tl;dr Is love a BP delusion? Do we only get to choose between a BP love or RP sex life?

We know emotional guys finish last, so is killing your emotions the only sexual strategy worth pursuing? Are our mothers the only female we can show emotions to since they love us unconditionally?

Like most BP men unplugging for the first time, I saw RED when I first heard about the concepts of the Red Pill. Surely I didn't waste my life over a lie.

I first saw Sandman's MGTOW videos and devoured them. Since I watched them in reverse order, his videos got angrier as I got angrier. I finally came across MRP when I started cooling down. I never even used Reddit before I came across this community.

I had my life planned out according to my beliefs, religious and BP: Go to school, go to Sunday school, don't have kids before marriage, don't do drugs, no touching or fornication, kick ass in college with honors, get that awesome job in finance, and get married to an honorable wife to live with happily ever after. Like the Prince in Cinderella.

Everything was going as planned with no deviation. I was a man with a mission. And I was about to get (set up to get) married.

I never so much as TOUCHED myself, much less touched a woman, I was so disciplined (fuck you Micheal, abstinent for 12 years... I was surrounded by anorexic korean high school girls and swimsuit model sluts in finance every day). And I saw those women on the CC all my life, but my wife would surely be honorable, NAWALT, especially ours.

I'm sure the RP in you will breath a sigh of relief when I tell you my life exploded just at the cusp of that last step. I had a medical issue that forced me to temporarily retire just before I bit that bullet. The interviews were lined up, but I was out of commission.

Recently, I'm finally back in the game, ready to follow through on my meticulous plans, ready to pick up where I left off.

And BAM, I choke on the RP.

I hadn't come so close to crying bitter tears since I came across a box with a litter of abandoned kittens on a mountain side road on a Japanese island with one of them already a dried up corpse; a manly tear was shed then.

I never got to LJBF because I never looked at girls that way but still acted the BP shoulder to cry on. I rationalized that even if in the worst case my girl was like this in HS/College/Work, surely she would have it out of her system at least. My sunk costs were not worth a manly tear, I will get over this. That kitten is still dead and I hope the animal shelter found homes for its siblings. I'm sure there were plenty of cat ladies in Japan to house them. Surely. AWALT?

I digress.

I lived such a disciplined life for a Disney Movie romance payoff and for what?

If you live as the romantic, you will get cheated on or divorced.

If you live as the player, you will never love like how we were promised when we were kids. Also you will go to hell, and no woman is worth that.

RP, not my STEM/liberal education, was the only thing that ever managed to shake my faith and tempt me with the debauchery allowed with atheism/agnosticism.

Fortunately (in my view at least), I overcame that test and the last pillar of my worldview is still intact. At least I don't feel like life was such a waste; women were never part of it, my honorable wife was the last milestone before having a football team of children.

I don't think I have it in me to live the PUA/RP plating lifestyle and fornicate. And you guys are vehement about boycotting marriage.

Even if the RP broke my BP social conditioning, I still have my faith that was unshakable even after years of the Progressive narrative.

I lived my misguided life without sexually or romantically becoming involved with women. It is easy to ignore those transient temptations when you are so focused at looking far in the distance to a promised heaven. That's what unshakable faith lets you do, but then I had unshakable faith in the BP lifestyle. I don't think I can take another hit like that and make it to the other side.

I refuse to marry someone I have to babysit my whole life without selling my soul and becoming BP again. I never needed a woman my whole life, why waste time now. I can fornicate all I want in heaven. Especially that Korean girl I crushed on from high school, I will fornicate the Christ out of her, oh yes I will...

...Since gays are born like that, someone figure out a genetic therapy to spread it so I at least have an excuse for why I'm turning away women now. I've been able to hold back my thirst so far because of my previous BP convictions.

Inculcating the RP seems to be a good tool to inoculate myself from my thirst for the droves of fornicators I will soon be immersed in again. But if you build it, they will come...

I have come to accept that marriage/monogamy is simply the mechanism to prevent anarchy. You cannot have a productive society where alphas hog most women and betas spend all of their time fighting over the scraps. Look at how brutal elephant seals are about it. Tesla and Isaac Newton were betas that were probably MGTOW (or closeted, who knows).

I have also come to accept that we can't put the genie back in the bottle. Feminism (and maybe abortions and increasing crime rates) is a symptom, not a cause, of birth control. Women will only act as bad as men let them. I think the VR tech coming out will give these entitled spoiled snowflake princesses a taste of their own medicine when 8's become the new 5's because boys grow up immersed with digital 10's. Let them fight over the few men willing to put up with them while boys grow up with the self confidence from an AI that will validate you, suck you phallus and be your ever loyal companion.

Gardevoir, I choose you! Or Albedo... you sick, sick heathens.

Now that I've finished rambling, and gotten my disappointment off of my chest, I'll get to what I'm getting scared about.

I originally came to MRP in the hopes that I would find a way to enter into a marriage that would still achieve my goals, but would somehow sidestep the RP arguments against it. But I agree with all of you that the legal environment in the West is toxic for men to engage in the luxury of marriage. If I wasn't so steadfast in my religious beliefs, I would go all DGAF and fornicate the city red.

The further I read through the sidebar, the deeper the pit in my stomach feels. The more I read, the more I realize that WE are the more romantic sex. We create romance and the women we love are entitled to consume it.

Lurking in RPW and RPWi didn't help either. I feel like its only unicorns in there at best, disingenuous AWALTs at worst.

So the inescapable conclusion that the sidebar is leading me to is that marriage will ALWAYS be work for us. You will always HAVE to be the captain. You will ALWAYS have to maintain frame. You will have to kill your emotion and stop mate guarding.

I will not Verba. Her frame is the mind-killer. I will face her frame. I will let it pass through me.

My mind is telling me "Fuck that, get wingsuit certification while continuing to ignore women and go MGTOW Monk."

We will never have the kind of love where you can be vulnerable. We will never enjoy a woman's right to cry. We can never show the kind of weakness where you spoil your girl and she's your whole world. Women will not love us unconditionally like in all those RomComs that conditioned the BP into me.

Because AWALT. Hypergamy wins over agency. Women always be the most responsible teenager in the house. The sexes aren't equal and blame biology for why men value virgins but women don't, its not a social construct.

Feminism is the best thing that happened to men. It lets the players fornicate in the open and lets former BP men like me easily identify how none of these women are honorable enough to marry. We've passed the turning test men, lets get to coding.

Because AWALT. All guns are always loaded. You disingenuous snowflakes.

You sluts broke my heart. Don't touch me.

I wish Walt Disney really was a zombie so I could smoke that fucker up his ass for the bullshit he put in my head.

I wish I never came across RP. I hate what you people did to me. I hate what they did to us more.

The truth can only set you free.

Lift. Own your shit. Only you can make yourself happy.

Christ I wish I could get drunk like you heathens. I want my donuts back.