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Micro-aggression? Turnabout is fair play! (self.japan)

takatori が 投稿

Yesterday my child's (Japanese) school held a "Family Day" event and by school tradition the moms break into groups and provide entertainment (skits and comedy routines) and the fathers break into groups to cook and serve curry lunch.

There are four NJ fathers in the school:

  • American me, 15 years in Japan
  • Turkish kebab stand owner, 28 years here
  • Chinese chef, 30+ years
  • Korean zainichi, born here

Imagine our surprise to arrive only to find out teams have already been selected, and we're on the same one!! But just in case you think we were being singled out, no! There was also a team made up of the four fat guys.

"We thought it would be more convenient so you don't have to worry about trying to speak Japanese," said the organizer I've known for two years and always spoken with in Japanese.

The organizer went up to the microphone and began giving instructions for the event. At the end she singled out the Korean guy and said to him "please explain the instructions to your group if they don't understand."

"Eh?" He turned to us and asked the Turk and I in Japanese "do you only speak English?" Then in English "English very waru... Bad." The Erdogan lookalike responded in Japanese "no, I'm not good at English, only speak a small amount" then in English "smell inglich. Very smell." The Chinese guy shrugged and said "没有. Hahaha!".

So naturally we continued on speaking our fluent shared language.

After a while the organizers made the rounds checking everyone's progress. One of the women I don't know well asked me in Japanese "oh, can you eat curry?" "Yes," I replied, "especially Indian curry, but Japanese curry too." "Oh I can't stand Indian curry, it's so smelly and foreign-run restaurants are always dirty." The Chef and Kebab guy exchanged meaningful glances and silently glared.

"I heard foreigners can't digest rice," she went on, shifting her attention to the Sultan, "is it true it gives you gas?" "Um no, not really," he answered tersely. Dissatisfied with that answer she asked him "Do you understand Japanese?" To which he replied "well, I would like to think so since otherwise it would be very difficult to communicate with customers at my restaurant."

She smiled and moved on.

Another piped up, "you guys should speak English instead of Japanese. We were hoping you could lend an 'international' feel to the event. Would you mind speaking English? It would be great to expose the kids to hearing it!"

Cue a few seconds of silence filled with meaningful glances between the four of us before I piped up and said "sure, I guess I could, no problem! They should speak their languages too?" She looked puzzled and said "no, I meant English. Anyway, thank you!"

We all just shrugged it off and continued with preparations, speaking In our only shared language until the kids started showing up to be served.

"Hi, do you want curry?" said I, in my best NHK English "英語であそぼ" voice.
"Merkhaba, Koori istiyosun", or something similar, said Kemal Ataturk.
"你好，想不想咖喱吗?" said Iron Chef Yellow.
"Mumble mumble haseyo?" said Mr. Park.
"Hahaha!" said the kids.
"Could you speak English please," said the organizer.

"I am." said I.
"Do not," said Mustafa.
"不会" 说了天津的人。
"あんまり喋れない” said Glorious Leader.

And with an an annoyed shrug and sigh of resignation, they moved on to the fat guys' table. "Hey, I hope you saved some curry for the students, haha!!"

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[–]fartist14 181ポイント182ポイント  (9子コメント)

Some people think they live in a TV show. Everybody has to live up to their "character": the jolly fat guy, the English speaking gaijin, etc. People who think like this are brain dead morons, so it doesn't matter what you say, they will never ever get it. You can tell them what pieces of shit they are to their faces, and they will still walk away smiling, because they think it's all part of the script.

[–]Meadow-fresh 26ポイント27ポイント  (5子コメント)

I bet these people think Jdramas are super realistic...

[–]harryballsagna 29ポイント30ポイント  (4子コメント)

You're suggesting a person can't be murdered with a frozen squid head?

[–]takatori[S] 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dang, I missed that episode! How did Furuhara-san figure it out!?

[–]Meadow-fresh 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

How big is the squid? Haha

[–]Kami_of_Water[カナダ] 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not with that attitude.

[–]ace_of_baseface 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shit, so you mean I'm supposed to defrost it first?

[–]sempuki 34ポイント35ポイント  (2子コメント)

Makes some sense, everything in Japan is effectively scripted -- which is why I'm not sure it's fair to say the problem is intelligence: if you assume something for so long and with such conviction, when it doesn't meet your expectation your brain is more likely to dismiss the aberrant signal as noise.

