In accordance with our moderator stance on transparency I have been asked to post this on the behalf of our former moderator /r/FatZombieMama. This was emailed to me, as well as has been mailed to our top moderator /u/Osiris32.

---

---

---

---

I'm sorry if my exit puts the mod team in a bind. For the drama too. I tried to go as quietly as possible. I'll help transition things and be available for questions in the future so nothing need be lost. This will be long because I don't intend to repeat it, but I will answer questions if any.

I left because I'm done trying to work with EpicRepairTime. 100%, no other reason. He does not hear or understand the words I say to him. I've tried ignoring, joking, doing an ERT-style logical wall-of-text explanation, and once, after A FEW drinks, telling him off. The issue from day one has been his unprofessional derogatory comments to me and other mods in public. Even that I was fine overlooking with gritted teeth, but his refusal to acknowledge any push-back from me was a huge problem. I'm fine disagreeing, but he would simply ignore what I said and then do it again later.

If he's forwarded any of my comments to you, or as you've seen me post elsewhere, I never cared HOW things were done here. We were doing okay as things went. I did object to him saying in /r/Portland that AskPortland mods were shitty, for example. If he wanted to give direction, give fucking direction as lesser mods had asked for, don't slam me in public for not meeting a standard he won't even lay out when asked.

I told him each time he did it that I wasn't okay with it. He ignored it each time. That is disrespectful and a big boundary for me.

He invited me to lunch this week, as I guess you know. I hoped it was to try and mend fences, but it turns out it was to discuss me becoming the mod in charge of the day-to-day mods. He hinted at restructuring the team with your blessing, apparently removing/adding mods in a specific order. He flat out offered me more power in the sub because it was 'obviously something I wanted' but before I agreed he wanted me to acknowledge that he and you were the boss of me. He literally said I'd have to "be able to take your lumps like a grown up." He remains convinced that my issues were A) not having enough power; and B) wanting to dictate how/if we curate. I said multiple, MULTIPLE times that this was not the issue.

I was then insulted when he patronizingly mentioned over and over how he sees leadership potential in me, my skills and dedication are a real asset, he's been thinking about promoting me into this for a long time, this more-powerful role was a reward that could help me come up to my potential, etc etc. He thinks he's complimenting me, sadly. I have lost respect for him, he's never respected me—why in the world would I be happy that he thinks I deserve a reward from him?

I know my skills. I do not want a goddamn pat on the head for them.

I know you have both put in work here long before us. I thank you for it. I did not want to change it or take over. I wanted to collaborate, offer technical things we could do to help cut down on the clerical busywork of modding, be used for the community, whatever direction that was. He has always taken my mention of the amount of BS flairing/removing/modqueue I do as though I think it makes me better than him because he does less. I pointed out the amount of BS I do because I can AUTOMATE that if we could agree on a direction. At least discuss a direction?

Reddit hierarchies and power structures are a RIDICULOUS way to structure a team in real life. An actual team of adults can collaborate, however messily. EpicRepairTime constantly reminded me that he is my superior, and I was to know my place. If that place had come with instructions, great. It didn't. We've been doing our best to do the clerical BS with little input, spiked by the occasional "you're doing it wrong" from Epic.

It's been months of me mostly ignoring his asshole tendencies but occasionally standing up and being as clear as I know how that he was crossing a boundary. I've tried to explain it to him, nicely and not nicely.

His "promotion" idea was incredibly disrespectful, not just to me but to the other mods he plans to shuffle. He clearly has not understood one word I've said, but has interpreted my wants for me, and surprise: they were the ones he hammers on. I asked myself if I wanted to continue with the relationship. I did not. Life's too short to get slapped down periodically by someone I don't even work for. He wasn't going to change so it was up to me, and I removed myself from the situation.

If EpicRepairTime forwards things I've written, you'll see some in there about you. I don't feel animosity towards you, nor disrespected, but I do think there's been a lack of leadership. I assume whatever gets forwarded will express that, so I'll cop to it now. I also wouldn't care in the least, if there wasn't Epic periodically telling us we're doing a shitty job.

Well, that's long enough. My intent has always been to help the majority of people enjoy the sub, plus hopefully enjoy myself doing it. I gave up on the "enjoy myself" part a few months ago, but now it's to the point where I felt I couldn't help the users. I dare not actually mod other than just approving everything, just like everyone else is doing, which is why /r/portland is now craigslist/facebook. EpicRepairTime is responsible for that mindset in everyone -- I'm not the only one he does this to. We do talk amongst ourselves. Look to your other undermods, I am not an isolated case.

I'll be available to help however I can, but not if it involves working with or under EpicRepairTime. I get enough of asshole "superiors" at my paid job.

tl;dr Decisions by undermods are periodically denigrated, so undermods no longer mod Attempts to get this discussed by any method have failed I do not want power and do not have a curation agenda Telling me I'm a great little worker who deserves a reward is insulting I'm too old for this shit