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TIL: The loudest monkeys have the smallest testicles (smh.com.au)

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[–]sadbot8 90ポイント91ポイント  (3子コメント)

Why does every TIL appear to have an ulterior motive?

[–]Im_Aerodactyl 36ポイント37ポイント  (0子コメント)

The comment section is usually more fun that way.

[–]tjuicet [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

You're just mad because you know how loud you are.

[–]Apescat [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

whatever do you mean?

Where there's smoke there's fire dude....

[–]toeofcamell 316ポイント317ポイント  (22子コメント)

They also usually have trucks with the biggest lift kit

[–]DecoyNumber7 28ポイント29ポイント  (0子コメント)

You gotta have more room in your Levi's to get that leg up and in.

[–]Manos_Of_Fate 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

Also the biggest truck nutz.

[–]PassivePandas 6ポイント7ポイント  (17子コメント)

Where i live literally every 5th vehicle I see is a truck with a lift kit. Do they not know what everyone thinks of them?

[–]crashthewalls 8ポイント9ポイント  (12子コメント)

1/10 people think they have a construction/hard labor job. 1/10 of those people are right.

[–]bolabpls 5ポイント6ポイント  (11子コメント)

Most of the lifts I see are cheap body lifts. No advantages with a body lift, just looks.

[–]chuckymcgee [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

Nuh uh! What if I try to drive through several feet of water?? Huh??

[–]PassivePandas [スコア非表示]  (4子コメント)

Exactly. Plus most construction/labor jobs supply company trucks with stock suspension.

[–]bolabpls [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

Stock suspension on a large pickup is usually more than sufficient for hauling materials!

[–]PassivePandas [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

You got it. My father actually does a lot of hauling with his truck. He has stock suspension, and has never had trouble moving anything. Lift kits are all for looks

[–]bolabpls [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

Unless you're doing some serious off roading. I own a Toyota Land Cruiser, and even as killer as it is stock, I want to upgrade the suspension haha.

[–]PassivePandas [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Okay yeah very good point. Offroading is a different story! Daily driving with a 48" lift is extremely unnecessary.

[–]ShoalinStyle36 [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

dude the sad part is where i live its coveted, like your a loser if you dont drive a lifted environment penetrator with life-size replicas of Bronze-clad wooly mammoth testicles. I'm like for fucks sake. they drive around with the most pretentious smug face on too....

[–]PassivePandas [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

I feel you, more than you know. It's a lifestyle here. Something I'll never accept, or understand. I drove a siblings truck, and literally watched the arrow on the gas gauge move. Why would you want that? I'll stick to my turbocharged compact.

Edit: the testicles that hang off the back make me just want to drive into the nearest light post.

[–]Clant_Westwood [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I have a lifted truck. I bought it that way but i like it and dont really give a shit what other people think. It comes in handy living in the mountains too.

Edit: i also work construction but having a lifted truck doesnt provide any benifits in that area..

Edit 2: and I ride a motorcycle so does my dick size flucuate depending on my mode of transportation? Food for thought...

[–]beer_nuts 34ポイント35ポイント  (4子コメント)

This sounds like a Chinese proverb.

[–]NewClayburn 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

I always make up fortunes when reading my fortune to people at Chinese restaurants. I said something like, "The wisest monkey dwells furthest from the river." to my grandma once, and she looked at me like her mind had been blown.

[–]anddrewwiles 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

If only all Chinese proverbs were like this.

[–]ildementis [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Baseball is incorrect; man with 4 balls cannot walk.

[–]thr33beggars 67ポイント68ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's why I am so quiet all the time, so people assume I have large testicles.

[–]pipsdontsqueak 12ポイント13ポイント  (2子コメント)

Apparently it may provide a competitive advantage for mating. The larger vocal cords come with an evolutionary trade off.

But researchers found that those monkeys with the biggest hyoid were also the least-equipped for sperm production, and vice versa. Not that this is necessarily a disadvantage: Charles Darwin suggested the plus-sized vocal organs of the species were sexually selected.

Males living in groups where they were the lone male tended to have smaller testicles and bigger hyoids, whereas those who were competing against other males in their group tended to have larger testicles.

"This is probably because the females in these species will mate with several males, and so the males have evolved to produce more sperm to increase their chances of fertilising an egg," explained Dunn.

[–]slidingslowly 43ポイント44ポイント  (5子コメント)

do you think this applies to humans?

[–]Phredex 54ポイント55ポイント  (14子コメント)

As evidenced daily in r/politics

[–]ThatsMyHoverboard 32ポイント33ポイント  (13子コメント)

Don't forget about /r/The_Donald

[–]bigshot937 34ポイント35ポイント  (5子コメント)

Actually, go ahead. Lets all forget /r/the_donald.

[–]rodonod [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

http://imgur.com/kjDIeyF

[–]Phredex 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I dont frequent that one.

[–]Slobotic -3ポイント-2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well it isn't a default sub yet.

edit: lol, I'm just kidding. Jeez

[–]mallius62 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

So he can fondle them with his little hands.

[–]emulovevolume [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

You do know that /r/TheDonald is a troll sub...run by Hillary supporters...right?

[–]Pzooks 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

Does that apply to diesel trucks and their owners?

[–]markWAD 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

Makes sense. The animal that barks the loudest has the smallest balls. Looking at you Trump.

[–]EvilPhd666 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

There is a Trump joke in there...

[–]raytrace75 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think this should be researched as a hypothesis in humans as well.

[–]pzerr [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Ya Trump.

