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STIFU by accidentally smacking my stepdaughter's ass (self.tifu)

tosser1901 が 投稿

So, My wife and her daughter look remarkably alike same height same build, They get mistaken for sisters all the time, well It was a long busy day, and we were at home, and I came around the corner, and saw my wife standing there, and gave her a nice big playful smack on the ass, Only it wasn't my wife, they were both wearing extremely similar outfits. She just laughed it off but my wife is really pissed and hasn't really spoken to me since. I think I'll be on the couch for a bit. (resubmitted with the rest of the story, since I ended without the result it was removed)

Edit : The couch thing was a metaphor, kind of like being in the doghouse, Im' not ACTUALLY sleeping on the couch, We've since talked and she's cool with it, knows it was an accident.

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[–]lizardskywad 2343ポイント2344ポイント  (46子コメント)

I was shopping in a store when I saw my dad looking at a book of some unclothed paper dolls. I very loudly said to my dad, "what are you looking at you perv" and the man looked up and wasn't my dad.

Edit: a typo

[–]NavyDog 696ポイント697ポイント  (14子コメント)

This is the funniest shit I've read all day

[–]lizardskywad 536ポイント537ポイント  (12子コメント)

I ran away from that guy so quickly. My mom was in the other aisle losing her mind laughing.

[–]MufugginJellyfish 195ポイント196ポイント  (8子コメント)

I feel sorry for him, that must have been embarrassing.

[–]Stick_handle_my_dick 172ポイント173ポイント  (7子コメント)

I just imagine he had a long lost son he had to give away because he was too young. The only thing he could Provide for his son was a unclothed doll while the son was a baby. Finally he had to put the child up for adoption. He was in this store looking at the dolls and remembering his long lost son. Then bam. He hears it "dad" but not how he wants to hear it.

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      [–]F0xyCle0patra 312ポイント313ポイント  (1子コメント)

      Im crying, that poor man had no clue

      [–]skinnyKss 166ポイント167ポイント  (1子コメント)

      Jesus fuck. You ruined his life haha

      [–]l_dont_even_reddit 51ポイント52ポイント  (4子コメント)

      I don't know why but pictured George Costanza looking up.

      [–]Roses88 22ポイント23ポイント  (3子コメント)

      One time I was in the bathroom at work when my manager came in singing obnoxiously at the top of her lungs. I said "Shut up!" And got a hurt "Wow...okay..." reply. And it was definitely not my manager, but a customer. I ran out so fast I didnt wash my hands

      [–]utstudent4trump 20ポイント21ポイント  (0子コメント)

      On time as a child, I was on the beach well after dark and I was hiding under a chair. I saw my grandma and sister walk by. I jumped out, screamed, and scared them so badly that they ran. In the midst of yelling "AAAAA", I realized that these people were not my grandma nor sister. I yelled out "sorry I thought you were someone else" as they ran away from me and I turned to run away from them.

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        [–]iDarkville 4621ポイント4622ポイント  (348子コメント)

        A long time ago, a friend and I were at a mall store, just browsing. A random girl came up beside him and distractedly put her arm through his, leaning close, her head resting ever so intimately on his shoulder.

        I locked eyes with him, and he smirked, standing perfectly still. This lasted for about 20 seconds. She was stroking his arm.

        Slowly, her eyes turned to his. He turned and looked at her. THAT look lasted for about a split second before she jumped away with a suppressed yelp.

        Her man came from the other aisle, laughing his ass off. Apparently, he had seen her make the mistake, but decided to wait till she realized what she was doing.

        [–]g0atmeal 4389ポイント4390ポイント  (189子コメント)

        I love how everyone silently agreed to wait.

        [–]omegasus 1912ポイント1913ポイント  (133子コメント)

        it is written.

        [–]capsuleasstronaut 1590ポイント1591ポイント  (116子コメント)

        It is known.

        [–]LightninHands 507ポイント508ポイント  (85子コメント)

        It's written in stone

        [–]Red_Hawk_17 238ポイント239ポイント  (68子コメント)

        Woe to you o' earth, for the devil sends his beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short.

