Darwin Weighing the Pros and Cons of Marriage or MGTOW

While coming across information concerning Charles Darwin, I was reminded of Jive Turkey’s article Could MGTOW be the Catalyst that Sparks a New Renaissance? Wherein he expounds the notion that some of history’s greatest discoverers where men unburdened by women or societal expectations and how the stereotype of the basement-dwelling-virgin-loser shames men away from pursuing what fascinates them.

Darwin’s weighing the pros and cons of marriage illustrates not only the limiting effect obligation to a woman has on genius but also the serious life-altering decision men know they face when contemplating marriage. He jotted down a rough list of points in which he notes what he thinks he can gain and what he thinks he can lose from marriage.

Here is a reproduction of his notes followed by my comments thereon:

This is the question

Marry

Children — (if it Please God) — Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one, — object to be beloved & played with. —better than a dog anyhow. — Home, & someone to take care of house — Charms of music & female chit-chat. — These things good for one’s health. — Forced to visit & receive relations but terrible loss of time. —

W My God, it is intolerable to think of spending ones whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working, & nothing after all. — No, no won’t do. — Imagine living all one’s day solitarily in smoky dirty London House. — Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa with good fire, & books & music perhaps — Compare this vision with the dingy reality of Grt. Marlbro’ St.

Marry — Marry — Marry Q.E.D.

Not Marry

No children, (no second life), no one to care for one in old age.— What is the use of working ‘in‘ without sympathy from near & dear friends—who are near & dear friends to the old, except relatives

Freedom to go where one liked — choice of Society & little of it. — Conversation of clever men at clubs — Not forced to visit relatives, & to bend in every trifle. — to have the expense & anxiety of children — perhaps quarelling — Loss of time. — cannot read in the Evenings — fatness & idleness — Anxiety & responsibility — less money for books &c — if many children forced to gain one’s bread. — (But then it is very bad for ones health to work too much)

Perhaps my wife wont like London; then the sentence is banishment & degradation into indolent, idle fool —

It being proved necessary to Marry
When? Soon or Late

The Governor says soon for otherwise bad if one has children — one’s character is more flexible —one’s feelings more lively & if one does not marry soon, one misses so much good pure happiness. —
But then if I married tomorrow: there would be an infinity of trouble & expense in getting & furnishing a house, —fighting about no Society —morning calls — awkwardness —loss of time every day. (without one’s wife was an angel, & made one keep industrious). — Then how should I manage all my business if I were obliged to go every day walking with one’s my wife. — Eheu!! I never should know French, — or see the Continent — or go to America, or go up in a Balloon, or take solitary trip in Wales — poor slave. — you will be worse than a negro — And then horrid poverty, (without one’s wife was better than an angel & had money) — Never mind my boy — Cheer up — One cannot live this solitary life, with groggy old age, friendless & cold, & childless staring one in ones face, already beginning to wrinkle. — Never mind, trust to chance —keep a sharp look out — There is many a happy slave —

First, we see the ultimate biological drive influencing Darwin’s thinking: the need for posterity. Men who wish to reproduce (until exogenesis is available) must consort with a woman. Darwin knows this and is also aware of “the expense & anxiety of children”. In fact, he knows that raising children necessitates youthful vigor “The Governor says soon for otherwise bad if one has children”, which he would rather expend on his research. Children also demand financial burden “if many children forced to gain one’s bread. (But then it is very bad for ones health to work too much)” which is echoed perfectly in Jive Turkey’s observation “How many gifted and talented men are working crappy menial jobs because they got hooked up with a woman, had kids, and had to take the safer, less risky route.” But Darwin couldn’t ignore his survival instinct “No children, (no second life), no one to care for one in old age”. Hints of his own mortality rationalizes his decision “One cannot live this solitary life, with groggy old age, friendless & cold, & childless staring one in ones face, already beginning to wrinkle.” This is the biggest pitfall in a man’s life: the struggle against Concupiscence. How many men have been ruined by the pussy? The human desire to raise children places men at the greatest risk.

Darwin expresses the importance he places on his freedom: he doesn’t want to be forced to do anything that would constrain him like visiting relatives and dealing with Society which means the public appearances and meeting with others organized by upper-class women for the purpose of maintaining the hierarchy. Darwin would rather read books and prosper in knowledge through “Conversation of clever men at clubs”. The “Freedom to go where one liked” is not to be ignored by young men who need to understand that marriage (and even mere cohabitation) brings out the authoritarian streak in women and the loss of freedom is quite real “poor slave. – you will be worse than a negro” because a husband simply does not have the right to disagree, he must simply “bend in every trifle” and avoid quarreling.

Darwin noticed how women cost men money “there would be an infinity of trouble & expense in getting & furnishing a house” because, as we all know, women demand a house and yet, when men have to work to pay for everything a woman wants, she complains that he’s never there paying attention to her “how should I manage all my business if I were obliged to go every day walking with one’s my wife”. Instead of spending the money one earns on one’s interests and expanding one’s mind, married men become the workhorses and ATMs of their wives; Darwin even complains that he would have “less money for books”. How depressing it would be to calculate all the wasted potential and self-improvement men must flush down the gynocentrist toilet. He even worries about how he “never should know French, — or see the Continent — or go to America, or go up in a Balloon, or take solitary trip in Wales” because, as Jive Turkey quotes Tom Leykis, women are dream killers.

The list poignantly reveals Darwin’s fear of loneliness “Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one”. This reminds us of Stardusk’s Male Mother Need, in that men dream of a pedestalized woman who will elevate them beyond the depths of pathetic middle-aged bachelorhood “Imagine living all one’s day solitary in smoky dirty London House. Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa with good fire, & books & music perhaps. Compare this vision with the dingy reality of Grt. Marlbro’ St.” Darwin’s vision is exactly that: a hazy mind-mirage that men need to believe in to make life tolerable, “My God, it is intolerable to think of spending ones whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working, & nothing after all. No, no won’t do.”, he suffers from the same existential angst as the rest of us and wonders what the point of obeying an inherently hostile system is if not for some higher purpose. Given the biological imperative, this higher purpose must be anthropomorphized as a female goddess; the picture of a nice, soft wife… But as he who has swallowed that bitter red pill knows: that picture is an illusion.

He admits that marriage is a losing proposition and tries to console himself “never mind, trust to chance —keep a sharp look out — There is many a happy slave —” but in all fairness, Darwin lived at a time and place where people simply got married and could hardly go against the grain. Like so many other men, he tried to make the best of his situation “Never mind my boy — Cheer up” at least a wife is “better than a dog”. Although Darwin, a man who studied animals all his life, must have know that dogs are loyal…

If only Darwin could have met Einstein and adopted the latter’s attitude as evidenced by his marriage contract proposal to his first wife Mileva Maric:

CONDITIONS

A. You will make sure:

1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.

B. You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Specifically, You will forego:

1. my sitting at home with you;
2. my going out or travelling with you.

C. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:

1. you will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way;
2. you will stop talking to me if I request it;
3. you will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.

D. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior.