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Happy Father's Day! (self.MensLib)

Ciceros_Assassin が 投稿 - announcement

Hello, /r/MensLib!

For Father's Day, we'd like to make a space to talk about our own fathers, and our experiences as fathers.

Sons and daughters, how would you describe your relationship with your own father or father figure? What lessons did he share with you, what traits does he have that you'd like to take forward in your own life, or not? How does your father, or your relationship with him, demonstrate the kind of masculine traits that we talk about here?

Fathers, what do you think of the gig? What is your family life like? How do you relate to your children, and what kind of father do you hope to be? What do you hope your kids learn from you?

These are all just general prompts; we're interested in hearing any and all of your reflections on fatherhood, your own father, and your experiences with being a father.

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[–]Ciceros_Assassin[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Paging /u/whatainttaken, whose perspective on this earlier this week was really nice.

[–]mmmmmily 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm a lady, but my dad is fantastic. Amazing caring role model, constantly there for me and my brother, clearly devoted to the children under any circumstances, and supportive to no end. Overall a really solid dude.

[–]Pariahdog119 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've met my dad twice in my life, when I was 11 and 22. (I'm a year late for the third installment at 33.) Haven't talked to him for eleven years. Just got a letter with his number, asking me to call him.

That was a couple weeks ago. I have absolutely no idea what to say.

[–]e_s_k [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Lots of up votes but not much participation. I don't have much to say either I guess. My dad's a good guy. Raised me right. Back before I was born he was pretty active with civil rights protests and was really involved in NOW so he taught me well on those counts. I'm lucky to have such a progressive role model.

[–]JonnyAU [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

My grandfather was an entirely emotionally unavailable man. He provided for his family and met their physical needs but he either did not care or did not realize his children would need more than that.

My father was his eldest son. To his credit, my father came to the realization relatively early in his life that he would never receive the warmth and acceptance from his father he desired and so he stopped trying.

After having three daughters, my father thought he was done having children until I happened. My father being named David named me Jonathan in the hopes that we would have the relationship he lacked with his father.

He largely succeeded; I had a wonderfully supportive father and enjoyed a very close relationship with him. He died in an accident 14 years ago when I was 19. I miss him very much.

While I consider myself very fortunate to have had him as a father, he was human and had his faults. He was insufferable to have any discussion about religion or politics with. It wasn't so much a discussion as him telling you the truth and him not listening to your response. That conservatism extended to gender roles as you would expect, but I do think his warmth made my rejection of toxic masculinity possible in spite of that.

I have a 3 year old son myself now who I predictably named David. I very much enjoy being his father. What good I am able to do as his father I attribute largely to my own father's example. And I am hopeful that I'll be able to add to that a more expansive set of options of masculinity for him.

Father's Day has been very peculiar for me. With my father and grandfathers deceased, I had nothing to observe for over a decade, and now suddenly I'm the recipient of the attention.