[–]fartist14 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't know about that. I think most people have stereotypes of some kind but are also willing and able to look beyond them and use their brains to evaluate new information. Whereas the people who get all their "thinking" from TV can't really entertain an idea that goes against what TV tells them. My mother in law is like this. Drives the rest of my husband's family nuts, as they are fairly intelligent and thoughtful people.

[–]NerimaJoe 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

There is a kata for these things, like everything else in Japan. There's a prescribed model of behaviour for every kind of social gathering so that everybody meets everybody else's expectations and nobody gets embarrassed. Foreigners who don't care about the kata and never get embarrassed by not meeting other peoples' expectations for low stakes things like this "Family Day" event are bulls in the china shop and Japanese, not really knowing how to respond when this happens, will most often just pretend not to notice.

[–]ShinshinRenma[千葉県] 74ポイント75ポイント  (1子コメント)

My favorite part here is the implicit, yet unspoken, unconscious, even, assumption from all the Japanese people in your story that people from every other country are better at English than they are.

Also, your pseudonyms for all of your other foreign characters really gets at the fartist14's grasp of the automatic allotment of roles. Well done.

[–]svxk 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

@Your first sentence: congratulations to them, they played themselves

[–]neutralcountry 26ポイント27ポイント  (0子コメント)

Excellent story telling, perceptive euphemisms, and witty metaphors. Real funny read thank you. Also kind of boiled my blood a bit.

[–]svxk 46ポイント47ポイント  (20子コメント)

Is no one else impressed this dude speaks English and Japanese but can also type in Turkish(?) and Chinese!? I'm impressed. But I'm easily impressed. I'm sorry. I hope your child had fun regardless of all the stuff happening behind the scenes!

[–]takatori[S] 48ポイント49ポイント  (19子コメント)

Yeah it was a great event! Everyone had a fun time, and of course the kids thought all the other languages were pretty funny to hear, it was just hilarious how the adult organizers so predictably fell into the "all foreigners only speak English" stereotype lol

I used to live in China and learned Chinese long before ever coming to Japan. Am forgetting it pretty badly, so though I think it's understandable it's probably pretty awkward phrasing. Would love a better Chinese speaker to correct it!

The Turkish is probably all wrong, I wrote it phonetically from what I heard. He taught me how to say it, so I was spouting it off at the kids too ;)

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 40ポイント41ポイント  (11子コメント)

Next time:

  • Get the Turkish fellow to wear a fez, bring a gourd, and start haggling with them like it's going out of style.
  • Get the Chinese chap to wear a yellow tracksuit and, gripped firmly by it's legs, have him wave a clucking chicken around while he shouts epithets at anyone who listens. If you can, a pair of nunchaku in his other hand, with one of the flails tucked under his armpit, would be a nice touch.
  • Get the nice Korean fellow to look at things, and threaten to have people fed to wild dogs if they so much as smirk at his haircut. Make sure he offers field guidance to the fat men's activities.

Edit: Whoops, almost forgot!:

  • For yourself, dressing up as Dr. Sidney "New Jersey" Zweibel will fullfil their wildest fantasies of life in the wild west.

[–]SHawks105 10ポイント11ポイント  (4子コメント)

They should do this, but randomize the roles.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 16ポイント17ポイント  (2子コメント)

  • Chinese cowboy.
  • Korean gourd merchant.
  • American ninja.
  • Turkish dear leader.

:-)

[–]baraxador 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Turkish Dear Leader

Pls no

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Turkish Delight Leader, then?

[–]ObsidianG 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

"ふふふふ、your stereotypes have no power here!"

[–]cpt_haindsaito 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

wild west

mild west more like it

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're wreckin' the scene ;-)

[–]djtodd242 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Dr. Sidney "New Jersey" Zweibel

Nice. Are you a Blue Blazer regular?

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nope. Irregular ;-)

[–]timbit87[北海道] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Shouldnt the korean guy just claim every last thing Japan is doing was invented by them before and stolen during the occupation?

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

No, no, no! That's the role of the nice Turkish man, dressed as a Chinaman wild west railway construction worker.

[–]qingting520 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

For the Chinese: When you gave a question phrase like 想不想 then you don't need 嗎 at the end.

[–]takatori[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Ah- haha yeah that's right, thanks!! (*^_^*)

[–]qingting520 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

不客氣！ I am also slowly forgetting my Chinese while living here

[–]Source_Australian 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

Pretty close. Turkish is pretty phonetic in the way it is written.

