What do YOU want to do?

/ hunterdrew / Leave a comment

It’s been a while since my last post and a lot has been going on. Unfortunately my blog does not rank above the other matters I’ve been attending to so I’m glad things have slowed down a bit so I can get some writing done.

Since my last post I’ve dealt with a few key things that I wanted to talk about – they’ve all centered around the point that – Masculine men do what THEY want to do – NOT what is expected of them to do NOR what is considered the ‘popular’ thing.

The three topics I want to get knocked out of the way are

1)TRP-MRP-TFA

2) Fitness

3) Purpose/Leadership

TRP/MRP/TFA

The Family Alpha, Married Red Pill, and The Red Pill are talking about the same thing - differently.

The Family Alpha, Married Red Pill, and The Red Pill are talking about the same thing – differently.

I wrote a post on Reddit stating that if I could go back in time, I would get married again. As of right now there are 479 comments which I’m pretty sure is a MRP record. The post can be read here (MarriedRedPill – Married Again). The result of this post was a division between myself and a majority of ‘RedPill’ subscribers.

The Family Alpha is not a part of the ‘Red Pill’ brand. I follow the Red Pill and support The Red Pill – but I am not an ambassador of The Red Pill because I am not an ambassador of anything except embraced masculinity. The Red Pill is focused exclusively on sexual strategy which is but a small part of the nature of masculine men.

The Red Pill does not endorse marriage because it is a raw deal for men. They see monogamy as counterproductive to optimal sexual strategy (which it is) and they view the ‘contract’ of marriage to be flawed and favoring women (most of the time this is true).

Married Red Pill does not endorse marriage because it is a raw deal for men and most of the men who are married are in a really shitty place both personally as well as sexually. Then again, the guys who have an awesome marriage are probably not going to end up on that subreddit. I came there by chance as I was searching for a way to help men embrace their masculinity and married men became my niche.

The Family Alpha doesn’t give two shits about marriage as I am SOLELY focused on the Man. If a man wants to get married – go for it. I am married and I am having more sex and more fun than many of my married and single counterparts. It comes down to the man and that is why I would do it again, because I have had success and I believe others can too. I do not give a fuck if a man chooses to marry or not, as long as he goes into whatever he chooses while owning his shit and properly prepared/educated I am good.

So to clear the air and leave my opinion here in black and white. I do not recommend marriage as most guys are too weak and stupid to make it work. But, I do believe that marriage can work and I am fortunate enough to have chosen a solid women whom I would definitely marry again if I could go back knowing what I know now.

Fitness

Fuck the Dad Bod - I fucking hate it and hate the men who make the population I am a part of (fathers) look like pathetic pussies.

Fuck the Dad Bod – I fucking hate it and hate the men who make the population I am a part of (fathers) look like pathetic pussies.

I fucking hate how many overweight, weak, pathetic fathers there are. I feel if you are a fat piece of shit you should not be allowed to have a child and if you do then you should be placed on a mandatory training program where you check in with your Dr/Nutritionist weekly until you are at an acceptable level of health.

I have seen more ‘DadBods’ recently than I care to admit. Your body tells me everything about you. It tells me you place your comfort over all else. It shows me that you do not deserve sex from your wife and you are complacently accepting of that. It tells me that you are not living a full life and are not a leader for your family. It tells me that you cannot protect your family or yourself if the wolves ever came close to your flock. Your fat body is a product of the female imperative and you gladly play along as their pawn.

…fucking disgusting.

There is no ‘health at every size’ and you know that. ‘DadBods’ should be something along the lines of Leonidas from 300. Maybe a little hairy but stick muscular as fuck. I’m not talking fitness model 5% bf muscles – I’m talking obvious functional strength muscles. You should – at any point throughout the year be able to confidently take off your shirt.

