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For the love of god....some guy just told me that women wouldn't be able to tell if their own vaginas got looser. Also, TIL, friction doesn't matter in sex, only "pressure". I'm ready to cry. (imgur.com)

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[–]oberon -48ポイント-47ポイント  (21子コメント)

Okay -- okay I'm sorry! I'm already berating myself, okay? I'm sorry.

But I gotta ask.

On what do y'all base your idea about how loose or tight your vagina is? Difficulty inserting a tampon? How it feels when you're masturbating? How it feels when you're having sex? (To clarify I mean "how it feels to your fingers" vs. "how it feels to your vagina when something big is inside of it.")

Because... okay I can't figure out how to say this without being an asshole. Again, I apologize. But I've had sex with women who "knew" their vaginas were tight but, my friends, they were not. Conversely, I slept with a woman once who apologized beforehand for being "floppy" and Jesus Christ I barely fit! That relationship was fucking fantastic.

I'm not trying to say the guy in the linked conversation is right. But I am saying that either women are lying when they say "oh my god your cock is so huge, I can feel it stretching me," or their "feel it stretching" is very different from my "feel it stretching."

[–]Imborednow 74ポイント75ポイント  (0子コメント)

A lot of 'tightness' has to do with how aroused a woman is -- the more aroused, the looser it gets. The vagina expands outward during arousal.

[–]jhennaside 44ポイント45ポイント  (6子コメント)

Conversely, if the woman with the tighter feeling vagina wasn't very aroused, and the women who were looser were very aroused, that could be it right there.

Assuming you're American here- Sex Ed is a bit of a joke. I never heard of kegals till I was pregnant, and I wasn't the most uneducated woman I knew in that department. Women who think they are tight might think so because they don't know how their own body works, and figure that lack of partners means they must be tight, or the reverse.

How do you know? Stick some fingers or a toy in there and squeeze (kegals). A tampon isn't the best indicator - you likely aren't aroused while putting one in. There is also how it feels when a toy or penis or fingers are in there. Does it feel fuller? Is there friction?

I think the part where women are getting irritated is that it seems it's being assumed we have no feeling in our vaginas, AND that they can get stretched out. They don't get stretched out, but the muscles can be weaker. I'm rambling. Hope that helped.

[–]larinioides 43ポイント44ポイント  (2子コメント)

OK, so a vagina's "looseness" or "tightness" is controlled by muscles and friction. The thing about muscles is that they can be relaxed AND tightened. Friction is affected by vaginal lubrication, which depends on arousal, the menstrual cycle, and what's normal for that particular person. Oh, and artificial lube.

So a vagina is not inherently "tight" or "loose" - it changes depending on many factors, both voluntary and involuntary. It may feel tight when one is inserting a finger when not aroused at a particular point in the cycle. It may feel loose when enveloping a large sex toy while very aroused, lubricated, and emotionally relaxed.

Also it's possible your sex partners are just saying your dick is stretching them out because men like to think their dicks are big. Perhaps your dick is not very big. In the grand scheme of things, the sun will envelop the earth in several billion years and it will be as if your dick, which is mind-bogglingly tiny in comparison to planets and stars, had never existed.

[–]prettylittlehead 29ポイント30ポイント  (1子コメント)

your dick, mind-bogglingly tiny in comparison to planets and stars

Now I want to say this to guys who brag about their dick size.

[–]thebondoftrust 28ポイント29ポイント  (0子コメント)

Basing your view of women's knowledge of their own bodies on the insecurities of women you've slept with is just a bad idea all round.

[–]VerdePatate 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

I wouldn't really say dirty talk is lying. But I also would not stand by the factual accuracy of anything I say during sex. Women actually do know their own anatomy best. Those same women might find the excitement of dirty talking worth stretching the truth.

[–]nekkid_and_famous 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Here's an article that may interest you:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201109/the-rare-truth-about-tight-and-loose-women

Also, I get that you're just asking questions. I do. But maybe don't imply that women are lying when they tell you about their own bodies. They're not trying to deceive you by telling you if they're tight or not.

[–]vacuousaptitude 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Did you possibly consider that your dick is not a tool to accurately measure how 'tight' something is, especially a woman's vagina that can literally change size and can produce a lot of lubricating fluids during sex? Why is being 'tight' even a thing to think about at all? It's such a strange metric to judge. Is her vagina falling out or rattling around up in there? No? It doesn't seem terribly loose then.

If you actually get a girl aroused you'll probably feel very little friction. To give you a sort of parallel example that isn't exact but you can get what I'm saying. Let some saliva build up in your mouth, coat your fingers with it pretty thoroughly, then rub them against the inside of your cheek. You're not going to feel a whole lot of friction there, but it isn't because your cheek is 'loose.' The vagina is also a mucous membrane. The fluid isn't the same but the tissue is a bit similar as is the environment.

Hopefully this can be a lesson. It isn't that women 'don't know' about the characteristics of their own anatomy, it is that you are making a subjective judgement based on measurements collected with the wrong type of equipment with no consideration or understanding of the environment or conditions.

[–]zuppaiaia 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Being muslces, I base my sensation exactly on what I base my sensations for other muscles. It's just less clear than, say, an arm or a foot. It's like your abs or your back muscles, you know more or less if they're tight or loose, right? If my muscles down there are relaxed, you could fit a bottle, if they're not, not even a pencil. It's a part of our body, we feel it. Maybe the girl who said to be floppy, usually was tighter, and vice versa, the other one was usually looser. All vaginas have different sizes. It's simply different and very personal. This are my two cents, after all, I'm also a person who has a biiiiiiiiig sensitivity related to her body (I don't have a belly ache, I can tell you which section of my fucking crass intestine hurts, and so on, and I was surprised when I was told this is not the common rule), so maybe it's different for other women, but yes, we're all different and maybe those two women were used to other situations.

[–]BundleOfHiss 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm actually very disappointed to see how many downvotes you're getting. Ostensibly this sub is supposed to be about learns and not just making fun of people.

Mods, we really should have a rule that posts must have a comment from the OP stating why something is bad anatomy, just like most other subreddits in the badpire, to help set the tone and hopefully raise the level of discourse.

[–]Calm your private cupsNowThatsAwkward 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ostensibly this sub is supposed to be about learns and not just making fun of people.

Is it? I've never seen a post or sidebar suggesting that in any way, shape, or form.

People sometimes indulge questions in the comments, but of course people are far less likely to offer their time and patience when someone comes in saying that they know women's anatomy better than women do. That's not a good faith conversation starter.