Jacob has embedded himself within several communities:
privacy and anonymity, infosec, journalistic, and
academic. While framing himself as a community
builder, he has repetitively sought out new and
would-be new members to these communities, and taken
advantage of their trust and their views of him as a
"respected" leader.
Have a partner?
If you spurn Jake or attempt to stand up to him, he'll
go after the people you care about the most next,
doing whatever he can to humiliate and harm them.
Research
Jake is known to do whatever it takes to get others to
do all the work, but have his name listed first on the
paper "because the names should be alphabetically
sorted." He's also quite happy to do the same with
code, projects, articles, whatever he can to increase
his level of power and influence.
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Several years ago, I was dating someone in the Tor community and we
desired to keep this quiet to avoid stigma. Jake suspected us, and set
about asking our friends and my partner if we were dating. We denied it
to him, again to avoid stigma and because we wanted to keep our personal
lives private. Despite that, I was later directly asked if we "were
fucking", in front of several others.
This boundary violation combined with public shaming is part of a larger
pattern of behavior. On numerous occasions, Jake also joked in front of
others about other aspects of my personal life that I wished to keep
private. Despite repeated requests from me to stop, the jokes continued.
At one point, Jake made a joke in a public venue during a speech. Video
of this event is published on the Internet.
In one instance, Jake deliberately created a situation where my partner
was made to feel safe - devices were removed from a room, lights were
turned off, warm blankets were provided. My partner was made to feel
that it was safe to confide in him that we were in fact dating, and was
led to divulge details about our relationship and sex life to him.
With this information, we were repeatedly made to feel uncomfortable
with either insinuations in front of others or direct approaches for
sex. On more than one occasion, we had to decline requests for a
threesome, within earshot of others, despite Jake being well aware that
we were neither interested, nor wanted the others within earshot to
become aware that the two of us were dating.
Because of this behavior, Jake and I had a falling out for a long period
of time. Finally, years later, Jake made a tearful apology, promising to
do better by me and everyone else. To my great dismay, I saw what
appeared to be the same behavior targeted at another member of the Tor
community just two months later. That story was then quickly altered and
confused, and he claimed that the incidents were highly dependent on
context. Nonetheless it struck me as the same exact kind of public
shaming that I had experienced repeatedly. I felt and still feel that
regardless of the context, this type of shaming is extremely alienating
for folks to witness, and makes them unwilling and uncomfortable to
participate in meetings with him.
I had really hoped that after the last incident that he would be on good
behavior, but once again I am left to conclude that this behavior has
only relocated elsewhere. It's as if he learns not to be abusive with
people who happen to have enough power/stature/influence to make him
stop, but then simply moves on to the next target.
Forest
Jake and I had been friends and coworkers for years. Looking back on it, I'm
not sure why. From the very first Tor developer meeting I had attended, he
repetitively propositioned my partner and I for sex. He even went so far as
to, on the very first meeting on the first morning, in front of all the other
developers — whom I had not yet met — tell me that he was okay with my partner
and I fucking in the same bed as him while he watched, causing both of my
partner and I to feel completely humiliated that our private sex life was
being discussed in front of colleagues we had hoped to build a good start
towards friendly, professional relationships.
While travelling, the first time he came to the city I lived in, I invited him
to stay at my house. As politely as I could, I explained, "You can have the
floor, and I'll take my bed, or the other way around. If you're comfortable
with it, we can share my bed, as friends. Meaning no physical contact." We
both slept in my bed.
That turned out (mostly) fine. (Except, of course, being propositioned again,
this time for a threesome with Jake and one of my roommates.) In fact, Jake
and I proceeded to share beds in a friendly manner over the years, and nothing
bad ever happened.
Once Jake had moved to Germany, I came to visit friends there for a while, and
one night I stayed at Jake's place. Again, we shared a bed, as friends.
There weren't even any discussion or attempts beforehand to convince me to do
anything sexual with him. It was freezing cold, and I went to bed with
several layers of street clothes on.
Sometime around 5 o'clock in the morning, I woke up very confused and startled
because my pants were unzipped and Jake's arm was wrapped around me, his hands
in my underwear and he was rubbing my clit and rimming the edges of my vagina.
I tried to shove him off me and wake him up. He's physically much bigger than
me, so the shoving didn't work as well as it should have, but nonetheless he
rolled over, a bit exageratedly, mumbling as if asleep.
In the morning, I confronted him about it. I was really confused. I didn't
know if he was actually asleep, but if he was, how did my clothes come undone?
Assuming that if I was super confrontational about it, he'd have some excuse
like "Oh, but I thought it was okay that time because you didn't explicitly
give me the we're-just-friends lecture before bed…" When confronting Jake
about this, I said, "Dude, what the fuck. You started fingering me last
night." It took a few seconds for there to be a reaction on his face, and
then he seemed confused, saying "Oh… what? I don't remember that." I glared
at him.
The really disconcerting thing for me was that, half an hour later, he said,
"I thought you were her." Here, "her" was Jake's fiancée. At the time, she
didn't live in Germany, and they hadn't seen each other in weeks. Jake's fiancée was
also gorgeous and super curvy, and I am basically a scrawny, little twig.
