全 116 件のコメント

[–]CirqueDuFuder 59ポイント60ポイント  (5子コメント)

Holy shit, this title.

[–]N4N4KI 24ポイント25ポイント  (2子コメント)

It really does sound like something strait from /r/subredditsimulator

[–]i_am_a_human_ 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

My brain can't process this title. Wat.

[–]N4N4KI 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I honestly made my comment and just noped out of the thread. I have enough pointless shit in my head already I don't need to actively subject myself to more.

[–]Arrakis-to-Dune 39ポイント40ポイント  (5子コメント)

Nah mate. Nah. I ain't fucking clicking on that. I'd rather be willful ignorant of that thing.

[–]riemann1413 12ポイント13ポイント  (2子コメント)

sounds like someone is scared of strong, independent women

[–]Arrakis-to-Dune 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your right I do, I like my women like I like my Coffee, picked up by foreigners & sold to me.

[–]ComedicSansI'm more toxic than you 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

A strong, independent woman who wants to use her acrobatic sexual prowess to impregnate one or more lesbians the old fashioned way.

[–]KhristKannon[S] 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

There's nothing visually nude, he just tells a story.

[–]Arrakis-to-Dune 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well it can keep that story to themselves, cuz I don't want anything to do with that abomination.

[–]FuckURedditor 30ポイント31ポイント  (17子コメント)

Has he considered creating a Netflix original series around his life? Because I'd watch the fuck out of that.

[–]KhristKannon[S] 13ポイント14ポイント  (13子コメント)

Followed by a reality show for the ongoing saga.

[–]PM_ME_DICK_PICTURES 11ポイント12ポイント  (12子コメント)

JULIE

[–]KhristKannon[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (11子コメント)

Oh man...

[–]PM_ME_DICK_PICTURES 15ポイント16ポイント  (10子コメント)

He's my favorite lolcow. I thought the whole thing died out a couple years ago but then he goes and maces a GameStop employee.

[–]KhristKannon[S] 12ポイント13ポイント  (9子コメント)

That was the big comeback, but we shouldn't call it that. He's been here for years.

[–]snallygaster 11ポイント12ポイント  (8子コメント)

It'll be interesting to see what happens with this sperm donor thing. This is Classic CWC; when's the last time he was taken for a ride like this?

[–]KhristKannon[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (5子コメント)

There was one I posted a month or two back where someone was producing and selling knock off Sonichu merchandise, and impersonating him IRL and online. It was pretty great.

[–]callmesnake13 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

His half brother is a C-list movie critic, I'm amazed he hasn't made something about Chris because it's a million times more interesting than his writing.

[–]whackamole2 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Cole Smithy is horribly ashamed to have anything to do with Chris. He's a fuckup too. Takes himself way too seriously. Calls himself the "world's smartest film critic" unironically.

[–]snukz 23ポイント24ポイント  (2子コメント)

The fucking music man... about a minute in I had to pause and take a moment to truly breathe because my mind just couldn't comprehend what I was about to listen to while this techno soundtrack loops on in the background like I'm using a keygen to unlock my Microsoft Office 2003 Edition.

[–]KhristKannon[S] 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

It was a soundtrack truly at odds with the story and his subdued mumbling. I like the flashy PS4 bumper at the end, too!

[–]xXSpookyXx 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

The whole clip was like some Tim and Eric awesome show skit except that is Chrischan's actual life

[–]JumbledOne 21ポイント22ポイント  (0子コメント)

That dudes whole fucked up life is just one big "wew lad"

[–]aonome 20ポイント21ポイント  (7子コメント)

Sometimes I wish that someone could convince Chris-Chan to diet properly and maintain good hygiene so he could find a very autistic girlfriend. Then I watch videos like this and understand why it can never be.

[–]serialflamingo 8ポイント9ポイント  (2子コメント)

Can you imagine if Chris did get a girlfriend tho? I'd love to see what kinda crazy adventures they'd get up to.

[–]snallygaster 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm rooting for this so hard, but there's just no way it'll happen. He could be the most physically attractive person alive and still be repulsive on a fundamental level.

[–]serialflamingo 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah Chris is just not sexy by any metric, really.

[–]i_am_a_human_ 6ポイント7ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah I tried friending him on Facebook but he didn't accept me. I got therapy for my own autism a long time ago and I wanted to help him buy a weighted blanket and tell him about deep pressure input therapy. It would help so much with a lot of his problems, like meltdowns and anxiety and shit like that. Once you do good deep pressure input therapy you can finally focus on other things like learning how to socialize better, or even just physically going outside more, but without it a lot of the times the other problems are too severe. Being hyper sensitive to all the external stimuli feels like your body is rejecting reality or something. It's the worst feeling in the world and bled out from a wound once, and so depressing.

[–]whackamole2 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

So many people have tried to help him before. Vivian's the most notable. It never works. Half of them turn troll in frustration.

[–]i_am_a_human_ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ugh yeah but at least with a weighted blanket all you really have to do is give it to him and he'll use it when he's stressed.

[–]callmesnake13 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't think it would help. He blames his autism for everything but beneath the autism he's still an asshole. He's still got high standards for what he expects this girlfriend to look like, how she should behave, how she should perform sexually, etc.

[–]ihavemademistakes 14ポイント15ポイント  (5子コメント)

Chris Chan is my guiltiest pleasure. Just when I think he couldn't be more of a train wreck...

[–]KhristKannon[S] 12ポイント13ポイント  (4子コメント)

Did you see that video he was talking about where he sits bare ass on the cake "Fart Cake?"

Amazing!

[–]ihavemademistakes 21ポイント22ポイント  (3子コメント)

You know, sometimes I feel bad for him. Don't get me wrong, he's a really shitty person, but I can't help but feel that his parents were ultimately responsible for not better socializing him. They kept him out of the schools he needed, turned away therapists, shunned his friends, and worst of all, encouraged his desire to stay a child forever.

For me, Chris Chan is super tragic.

[–]Demopublican 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

In a weird way, Chris-Chan has been super helpful in my line of work. I work a lot with kids of various different backgrounds and we very frequently have kids come through here that are on the spectrum.

Chris exhibits so many hallmarks of autism in such outlandishly exaggerated ways that I know what to look for and can better accommodate families with children on the spectrum. I can guarantee that those signs are ones I'd be completely ignorant of without having been exposed to CWC. It isn't much at all, but at least it's a small amount of good that's come out of his ultimately pretty sad life.

[–]i_am_a_human_ 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

In a lot of cases parent's of children with autism are autistic themselves. It is genetic.

[–]cattypakes 11ポイント12ポイント  (6子コメント)

Chris Chan is a really weird story, like he's the weird autistic guy who got his life ruined by a shadowy cabal of internet stalkers who harassed him for years out of pure sadism. I feel bad for his mom.

[–]whackamole2 7ポイント8ポイント  (5子コメント)

Chris's life was ruined well before they came into the picture. And his mom is maybe one of the worst people on the planet and is basically the reason Chris is like this.

[–]cattypakes 6ポイント7ポイント  (4子コメント)

I dunno dude, I don't think the legions of 4channers tricking the dude into eating his cum on video really helped

[–]srdcat 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

4chan certainly didn't help, but if his parents were any good, at the very minimum they'd have banned him from the internet by now. There's no way they could be ignorant of what's going on.

[–]cattypakes 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lol true. This whole thing definitely could've been avoided if she put the brakes on things when people from the internet started putting signs on their lawn and shit.

[–]whackamole2 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

They made it worse, yes. But he was beyond hope before they found him.

And he wasn't tricked into doing that. It's something he did already

[–]Psycho_Robot 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Autism > AIDS indeed, but fortunately there's enough people without either that nobody ever need choose between these inferior specimens .

[–]that_one_white_girldyke in shining armor 6ポイント7ポイント  (42子コメント)

Someone needs to ole yeller this guy(?)

[–]KhristKannon[S] 10ポイント11ポイント  (40子コメント)

Not yet. He needs to impregnate the lesbian couple first. To rare and unique a breed to die out!

[–]that_one_white_girldyke in shining armor 9ポイント10ポイント  (34子コメント)

Why would they agree

Why would you want more of that

[–]riemann1413 4ポイント5ポイント  (32子コメント)

you watched the video, i think you know the answer the second question

the first may be beyond human reasoning

[–]that_one_white_girldyke in shining armor 5ポイント6ポイント  (31子コメント)

I watched a minute in D:

[–]riemann1413 7ポイント8ポイント  (30子コメント)

i'm not sure you have the true resilience a Drama mod should

you'd think the autism around these parts would have inoculated you for viewing Chris Chan

[–]snallygaster 10ポイント11ポイント  (5子コメント)

Excuse me you ignorant fool, Autism doesn't exist. What you call an autist is a crystal child.