[–]takatori[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Is it "Hello, do you want curry", like he said?

[–]exemplarypotato 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Nah. You said, "Hello. You want curry." The correct version would be, "Merhaba. Köri istiyor musun?" Close enough though :)

[–]takatori[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ahh-- yes he was saying it with the "mu", forgot that bit Thanks! :))

[–]NurmaKhan[アメリカ] 20ポイント21ポイント  (0子コメント)

God there are so many insistently dumb people wherever you go on the face of this earth. "Fit my narrative!"

[–]yocam 19ポイント20ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well, you have been compartmentalised, neatly and orderly, to assure that there are no surprises and that the Japanese 'audience' knows how to react along the dotted line. No exceptions or spontaneity please. It would cause chaos and confusion, shake up the social equilibrium and cause serious めいわく.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Stab them with the tongs!

[–]torofukatasu 27ポイント28ポイント  (31子コメント)

This needs to be a TV show... In Japan people will watch it because it's wacky, and then we can take it back to the west to point at how racist Japanese people are.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 11ポイント12ポイント  (30子コメント)

We already have YOUは ;-)

[–]DeepDuh 5ポイント6ポイント  (29子コメント)

Do you consider that one racist? I always found it fun and lighthearted. Seems to me it actually destroys some stereotypes because everyone has so wildly different reasons to come to Japan.

[–]takatori[S] 17ポイント18ポイント  (7子コメント)

Bobby's over-the-top fake foreign retard accent is pretty damned racist.

[–]DeepDuh 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Agreed. That always annoyed my about that show as well - I guess I was able to just blend it out.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 5ポイント6ポイント  (5子コメント)

Um, isn't that just Bobby-san's normal talking voice?

[–]takatori[S] 6ポイント7ポイント  (4子コメント)

I have friends in the entertainment industry who tell me that it is an affect played up for effect. He also didn't sound nearly so over-the-top when I met him briefly once.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks!

[–]harryballsagna 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

I didn't see it myself, but I heard his son asked him on TV "Why do you talk differently than at home?"

[–]takatori[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Damn, that's sad: doesn't know his dad is a clown?

[–]reddumpling 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sad... Luckily Tanaka's kid knows his dad has to get thai kicked to bring in the dough.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 8ポイント9ポイント  (20子コメント)

It depends. Sometimes it's pretty interesting.

Other times it's so damned uncomfortable that I feel in awe of just how disconnected from reality the production crew must be.

A lot of it depends on the wild fauna that they manage to capture, but on the whole, you can see that they're playing up to the audience's preconceived notions of how dangerous and violent these untamed visitors must be.

I'd love to see the reverse of this, where a Scouse TV crew ambush a family of Japanese tourists as they stagger off of a 12+ hour flight at London Heathrow, and coerce them into a magical mystery tour of The British Isles.

They will be force-fed black pudding, haggis, Stilton cheese (and maybe some nice Wensleydale), whelks, jellied eels, pork pies, steak pies, chicken and mushroom pies, Cornish pasties, fish & chips (cooked in lard, not oil), deep fried Mars bars, deep fried haggis, full English breakfast, Sunday roast with Yorkshire pudding and everything, eight beers and a vindaloo curry, more black pudding and haggis, neeps and tatties with black pudding, all the cakes, a metric shit ton of assorted bread, some black pudding, choclit, kebabs, eight vindaloo curries and a beer, Yo Below sushi, afternoon tea, and dust.

They will participate in car boot sales, village fetes (including having a go on the tombola), look at Michael Jackson at the waxworks, experience a fun fair's ill-maintained attractions, be detained for some time by the boys in blue because they left their passports at the hotel, have the wife and husband visit Stringfellows, have the kids visit Buckingham Palace, force them to engage in a civil war re-enactment,

I think that the drunk salaryman trying to go the wrong way down the London Underground escalator was the first experimental victim I mean participant in this show; but it looks like the poor fellow was so traumatized, they could not air it.

[–]helpfuljap 12ポイント13ポイント  (8子コメント)

I interpreted for the show once. The crew and the producers know exactly what they are doing. They literally have a list of things they want to find, and start checking them off. "Flamboyant guy", "dancer", "otaku", "sportsman".

They're also assholes. "Why are you in a wheelchair?" is something I didn't think I'd ever need to translate.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

Somebody actually said that? ;-)

[–]helpfuljap 9ポイント10ポイント  (3子コメント)

The producer literally asked a guy in a wheelchair "What's this chair?", "Why are you in this chair?"