The positives of this are limitless. You will live longer, you will avoid health complications, you will be able to ‘live’ and hike, run, climb, jump, play anywhere at any time. Want to hike a mountain, let’s do it – want to pick your wife up and spin her around, do it – want to run that race, climb the roof to fix that problem, intimidate the bad guy from even attempting to mess with you or your Mrs? All of this comes from being a physical capable male.

Physical and mental fitness are crucial aspects to developing your masculine nature. You need to be reading, thinking, lifting, and running your fucking ass off daily. You cannot train one without the other – mind and body connection.

Do CrossFit, SEALFit, Olympic Lifts, 5ks, IronMans, etc.

There are so many fucking programs it is ridiculous. The information is available, you just need to stop being a pussy and get your ass into gear. It’s hard? Good, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going in life. I want you to succeed, I truly do – but YOU have to make it happen, so come up with a plan tonight and put it into motion.

Purpose/Leadership

You have to Lead - you have to take the reality you've uncovered and come up with a way to work it to your advantage.

You have to Lead – you have to take the reality you’ve uncovered and come up with a way to work it to your advantage.

I have, both in ‘real life’ as well as on Reddit noticed that a lot of the guys I’m talking lack any leadership skills and purpose in their life. I think the bigger issue is finding that purpose, because how can you lead anyone if you don’t know where it is that you’re going?

What is your purpose in this life? What is it that you want to do or who do you want to be? Do you want to be a guy who runs a lot of races, or climbs a lot of mountains, or travels the world, or opens a business? What do you want your reputation to say?

A few of my personal answers are that I want to write a book, be known as a guy who isn’t afraid to get dirty, and my reputation to be that of someone who has high standards, follows through on commitments, and is not afraid to live a life as an unapologetically masculine male.

I’ve gotten the you’re so manly remarks from chicks checking out my beard, actions, or words. Usually it comes right after I offend them and say what others think but won’t directly say or some other brash action.

Maybe you want to be viewed as the dude who is like that, or like my friend who is a fucking nerd but owns it so well that his ‘nerdiness’ is the shtick that makes him likable and popular.

Once you know what you want and who you truly are, you can then lead those around you to support that type of lifestyle. Don’t fake it, you need to be authentic here. If you like to knit – fucking knit your ass off (and send me socks). It doesn’t matter what it is you want to do, all that matters is that it comes from a raw, true, authentic place in your heart.

Once you are true to yourself you’ll know exactly how to lead others to that same place. You’ll set the example for them to follow and allow them to be their authentic selves. You can lead your family to embrace their true nature and not just follow what is ‘trending’ on social media. You can lead you fellow men to own their shit and stop being a bunch of weaksauce fucking fucks.

Stop watching others own life and stop wishing you could make a difference. Take up the reins and do what you were born to do – lead and own your shit.

It’s good to be writing again, I have several posts that will be flowing out in the next few days.

  • Hunter

Read to/with/and in front of your kids.

/ hunterdrew / 1 Comment

I have been tracking my reading since 2013 as I thought it would be pretty cool for me to provide a list to my kids when they got a little older, allowing them to see the mental adventures their old man went on throughout his life. My wife, while she does not track her reading – actually reads more than I do. We differ on preference of medium as she loves her kindle and I am more of a physical books kind of guy. Regardless of what you read from, the fact remains that while I speak to married men, this (reading to your kids) isn’t only for the father to do. I believe my wife and I do it the best as we both read with and to our kids as well as ensuring they see us reading.

My Reading list: 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016 (present)

It has been brought to my attention that while I have been promoting reading and setting positive examples for your children, I’ve yet to touch on the subject of the importance of not only reading in front of them, but also reading to them and with them. Interacting with them in a manner where reading is the sole connection & focus.

I have found that establishing routines, rituals, traditions, and standards in your family is of the greatest importance. Reading to your kids is an opportunity for you to facilitate their mental growth in a way that nothing else could ever compare. Whether it is the routine of reading before bed, the tradition of reading A Christmas Carol every December, or the ritual of where everyone sits – getting the drinks prepped – and gathering around whomever is telling the story that night. These memories last a lifetime and the foundation from which you build your family is strengthened when you can bring the tradition, rituals, and routines together with one action – reading.

