Some basic truths that I believe all married dudes on here will come to corroborate :

1- Unless you belong in an extremely lucky 0.1% minority, after 6-7 years of marriage, and especially if you've had your kids, your wife probably has almost zero interest in fucking you.

2- Married sex, when it occurs, it's more of a "territorial pissing" on the wife's side than an honest-to-God "I just want to cum and feel good" thing. Over time, it just becomes their "Hey, we're still a couple, right?" thing.

3- All women (save for that elusive and mythical 0.1%) even if they are porn-star level fucks when you first meet them, will settle into a comfort zone and begin saying "no" more often than yes.

Being naturally alpha but having conceded to the necessary beta humiliations required for a functional marriage, the initial "sexual letdown" (let's call it that for now) can be crushing. Your frustration builds, your attempts at discussion end in huge arguments and the wife in tears and over time, you have major dysfunction, stress and general bad vibes in your home.

That is no way to fucking live. At this point, the true alpha has two options :

A) Either suck it up and go be a full time beta, grateful for his yearly blowjob or

B) Start fucking on the side because this is what is in your DNA to do.

If you have chosen A), it means you've given up and you should not be reading this subreddit anyhow.

If you have the fight still left in you, you will have naturally chosen B). Now you can go the more "traditional" girlfriend/affair route, but it will almost always (0.1% exception rate cannot be taken into serious consideration) end badly, cause friction and long term financial and emotional damage by disrupting your home/financial life.

Now fortunately, the Great Male Civilization has come up with a very good solution to an ages-old problem : hookers.

There is no bullshit, no sneaking around (except on a very basic and easily manageable level) and no fallout/side effects. Instead of being pissed off at the wife not putting out and bringing that frustration home to your marriage, laugh her denial off.

Be loving, be gentle and kind. Treat your wife exactly the same as if she'd given you a world class rodeo. Essentially treat her just like everything's fine and dandy and be super-understanding of why it's not right to cum on her face anymore.

Then book a girl you dig and who looks just like that hot colleague or whoever's caught your fancy of late and proceed to fuck her brains out in some discreet hotel (only amateurs take it home or pay in anything other than cash).

You will go back home to your wife singing. Keep treating her like everything is fine. Over time, the initial awkwardness of the hooker interactions goes away and you do in style, like a true alpha king from days of yore.

You protect your home and you get your kicks at a fraction of the real cost of an affair.

Food for thought.