        [–]MyceliumRising 193ポイント194ポイント  (60子コメント)

        Let he who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number

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                [–]stirKrazy11 180ポイント181ポイント  (22子コメント)

                A man has a code.

                [–]TheOrangutan 209ポイント210ポイント  (17子コメント)

                What a cool boyfriend she had not to immediately freak out and threaten to kick somebody's ass

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                  [–]ninja36036 884ポイント885ポイント  (44子コメント)

                  I was at an arcade, I think playing a shooter, when all of sudden this girl came up behind me and covered my eyes with her hands. Gun still pointing at the screen, I had to guess who she was, but of course I had no idea. I turn around to make eye contact and she jumps back. She apologized profusely and then walked away.

                  [–]BigBlueBox12 187ポイント188ポイント  (6子コメント)

                  In high school I was standing outside and this guy came up and smacked me on the ass. I was so surprised (no boyfriend at the time to expect when I turned around). It turned out to be a guy that I was friends with who thought I was his girlfriend. We were all wearing uniforms that day (JROTC inspection day), and evidently we look similar from behind.

                  Poor guy looked mortified. I just busted wide open in laughter, and his girlfriend saw the whole thing and had to sit down because she was laughing so hard.

                  Edit: They're married now, 4 kids I think, lovely couple.

                  [–]kaetror 227ポイント228ポイント  (18子コメント)

                  My GF is forever turning to talk to me when we're in the supermarket, only to shout "you're not Kaetror!" In some poor person's face.

                  I could understand if the person looked like me but it's happened to everyone; best was definitely the little old lady with grey hair and a walking stick!

                  It's like she sees someone out of the corner of her eye and assumes it's me; despite having wandered off without me when I stop to get something.

                  [–]the_honor_roll 110ポイント111ポイント  (6子コメント)

                  only to shout "you're not Kaetror!" In some poor person's face.

                  I love reading these stories where you sub your real name with your username, because that's all I can imagine happening.

                  [–]Vicous 50ポイント51ポイント  (2子コメント)

                  She sounds adorable man, haha.

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                    [–]ty9025 96ポイント97ポイント  (0子コメント)

                    Same thing happened to my uncle in Australia, lady walked up behind him and kinda wrapped her arms around him and said something ludicrously hilarious like "hey big boy, where you been". He's like 6"3" and Maori so pretty distinct features, I'd die of laughter if that shit happened to me.

                    [–]ptntprty 140ポイント141ポイント  (3子コメント)

                    This lasted for about 20 seconds. She was stroking his arm.

                    Hardest I laughed today... thank you

                    [–]incipit-satan 235ポイント236ポイント  (19子コメント)

                    Goddamn I thought that would end much worse

                    [–]Paulo27 188ポイント189ポイント  (17子コメント)

                    Right? Who would think there's some actually reasonable human beings out there. This thread certainly isn't helping that idea.

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                      [–]LGFUADfiguratively 86ポイント87ポイント  (17子コメント)

                      When I was 16, I had just gotten out of a choir concert and tried to catch up with my parents in the crowd. I grabbed onto my moms hand and when she turned to look at me, I realized it wasn't her. I gave this woman a really confused nasty look and yelled "You're not my mommy!!!" and threw her hand down. She just laughed her head off and my parents saw the whole thing. They too wanted to see how long it would take for me to realize my mistake.

                      Edit: I changed a word. Also! This reminds me of this time where one of my friend who dropped out of high school randomly showed up outside (I assumed for her transcript or something for community) and I jumped on her and turned her around. Only to face this extremely confused lady who looked like she was getting ready to shank me...I just apologized profusely and said "I'm sorry! I thought you were someone else!" I don't remember crossing paths with her ever again...

                      [–]iDarkville 19ポイント20ポイント  (2子コメント)

                      "You're not my mommy!" Hahahaha!

                      This concept of waiting to see what happens seems like a common theme.

