Men Depression and MGTOW

Please welcome Hedon to SOTE

One of the topics often discussed in the MGTOW community is male disposability and how that has helped carve, throughout history, the only identity a man knows, “a doing.”  That is all he knows himself to be.  He is a provider and a protector, nothing more.  His value is placed on things external to him and the society he finds himself in runs on how much sweat he can garner from exertion in trying to attain that perceived value.  But what happens when he falters?  What happens when, to borrow from Stardusk’s surreal world story, this robot that is the male human malfunctions?  What happens when he can’t “do” anymore?  No statistics, in my opinion, bring to light male disposability more than the high male suicide rate and the utter neglect shown to it by society at large.  To quote one of my favorite movies Bronx Tale, “Nobody cares.” 

When one thinks of what makes a man and the struggles men face, which is often ignored and swept under the rug anyways, very little, if any at all, is said about the degenerative psychological disorder called depression.  This inability to think of depression in relation to the human male is birthed in the subconscious of the society that saddled him with various gender stereotypes, stereotypes that have plagued him since the dawn of time, from birth to death.  If one is asked to list, on a piece of paper, words that describes a man, the list would probably include words such as strength, hard work, stoic, a provider, a protector, power, “alpha,” someone who does not or should not cry or show emotion, basically everything one would say about a prototypical machine. 

At the bottom of that list (or not included) would be words such as human, tears, emotion, vulnerability, depression, tired, stressed, lonely, words that no one bats an eye when extended to women.  Like Stardusk said about man, paraphrasing, “he is atlas and upon his shoulders rest the edifices of the world,” never taken into account that the conundrums that come with the sometimes impossible responsibility and image placed on him could lead him down the disastrous and often a dark labyrinth that is depression and the grave result of which is suicide when he can no longer be of service.  Right from birth, he internalizes his role as a man and everything that comes with it, he views himself no different from the stereotypes and the responsibilities placed on his gender, and woe to anyone who dare question the immorality of it.  When life happens, as it usually does, even to the best of us, he is lost.  Devoid of his perceived importance to society, mainly because he can’t “do” anymore, he finds himself to be a rather empty shell, a worthless entity. 

So depression sets in.  When this happens, he suppresses it, or worst yet drowns his sorrow in liquor, indulging in other self-destructive behaviors he may consider “the way out.”.  Inside, he is lamenting and screaming to the world that refuses hear or listen to him mainly because showing emotion is not what man does and is not what man is.  Besides, he can’t “do” anymore, so who cares about what he’s feeling, right?  Someone like Robin Williams is a prime example of someone, man, no one thought could fall victim to this beast called depression and even if it was thought of, could ever be driven to the brink of fastening that rope around his neck and kicking out the support from under him.  But that is the problem isn’t it?  How many women, if had shown the neurological symptoms Robin Williams showed, would’ve gotten the needed concern and the support he must have sorely needed at the time? 

One could liken a man’s crippling depressed state to a locked-in-syndrome of cerebral death, where the person is fully aware and conscious but completely paralyzed from head to toe.  Other than the ability to move the eyes in their sockets, he is forever locked inside the useless unresponsive body, unable to do, say, or move anything else.  He is screaming in excruciating pain, but no one hears.  Nobody cares.  Men’s mental health is a very serious issue and no one is able to lend credence to this better than Aphroditi Zartaloudi in this rather old but well-written scholarly article called “What is men’s experience of depression?”

The article lays out some very key points, exploring, fairly deeply, the issue of depression as it relates to men and the reason why when men are depressed garners very little to no attention compared to women in the same state.  When a woman battles depression, not only needn’t she worry about some stigmatized image of strength or emotionlessness, there are family, friends, and the society at large ready to hear her out and lend nonjudgmental support. 

There are various mental health facilities readily available to cater to her needs without the typecast baggage that comes with having a slit between her legs.  If anything, she gets the needed attention precisely because of that while man’s mental health concerns are shunned because of his.  Therefore, it should not come as a surprise to anyone that healthcare professionals, whose sole purpose is to care for all who seek medical help and whose job require unbiasedness in their health assessment and diagnosis of patients, often find themselves capitulating to the preconceived notion that women are helpless creatures whose health must be valued above that of the male, “women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression than men because of many medical doctors and mental health professionals, as well as family members and friends, may find it easier to diagnose women with depression more than men because of the fear of the stigma and shame surrounding depression for men, disorder which is regarded as an emotional and not manly illness” (Zartaloudi, 2011, P. 2). 