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

Gadzooks! I don't know what to say; what kind of answer was he expecting?

The man/woman in the wheelchair should have knocked his arse over, then done doughnuts on him.

Was the producer's grandfather named Shirō Ishii by any chance? Because he sounds like he has some sort of sociopathic disorder (which is probably a distinct advantage in television production here).

[–]helpfuljap 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

Honestly, I was in full work mode and just translated it back and forth, but I wish I realised in time and told him to shut the hell up.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Crikey.

I bet that made the man/lady in the wheelchair feel the ultimate omotefunassyi :-)

[–]takatori[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I interpreted for the show once

AMA please!

[–]TCsnowdream[宮崎県] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yea, I got interviewed outside of the gay bars (which I was trying to get into) and they were happy that I was gay, but I'm not flamboyant. They also seemed really disappointed I was giving thoughtful answers about being gay in Japan... When they asked me what I thought the biggest issue of 2015 was, I mentioned it was the olympic stadium and logo scandal, and how that money could have gone to the victims of Tohoku.

You could just sense that they wanted me to say 'there's not enough hot dickings in this town!! HOT. DICKINGS.'

[–]I_cheat_a_lot 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm not even gay and I reckon this town is sorely lacking in the hot dickings department.

[–]DeepDuh 2ポイント3ポイント  (6子コメント)

Gotta say, I don't quite get what you mean. Usually all they seem to do actively is to choose someone at an airport, ask whether it's ok and then follow them around. Sometimes they help them out a bit, but usually they just observe and sometimes do an interview for a bit. One of the things I really like is how polite they are - every location and everyone on film is asked first whether it's ok. I don't see where the crew is doing the analogous of what you describe - it's not like they take people and feed them Nattou and Fugu.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 8ポイント9ポイント  (5子コメント)

I may have exaggerated somewhat, but it's all in the edit ;-)

Reading between the scanlines, the gay/straight (well, mostly gay, because they ditched straightboy like a hot sweet potato) episode illustrated this pretty well, because every single gay bar they went to turned them away when they asked for permission to film inside. Those boys and girls know exactly how a good editor can put things out-of-context.

Having said that, there have been a few highlights. The naked Norwegians and their pet chicken one was pretty good, for example.

I guess the closest inverse of this type of programme is that one where they go and investigate Japanese people who decided to live amongst the savages. The most touching one was the poor bastard who had set up a chopstick factory in Siberia, of his own volition. On the one hand, he had a pretty good community going with the descendants of Stalin's purges, but on the other hand, he desperately wanted for female companionship; but could not find it in himself to go fully native. They zoomed in on the tears at one point, when he was close to a nervous breakdown :-(

[–]DeepDuh 2ポイント3ポイント  (4子コメント)

The one with the young Norwegians is also my favourite. I think I haven't seen the gay one, so I can't judge on that, I can imagine them having some issues there. I always found YOUwa to be the best of these foreigner exchange shows. A bad example is the one with the Japanese housewives abroad - this one works similar to what you mentioned. "Just look at how bad they have it over there". "Look at how strange these people are". "Look at all the nice things she's missing". Even the gift they bring her usually has the undertone of "we figured you'd be desperate to get these original Japanese goods, you must be starving here"....

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah, that's exactly the thing that irks.

I think that that's a different programme to the Siberian chopstick one, but I've seen one or two episodes of that, I think. There was one nice one where the lady was living in Finland or somewhere near the north pole; they did pretty well there, because she'd already divorced her husband (or left him to die in a blizzard, I forget which), but the cute half-human kid was still there for them to look at :-)

I can't remember exactly what it was she did, but she had a pretty interesting life. There was no way they were going to be able to rehabilitate her back into society.

It makes you wonder though, on the one hand there's this almost compulsive need for them to hear the violent foreign man say how great everything is in Japan; and on the other hand, the compulsion to disregard everything that is not within the borders of this floating world. I sometimes wonder if some people would like to shed the trappings of the modern world, and go back to the time where it was groovy for anyone above the rank of peasant to take your head off if you looked at them funny? ;-)

[–]lations 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

lol, I wish I could give you reddit gold

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks!

