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Hard no on Round2 (Ding!) (self.marriedredpill)

fakefalseMarried が 投稿

I was brought back down a peg last night. But there are positives to it, that is only sinking in this morning.

Things have been going great. Sex is up. Compliance on her part has been excellent. I've been dishing out morcels of beta support when I felt she needed it. BJs have been a real measuring stick for me. She swoles me often. I'm getting attention and compliments on my physique in front of her. So good stuff.

Now I know she's in the PMS window. So I've been measuring her behavior with that in mind. I actually look forward to shark week, cause i know I'll be getting focused BJs and cum in her mouth. But last night was a bit of a bump for me.

We are about to have sex. I like the light on. She always resists due to her body insecurity. I always push cause I like seeing her. This time she is sharp about it. I whip out my dick, and direct her to blow me. She makes comment "wow, you are high maintenance." This irks me. She is arguing that I've been spoiled with too many BJs lately. True, I'm getting lots. So lets get lots more. I tell her my new bod requires daily maintenance with a cocky grin. She goes at it and then i fuck her good, grab a drink of water. I come back, still a bit miffed about her behavior and decide to play with it a little and guage deeper. I start moving in for a second round. I get a NO.

Now i never go for a second round. Mothers day was a first. I fucked her in morning then pushed for BJ in evening. That was awesone. I felt good. My testosterone is growing with my lifting. Great measuring stick. So tonight is another example of this. But she gets cold with me. I push through the soft no. She asks "are you kidding me? " to which i laugh. It was gutteral and heavy. The echo off the walls startled me. I'm still moving in and she goes HARD NO.

Staring at her with a neutral expression, she blurts "I'm satisfied". I bark a laugh again saying, and if I'm not? She asks if I'm kidding. I laugh again. I'm actually finding this funny. She asks why I'm laughing. I ask her "you don't find this funny?" The situation is satiracle to me. She is dubstruck. So I shake my head in condisending disappointment maintaining a smile, roll over and fell asleep. I was not butt hurt. I knew I would eventually get what I want, just as I have with everything else. And if not with her, then the relationship is not conducive to my needs and I'll have to move on. Easily said, but fundamentally true.

So. I'm excited now. I'm getting physically attractive and I know through social proof that I'm awesome, besides, I really like me. My requirements are climbing and I'm unapologeticly stating my expectations. This isn't going to happen overnight and yes I will have to work to get it. Just as I have this far. But proof of concept has been realized, I've simply pushed the maker further into her territory.

What's next. I need to maintain current levels of awesomeness. Keep at the gym and improving myself. My social activities have waned the last 2 weeks because of family member illness. This would have contributed to her shitty attitude toward me last night. But I'm back in the saddle and planned my weekend thick. In fact, i was debating to keep saturday night open so i could spend time with her, but this incident helped remind me that she didn't quite earn it.

This report is a bit of a ramble, but it was important for me to share.

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[–]UEMcGillMarried- MRP MODERATOR 14ポイント15ポイント  (6子コメント)

Compliance and attraction are not the same things. It sounds like she's been a dutiful wife giving you what you demand, and when she felt like she had given you enough she communicated with you first covertly, "Are you kidding me?" then she moves into overt communication of "I'm satisfied"

Don't confuse this as a move to attraction. She's feeling the dread for sure, but right now it seems like shes just doing it because she has to.

When you wake up in the middle of the night and she's already riding you, that's when it's an attraction thing.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR 6ポイント7ポイント  (3子コメント)

Compliance and attraction are not the same things

/u/jacktenofhearts writes about this- 4 different places your MAP can take you- 1 of them is a sexually satisfied wife who does whatever you want so you are also satisfied. However, another is a place where your wife only fucks you because of fear, not because of genuine desire.

TLDR: Work on attraction, not Dread at this time.

[–]druganswerUnplugging 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is where I have brought up over and over again different "types" of dread. I had a back and forth with jtoh on this quite a while ago and he definitely didn't agree with me at the time. Fuck me or fuck you type dread or even setting expectations for marriage will induce "dread" (I would technically call it something else... because to me this isn't what TRP gets at with dread)

"My husband leaves for 3 hours when I reject him for sex." is quite different than "That girl is talking to him? Who the fuck is she? She has to be 10 years younger than he is! I wonder what she said? She must have just been asking him a question. I wonder if he'll say anything about the conversation when he gets back." One provokes her rational brain to fear losing you and "do the work" that it takes to keep you, but do NOT get this confused she STILL considers it work. The other hits the lizard brain and her body triggers her to desire you because she instinctively knows she needs to mate guard.

[–]fakefalseMarried[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is a new piece of info for me. I'm going to delve into this and wrap my brain around the idea.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

When you wake up in the middle of the night and she's already riding you, that's when it's an attraction thing.

Genuine desire is the ultimate goal in my mind. for the husband and wife to feel for each other after 10 years the way they did after 10 days.

When the touch is still like lightening, when you are kissing her and it feels intense and passionate like when you first kissed her, when she wants to fuck you and can't keep her hands off your body the same for you towards her - when that genuine desire is there, life is fucking great.

[–]fakefalseMarried[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is good info and new direction for me. I'm going to read more on this and shift my mindset.

[–]TheFamilyAlphaPro-Masculine Evangelist 13ポイント14ポイント  (6子コメント)

I'm getting attention and compliments on my physique in front of her.

How?

cause i know I'll be getting focused BJs and cum in her mouth.

Is this just about the sex?

She always resists due to her body insecurity.

What have you done to help her with this?

So lets get lots more

So you made some progress and became a demanding bitch? What kind of leadership is that, do you think it reinforces her to wanting to give you more? I doubt it. she sees how you act when you get a few blowjobs, why in the hell would she open up to more?