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                        [–]BoyAndHisBlob 61ポイント62ポイント  (10子コメント)

                        This reminds of the time my gf accidentally sucked my friends dick. turns out we have similar wangs, it was an honest mistake. We have a good laugh about it now whenever it comes up.

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                          [–]velifer 1654ポイント1655ポイント  (43子コメント)

                          I had a similar problem, except my wife has the same hairstyle and same build as HER BOSS, and that day they were wearing identical shirts.

                          I came up behind her as she was on her way back to the office for lunch, had my hand pulled back, and noticed JUST IN TIME it was the wrong ass.

                          [–]82Caff 1166ポイント1167ポイント  (0子コメント)

                          Instructions unclear. Wife promoted.

                          [–]tosser1901[S] 488ポイント489ポイント  (24子コメント)

                          I wish I'd noticed in time!!!

                          [–]high_point 72ポイント73ポイント  (1子コメント)

                          http://i.imgur.com/egich0J.gif

                          [–]Verinio 256ポイント257ポイント  (5子コメント)

                          Should have done it anyway. Plausible deniability.

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                            [–]EBone12355 580ポイント581ポイント  (47子コメント)

                            I did nearly the same thing but it was the organization expert my wife had hired to help organize our closests.

                            I came downstairs where my wife and the organizer were working. As I walked by while looking at my iPhone, I saw my wife in her gray yoga pants bent over at the waist with her ass sticking out of the pantry. Like I usually do when presented with the opportunity, I gently cupped her ass cheek as a walked by, letting my hand graze across her ass and cupping the other cheek as I kept walking right up to the refrigerator to get some juice. My wife was going through a cabinet next to the fridge. "Love you" I said to her as I reached inside the fridge. Then it hit me - if my wife is standing next to the fridge, whose ass did I just fondle sticking out of the pantry?

                            "Ohmygod" I yelled and slammed the fridge shut. "I am so sorry!" I said to the organizer. "I thought you were my wife! You're both wearing the same thing!" I stuttered. The organizer smiled and said "That's okay, I just figured you were really affectionate people."

                            My wife could not stop laughing once she realized what I'd done.

                            [–]throwwayerryday 272ポイント273ポイント  (18子コメント)

                            I did nearly the same thing but it was the organization expert my wife had hired to help organize our closests.

                            This... is a thing?

                            [–]iamsorry88 279ポイント280ポイント  (6子コメント)

                            ... Did you have a three way? That is the next logical step.

                            [–]Pinkie056 104ポイント105ポイント  (15子コメント)

                            Why can't people accidentally grope my ass? It sounds like a lot of fun.

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                              [–]Angsty_Potatos 3089ポイント3090ポイント  (221子コメント)

                              Buddy of mine did this to my cousin. Friend's wife and my cousin are both of similar build with the same shade and length of long, lovely red hair. His wife is generally the only red head around and he walked up be hind my cousin and did a hug/boob squeeze combo. THAT was awkward. He looked up and almost immediately made eye contact with his wife who just walked into the room and you could see the gears in my buddy's head just grind to a halt in confusion. His wife got pissy about it too. Took all of us getting on her ass about how it was so fucking obviously an accident and to just let it go. Friend was mortified.

                              [–]tosser1901[S] 1263ポイント1264ポイント  (72子コメント)

                              I feel his pain!

                              [–]Golf911 825ポイント826ポイント  (66子コメント)

                              amongst other things

                              [–]tnturner 485ポイント486ポイント  (64子コメント)

                              https://youtu.be/eu2OYcgr4rM (nsfbsfow)

                              edit: tag. my apologies. was only nsfw previously.

                              [–]alopex31 432ポイント433ポイント  (37子コメント)

                              Why did I open that at a barber shop full of women...?

                              [–]tnturner 587ポイント588ポイント  (19子コメント)

                              Sorry, forgot the nsfbsfow tag.

                              [–]___MOON___ 181ポイント182ポイント  (15子コメント)

                              This is literally the only reference Google gives me, even with boolean search terms. What does this mean?