You don’t know me, you know who I show – but you don’t know the everyday real me. I will let you in on a piece of my private nature – I am not a complainer and I cannot tolerate those who are. Instead of talking about a problem or bitching that there is a problem –why not work towards a solution to the issue? Masculine men don’t bitch that their faucet is leaking, yard is fucked up, or kids don’t listen – they fix the fucking issue and move forward.

One of the biggest complaints I hear about children is that they are all about instant gratification, that their faces are always plugged into electronics, and that they do not appreciate the hard work and discipline that was needed back in the day. Guess what PARENT your kid’s issues are direct results of your failure to properly lead them. Every single problem you find in your child should be viewed as a mirror as it is your failure. So, lets find an answer to the issues, let’s bring about a resolution to your gripes.

Reading is the solution to a majority of your problems

Reading TO them

One way to ensure that your children are set up for success, appreciate a sturdy family life, and have the values you find to be of importance is for you to be an influential part of their ‘growing’ and development of self. Reading is an aspect of this that I find will go deeper and last longer in your child’s memory than any other activity. Maybe it is the romanticized aspect of Daddy reading to me before bed or maybe it is the ‘adventures’ we went on together. Whatever it is, my kids have made it clear whenever I take too long to grab a book that they expect my ass ready to read and aren’t going to hear any excuse as to why I bailed on them.

I have read MANY books to my kids. The ones that stand out are the ones where we all really get into it. Reading The Hobbit, Tolkien’s Beowulf, Alice in Wonderland, and (currently) Harry Potter have me and the kids turning the pages on the edge of our seats wondering what will happen next. Singing the Songs of the Dwarves, doing the accents and voices in Alice in Wonderland, and painting the picture in Harry Potter are things that my kids will never forget. Daddy being there, breaking it down, showing the pictures, explaining the advanced concepts, discussing the chapter after reading it, allowing them to stay up late so we can finish the chapter (sometimes more for me than them) – all of it strengthens an aspect of our relationship that cannot be duplicated elsewhere.

Reading WITH them

My son reads short stories to me every day. His school has him take a book home every day and the family will sit down together (sometimes his sister takes off to play with her dolls) and he will read to us. After he reads the book I ask him what he thought about it, what his favorite part was, and then I will ask him a question like: What was the boy’s name? What was the color of the truck? Why did the dog run into the house? I do this in an effort to test his reading comprehension. He loves reading to us, it makes him proud and having him read in front of people helps to develop both his self-confidence as well as self-efficacy. Not only does he know he can read to us, he knows that when he does read he comprehends what it is he is putting out there.

Now to shift gears and focus the spotlight on you. Answer these honestly: How many nights have you put your kid to bed without reading to them? How many nights did you choose watching Netflix or drinking over sharing that moment with your child? Why do you think your child doesn’t appreciate reading or doesn’t have the ability to sit still and remain focused for longer than 3 minutes? My kids are 3 and 6, don’t play the age card. It’s your fucking fault – you are placing your own selfish priorities over the development of your offspring and they are suffering for it, destined to be a part of the growing population of weaksauce fucking kids.

We only have so many breathes in this life, only so many opportunities to have a Polaroid (memory) hung up on the string that is our life.

Do you imagine your child reading to their kid when they get older? Do you imagine them sitting with a kid on their lap telling stories? Do you entertain all of those other ‘cliché’ romantic moments? If you do and you don’t read to your kids, then it’s not going to fucking happen.

Earlier today I read a solid quote from a user on the Married Red Pill subreddit and I wanted to share it here:

/u/tim_rp said, “I’m of the opinion reading to your kids is the single best thing you can do for them. Books are the one thing we have no qualms purchasing in our household and we have hundreds.