It was gutteral and heavy. The echo off the walls startled me.

What?

So I shake my head in condisending disappointment

Faggot

And if not with her, then the relationship is not conducive to my needs and I'll have to move on

Let me be clear.

Sex is up, blowjobs are up and you're saying shit like this?

This is your fucking wife why not build a relationship that is conducive to growth and enjoyment for both parties of the marriage!?!

This would have contributed to her shitty attitude toward me last night

You said she was PMSing, know when to push and pull.

but this incident helped remind me that she didn't quite earn it.

You do you - but you seem like a fuck. Also, use Spellcheck

[–]over60_stupid_lonerRP S.O.B. 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks TFA, this describes, very accurately, what I was thinking as I read this post.

[–]JDRoedell 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Ya, if I was getting blowjobs this often and unsolicited like this I would be seeking to reinforce the good behavior.

...like two bags of skittles on Valentine's Day. Something reeeeaaal nice. (Think uncle Eddie from national lampoons)

[–]over60_stupid_lonerRP S.O.B. 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I love (giving) skittles…...

[–]FlosCarmeli 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

100% this, so much.

[–]fakefalseMarried[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Harsh. This is not askMRP, so I was bracing myself for that sting. Thanks for taking the time and saying it.

I'm hearing about level2/level3 now. Obligation vs Want. I'm using dread tactics and using manipulation to steer her toward what i want. My focus is still on her, instead of on myself. Things are better, but I'm still stuck in my head.

I'll read up more on this latest revelation, thanks.

[–]alphabeta49MRP-APPROVED 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

To piggyback on the other comments... I wrote this awhile back. It speaks to the compliance/attraction dichotomy you're dealing with. Its great that you say that you're not butthurt and all, but I don't believe you. It still stings that you know, deep down, she's only fucking you out of obligation.

If you've been around here for long, you know what you need to do.

[–]fakefalseMarried[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The replies here have introduced me to level2/level3 subject. I'm stuck between the two. I'm going to have to read on this matter.

Want vs Obligation

[–]fakefalseMarried[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm hearing this from everybody here. This is s new angle for me. I'm going to read up on this starting with your link. Thanks man.

[–]spexerMRP APPROVED 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm actually finding this funny. She asks why I'm laughing. I ask her "you don't find this funny?" The situation is satiracle to me. She is dubstruck.

You have reached the point where you are no longer acting - welcome!

[–]il-est-ressusciteMRP APPROVED 1ポイント2ポイント  (4子コメント)

Doggerel. That's what this is. I'm sorry to tell you but it's less than a bit of a ramble. I remember you and your quivering lower lip when your daughter said something mean about you when you took her phone away.

I'm certain that somehow, your wife will tolerate the deprivation brought on by your absence on Saturday night just fine. I doubt she is yet to the point where she will be worrying about how to "earn it" for next weekend.

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

Doggerel.

Sometimes, you make me look things up.

I applaud you.

[–]over60_stupid_lonerRP S.O.B. 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I assumed it was more French…… And it does have a really nasty sound to it, too.

[–]il-est-ressusciteMRP APPROVED 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Lol. I'll take it. In any case, it's a charitable description of this crap.

[–]stonepimpletilistsHARD CORE NAVY RED 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Doggerel

I haven't had to look up a word since we

had the twin towers up.

/scene

[–]DukeFrostyMarried 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

"wow, you are high maintenance."

I come back, still a bit miffed about her behavior and decide to play with it a little and guage deeper.

Even if you had a verbal comeback you obviously still can't handle her little girly verbal jabs. Internal shit test fail. She ruffled your feathers, you got irked, and then decided to "test if you were worthy" by pushing for a second round. There's a disconnect here between how attractive you think you are to your wife and how attractive you really are. What are you doing in other areas? Are you leading?

So. I'm excited now. I'm getting physically attractive and I know through social proof that I'm awesome

Your post reeks of empty vanity. Having confidence, gaining strength, looking good are all important. But you sound like a little shit who has to run around showing everyone. And your personality probably fucking sucks judging by this post.

I knew I would eventually get what I want, just as I have with everything else. And if not with her, then the relationship is not conducive to my needs and I'll have to move on.

That first sentence. Wow man. It's like a three year old spoiled brat wrote it. Your wife was probably giving you duty sex or simply complying. And you're so stupid you didn't realize it. It was a CHORE for her to fuck you the first time, it's even worse for her to have to do it again. If you were really building attraction you'd know the difference.

I actually look forward to shark week, cause i know I'll be getting focused BJs and cum in her mouth.

Here's an idea. Why don't you set a more realistic goal if sex is your only gauge of your progress (which I am assuming it is from your post). When you're getting "focused bjs" and she's gargling your cum willingly on the reg every week then you're getting somewhere.

[–]fakefalseMarried[S] 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

Humility hurts. I'm glad I came here for guidance, cause evidently I've been getting a little cocky lately.

I'm having to reassess how healthy my behavior has been towards others these days. I'm looking better than ever before and feeling great, and I'm pretty high on myself. Guess I'm just choking on my self infatuation. I'm realizing I'm not so shit hot afterall.

Time to recalibrate. I've got some reading though, thanks to the advice and direction that's been offered by everyone here.

I'll work on all this. Thanks.

[–]DukeFrostyMarried 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Solid reply and a great start.

[–]prometheus_winced 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Big credit for taking a lot of negative feedback as input. May be a first on the internetz.

[–]PineleroMarried 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Women can be selfish; she came so it's over. Some women just don't appreciate tantric sex skills. It's a blow to their ego or else they have to concentrate too much to "O" that they are tired and can't do it again.