APPEAR -- APPEAR NIS OF ANY NEW
THINGS GOING ON.
>> DAY THREE OF SARAH'S ONE
NATION US WITH TOUR, SHE MET
WITH DONALD TRUMP ON HIS HOME
TURF RIGHT HERE IN NEW YORK
CITY.
>> Jon: OH, MY GOD, SHE'S
HERE!
SHE'S IN THE HOUSE?
WITH HIM?
WOW, THIS BRINGS UP SO MANY
QUESTIONS.
WHOSE NAME WILL THEY PUT ON THE
VEHICLE THEY TRAVEL IN?
HMMM.
WILL THEY CALL IT TRAILING
PALUMP?
WHAT WILL THEY CALL IT.
SO TRUMP'S SHOWING PALIN THE
TOWN.
I'M SURE HE TOOK HER TO SOME
SAVVY PLACE LIKE THE TRUMP ALL
YOU CAN EAT CAVIAR, TRUMP FOIE
GRAS CAFETERIA, WHERE YOU'RE
GUARANTEED TO CONTRACT GOUT, THE
DISEASE OF KINGS.
>> DO YOU FEEL BROKE?
THEY WENT OUT FOR A SLICE OF
PIZZA IN NEW YORK'S TIMES
SQUARE.
>>
>> Jon: SLICE OF PIZZA.
RESPECT.
>> THE PLACE IS CALLED FAMOUS
FAMIGLIA PIZZA, AN ALBANIAN
CHAIN OF PIZZERIA.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Jon: WHAT?
FAMOUS FAMIGLIA IS ON 50th
AN BROADWAY.
I'VE EATEN THERE, THAT PIZZA IS
FINE.
I USED TO EAT THERE A LOT WHEN I
WAS WORKING NEXT DOOR AT
CAROLINE'S COMEDY CLUB.
IT'S GOOD CONVENIENCE PIZZA.
BACK IN THE '08s THERE WEREN'T
A LOT OF FOOD OPTIONS.
IT WAS FAMIGLIA'S PIZZA OR
EDIBLE UNDERWEAR FROM ONE OF THE
PORN SHOPS.
GIULIANI TOOK THAT OPTION AWAY.
YOU KNOW, DONALD, I DON'T WANT
TO SAY ANYTHING, BUT IF YOU'RE
TAKING AN ESTEEMED VISITOR TO
GET REAL NEW YORK PIZZA,
FAMIGLIA'S AIN'T IT.
>> IT WAS GREAT.
WASN'T THAT GOOD?
IT WAS REAL NEW YORK PIZZA.
>> Jon: NO!
NO!
IT'S NOT!
UNLESS REAL AUTHENTIC NEW YORK
PIZZA CAN ALSO BE FOUND IN
TERMINAL FOUR OF THE PHOENIX
AIRPORT.
GOVERNOR PALIN NEW YORK
DISRESPECT TO YOU, YOU'RE A
GUEST IN OUR CITY, WE SHOULD
OFFER YOU THE FINEST THAT OUR
HOSPITALITY HAS TO OFFER YOU.
I JUST WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
CAPTAIN COMBOVER COULD HAVE
PULLED THAT ONE OFFER.
I MEAN, FOR [BLEEPED] SAKE, IT'S
NEW YORK CITY.
I HATE TO USE THIS TERM THIS
CLOSE TO GROUND ZERO, BUT WE'RE
A BIT OF A PIZZA MI MEAN, YOU KNOW, YOU
LOMBARDI'S...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
HONESTLY, LOMBARDI'S.
OLDEST PIZZA RHEA IN TOWN,
LITTLE ITALY, THEY MAKE THEIR
OWN PORK SAUSAGE.
GO TO GRIMALDI'S UNDER THE
BROOKLYN BRIDGE.
GO THERE EARLY.
TOTONNO'S, CONEY ISLAND, THIN
CRUST, SWEET SAUCE.
GO TO THE ONE ON BLEECKER'S.
THAT'S FULL.
BUT THE PIES, MMM.
DENINO'S ON STATEN ISLAND, THE
BRED CRUMBS ON THE ISLAND.
GO TO JOSEPH'S.
[BLEEPED].
I GET IT.
I GET IT.
[APPLAUSE]
YOU'RE IN A HURRY.
MAYBE THERE'S SECURITY CONCERNS.
I'LL FORGIVE YOU THE SELECTION.
I APOLOGIZE.
LET'S JUST GO TO THE CONTENT OF
YOUR MEETING AND THEN WE'LL
JUST -- SON OF A BITCH.