                              [–]ijoinedtosay 501ポイント502ポイント  (9子コメント)

                              Not safe for barber shop full of women

                              [–]___MOON___ 298ポイント299ポイント  (6子コメント)

                              Oh.

                              [–]Theoricus 240ポイント241ポイント  (0子コメント)

                              Fucking Moon Moon.

                              [–]LastDitchTryForAName 56ポイント57ポイント  (2子コメント)

                              You made me laugh so hard I snort-laughed and choked on my beer. Thanks for the unintentional humor. I've shed quite a few tears the last few days and I really needed a good laugh and this brightened my day. :)

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                                  [–]tnturner 13ポイント14ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                  You went too far when you went boolean, grasshopper. The answer is under your nose.

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                                      [–]thelesone 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                      That's okay. I opened it when I am home alone with my grandmother.

                                      Edit: and that was after I read the tag.

                                      [–]LastAcctThrownAway 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                      That's a salon, not a barber shop.

                                      [–]ditty305 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                      Run. NOW

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                                              [–]Aussiewhiskeydiver 293ポイント294ポイント  (13子コメント)

                                              Read a post a while back of some dude that did that to his girlfriends sister in a bikini and she reached around and have him a dick grope. Both were pretty mortified about the mistake

                                              [–]shotapus 133ポイント134ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                              Yeah the cabin one. I call bullshit tho.

                                              [–]NotGettingFucked 73ポイント74ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                              Yeah, I read that one as well. Was there ever an update? It sounded like it went way to far to be real. More like OP's fantasy.

                                              [–]ABEW19043 43ポイント44ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                              To be fair, shit happens. I had a girlfriend a while back that looked identical to my cousin from behind. The faces were pretty different, but their body types and hair colour were mirrors. Even if I knew which one it was I sometimes got confused. They were also best friends, so the three of us (and whoever my cousin would be dating) hung out a lot.

                                              I only ever honestly fucked up with it once (A shit ton of near misses), but it involved some fondled boobs from behind and a small amount of grinding(her boyfriend at that time was similar in stature to me). It was only when my junk got grabbed that she realized I wasn't her bf and we agreed to never speak of the subject to eachother again. I'm still curious whether I was bigger or smaller, but I'm not exactly going to ask.

                                              What I'm getting at here is that shit can go awry pretty fast. Next time you fuck around with your SO in public one way or another, just think of how long it's been since you saw their face.

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                                                  [–]randydev 91ポイント92ポイント  (30子コメント)

                                                  My gf is one of an identical twin. So far I've avoided these moments, but couple of times were close. I trained myself in the art of keeping them apart.

                                                  [–]Iamaredditlady 351ポイント352ポイント  (72子コメント)

                                                  Except this is his daughter, and there is a HUGE stigma about step-fathers and their sexually mature daughters.

                                                  [–]kr3ith 773ポイント774ポイント  (20子コメント)

                                                  i don't know what you talking about they seem to be pretty popular on all those naked people websites. they seem to enjoy it quite a bit.

                                                  [–]RangersCrusader 144ポイント145ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                  I've never had a fetish until I finished reading this comment.

                                                  [–]Katnip37 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                  thank you crusader... i dont know why but this is the only thing iv laughed hard about today

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                                                    [–]thaiguy29 71ポイント72ポイント  (18子コメント)

                                                    It's technically not incest though so there's a loophole

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                                                        [–]JugglinB 899ポイント900ポイント  (121子コメント)

                                                        Done the same thing with GF and her sister. Was not popular.

                                                        [–]tosser1901[S] 494ポイント495ポイント  (113子コメント)

                                                        No doubt I mean I was totally an accident, but... At least we do have a comfy couch.

                                                        [–]that_is_so_Raven 623ポイント624ポイント  (17子コメント)

                                                        I mean I was totally an accident

                                                        Luckily we're now living in the golden age of contraceptives

                                                        [–]MajorMajorObvious 86ポイント87ポイント  (15子コメント)

                                                        I also hear that Alabama is really progressive about such things.