It’s just insane how beneficial it is:

  • Adds something fun to the daily routine.
  • Creates together time with very little effort. But cosy, special one-to-one (or one-to-two in my case) time.
  • Sows the seeds of later literacy. Not just reading but things like vocal inflection and character/plot development.
  • Start early enough and you put them on the front foot when they start school, because they’ll instinctually understand what it means to interpret words on a page.
  • Lets kids play out reality and experience the wider world (and fantasy worlds) from the safety of their own home.
  • Gives them a platform to develop and explore their own interests.
  • Calms them the hell down before bedtime.

I read to both my kids since day one and now my six year old now reads to me!”

I could not agree more with his stance on the subject and again, if you don’t read to your kids then you are robbing them from a lifetime of personal and professional growth.

Read IN FRONT of them

Kids will follow your example over your advice. The most important action to take if you want your kids to read, is to do so yourself. Skip watching the football game, skip watching Family Guy or Bob’s Burgers – save that for when they are in bed. When it is raining out, don’t have them playing video games – instead of the external stimulation have them utilize some internal imagination to create a world of enjoyment.

When the sun is out, my family is out. The wife runs around with them, I play ball with my son or chase my daughter, we do whatever. If it is raining, then my wife and I will do some projects or whatever the house needs and we will also sit in our living room and read. She will read on the kindle (sometimes a physical book) and I will read on my chair with a book (sometimes the kindle). The kids play with their toys, but more often than not they will come into the room and grab a book and either weasel their way between myself and my book asking me to read theirs with them or they will lay on the floor and read or look at the pictures themselves. They enjoy being wherever we are and while we don’t force them to read with us, it is expected that they will do something productive and not whine about not being able to go outside.

My kids see me lift, so they ‘lift’ (foam barbell/15lb kettlebells, pushups/body squats, etc.) they see me read – so they read. Books get you to strengthen your mind – reading is Mental Fitness. Provide your child with that mental strength and fortitude. Teach them the amazing power of the written word. Explain to them how interesting it is that a bunch of black squiggly lines on a dead tree written by possibly a dead man can paint a picture in their mind.

Remember, “A person who won’t read has no advantage over the one who can’t.”

Mine Counter Measure: How to navigate & disarm waters filled with blue pill bombs

/ hunterdrew / 5 Comments

An unfortunate truth of our age is that a majority of men are unknowingly fully plugged-in to a reality which fully supports the female imperative. Masculinity has been under attack for at least the past 3 decades and this in turn has produced generations of ‘men’ who have completely repressed their masculine nature. These men, the ones who have been taught to bend over backwards so as to not ‘offend’ others via their manly nature have reproduced.

The offspring of these Nice Guy fathers never developed their masculine identity and have, unfortunately, lived their entire lives holding back the urges to be competitive, hidden their sexual nature, and repressed their aggressive tendencies. While this has led to men taking their lives, the trend of emasculation of all things and spaces has continued and society just steps over the dead bodies and angry men as if they were just pieces of trash floating by in the street.

If you are reading this as a man who has embraced his masculine nature then you will do well to heed my advice when dealing with the men who are still fully plugged in and supporting the female narrative as to how things should operate. If this writing offends you or you think it is completely out of touch with reality, then you are the one I am telling masculine men to work with or work around.

I mean this when I say it; masculine men need to work with guys who are still plugged in. A majority of the guys you interact with on a daily basis are weaksauce as fuck and while they truly believe they are running their life and living it to the fullest – you know the truth. The hard truth is that as long as you repress your urge to say something, or feel something, or express something you are not living at all. You are pretending – acting – filling the role society has cut out for you and there is nothing worse than going to the grave never knowing what you were capable of.

A part of being a masculine man is understanding how to deal with those who have yet to find the Red beacon.

A part of being a masculine man is understanding how to deal with those who have yet to find the Red beacon.

