Just wanted to give everyone some insight into what looks to be our next manager. Can't wait to see this classy guy parading down Trafford's sideline. Really hope we can line up a guy like Simeone to take over after him and keep our United traditions and integrity intact.

Mourinho on Claudio Ranieri:

Ranieri? I guess he’s right with what he said I am very demanding of myself and I have to win to be sure of things. This is why I have won so many trophies in my career. Ranieri on the other hand has the mentality of someone who doesn’t need to win. He is almost 70 years old. He has won a Supercup and another small trophy and he is too old to change his mentality. He’s old and he hasn’t won anything. I studied Italian five hours a day for many months to ensure I could communicate with the players, media and fans. Ranieri had been in England for five years and still struggled to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon'.

On Arsene Wenger:

I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.

On Pep Guardiola:

Guardiola is a fantastic coach but I have won two Champions Leagues. He has won [only] one Champions League and that is one that would embarrass me. I would be ashamed to have won it with the scandal of Stamford Bridge and if he wins it this year it will be with the scandal of the Bernabéu. I hope one day Guardiola has the chance of winning a proper Champions League, a brilliant, clean championship with no scandal.

• Here, Mourinho is accusing UEFA of trying to ensure that Barcelona made the final in 2011 after Barcelona beat Madrid 2-0 at the Bernabeu. Classic Mourinho.

On Didier Drogba:

I am no longer Chelsea coach, and I do not have to defend them any more, but I think it is correct if I say Drogba is a diver. Drogba, Ronaldo, Torres and Van Persie are the divers. Who dives more? Who has won more penalties in recent years? But English football is the one that criticises the divers the most.

On Newcastle:

You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch. And then stop the game because there was a cow. You cannot do just anything in football. You have to defend with your 10 men, put the 10 men on the goal line, park the bus, but football needs a ball. Not two or zero. Do what you can to win but not everything. Sometimes there were zero balls and that cuts the dynamic of the team who is trying to win the game.

• Mourinho complaining about Newcastle parking the bus against him. That's rich. Who would dare park the bus on Mourinho, the king of parking the bus?

On Carlo Ancelotti:

Many coaches have won it more than once but there is only one club that was leading 3-0 in the final and managed to lose it. [Sir Alex] Ferguson has also won it twice. He is 68 and we’ll see how many I have bagged in 23 years.

• Mourinho responded with this after Ancelotti said Mourinho lacked respect after he stormed the field during a game.

On Ronaldo:

I was manager for the first time in 2000 but, before that, I was assistant in big clubs and with big managers and coaching the best players in the world, so I was 30 and I was coaching Ronaldo, not this one [Cristiano], the real one, the Brazilian Ronaldo.

And this:

I had just one problem with Cristiano, very simple, very basic and it’s from a tactical aspect that I noticed, which I brought up in order to improve upon and make him better. And at that moment he didn’t take it very well because maybe he thinks he knows everything and the coach cannot help him to develop more.

• I've never heard a single coach say that Ronaldo was unwilling to learn. Ever. Not very loyal to a player that is responsible for your success at Madrid.

On Playing Style:

It’s not important how we play. If you have a Ferrari and I have a small car, to beat you in a race I have to break your wheel or put sugar in your tank.

• Sums Mourinho up perfectly.

On Youth:

The players and the agents would like this, 'Oh I need five matches in a row to prove myself'.

'You need five matches in a row? Oh, fantastic'. You don't need five matches in a row. You need 10 minutes.

'In 10 minutes you can show me if you are ready or if you are not ready. Kurt Zouma didn't have five matches in a row (after he arrived from St Etienne in January).

'In 10 minutes it's difficult to score a Maradona goal, to get the ball in midfield, dribble around 10 guys and score.

'But that's not what you're expecting from a player. In 10 minutes you can show a lot - a lot. Chelsea boss Mourinho hit out at Ruben Loftus-Cheek earlier this summer saying he didn't try hard enough

'You can show you are ready, you are mentally ready, you're physically ready, and you're ready to cope with the pressure. Ten minutes can say a lot.'

• That's a promising policy. Excited to see how that shapes up at the club that is built on youth.

On Eva Carneiro:

I was unhappy with my medical staff. They were impulsive and naive.

• He also called her a son of a bitch for treating the injury to Hazard and refused to apologize.

On his final defeat:

The two goals are very difficult to accept. It’s a big frustration to accept because I feel like my work was betrayed, if that’s the right word.

• Glad to see our future manager will take responsibility for himself!

This guy exhibits the traits that I expect in a United manager. His values align with all the reasons that I fell in love with United 20 years ago...