全 12 件のコメント

[–]blushinglillyMarried 5 ys, Early 30s 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm starting to get paranoid about the effect of chairs on my marriage now.

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is common behaviour when their previously underground plots are brought to public awareness. The International Bureau of Chairs And Their Role In Relationships highly suggest that all humanoids of a marriageable age dispose of their chairs in order to preserve our race and ability to repopulate before they succeed in their plot to destroy all relationships, ergo humanity.

You have been warned.

[–]DemonDigitsLate 20s, LTR, 2 yrs 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

How did you learn to respect that boundary!? I'm like a cat in that if you have a lap, you're obviously inviting me to use it. :)

I'm letting my chairs live for now, since they are a main source of laps in this household. But I'm keeping my eye on them just in case they start giving the lap-wielder any ideas.

[–]eliza_schuylerEarly 20s, engaged, 3yrs 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm exactly the same!!! Luckily we don't have any chairs, just a very comfy couch :)

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lap-Wielders should not be allowed to have ideas...you see how that was my first mistake.

Haha but in all seriousness, um it was really hard! Especially because it isn't just chairs. We don't cuddle much during sleep either and he doesn't like prolonged touching of any sort lol. It's really hard because I'm all physical touch and I do still have meltdowns if I go too long without being held or something...wish I was making that up but unfortunately no, hahaha.

On the flip side, he tries to be aware of how important it is to me and usually does a good job. He invites me into his chair once he's enjoyed it for a while, and actually does that a lot. We also cuddle now right before sleep but then shwoop away from each other for the rest of the night...I've actually learned to appreciate that one because I have to admit, the quality of my sleep is way better if I can be undisturbed on my back instead of contorted to him.

The other thing is HB is an addict in every aspect of life. He's the kind of person who can get addicted to non-addictive substances (shopping/gambling/etc). He's incredibly mindful of this and limits his consumption of anything -- coffee, alcohol, etc. and I can honestly say he has a really good handle on it that I fully trust. Now I swear this plays into the touching thing really significantly -- which is that he gets addicted to routines (waking up at the same time, commuting at the same time, etc). Since we are semi-LDR, it actually makes a big difference in how we interact. Before we were LDR he was much more affectionate because it was regular. Now he isn't used to be touched and he will actually jump when I touch him, even if we are talking face to face and he saw me move my hand. It's bizarre, I know. So I'm actually really confident when his work schedule calms down we will be more touchy and loveydovey once he is used to (addicted to) me being a routine part of his day.

That's a really odd part of his personality that I know a lot of people would struggle with in their own partners. There's a reason we don't advocate dating addicts. In HB's case, fortunately incredibly self-aware (he's one of those people who can tell exactly what food his body needs and how much to make himself feel a certain way or get better if he's sick) so he makes it easy to work with and trust. But overall it's definitely one of the bigger gaps in communication styles we have to manage and it does get difficult at times.

[–]IrisandoleanderLate 20s | Married 2015 | together since '08 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

That picture! I have had it pinned on Pinterest forever! Love it. It's so sexy and romantic.

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

HAHA! I just googled "couple in chair" ...or maybe it was "woman love raping protesting man" because that's what it's called in my house d:

[–]VintageVee27f, LTR 1yr - HLH 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Laughed so hard I woke the kids up. You're hilarious, BSC! I will be aware of chair situations!

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hahaha I'm glad I could be of service d: I was reading all the chair field reports like "wow I'm so glad we've never had an issue with cha----OH MY GOD REPRESSED MEMORIES COME SCREAMING BACK"!

But yes, when it comes to chairs just remember your basic chair-conflict avoidance training: SIT

Smash any chairs to pieces, when possible
Identify any threats, and avoid if they cannot be smashed
Teach your children chair-relationship responsibility to prevent conflict at the source

You're going to make it. We're all going to make it.

[–]CoochQuarantine 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Rule one of the chair: you do not talk about the chair.

Rule two of the chair: you do not talk about the chair.

We are all breaking rules one and two. Haha.

Personal space is soooo important. I was actually thinking about how a hug or a small kiss on the cheek can brighten up my day by a factor of 20. But there are certain personal space boundaries I don't cross. Bathroom time aka toilet chair. While he's eating. Aka kitchen chair. Napping. Aka the bed chair?? Thank you for this. So funny bsc.

[–]BeautifulSpaceCadet[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Bathroom time aka toilet chair. While he's eating. Aka kitchen chair. Napping. Aka the bed chair??

Oh. My. God. The problem is more pervasive than we first realized...Olympus has fallen.

[–]OrganicSproutMid 20s | Trying to date 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Entertaining and informative! Very nice.