YOU STAB YOUR SLICES, DONALD?
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, YOU STAB
SLICES OF PIZZA, THE STEAM FROM
THE BOTTOM OF THE SLICE IS GOING
TO MAKE THE TOP CRUST [BLEEPED].
MAYBE ALL THOSE YEARS, ALL THOSE
YEARS OF MAKING YOUR HAIR DO
WHATEVER IT IS THAT IT DOES, YOU
THINK YOU CAN GO AROUND LAYERING
ANY [BLEEPED] THING YOU WANT THE
LAYER AND NO ONE IS GOING THE
SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IRTD, BUT YOU
CANNOT.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, I APOLOGIZE.
I APOLOGIZE.
NO DISRESPECT.
I APOLOGIZE.
LET'S CONTINUE WITH THE MEETING.
ARE YOU EATING IT WITH A FORK, A
[BLEEPED] FORK?
AHHHH, NOOOOO!
[LAUGHTER]
[SPEAKING GIBB IRISH]
DONALD TRUMP, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
THAT FORK AND STICK IT RIGHT IN
NEW YORK'S EYE.
DONALD TRUMP, WE WORK HARD.
CAN YOU DO THIS?
YOU DISRESPECT US IN OUR OWN
HOUSE?
YOU CAN FEW YOUR NAME ON
EVERYTHING.
YOU CAN BUILD YOUR [BLEEPED]
GLASS AND GOLD-PAINT BUILDINGS
TO THE SKY, BLOCKING OUT THE
CENTRAL PARK SUN.
IT'S FINE.
IT'S FINE.
BUT YOU INVITE AN IMPORTANT
VISITOR TO OUR HOUSE AND OUR
TOWN AND EAT YOUR PIZZA WITH A
FORK RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.
WHO THE [BLEEPED] DO YOU THINK
YOU ARE?
[SPOKEN WITH ITALIAN ACCENT]
WHY DON'T YOU BEAT IT WITH A
CRYING GOAT ON LIBERTY ISLAND,
YOU SON OF A BIMP.
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
WATCH AND LEARN.
WATCH AND LEARN, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
WATCH AND [BLEEPED] LEARN.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU OGRE.
YOU FOLD IT AND YOU EAT IT.
ONE HAND.
YOU HAVE THE OTHER HAND FREE,
POWER AW2b|OPEPPER.
MAYBE YOU GIVE IT TO YOUR
FRIEND.
IT'S DELICIOUS, YEAH, YEAH.
TAKE CARE OF THAT.
ALL RIGHT.
VERY NICE.
OR MAYBE YOU JUST USE YOUR OTHER
HAND TO TAKE AN IRRESPONSIBLE
AMOUNT OF NAPKIN, DAB IT ON.
THERE AND MAYBE A FEW MINUTES
LATER YOU JUST THROW THEM THE
[BLEEPED] OUT.
YOU JUST THROW THEM OUT.
OR YOU LEAVE THEM ON THE TABLE
AND SAY, YOU WANT A TIP, HERE'S
YOUR [BLEEPED] TIP.
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A [BLEEPED]
BUS BOY?
NO DISRESPECT.
ACTUALLY, I WAS A BUS BOY.
MY POINT IS THIS:
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
DONALD, I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A
STORY.
I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A STORY,
DONALD TRUMP, MY GRANDPARENTS
IMMIGRATED TO THIS COUNTRY.
MY GANN FARE WORKED AS A TAXI
DRIVER IN BROOKLYN.
MY OTHER GRANDFATHER WORKED AS A
DRY CLEANER IN WASHINGTON
HEIGHTS.
I DO NOT COME FROM SUCCESSFUL
STOCK.
BUT EVERY DAY THEY WORKED THEIR
FINGERS TO THE BONE, TO THE
BONE, BECAUSE IT WAS THEIR DREAM
THAT SOME DAY THEIR GRANDSON
COULD AFFORD DEMEANOR V.D.s OF
ALL ROBERT DE NIRO'S MOVIES, SO
THAT HE COULD, LITTLE JEWISH BOY
OF LATVIAN, LITHUANIAN AND
MONGOLIAN BLOOD COULD ONE DAY,
GOD WILLING, PRETEND TO BE
ITALIAN ON TELEVISION.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ANDñr NOW, YOU [BLEEPED] YOUR
PIZZA WITH A FORK.
BASED ON HOW YOU EAT PIZZA,
DONALD, I WANT TO SEE YOUR LONG
FORM BIRTH CERTIFIC