[–]pm_me_ur_screenshot 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

As a loud money I'm offended and reported your post

[–]autotldr 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 75%. (I'm a bot)

According to a study published by the Current Biology journal, male howler monkeys with a louder and deeper roar are more likely to have tinier testicles.

Howler monkeys produce one of the loudest vocal calls of any terrestrial animal, owing to their highly-modified larynx and its large, cup-shaped bone called the hyoid.

Males living in groups where they were the lone male tended to have smaller testicles and bigger hyoids, whereas those who were competing against other males in their group tended to have larger testicles.

Extended Summary | FAQ | Theory | Feedback | Top keywords: monkey#1 male#2 hyoid#3 vocal#4 howler#5

[–]PyrosEnjoyPieHW2 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lurkers have the biggest testicle and commenter have the smallest...aww shit

[–]SqBlkRndHole [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Yes, but how big are their hands?

[–]MrAcurite [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Wow, I never could've guessed what the comment section would look like. Not in a million years.

[–]Callmedory [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Is that analogous to motorcycles without mufflers and cars with radios booming, too?

[–]fatlip1828 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Haha. Trump.

[–]10Miles [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

That must mean r/The_Donald has a collective testicular girth equaling that of a single chihuahua puppy testicle.

[–]erokk88 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

[Insert political statement that has nothing to do with thread but that I just can't keep to myself]

[–]_ctrl_ [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Better let everyone know how I feel about he US 2016 Presidential Election.

[–]goodoldharold 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Latvian Proverb Visskaļāk pērtiķi ir vismazākās sēkliniekos.

[–]kornerguy [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Explains Trump

[–]lovedbyfew 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

So...Trump?

[–]PoliticalPoppycock 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

This explains Donald Trump ;)

[–]kiwious 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you have the balls to compete?

[–]whatsausername90 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sounds about right

[–]FoodandWhining 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can probably just say primates. Sorry, YOU CAN PROBABLY JUST SAY PRIMATES!

[–]Barondonvito 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Speak loudly and carry a small stick?

[–]Wargala 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Duh, I see them on Reddit all the time.

[–]utu_ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

interesting. I have big testicles and people would call me quiet.

I'm going to need to ask my loud friends if I can inspect their sacks to confirm this theory.

[–]bcclittlewill 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

hey just like people

[–]dhays2000 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That goes for humans as well. Just kidding.

[–]Tszemix 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sounds like an excellent proverb.

[–]princessdaisy91 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Proof that we used to be monkeys?

[–]Birdy1001 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

hahahahahaha, is that like the loudest cars?, the loudest motorcycles? hahahahah

[–]tindrummer99 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Monkeys driving brodozers......diesel brodozers....with subs....

[–]aquaqmar [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Kevin worked reeeal hard to head the research on that one.

[–]BabeOfBlasphemy [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Reminds me of my Pa when he used to say: "real men don't have to fucking talk about it, they just do it".

[–]Infj-dude [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Huh, I guess we are closely related.

[–]oh_no_aliens [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Just like in real life!

[–]nurev [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Watch the quiet ones.

[–]emulovevolume [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

And they drive Dodge RAM trucks

[–]CaseyTwist [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Smh.com.au

Smh tbh fam

[–]bulkheads [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

No surprise there

[–]AeroRandy [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

THIS ISN'T TRUE AT ALL DAMN IT!!!

[–]Parrotheadnm [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Thought this was /r/nomoretrumpspam at first

[–]NovemberComingFire [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Speak softly but carry some huge nuts.

[–]NotVerySmarts [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

The size of a primates testicles is relative to the promiscuity of their women. The more sex the female has, the bigger the male's balls are. Gorillas have tiny dicks and balls because they don't have to compete to mate; the biggest male runs the show.

[–]coldb_too [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

and drive the biggest trucks

[–]Szos[🍰] [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

In humans, its the ones with the smallest hands.

[–]chambertlo [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Just like in humans.

[–]TotesMessenger [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)

[–]clar1f1er [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Ain't that the fuckin truth

[–]Toirneach [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Mr. Trump, shhhhhhhhh.

[–]cockamaimey [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I thought this was a r/theDonald post for a second

[–]reLyea [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I have huge balls and am obnoxiously loud. So I guess that disproves evolution. Checkmate atheists!

[–]princesspooball [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I read that as "The smallest monkey has the loudest testicles "

[–]Not_ur_buddy__GUY [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

and the largest pick up trucks.

[–]KnowledgeisImpotence 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Please cross-post to /r/The_Donald

[–]SchuylerL 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think we just found Trump's new campaign slogan!

[–]peanut_monkey_90 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Something something Donald Trump

[–]hulahoopsmafia 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

My family must think I have the biggest bollocks on the planet at the dinner table.

[–]ojee111 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I imagine that is high up in their thought processes.

"Could you pass the mustard please?" Julia said whilst trying not to visualise the gargantuan size of hulahoopsmafia's testicles for the hundredth time this meal.

[–]ibcingu2 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Which conforms with male homo sapiens. The littler their appendage the bigger mouths they have.

[–]Mechdave 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If applied to humans, would that include the diesel pick up trucks with exhaust stacks in the beds? The 'ol adage about compensation?

[–]suugakusha 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's true for humans, too.

[–]Aiku 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This applies equally to humans

[–]CanisMaximus -3ポイント-2ポイント  (1子コメント)

This explains Republicans.

[–]PMMEYourTatasGirl [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

don't even bother reading the comments here, they are all terrible

[–]yowzah -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm sorry, were we discussing the Republican party?