Unlike the man, she’s not burdened with any impossible image to upkeep.  She need not be apprehensive about a healthcare professional not thoroughly assessing and diagnosing her because of the stigma that her gender carries.  He, on the other hand, has to question his manhood, consider the stigma, as well as the responsibilities that come with being a man if he was ever found to be depressed, cry, show emotion, or any vulnerability whatsoever.  Therefore, seeking help when it is directly needed and of utmost importance becomes an arduous task, a seemingly impossible mountain to climb because he finds sitting in front of that doctor, male or female, who may let their clouded judgment affect their assessment and diagnosis, unmanly.  So what does he do?  He doubles down, convince himself that he is not depressed, open the bottle and take in the stink that arises from it, a sweet aroma to him, and lets all his troubles fly away.  Only that they don’t fly but are transiently pushed deep down with the help of alcohol, only to fester and become more and more problematic, gnawing at the problems that, day after day, erode his sanity. 

Past studies that show women battling depression more than men have been proven to be false or incomplete, mainly because one cannot document or survey what isn’t being reported, “other studies have found that men, in comparison to women, rarely use mental health services.  Thus, assessing gender differences in depression by looking at those who receive treatment is not appropriate for determining whether there is a true gender difference” (Zartaloudi, 2011, P. 3).  So one can clearly see how a major issue concerning men can be glossed over or disregarded in our gynocentric society.  Of course, the result of depression is severe depression and the result of severe depression is usually suicide, at least when it comes to men, with intervals of sporadic indulgence in self-destructive behaviors, a downward spiral that often results in self-immolation, ending their own map.  As Zartaloudi referenced, “Men are around 3 to 4 times more likely to kill themselves than women in all age categories.  The mortality rate for men by suicide is four times the rate of women but women are hospitalized for attempted suicide at 1.5 times the rate of men.” 

In some countries, the ratio is even higher, “in Finland the ratio of male-female death by suicide is 10:1 while in Ireland the ratio is 11:1” (Zartaloudi, 2011, P. 3).  The seriousness of the matter, how grim and swift the act is with men, truly reveals itself in the attempts, “An Australian study found that on average, for every completed male suicide there are five attempts, while for every completed female suicide there are 35 attempts” (Zartaloudi, 2011, P. 3).

There is much more to be said about the issue, and an argument could certainly be made that the article did not delve deeply enough into the issue or consider how depression varies with age, marital versus non-marital life, but many other studies conducted on suicide and homeless show that it affects men far more than it does women.  One could only hope, however tenuous, that going forward, steps would be taken in the right direction to curb this phenomenon.  Independent of any societal or government help, because let’s face it, the chances of male issues being taken seriously in our gynocentric society is slim to none, the individual male must turn inward and see value in himself. 

You are valuable, not the fickle conditional type of value society placed on you as a man, but the value that comes with being a human being.  Yes, you have value.  The importance of male awareness cannot be overstated but any conversation that would slow the skidding train of male depression and suicide would have to include the social, the rather damaging stigma, placed on manhood and the stripping of it.  Put down the proverbial shield and spear and walk away.  Strip yourself of any obligation to your country with any kind of military service, strip yourself of the alpha/beta dichotomy used in controlling you, strip yourself of any responsibility to people who holds none to you, strip yourself of any valueless demands placed on you by women or the government they control, strip yourself of any obligation to get married, and shrug any responsibility that deems you “weak” by the unjust small-mindedness of the feminine when you refuse to undertake it.  Like I said in one of TFM videos, MGTOW men should take a peek over their shoulders…there are no chains.  Take solace in that fact.  No hatred or animosity, just a needed approach towards freedom while rejecting that which enslaves you.  It should be underscored that in the article, it is estimated that by the year 2020, depression will be the second most cause of disability in the developed world and the number one cause in the developing world.  It is very easy for me to picture men still leading the way with this phenomenon as the system glide farther and farther into gynocentrism, but I know a growing group of men who, day by day, are saying “No Más.”  Go MGTOW.