If you look at the Matrix – Neo thought he knew everything about everything: thinking that he was living in the real world. It wasn’t until that ‘real world’ was exposed as a fraud that he was able to fully embrace who he was and what potential he had. The same applies for these ‘guys’ that are pissing you off, the guys saying, Happy Wife Happy Life or Looks like you’ll be in the doghouse tonight, make sure the couch is comfy…

You want to shake the fucker and tell him to wake the fuck up but you can’t, not yet anyways because he’s not ready, he isn’t there yet.

I often refer to Married men being the Captain of their ship and this blog is mostly aimed to Married men or men in Long Term Relationships. In this post I want you to think of your ‘Ship’ as your life. Being the Captain of your ship is being the Captain of your life and where your ship is headed is the direction you are taking your life. Keeping this in mind, Mines will fuck a ship up. I spent 8 years on Active Duty in the US Navy as an engineer. My ‘General Quarters’ station (Battle Station) when/if shit hit the fan was deep inside the bowels of the ship. My job was to ensure that the pumps in my space continued to operate to keep firefighting stations and other systems on the ship operational. One shitty aspect of this spot was that if we hit a mine or were hit by torpedo – I was dead.

While a mine won’t immediately sink your ship, it could and it’s best not to take chances. Mines are placed in the ocean to keep waters safe for friendly ships and deadly for enemy ships. In life the masculine man goes and does whatever he wants and takes whatever he wants. That means you’ll have to travel the entire ocean, not just sticking to the ‘safe ports’. Every time you take a chance (changing jobs, cold approaching a woman, etc.) you’re going into deadly waters. Again, a masculine man doesn’t hide in the safety of his comfort zone, his ship belongs at sea. So what do you do? You learn to navigate the waters, enabling you to dodge the mines. Another option is to act as mine countermeasure so as to clear the way for others. Dealing with plugged in (bluepill) men is navigating mines. Opening the plugged in man’s eyes, introducing him to the true reality of our society is mine counter measure. You are turning this plugged in man, the white knight, into a masculine man (hopefully).

How do we accomplish this task? Easy, by acting like masculine men. Similar to your children, other men are going to follow your example more than your advice. Want one of your married beta buddies to own his shit? Instead of telling him that the first step towards reclaiming masculine identity is To Lift you need to just go and hit the weights. From there you have two paths

  • Wait until he notices your increased strength & aesthetically pleasing body (or he notices his wife looking at you) and then offer advice when he approaches you.
  • Tell him you are going to the gym and that he is invited. You don’t have to act as ‘trainer’ per say, but you could make it ‘bro time’ where you both make it a routine to go to the gym and hit the weights together.

The gym is the perfect place to plant seeds that will grow into masculine plants that bloom to create another masculine man. Between sets men talk shit in a brief and concise manner. Talking about wives, sex, work, sex, girls, sex, etc. is commonplace and it is here, where he is isolated, that you can just drop the comment that you’ve noticed your wife being much happier since you guys have been fucking on the daily. You can insert what the fuck ever you want, the point is you can talk a little more freely and introduce masculine living without ever saying the words.

The gym could be replaced with running, working on a car, hiking, camping, limitless masculine hobbies that get this plugged in man away from others so that he can be exposed to how real men should behave.

This is not to say that it can’t be done in the presence of others. As I’ve stated before, masculinity is who you are, not something you do. Every party, get together, cookout, event is an opportunity for you to display to the sad, self-loathing men around you that there is a better way. Your confidence will inspire, your charm will incite jealousy, your subtle counter culture mannerisms will lead to discussions either in private or out in the open.

At a party my wife asked me to get her a drink, I told her no and instead asked her to grab me one while she went to get her own. She told me I was “such a jerk” to which I replied that I was a jerk who will be watching her sweet ass walk all the way to the house. She smirked, snuck out from under my arm, walked to the house, turning half way there to see if I was watching (I was) then she did a little strut and went into the house.

One of the guys sitting near me said that he would have gotten me a drink if I wanted one and another said I would be spending the night in the dog house. At this moment I was faced with two options.