The Crystal children began to appear on the planet from about 1990-2010, although a few scouts came earlier. Their main purpose is to take us to the next level in our evolution and reveal to us our inner and higher power. They function as a group consciousness rather than as individuals, and they live by the “Law of One” or global oneness. They are also advocates for love and peace on this planet.

They are mostly born into the Gold Ray of Incarnation and Evolution, which means they have access to gifts of clairvoyance and healing. They are born on the sixth dimension of consciousness, with the potential to open up rapidly to the ninth dimensional level of full Christ consciousness, and then from there to the thirteenth dimension, which represents universal consciousness.

Crystal children’s auras aren’t specifically opalescent, but are octarine, which is a color that isn’t in the normal visual range of human eyes, but is the manifest color of high magic, and on another color octave entirely. They have beautiful pastel hues to them. To the untrained eye, it appears to be without color at all, therefore Crystal, but the extremely high frequency of the energy field is what gives it away.

The first thing you will recognize about Crystal children is their forgiving nature. They are very sensitive, warm, and caring. Don’t mistake these characteristics as a sign of weakness as Crystal children are also very powerful.

[–]AntiLuke 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

You have the best copypastas

[–]SirNeon 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Now this is quality pasta.

[–]whackamole2 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I googled crystal child and holy shit.

[–][deleted] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would like to see this in a fantasy novel.

[–]that_one_white_girldyke in shining armor 2ポイント3ポイント  (22子コメント)

I can have likes and dislikes.

[–]riemann1413 7ポイント8ポイント  (21子コメント)

no

[–]that_one_white_girldyke in shining armor[M] 4ポイント5ポイント  (4子コメント)

Fuck u banned

[–]hypnozooidToiracse's bitch 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

Actually doing something as a mod? Now you definitely don't have what it takes.

[–]wheresyourbubble 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

So many questions... why would lesbians care about your sexual prowess? Why would anyone think CC has good genetic material? Ok, so only two questions, but they seem pretty important.

[–]too_clever_username 6ポイント7ポイント  (7子コメント)

Who in the fuck would want those genetics in their offspring?

[–]snallygaster 9ポイント10ポイント  (6子コメント)

/u/KhristKannon, CWC NEEDS to reproduce and create a line of CWCs for generations to come. It's unfair to everyone else that only we get one.

edit: *as /u/KhristKannon said,

[–]ComedicSansI'm more toxic than you 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

It's unfair to everyone else that only we get one.

Maybe he'll come back three days after he dies.

[–]fernsauce 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

It takes two to tango, though. Unless someone can invent an artificial womb I don't think the odds of Chris managing to reproduce are high.

I mean, unless someone voluntarily agreed to carry his child to term. But I'm not sure who in the world would do that. You could offer me millions of dollars and I'd still try to fish the bitch out with a coat hanger at the first opportunity.

[–]xXSpookyXx 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The ultrasound tech frowning at the monitor... "It's almost as if the foetus is wearing a medallion of some kind"

[–]Elisionist 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

I CANT HEAR SHIT OVER THIS BASS

[–]theroachsays 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

That music gives a vibe that he has the lesbians locked up in his basement.

[–]SwayCalloway 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

I don't know who Chris Chan is, but if he has diagnosed autism, he's an idiot for even trying to "audition" for donorship. Donor places won't take your sample at all unless you're in perfect health and relatively attractive.

[–]hypnozooidToiracse's bitch 14ポイント15ポイント  (2子コメント)

You don't know who Chris-Chan is? He has a whole wiki dedicated to him, and a category with 28 pages in it on ED. He has actual (not tumblr-self-diagnosed / meme) autism, and has posted his medical record to prove it.

Here's a recent picture.

[–][deleted] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you ever ask yourself where you went wrong? I looked at that recent picture and didn't feel anything.

[–]SwayCalloway -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't know, but more to the point, I also don't care.

[–]KhristKannon[S] 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's trolls fucking with him. There is no lesbian couple electing for "natural" vs artificial insemination hitting up chat rooms for guys to fuck them. Much less likely but still possible he made it up.

[–]Dildoe_Swagginz 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

What the actual fuck did I just watch?