                                                        [–]gingy_ninjy 49ポイント50ポイント  (14子コメント)

                                                        And Mississippi

                                                        Source: went to college in Alabama, friends in Mississippi.

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                                                          [–]Miss_Align 87ポイント88ポイント  (6子コメント)

                                                          Did the same thing with my gf and her sister

                                                          gf's sister hasn't talked to me in 2 years

                                                          rip

                                                          [–]PomegranatePuppy 133ポイント134ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                          That's probably a blessing if she is the type to over react like that you won in this situation.

                                                          [–]quartzguy 76ポイント77ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                          Chose the right sister for sure.

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                                                            [–]theFunkiestButtLovin 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                            Same here. At least it was laser tag and they were twins.

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                                                              [–]ConnorIsK1NG 968ポイント969ポイント  (36子コメント)

                                                              Don't worry, sometimes I mix up my daughter and my stepdaughter

                                                              [–]lukelnk 83ポイント84ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                              We (my family and I) were on vacation in WA when I suddenly had my appendix nearly rupture. We were due to leave that same day, and our friends were leaving town so we couldn't stay at their place any longer. So we end up staying with some old HS friends of my wifes. Apparently while my wife was at the sink doing some dishes, her friends husband walked in, walked up behind her, put his arms around her and kissed her neck, only then realizing it wasn't his wife. She thought it was pretty hilarious, as did her friend, but he was super embarrassed. When I came to after my meds started to wear off, he came over to introduce himself to me and I (having already been told by my wife about what happened) just said "Hi, I'm lukelnk. I guess you're the guy that kissed my wife" He just stared at me until I started laughing.

                                                              [–]LordsofDeath 294ポイント295ポイント  (26子コメント)

                                                              We're all sharing similar stories right?

                                                              Was at a wedding with my then fiancee and a dance party broke out while I was at the bar (few drinks in by this point). Get back to the dance floor and see my dearest on the edge of the group dancing. Sidle up with drinks raised for a triumphant bump and grind. As I drew near a random guy I hadn't met before turns and says "Don't do that". Fuck this guy, I'm tipsy and I'll grind on my lady all I damn please. Proceed to begin said grinding, despite his objections. That's when I see my real fiancee about 20 yards in front of us laughing harder than I've ever seen. At the same time fuck-face party pooper takes a few steps toward me and says "Get away from my wife before I have to make a scene". Luckily he was level-headed enough to not just cold-cock me (as I probably deserved) at a wedding. Gave him a few pulls from my flask and all was forgiven. In summary; my now-wife tells this story a minimum of 3 times a year and I found out dude's wife had a taut ass.

                                                              [–]hadda-ask 206ポイント207ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                              At the same time fuck-face party pooper takes a few steps toward me and says "Get away from my wife before I have to make a scene".

                                                              This was a pretty smooth line from fuck face party pooper.

                                                              [–]timedragon1 26ポイント27ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                              Plot Twist: He was in Drama. He was going to literally make a scene.

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                                                                [–]grubernakatomi 130ポイント131ポイント  (8子コメント)

                                                                Gave him a few pulls from my flask

                                                                At a wedding? Was this during prohibition?

                                                                [–]LordsofDeath 44ポイント45ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                ALWAYS bring a flask to weddings. This avoids the disappointment of cash bars, any lines, and potentially awful whisky.

                                                                [–]Km6cow 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                Or the dreaded shitty beer and wine only cash bar. The last time that happened someone from our table made a liquor store run.

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                                                                      [–]yet_another_dave 268ポイント269ポイント  (29子コメント)

                                                                      Did this with my college GF and random girl in 200-seat lecture hall. Took an hour to explain it to campus security. GF still married me...