Don't worry, I love them really :-)

[–]fartist14 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lol one of those episodes is legendary at my workplace: the TV crew brought one of the housewives some of the products our company sells. She lives in Hawaii and we own a shop there. She opened up her fridge and was like yeah, I already have that.

[–]inubass[神奈川県] 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

deep fried mars bars?

There's no way this idiotic concoction exists!

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

The thing that should not be.

[–]inubass[神奈川県] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

And here was I, thinking this monstrosity could not ever be surpassed

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guajolota

I was so naive...

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't try the deep-fried haggis. I tried it once, and nearly died of an instantaneous pulmonary infarction.

[–]crass_warfare 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

So who's curry was better, Team Stereotypes or Team Fatties?

[–]takatori[S] 23ポイント24ポイント  (0子コメント)

Team Stereotypes had two professional chefs, so, ours obviously!!

[–]RaigekiAKH 46ポイント47ポイント  (2子コメント)

Let's racism!!

[–]iceevil 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

レイシズムしましょう！

[–]thafrenzy[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

レッツ人種差別ing!

[–]TotesMessenger 31ポイント32ポイント  (0子コメント)

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[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

I found this to be a most amusing and satisfactory read.

On the commute in this morning, I found myself nodding sagely on more that one occasion, I can tell you.

[–]rocknokusogaki[ドイツ] 21ポイント22ポイント  (0子コメント)

Love your story! I guess it's the same everywhere when you're a foreigner... in school nobody would like to work with us so it was always me, the Kurd and the Vietnamese guy. lol

[–]soybean 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

I wish this was written in Japanese so that I could share it with my wife.

[–]Immurer 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

How would he do that, since it's not his language???

[–]loulounewzealand 6ポイント7ポイント  (3子コメント)

This is hilarious, really well written. Thought you made it up at first! Now I know why the parents of the two mixed race kids at my school never come to the events. Thankfully (from the limited amount i know of course) the students aren't picked on for their English ability at least

[–]takatori[S] 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

Ya gotta laugh, otherwise you get bitter, become anti-social, and stop attending events ;)

It also could be that they just don't speak enough Japanese and are uncomfortable in those situations, or, for that matter, can't read the flyers and don't know about the events? One of my foreign neighbors is like that :(

[–]loulounewzealand 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

yeah that's true! hope that's not the case here, especially since they have Japanese wives

[–]sendtojapan[東京都] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ya gotta laugh, otherwise you get bitter, become anti-social, and stop attending events ;)

Quoted for truth!

[–]KY_Poster 13ポイント14ポイント  (6子コメント)

Gaijin team, Fat man team....

maybe Hage-atama team and megane-team next.

[–]takatori[S] 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

There was also Country Club Board Member -team ;)

[–]inubass[神奈川県] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Was there a MILF team?

[–]takatori[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

You might read again and find that the MILFs were off preparing activities (and decorations) while the daddies cooked. ;-)

[–]inubass[神奈川県] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This could be great two hour special!

[–]RoundCat 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

Kasai accent team " Hey, say something funny."

From Hokkaido team" could you add some corn and some potatoes to yours? Because you know, Hokkaido."

Tohoku/Fukushima team " is that safe to eat?"

[–]Funzombie63 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Host "at least unwrap the konbini food before serving"

[–]lations 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

A++ would read and laugh and then feel angry at repressed memories of past similar experiences again.

[–]alabrand 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

Interesting story but what is it with Japanese and their seeming infatuation with English? Like calm down bruh.

[–]takatori[S] 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ha I know right? This is an academically strict school, and parents sending their kids here are doing it to get them a leg up, so it's not surprising they want their kids to be exposed to English.

[–]sendtojapan[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Like calm down bruh.

Haha, too true. I've found my requirements for whether or not I can hang out with someone have been boiled down to a simple "Is this guy chill or not?"

[–]_certified_ 3ポイント4ポイント  (9子コメント)

Some things in the post i could "excuse" but the general story here is why my interest for Japan in general have been dropping over the years. This type of mindset is what i dislike about the Japanese. Of course this is very small-minded of me to say too. And i dont speak about everyone, just one aspect of some people.

But still in "mainstream" society it never goes away that you are a stranger/foreigner in their land. Let me put it simply, this scenario (and others ive experienced myself in Japan) remind me of a group of mentally retarded adults in a room... I cant explain it any better sorry. But they act like straight retards sometimes, not saying it to be funny or any type of pun, i literally mean that they act mentally retarded and think like it sometimes too. And you cant blame that shit on anything else than ignorance and a "boxed/narrow minded" mentality And that right there, is what dissappoint me about Japan.

