Will explain in a few days. Please, if you're Christian pray for me. If you just don't think I'm a monster share a kind word or a thought for now, please. It's not just bleak but horrifying. I feel so scared and in so much regret, I might be a monster but I wasn't born a monster and this monster is now in severe pain. I know my haters will rejoice in seeing me suffer, but there are still a few good people in the world who might see I only wanted good. A wife, chidren, happy marriage ,somebody to cuddle with, somebody to buy a house with a dog, happiness.
And now I am where I'm am, lying in my own shit and puke for the last two days, asking myself I deserved all of this merely for speaking the truth on men and women. Truth I didn't realize up to very recently and thereby got traumatized by horrendous treatment by women.
Something has changed by now, my brain has snapped. I need help from somebody, anybody. Me, who avoided any dates during the last 2 years, who used dirty methods to get at least some sex during that time, is now lying on his bed in tears,
Why? Met a girl who I liked. For the first time in years didn't consider her as scum or wanted to harm her. I was desperate enough to imagine a serious relationship, maybe even marriage in due time. But I purposely declined to ask her if she has a bf for a week,merely to prolong hope, before she finally said she did (and isn't lying, will ban all who say so). Amazingly, I got so much more vital during that week, hoping, hoping, hoping,
It took so little to bring hope back but now it just backfired to leave me like this,
Why? Because ultimately men need women for girlfriends and wives. It's the primary purpose of our lives. And I can never have it. So why live then? But I'm too aware of the fact that feminism brought this upon me so if I die I might want to extract revenge first.
But I don't want to die. I want a life.