                                                                      [–]aobtsmn 135ポイント136ポイント  (28子コメント)

                                                                      random girl called SECURITY? seems a bit of an overreaction, assuming you didn't completely fuck up the explanation bit

                                                                      [–]pistolero_amatero 192ポイント193ポイント  (18子コメント)

                                                                      I heard once a story in Finnish radio where the wife called to tell a similar accident. As a backstory there are a lot of community sauna's in Finland that are shared with appartment owners.

                                                                      They were going to the sauna and the husband went to the dressing room first. The wife picked up some sauna-beers and entered later.

                                                                      She went to the dressing room and heard her husband in the shower. So she decided to surprise him. She went in and saw him showering away with his legs spread just so you could see his nutsack hanging. She slowly and quietly walked behind him and pulled his nutsack gently. The guy almost had a heart attack as it wasn't her husband but a neighbour. She entered the wrong sauna.

                                                                      [–]mehbitch 528ポイント529ポイント  (110子コメント)

                                                                      My boyfriend and his brother are nearly the same height and the same exact build and I have definitely mistaken his little brother for him a few times, but the most awkward of which was when I was just going to discretely grind up on my man to quickly and quietly convey the mood I was in.... As I'm sure anyone reading this has guessed, wrong brother....

                                                                      [–]tosser1901[S] 161ポイント162ポイント  (89子コメント)

                                                                      I feel your pain

                                                                      [–]mehbitch 271ポイント272ポイント  (87子コメント)

                                                                      Worst part by far.... I realized I messed up by seeing my boyfriend walk in front of me while simultaneously feeling a bit of a hard on..... definitely weird and kinda gross....

                                                                      [–]Verinio 329ポイント330ポイント  (45子コメント)

                                                                      Don't worry. Getting an instant boner from getting grinded by someone is a completly natural reaction. There is no power in the world to stop that from happening.

                                                                      [–]Dijon_Mastered 168ポイント169ポイント  (21子コメント)

                                                                      Castration would stop it.

                                                                      Just refuting your point (pls don't castrate anyone)

                                                                      [–]mehbitch 57ポイント58ポイント  (13子コメント)

                                                                      Yea I didn't hold it against him or anything, but the feeling of boner AND THEN seeing my boyfriend made for a very confused me...

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                                                                        [–]PM_ME_A_NEW_USERNAME 56ポイント57ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                        Well, the brother couldn't really control it, being surprised like that

                                                                        [–]tosser1901[S] 33ポイント34ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                        yeah, it's an incredibly awkward thing!

                                                                        [–]mehbitch 24ポイント25ポイント  (8子コメント)

                                                                        I hope your wife accepts it was an accident and forgives you soon! Sometimes it's just hard to tell!

                                                                        [–]drysaussiche 265ポイント266ポイント  (23子コメント)

                                                                        hardon

                                                                        ⚪️ a. he has a penis

                                                                        ⚪ b. you have a penis

                                                                        ⚪️ c. all of the above

                                                                        i swear they need to make this a standard form for reddit

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                                                                            [–]drazzy92 29ポイント30ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                                            I would die if my brother's girlfriend ever did that to me out of nowhere. I'm sure both parties involved were equal amounts of mortified.

                                                                            [–]mehbitch 22ポイント23ポイント  (10子コメント)

                                                                            Yea... definitely. He and I talked about it later and it's all good. But that took almost a full year to talk about it. It was definitely awkward and embarrassing for all parties

                                                                            [–]Kobedoe 28ポイント29ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                            If you're hot there's a 90% chance he masterbated thinking about you after the incident.

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                                                                              [–]law_theawesome 32ポイント33ポイント  (0子コメント)

                                                                              My sister-in-law mistook me for my oldest brother(I'm the youngest and we somehow look near identical from behind) once, and thank God all she did was a from behind hug. She put her arms around me and then just jumped back xD

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                                                                                [–]sixtysicx 114ポイント115ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                This happened to me once with my wife and her best friend. It wasnt a smack on the ass, but I put my arm around her and leaned in to kiss her neck from behind. As my face inched closer, I could smell it wasnt my wifes perfume and her friend turned around like WTF?!? My wife laughed it off luckily.