"I'm not sure how you could confuse us, even asleep." I said. He continued
muttering some excuses about having wet dreams about her. He seemed to
suddenly and extremely vividly remember whatever dream. Nowhere did he
say, "I didn't put my hands in your panties," nor did he apologise.
Phoenix
This is a placeholder.
River
Jacob Appelbaum is one of the first reasons why I became inspired to work on
open source privacy technology, after hearing him speak years ago. I looked up
to him, because of his passion and single-minded drive. I also wanted to be
someone who would make a difference in protecting our fundamental right to
privacy and anonymity. In short, Jacob was a role model.
I didn't know until very recently that nonconsensual sex, by a friend, is
rape. It is for this reason that I am writing this account.
When I became romantically involved with Jacob, I clearly told him that I
wasn't interested in group sex, or having sex in front of other people. I told
him this more than once, and clearly stated that if we were going to be
intimate, I wanted it to be with him in a private setting. He tried hard to
convince me otherwise, but I just brushed it off.
One night, he invited me to his apartment to party with him and several of his
friends. I went, not thinking twice that anything further would happen. We
were all watching a movie and laying on the couch. I was intoxicated and not
thinking clearly, and it took me a long time to realize that Jacob was going
down on me, in the living room, in front of everyone. I told him that I didn't
want to do that, and he stopped, but I don't remember what happened directly
after, except that he kept touching me. The next thing I realized was that one
of his friends in the room was touching me instead of Jacob, and Jacob told me
to go down on his friend. I asked them to stop, however, all of this had a
really long delayed effect because I was under the influence. I remember that
his friend did stop touching me when I asked him to, but then I blacked out,
and when I came back into consciousness, Jacob was having sex with me in the
living room with his friends watching. When I realized what was happening, I
told him again that I wanted to stop. He asked why, and I said that I didn't
want to do that in front of everyone. He did stop, but replied, "well, that's
what we've already been doing", and turned extremely cold. Eventually, he
brought me into his room, but I felt like I was being punished.
Later, when I wasn't intoxicated, Jacob again tried to persuade me to have sex
with his group of friends. It was then an easy no, but it felt like I lost my
value to him once I wouldn't give him or his followers what they wanted.
What is most terrifying about this situation is how systematic all of this
felt. I very clearly understood that I was not the only woman that this
happened to. In fact, it felt like this was quite common. No one in that
situation seemed to be surprised about any of these events, chillingly, not
even my discomfort.
This cannot continue.
He cannot be a leader in this community, the first name that many people think
of, an inspiration to those new entering the field, and also someone who uses
his power and influence to sexually prey on individuals who think he is
trusted.
It is critical that our community is safe for women, and for any individual
who is passionate about protecting privacy and anonymity.
I'm most angry that Jacob has not only done this to me, but other women as
well. I have been told that other women are afraid to come forward, as they
are worried that Jacob will use his power and influence to ruin their lives. I
also share these fears. However, I hope others will also speak out.
I am grateful to the people who have fought to do the right thing once they
learned of Jacob's actions. I have seen how many people in this community are
incredibly noble and compassionate. The Tor Project in particular should be
recognized for how they have handled this respectfully and honorably.
It is these people, not people like Jacob, that should be the leaders of our
community.
Sam
Jake and I had some minor romantic interest in each other when he
invited me to his apartment one evening. He told me he wanted to take a
bath, and invited me into his bathroom to hang out with him. I said,
okay, but I don't want to take a bath with you. I sat down on the toilet
and started chatting with him, and he immediately began coercing me to
get into his bathtub. I was hungover, possibly still a little drunk from
the night before, and although I wasn't interested in getting in, I
wasn't so firm in my resolve because of my somewhat compromised state. I
kept saying no, and he kept asking (while chatting about other things),
and eventually I said, okay, I'll keep my underwear and tshirt on and
put my legs in the water. I did that, and he kept asking me to get in
all the way, even as I told him I wasn't interested. He then kind of
pulled me into the tub halfway, turned me around, and started to wash
me. I was thinking, what the fuck, get out of this situation, why are
you in this fucking bathtub with this man when you repeatedly told him
no. But anyone with experience of Jake's manipulative powers will know
exactly what I was feeling -- somehow you tell him no, and he convinces
you that what you just said was yes. His nonconsensual washing lasted
about a minute or two before I leaped out of his bathtub and started
crying in the corner of his bathroom. During all this, he kept talking
like nothing was happening! Later, he called me a coward for not wanting
to date him. I eventually confronted Jake about this, plus other
behaviors I'd witnessed (he stuck his hand up my friend's skirt with no
invitation, he started drunkenly kissing another person at the bar with
no invitation, he started giving another friend a really aggressive
shoulder massage with no invitation, plus a million stories that I'd
heard through backchannels). Jake kind of apologized and then spent an
hour telling me that the real injustice was that there were people who
make up stories like this about him for political gain. Not, you know,
the actual things he'd done.
West
At a hacker event, Jake kissed me on the mouth in public in front of
others without invitation or any indication of consent. I am personally
very wary of communicable disease, especially cold sores and herpes
(which I have taken great care to avoid). I expressed my concern, and
others present voiced their disapproval of the surprise advance,
especially given my concerns about disease. I do not recall being told
even after the fact that there was no risk of contagion.