[–]takatori[S] -1ポイント0ポイント  (8子コメント)

Yeah, you'll always be a foreigner. So what?

Is it so different from being a Mexican in the U.S. or Polish in the U.K. or Japanese in Brazil? It's a heck of a lot easier to be a foreigner in Japan than in a lot of other countries.

[–]TCsnowdream[宮崎県] 3ポイント4ポイント  (5子コメント)

Yes, actually, lol.

Being a foreigner in Germany or Canada was waaaaaaay easier. People didn't lose their common sense or turn into walking KY loudspeakers.

An argument could be made that because I speak German (however broken) and am interested in German/European history I get a pass... I also have a host family and contacts in Germany to help me integrate. But I also have all of those things in Japan, too. And my Japanese is better than my German.

Canada is a bit of an outlier since its by birth, but raised in America. But after that, no one really cares...

[–]sendtojapan[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

Are you white? I wonder if you'd feel the same way about Japan that you feel about Germany if you were Asian instead.

[–]TCsnowdream[宮崎県] -1ポイント0ポイント  (3子コメント)

Because other Asians clearly don't have problems in Japan?

[–]sendtojapan[東京都] 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

They clearly do have problems in Japan, but perhaps they get treated as one step closer to the in-group? was my line of thinking.

[–]TCsnowdream[宮崎県] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh, no... quite the opposite.

This is Japan. I've watched Japan-born Japanese kids be rejected by 'the in group' IE; their peers simply because they lived in America, or Hawaii, or Europe for a while and have a distinct personality that is not Japanese. I've seen it happen countless times with returnee students.

My best female friend here had to go to a separate school just for returee students because she was bullied so badly in Yokohama for living in Miami for 3 years and then SoCal for 4 years. She spoke, read and wrote in Japanese just as well as any of them, but she had a distinct "Surfer girl" vibe about her and her peers pounced on her like fucking lions.

Japanese has an image of harmony, but don't ever dig beneath the shiny veneer. Don't get me wrong, I love this country deeply, but it has some pretty nasty flaws...

[–]sendtojapan[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Right, I'm not saying they'd be treated the same as the in-group, just closer. As an example, expecting a Vietnamese employee to use proper keigo, while not expecting the same from a white one. I'm not arguing one is better than the other, of course.

[–]_certified_ 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

I could argue with you for hours on how much easier it is to be a foreigner in alot of other places than Japan. But whats the point.

[–]takatori[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah I hear Canada and Britain are lovely places to love as a foreigner.

At least Japan isn't China, where people come up and touch your blond hair, or Brasil where they mug you, or Southern Europe where they pickpocket you!

But yeah, life as a foreigner in Japan sucks ass! There's next to no white privilege, no women want to date foreigners, we don't make higher salaries than our Japanese colleagues in international companies, we're forced to send our kids to special segregated 'international schools', and we're all confined to slummy areas like Daikanyama, Akasaka and Omotesando. Such bullshit!

[–]kaitybubbly 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is incredibly funny, thank you for making my night!

[–]omae_mona[東京都] 47ポイント48ポイント  (2子コメント)

This post completely sucks as a micro-aggression post. It is missing all the key elements of a Reddit post on micro-aggressions. Your story didn't meet any of these requirements:

  • Protagonist gets looked at in a funny way.
  • Somebody has the gall to ask about the protagonist's country, as if showing interest is an acceptable form of icebreaker.
  • Protagonist knows what that guy is thinking, and it is NOT good.
  • Somebody pretends not to understand a single word of the protagonist's perfect, accent-free Japanese.
  • That guy made a grimace or had a strange noise come out of his throat or nose, while facing in the general direction of the protagonist.
  • Protagonist is avoided by somebody.
  • Protagonist is not avoided by somebody.

OP, you score 0. Failed micro-aggression post.

[–]takatori[S] 84ポイント85ポイント  (1子コメント)

No, we were the micro-aggressors: speaking Japanese and other foreign languages when they only wanted to hear English !

[–]amake[東京都] 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

10/10 would jerk again

[–]REVANCONFIRMED 5ポイント6ポイント  (8子コメント)

I've long come to the conclusion that the Japanese people who treat others like this are, first of all, very very unintelligent and ditzy. Some of them might have bad motives, but I think the more likely explanation is that they're simply fucking stupid.

