Sorry this is long, unformatted and grammatically lacking. I'm always open to advice but that's not the point of this. I'm not sure what the point of this is, just kinda needed to tell someone. I guess you could call this a cautionary tale. I also know I'm a piece of shit, so feel free to express your ill will towards me but know I'm not proud of myself.

This is something that's happened over the past few months and intensified over the last week. At my work I met a girl. I work at an apartment complex where she lives. I went to her boyfriends house one day to fix something and we got to talking/flirting. She stays there with her 1 year old child, who's not his, she doesn't work, she's in her early 20s and he has two kids from two different women, who don't live with him. She very flirty and even says she's going to rape me. I see her a few times, things are implied, and she's clearly hitting on me. I don't see her for a few months and when I do, she's pregnant again. A Few more months go by and now she's 8 months pregnant. I go over there to fix something, get to her door, realize it's her apartment and almost left to send a Co worker in to do it, almost... I go there and she instantly starts hitting on me and asks for my number. I give it to her.... Keep in mind she's 8 months pregnant. I know, I know. The second I leave, she texts saying she missed me and how good it was too see me. I knew exactly what was going on, or at least I thought I did. I thought I might get laid. Now, I'm morally torn because even though she's very pregnant, she's still very sexy and I've heard lots of stories about how horny pregnant girls are... We end up texting for a few hours, she tells me her bf is an amazing man, takes care of her financially, but she's just not sure if he's the one. He doesn't pay her enough attention and had cheated on the past. The next day she texts me saying she needs something fixed. I told myself a million times not to fuck her but I knew deep in my heart if she let me, I probably would. I fix her blinds and when I go to leave she asks for a hug and refuses to let go. She kisses me and then it was all over for me. I was weak and i fucked her. She's texts me the second I leave saying that can't happen again and not to tell anyone, because she doesn't want problems. We texted back and forth a little the rest of the day and the next. Reality set in and I knew I had to handle this carefully. The last thing I need is a women on a war path, dead set on revenge. I go into full in white knight, beta, mode trying to be as much of a kiss ass as possible. Well maybe not full white Knight, I didn't offer to raise her kids or anything like that. In fact I told her if I liked a girl enough I wouldn't care if she had kids but I couldn't offer anything serious until I got to know her better, much better. There was many other red flags besides the blatant ones I've already gone over. So when I don't hear from her one morning it concerns me. I text her asking how she is and hear nothing for 2 days. I'm worried, thinking the worst, but continue with my life as I normally would. She texts me today asking for something work related and ask that I leave it on her porch. Once again, not trying to make her mad or anything, I oblige. She texts me thanks, I say your welcome. Here's the real kicker and where I'm at right now. I'm familiar with red pill philosophy and while I don't agree with a lot, I do take what I find helpful and try to implement those things. I've also been aware of mgtow but related less because I didn't think it applied to me. Well this morning I had my mgtow epiphany moment, it all clicked and made so much sense. I started thinking back on past experiences and things ex's have said and done and realized just how much it all did relate to me. Little did I know I was in for a big surprise and a major glimpse into the way women think and a major reason why mgtow thinking is so important. Back to the story. I left the stuff on her porch this morning and besides a quick thanks, I hear nothing from her for hours. Well she just texted me an hour ago asking to borrow 20 or 30 dollars! No "hi, how r u?", no nothing, just can I borrow money. I have an idea what to think but my mind is still blown. Out of everything in the world she could have said or felt and after everything we did and talked about she asks me to borrow $20! Not have, but borrow! Knowing full well she doesn't have a job and if she ever was really going to pay me back, she'd have to get it from her bf. The bf she just cheated on, 3 weeks before she's going to have his baby. Wow, just wow. So after I give her the money..... Lol sike!! I'm jk, of course I didn't give her the money. I didn't respond to the text and I'm not sure if I'm going to. I know I'm a dumb, dumb, man. I know I broke one of the main rules to never sick your dick in crazy and I know I'm going to hell. I know I would probably kill myself, my girl and my kid if I was her bf but part of me just wanted to do it to see what kind of girl could do something like that and to gain some insight to why. It's a poor excuse but call it morbid curiosity. Part of me wanted her to just tease and flirt with me forever, so I could go through life thinking no girl would ever do something like. I don't know whats worse the fact that she cheated while pregnant or that she asked me for $20. I'm not mad or sad. I don't have any feelings for her because we'll, honestly, she's a fucking stranger to me! I'm just really shocked and confused. I kinda hate myself and i also kinda hate women now...

TL/DR flirted with a girl who just had a baby and months later when she was 8 months pregnant again, I hooked up with her. She acted like she liked me for 2 days after we hooked up, ignored me for a few more days then asked me for $20. I'm practically a total stranger to her.