Believe me, I totally understand where you're coming from. Much of the time on reddit, if someone is questioning a feminist or feminist work, they're not really doing it in good faith. They have some ulterior motive, like broad anti-feminism or misogyny, and they're scraping for evidence to support their view under the pretext of "just asking questions".

One thing that's really helped my discourse here is assuming that people are participating in good faith until I have reason to believe they're not. Because most of the time, they are. This is bizarro reddit on so many levels. Hell, this is an example right here. I told you you were being rude, and instead of retaliating as another user in another sub probably would have, you very politely apologized and asked for constructive criticism.

I think many of the non-feminists in this sub are genuinely curious and open minded about feminism. It can be frustrating to have to explain feminism 101 to people, but it's a lot less so when it seems like they actually want to learn.

I kinda need to figure out how to navigate this whole problem.

It's something we as a community are all continuously working on. Please don't hesitate to run a comment by the mods before you submit it if you feel like you could use a hand with phrasing or communication. I do it all the time myself.