I'd personally rather be an intelligent xenophobe than having the intellect of an squid, but that's just me.

[–]takatori[S] 8ポイント9ポイント  (7子コメント)

This. There was no negative intent, they just see foreigners as something other, and didn't think.

I'm sure the Chinese and Turkish guys have seen a lot worse than some ditzy moms thinking they spoke English.

[–]REVANCONFIRMED 3ポイント4ポイント  (6子コメント)

Still, the intent is not important. You can go to black person, call him N****, and tell him, for example, "I have nothing against black people, I meant it in a urban kind of way". But there is still the issue that these things carry a meaning unrelated to the speaker's intent, and that a speaker must be aware of the meanings.

Or else I could start calling Japanese people Japs and when they complain I'd simply say, "Hey I didn't mean it, I love you guys!"

TL;DR Being stupid and ignorant doesn't give you free reign to say whatever you want. You can say it, but don't complain about consequences. If you are too stupid to function, check yourself into a mental institution and stop annoying the people around you. (You being a person like that woman, not you takatori)

[–]takatori[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (5子コメント)

Yes, in the examples you give, I agree.

In this case though, they weren't calling us names or being insulting, they were including us in the activity, and even thought it was cool that they had some international flavor at their school & made sure all the children stopped by to say "hello".

All they did wrong was to assume we all spoke English and/or didn't speak Japanese, and thought we would be more comfortable together than mixed in with the group.

I didn't take it as an insult, I took it as ignorance, and something to giggle about: and the other three dads thought it was a hoot to show of their specific nationalities instead of being lumped together as a single "other."

That's how people get educated: exposure. And that's what we provided.

[–]DebitoThrowaway 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

they weren't calling us names or being insulting

Yes, they were. A woman literally stood in front of two immigrant chefs and said, "Foreigners' food is dirty and gross."

they were including us in the activity

No, they weren't.

thought we would be more comfortable together than mixed in with the group.

It's fine that you want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but this is insanely racist.

instead of being lumped together as a single "other."

Except, that's what they did.

That's how people get educated: exposure.

As someone who's done English teaching - as someone who's done the dancing monkey gig for money - I would not, under any circumstances, let anyone do that to me again. That shit is degrading and does literally nothing to teach people anything useful. And let's be real: "Let's Treat the Gaijin Like a Monkey" isn't a new thing for those kids - that's all the JET Program has ever been. All it does is reinforce stereotypes.

[–]takatori[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

/u/DebitoThrowaway

Oh, it's you. Go be outraged somewhere else about something that matters.

We all had a lovely time at the event, and your misinterpretation is offensive.

[–]sendtojapan[東京都] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's how people get educated: exposure. And that's what we provided.

I'd argue that people get educated by being told when they're wrong. Had you said something like, "Yeah, I know we're all foreigners, but the Turkish guy speaks Turkish natively, the Chinese guy Chinese, etc.," then that would have been an opportunity for them to learn something. (Whether or not they took your lesson on board would be up to them of course.) I find it doubtful they learned anything at all since it wasn't explained to them that their assumptions were wrong.

[–]takatori[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yes but I think we did tell them, by doing: we all spoke our own languages. They got their English, but they also saw us speaking amongst ourselves in Japanese and the kids got to see that foreign doesn't automatically mean English.

[–]sendtojapan[東京都] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're far more of an optimist than I am. Here's to hoping that you're right and I'm not!

[–]ProfAbroad 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

You seriously have way more patience than I do. Good job not losing your cool over this crap.

[–]turlockmike[アメリカ] 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

The first question anyone asks me when they learn I speak japanese is 「なんで日本語をしゃべる」。 Which means "Why do you speak Japanese". It never fails. So I usually tell them my story about how we had two foreign exchange students from Japan and how I like Japanese culture, and visited Japan and really liked it. But they always ask "Do you like anime" and so the conversation always ends up on anime. It's quite hilarious actually.

I'm not really bothered by it, but it's a little silly. If I wanted to be passive aggressive I could say "Why do you speak English", but that wouldn't really help the conversation or help them understand.

[–]downtimejapan 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Obviously made up story is obvious. No Japanese would ask Why you speak Japanese. Because foreigners CAN NOT speak Japanese. Jyozu desu yo ne. ;)

[–]Ebefl 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well...could be worse.

[–]Tannerleaf[東京都] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Could've been better, nobody got stabbed with tongs.

