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I happened to stumble upon various hilarious post on the various characteristics of a team Mafisi member.
According to social media, there are nine divisions or categories that they fall into:
1.Wood pecker
The type of fisi that comes to your house, eats your food. Dips his elongated fingers into your cookie jar,sleeps in your bed and leaves when satisfied. The only thing he brings to your life is good ***.
- Noisy hornbill
He’s an attention seeker. An empty debe. He talks loudly, dresses garishly, works through the nose to get attention from all the females around him- He will constantly have *** with females to assert his superiority. He believes that the only way to be the leader of the pack is by being a total jerk.
He’s practically what the internet has called the epitome of ‘Fuc*boy’.
3.The Chef
He’s the guy who wants to feed you before he eats you. Like ogres of the old. He asks you to visit- he has a recipe he found when scouring the interwebs.
Si you kuja I cook for you? Come, I will make dinner.
Really, his culinary skills are not as bad as his bed-skills. His delusions are that you can get a woman to bed because you can cook a meal. It is important to note that the only idea he has of fine dining is his free lunches at his company’s functions.
4.Cab guy
This guy is very concerned with your welfare. Or so it seems. He will offer to drop you home after a later night out. When he drops you home, he will take note of the apartment. When he is around-which is often, he will call and ask to come visit you if you are home.
- Chase bank
He never gives you money or treats you to dinner dates because the contract he was waiting for is yet to be approved. Or he is waiting for his cheque to go through after which he will take you on a world tour.
He basically feeds you lies. Has *** with you and exits before any of his cheques or contracts go through.
6.Anti-money transfer
The guys who will come up with a million reasons on why he can’t send you money. That he is in a business meeting or strutting at the field. Takes you in circles till you are too tired to insist.
He offers to meet you and give you the money in cash. Over the weekend. Another excuse comes up when he visits without the money. Shortly after getting laid, he disappears. Forever.
- Flight attendant
This one here is a riff-raff. A wannabe. He boats of his endless wanderings around the globe though he has no photos to show for it. He promises you trips to Dubai. Or to Hawaii. He lives off your naivety. Your inability to see him for the nonentity he is.
You keep cutting him a pound hoping for the journeys told. Journeys that never come.
8.The Neat-freak:
He spends the last dregs of his paycheck on fashion. Pricey shoes. Designer belts. Haute couture suits and a spattering of ties and lapel pins.
He is basically, a man who dresses like royalty but has nothing. You can’t eat his Tom Ford brogues, or chew his Jimmy Choo jackets. Women realize that soon enough. They then run for the hills.
9.Shakespeare/Lord Tennyson or their equivalent
His only claim to fame is his smooth tongue. He can talk. He can write. He’s not like you’re average emoji-using, bad-grammar-neighbor,next door.
His words takes you to bed faster than it takes to say nada.
The post FOR LADIES!! Here are 9 characteristics of a Team Mafisi member that you should know. appeared first on Nairobi Gossip.