                                                                                [–]msbrou 1156ポイント1157ポイント  (91子コメント)

                                                                                I would talk to your stepdaughter. As I am also a stepdaughter, although I would understand it was an accident, I would be weirded out. If your wife sees/ hears you talked about it/ apologize without any pressure from her she will likely chill out and forgive you. Years from now your going to joke about it, but treating it with seriousness will earn you brownie points. Also I wouldn't mention anything about whether or not what she is wearing is appropriate or if she's pretty for a while. Mothers and teenage daughters can tend to get teritorial.

                                                                                [–]tosser1901[S] 632ポイント633ポイント  (62子コメント)

                                                                                Thanks for the advice, I think this is exactly what i'll do

                                                                                [–]forkmung 1041ポイント1042ポイント  (39子コメント)

                                                                                also if she is not weirded out and is of age, who knows what might happen

                                                                                [–]Jerryjfunk 740ポイント741ポイント  (19子コメント)

                                                                                ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆)

                                                                                [–]Mcfinley 60ポイント61ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                chill out woodie allen

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                                                                                  [–]Damn-- 63ポイント64ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                  TIFU by listening to advice from reddit. I'm now homeless

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                                                                                    [–]RiskyShift 45ポイント46ポイント  (17子コメント)

                                                                                    Why do you think she's a teenager? Doesn't say her age in the post.

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                                                                                      [–]Liv-Julia 70ポイント71ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                      Don't feel bad. My SIL and I can't tell our sons apart from the back. If a mother can't recognize her own, I think you can get a pass.

                                                                                      [–]Artist_1 151ポイント152ポイント  (29子コメント)

                                                                                      Aw, my poor husband. We had been dating for a while, and he came home for Christmas to meet my family. My sister and I look the same: except she's slightly shorter than I am. But we wear basically the same clothes. Anyway, he came up behind her, put his arm around her shoulder: and then realized it was my sister.

                                                                                      We all laughed.

                                                                                      [–]tosser1901[S] 46ポイント47ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                      At least he realized before it was too late!

                                                                                      [–]gugudan 103ポイント104ポイント  (21子コメント)

                                                                                      I've done it, too. My wife and niece were (at the time) about the same height. My niece has since grown slightly taller. But when she was about 13 or 14, she was standing beside me where my wife was standing just a second or two before.

                                                                                      I put my arm around her waist, and rubbed my forearm across her belly and brought my hand up to rub against her breasts. Whoa... these breasts are ginormous WTF.

                                                                                      I turned quick as hell and realized it was my niece. I'd never been so embarrassed in my life.

                                                                                      My wife was mad, but didn't make a big deal out of it like OP's wife.

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                                                                                        [–]uniptf 22ポイント23ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                        Freudian slip supreme.

                                                                                        [–]Xanax0 54ポイント55ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                        I don't know if I was married and my wife and her kid both looked similar. You bet your stepdaughters sweet ass I'd make sure it's my wife's ass first.

                                                                                        [–]TheRealDrMcNasty 80ポイント81ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                                        Tell them both you need a group photo from behind for Reddit Proof.

                                                                                        [–]tosser1901[S] 141ポイント142ポイント  (8子コメント)

                                                                                        I'd like to live to see tomorrow thanks! lol

                                                                                        [–]phoenix_indie 17ポイント18ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                        Slightly different context to everyone else's stories. One time a dude on a school trip was gonna give his mate a good smack on the rear with a clipboard. He lines it up, gives it a good swing and it makes quite a thwack. But when he looks again it turns out it ent his mate. It's the head of biology bent over. She wasn't very pleased.