[–]snally 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Where the fuck do you guys meet all these idiots?

[–]Towl3r 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Iron Chef Yellow". I'm pissed off that you don't know Chen Kenichi, and i want a curry and i know you don't have one.

[–]Yuuyake 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

if this is true (the read was hilarious, I give you that) then aren't you thinking about moving your kids to a different school? Are all places like this? Damn I wouldn't want my children to be around such people...

[–]takatori[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is a very good school academically, so much so that there are parents who send their child from more than an hour away, and walking distance. Also many of the parents belong to the same club and live in the neighborhood, so maintaining the social order is important. From next year after graduating from this school they will be in international school.

Besides it doesn't really bother me: it's more amusing to see ignorance on display than it is actually an annoyance or trouble.

[–]archpope[アメリカ] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Relevant video.

[–]haveacupoftea 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

我慢強い！バッチリ外国の方ですね。

Whilst I get that you are an obvious social climber, trying to give your kid a perceived leg up whilst keeping bucho happy, I still hold out hope that one day you'll realize the larger role you can play. In this case you don't need to make a scene by just leaning in and quietly explaining why what someone is saying is not appropriate..

Was out with my lad on Sunday. Shopping for a present for his sister. Finished with ice cream in a mall. Some cunt wanders over with "country?" (In aweful English). "He's japanese and I'm not answering"(flawless nihongo) "Country!?" (Still aweful Eigo) Now there's about 10 people in ear shot and when I left what was left of him in a dazed and mortified stupor my son asked. "Why didn't you just answer his question?". Because after 18 years of this shirt I didn't have time for the next six questions about why, how, how long, when leaving, chopsticks, appreciation level for local cuisine or Japan in general. Little man laughed his fucking arse off and lesson was had for all.

But hey. You fucking showed them too! They told you to speak English to the kids and you, er, spoke English to the kids. Way to stand up to the man. Sure you lent an international flavor to the event. Shame you missed the chance to show kids how integration of immigrants can be an absolute non-event..

I would not have wasted my time responding if it wasn't for your other comments and the harmful effect you are having on other impressionable wannabes around here..

[–]takatori[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

What harmful impact? How is me speaking English bad? It's my native language. The other guys spoke their native languages too.

There's some inconsistency in saying that you think Japanese people need to be educated about foreigners and more accepting, yet when one approaches you with curiosity and interest in foreign people you brush him off and complain that you don't feel like dealing with questions.

But isn't that right there your chance to educate? Your chance to tell him that you can use chopsticks and eat rice and speak Japanese and like living in Japan and wish more Japanese people knew more about westerners? And let him walk away with a sense that yeah, foreigners can integrate, instead of walking away with a sense that foreigners are rude and laugh at people who show interest?

It seems contradictory to me.

[–]spoffish 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

OP this is how Japanese tell you your Japanese sucks dog-dicks.

You're welcome.

[–]anonymoussuitbuyer 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Was this in a big city or the boonies?

[–]takatori[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Famous fancy part of a major city.

[–]jaqueass 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

/claps

Let us know when you sell the movie rights, sounds like a masterpiece!

[–]Yaeyama[沖縄県] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Wonderful! I loved it. I hope it really happened like this, instead of you passively aggressively wishing it did. ;)

[–]takatori[S] 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'll videotape it next time instead of summarizing.

[–]inubass[神奈川県] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Make sure to get those reaction shots!

[–]FourthBridge -3ポイント-2ポイント  (7子コメント)

2am seems like an odd time to write this.

[–]takatori[S] 28ポイント29ポイント  (4子コメント)

I was out at the nomikai and bucho kept ordering drinks. What was I gonna do, break wa and leave before he was ready?

[–]dokool[東京都] 11ポイント12ポイント  (3子コメント)

Are you secretly /u/ricky_coin? Snort meth for yes, blink twice for no.

[–]Legal_Rampage[東京都] 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Meth taco dad circle intensifies

[–]Kami_of_Water[カナダ] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

////( ... ___ ... )/\\\\

[–]zedrdave[東京都] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

If he were, obviously his story would have involved the dads retiring to a corner to snort meth, while the ladies cooked up some pot brownies to serve at the event ("life in the Japanese meth heartland")…

[–]Rancid_Bear_Meat 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Any time seems like an odd time to write something as foolish as this (meaning your statement).

[–]FourthBridge -5ポイント-4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh snap (meaning 'what a burn').