Guarantee for success and a bully.

The pitch as the arena for the battles, the outside world as a common enemy. From next season it is going to be Manchester United against the rest, and all the powers that come lose with it. Come on in, José Mourinho.

The nasty smile is back in the Premier League after a short delay. The character that will grind your gears, who makes white white, and black black, he is the evil itself in a way. The starter of riots and media hypes. Enemy of the FA and the referees. Immensely hated by those who play the game less filthy.

With José Mourinho Manchester United didn’t only get a real winner, a one hundred percent guarantee for success, but also a controversial bully who sooner or later drags his clubs into the dark swamp of the better conspiracy theories and chaos. And all of that voluntarily, often deliberately.

Manipulator

Bluntly you can say that José Mourinho tries to break down what others have carefully constructed. The Portuguese is demolisher by trade and thinks morale is something for types that find winning a dirty concept. It’s the shed where he put Arsene Wenger with a soundbite of just 3 words that will always stick to the Frenchman. The Special One doesn’t follow rules, but uses them to his advantage, stretches them out and in the aftermath he will always be the victim or conqueror. Static on the line, mud, blaming, in short fuss. The Theatre of Dreams will change into the Theatre of Rebellion. One of the biggest clubs in the world sold its soul to a manipulator for who only one truth exists: the sweetness of the victory. How the football is played? A detail.

Manchester United has become a club like many others before them. The heir of Sir Alex Ferguson and Sir Matt Busby is definitely in the past. In interviews the specific DNA of the record champion of England is often mentioned. The color red has been a synonym in the last 60 years for exciting football all the way deep into injury time. A mix of fantasy, flair, technique and when possible, their own academy. Sir Bobby Charlton, George Best, Paul Scholes, David Beckham and Ryan Giggs, complemented by genius outsiders like Eric Cantona and Cristiano Ronaldo. They formed the red thread in the history of the brand that is loved in every corner of the world. That legacy is now in the hands of the bogeyman who years ago was rejected by Barcelona because he didn’t fit the club’s message of més que un club. He who caused a revolt between the members of Real Madrid. He who last season lost his authority at Chelsea, because he confronted the team doctor Eva Carneiro on the pitch. That last incident still haunts him and will soon have a legal follow-up. It doesn’t get more symbolic than that: the first public presentation of José Mourinho as figurehead of Manchester United will take place on the 6th of June in a courthouse in London. Carneiro accuses her former boss of sexism.

Narcissist

His press conferences are academy theatre. With the cameras aimed at his head the narcissist Mourinho comes to the surface. His argumentation often appear, direct or indirect, as odes to himself. At his presentation in the Santiago Bernabéu he announced that he was prepared. He was a trainer for the biggest ships that catch the most wind and looking at his CV the most fit and basically the only candidate for the biggest ship on earth: Real Madrid. It’s all true, but just like Louis van Gaal, Mourinho has the odd tendency to remind everyone where he worked and how much he has won. On that level United pursues a consistent policy: again they choose a manager who’s personality is bigger than the club and with his character will repel people.

David Moyes failed at Manchester United due to a lack of leadership. He underestimated the reach of the club, said wrong this in the media and proved to be an awful merchant on the transfer market. Louis van Gaal was himself from the start, and he failed because he was Louis van Gaal. His players didn’t understand his computer-controlled revolution and seemed to be won over by fear and assignments and hated the homework he sent to their laptops. Afraid to make mistakes in front of the school’s blackboard. Under Van Gaal the combination football was so lame and dull that you almost forgot in what colors Manchester United were footballing. Every bit of excitement seemed to be sucked out of the match.

The Happy One

With Mourinho Manchester United will generate attention, that’s for sure. Pep Guardiola has already given him the title of the character “he who is el puto jefe, el puto amo in the press room. (the fucking boss, the fucking master). The Portuguese loves the mindgames. He crawls under the skin of rivaling coaches, distracts them from their original task and makes sure that there’s a heated atmosphere around certain games. “Tomorrow at 20:45 we will start on the pitch, outside of that he wins” Guardiola once said prior to a Champions League clash. “He knows like no other how to play the media, I don’t have that talent”

Three years ago Mourinho returned to Chelsea as The Happy One. He had success everywhere he went and found the tranquility to tie himself for a longer period to the club with who he felt affiliative. It seemed like the rough edges were gone. Older, thus wiser Mourinho said. But with Mourinho Chelsea quickly emerged as the most hated club of England. Manchester United knows what to expect. The newspapers will be filled with non-essential issues, insinuations and imprecations. Old Trafford will become a robber’s den where the result will be declared sacred.

It’s the consequence of signing a manager who thinks and sleeps in goblets and, if necessary, will sacrifice the biggest club icon. Think of the situation with Iker Casillas at Real Madrid. Added up the Portuguese has got over a million in fines for bringing football in discredit. On the other end he does have 8 league titles in 4 different countries, 2 Champions League titles and 11 other prizes.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise: José Mourinho has been appointed to do what he’s always done best, assemble a group that bursts of winners’ mentality and have a few trophies on the table in the end. He doesn’t believe in beautiful football or spectacle, but in good football. In the case of Mourinho that is avoiding risks and anticipating on the mistakes of the opponent. He disrupts and calculates and hitches a ride on the extra skill of his star players. The last title of Chelsea can partly be written on the name of Eden Hazard. In the beginning the Belgian had trouble with making a few extra yards backwards that his manager demanded of him, but once convinced the attacker seemed to be the difference between a title or no title.

Hungry

It’s the black magic of Mourinho. He knows like the best how to push a group of superstars into a certain direction. He tickles them, challenges them and motivates them. They who can’t or won’t comply, fall off. In his Inter-spell he handled Zlatan Ibrahimović in a specific way. The Swede scored one world goal after the other, but Mourinho was not impressed. “What in god’s name is this, man” the Swede said in his auto-biography Me, Zlatan. “If he doesn’t respond to that type of goal, what does he respond to? I wanted to satisfy him, but one time he fell out of character. After we won three prizes with Inter Milan and I became top goal scorer. He jumped up and down like a little child.” Zlatan is not impressed by anyone, but Mourinho pierced him. The question is however: how will the board of the club cope when the manager is in the news for the wrong reasons? And that reason will come. It’s not if but when the devil inside Mourinho will step forward. He will agitate everything at the club he wanted to manage for a long time. He publicly associated himself with Chelsea, where he is part of the history at Stamford Bridge, but like Paul Scholes jokingly said about the appointment of Mourinho: “He has messed around with these Mickey Mouse clubs and now it looks like he is coming to a proper football club”

The fifth place of last season doesn’t change much to that fact. Manchester United is a multinational of huge size and imposing figures, a ‘giant club’ according to Mourinho, where only the best managers survive. It has become a corporation with unreal cashflows, lucrative sponsor deals and a rival in the city with the same scorching ambitions. Manchester United is a mammoth tanker adrift, who needs a confident leader. According to José Mourinho, only one is qualified for that job. The new season has begun.

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