                                                                                        [–]Shaneofthedead 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

                                                                                        I did something similar when my girlfriend and I were shopping at a drug store when we were in high school. I told her I'd meet her at the pharmacy while she put her prescription in as I headed off to the magazine section. I headed back after a few minutes looking at the cover of a guitar magazine hurriedly and open hand smacked the bottom of who I thought was my girlfriend waiting at the counter. When I looked up to ask "how it's going", my stomach jumped into my throat and I instinctually threw my hand over my agape mouth because it was a stranger. My girlfriend and the guy the woman was with were sitting down in the waiting area behind us watching the entire thing unfold. The woman was flattered I thought she had the "ass of a teenager" while my girlfriend and the guy she was with openly laughed at my horror. That was over ten years ago. My then-girlfriend (now wife) still asks me not to smack stranger's asses whenever we go into a Walgreens.

                                                                                        [–]ShaneDAWS0N 31ポイント32ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                        Why sleep on the couch when you're stepdaughter has a bed of her own.

                                                                                        [–]KentWayne 105ポイント106ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                        Just tell her you were confused because that's what her body used to look like... That should help.

                                                                                        [–]valegor 151ポイント152ポイント  (9子コメント)

                                                                                        Sounds like a completely honest mistake with no need for anger in there. Of course jealousy knows no logic.

                                                                                        [–]AngiaksNanook 27ポイント28ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                                                                        Well - my wife and her sister have extremely similiar names. Both start with the same letter, both rhyme...

                                                                                        I have mistakenly called my wife by her sister's name before. I think I was more upset than my wife was though lol

                                                                                        [–]unimpressedbunny 27ポイント28ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                        Late to the party but I just wanted to say that I'm a twin...so stuff like this has happened to us a LOT. We laugh it off. The first time or two it happened (my boyfriend grabbing her from behind; her boyfriend leaning in for a kiss while drunk at a party, etc) it was awkward but they're always so mortified that neither she nor I have ever been super upset. Usually a nice date (away from my sister, and she away from me) was the best way to make it blow over. Calling one of us by the other's name however...you're in the doghouse for sure haha

                                                                                        [–]sunnyspiders 203ポイント204ポイント  (49子コメント)

                                                                                        Reddit's going to perv out on this one.

                                                                                        Your wife's reaction seems overblown / out of proportion. Probably going to want to talk that one out.

                                                                                        [–]tosser1901[S] 97ポイント98ポイント  (47子コメント)

                                                                                        She'll come around I'm sure, let em perv out, I don't really care.

                                                                                        [–]crankypants_mcgee 354ポイント355ポイント  (36子コメント)

                                                                                        "Well honey, I'm sorry your ass is so phenomenal it can easily be mistaken for a teenager's."

                                                                                        [–]CoyoteTheFatal 39ポイント40ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                        "Oh so you think my daughter's ass looks good then, huh?"

                                                                                        Do NOT say that!!!

                                                                                        [–]tosser1901[S] 128ポイント129ポイント  (15子コメント)

                                                                                        You win the Internet. of course she's not a teenager. but the compliment would still hold.

                                                                                        [–]aslokaa 62ポイント63ポイント  (2子コメント)

                                                                                        I suggest not, what if your stepdaughter heard it. that could make it worse. or you will get some tacky music and star in an porn.

                                                                                        [–]TouchYourRustyKettle 38ポイント39ポイント  (7子コメント)

                                                                                        Family pictures of you wife and stepdaughter ok cool I'll keep waiting

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                                                                                          [–]LittleDaveHedgehog 69ポイント70ポイント  (12子コメント)

                                                                                          "Oh, so you're a pedophile now too!?"

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                                                                                                [–]XoSoleSauce 11ポイント12ポイント  (3子コメント)

                                                                                                The same thing happened to me with my dog.... Now I'm in the doghouse

                                                                                                [–]KoKaneZombie 38ポイント39ポイント  (5子コメント)

                                                                                                Go buy some name tags and hand them to her to see if you can get a laugh out of her.

                                                                                                [–]iReddit_while_I_work 70ポイント71ポイント  (4子コメント)

                                                                                                http://i.imgur.com/pWiKEvv.gif

                                                                                                [–]Sherie_khan 35ポイント36ポイント  (11子コメント)

                                                                                                When did you notice it were the wrong butcheeks you slapped? You noticed they were firmer? Or was it when she turned around?

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