  • Allow my rage at their weakness to lead to me blowing up or choosing to just remove myself from their pitiful company.

Or

  • Just smile and let them know that that wasn’t the way my marriage worked.

I chose the latter, the wife came back and made me give her a kiss before giving me my drink and I just resumed my place in the circle of men. Nothing was made of it, but I could tell the seed had been planted. What did I mean when I said, MY marriage wasn’t like that. Was I implying theirs was? Was theirs like that? How do they get to where I am? etc…Their minds had these thoughts and again, I never directly brought the issue to light, but there it was for all to see, their wives would have laughed in their face, yet mine not only got me a drink, she was happy doing it, after I had told her no. A word these men had not said to their wife in years, (at least in public).

Navigate or disarm: do NOT drive your ship aimlessly thinking you are 'lucky'. Use Tact, be strategic in your dealings with others.

Navigate or disarm: do NOT drive your ship aimlessly thinking you are ‘lucky’. Use Tact, be strategic in your dealings with others.

Navigating the Waters

This is the manner in which you need to deal with these ‘plugged in’ men. Do not create a horde of white knights prepared to defend a ladies honor with the disgustingly blatant covert contract of winning favor from her by going against your ‘oppressive/misogynistic ideals’. Don’t ever give them enough information to have hard proof you feel a certain way about anything. Let your actions say everything, let it all be ‘implied’ yet never concretely stated.

I will never go to a man and tell him, ‘Hey dude, you are fucked up and your marriage is NOT supposed to be sexless’. I would also never go to a single dude and say, ‘Hey, you’re a weaksauce fuck and everyone thinks you’re fucking pitiful with your fake ‘Nice Guy’ act. If you want something, have the balls to make it known’. Yet, I can guaran-fucking-tee that guys I have interacted with have felt these exact feelings and received this exact message without it ever being said. Do the same; say everything without ever truly saying anything.

Disarming the mines

When you reach a level of understanding with a guy who is recognizing his emasculation, you can then move into the next phase of ‘leading’, beginning to disarm the blue pill bomb that is wired from years of societal expectations and conditioning. The bomb architect is every feminazi, white knight, pathetic fucking puke who told this man he should embrace his feminine side and shove his masculinity so deep it all but disappears. This takes time, energy, and tact on your part. If you find the individual worth it, then remember that there is no shortcut to any place worth going. If you want this man to embrace his masculinity, it requires commitment in helping him while he traverses this path.

I have tried ONCE to help disarm that bomb in the ‘real world’ and I failed.

Understand this; I am not coming to you as some sort of prophet or as someone trying to get you to convert others as I have seen huge results on my own. I tried once and failed. I found ONE man worthy of my time and attention and I failed him, which is a blemish on me that every now and then creeps up and leads to opening the wound. It is his burden to bear and his loss, I understand this – but when you see someone you care about suffer preventable hardships, it sucks. Keep that in mind if you choose to throw the life line to someone, no matter how hard you pull the rope towards your masculine ship, they may be swallowed by the big blue ocean.

Helping a man recondition his way of thinking and entire reality is a hell of an undertaking. If you are successful, the reward is worth it as you now have a man living in accordance with his biological make up. You’ll have helped a man find peace with himself and embrace his tendencies and nature, and for the first time he may embrace his true ‘self’. It’s a beautiful thing. If nothing else, continue to set the standard from which all other men are compared.

-Hunter

Disrupting Class (OCONUS Pondering Part 3)

/ hunterdrew / 45 Comments

The Man in the Mirror (OCONUS Ponderings part 1)

You need to have a Thing (OCONUS Ponderings Part 2)

QUESTION: Do you know what feminazis and white knights really, really fucking hate?ANSWER: When their position is questioned.

Masculine men aren't afraid to break the mold, to swim away from the current when it isn't going in the direction they want.

Masculine men aren’t afraid to break the mold, to swim away from the current when it isn’t going in the direction they want.

I have learned through my own experiences and the stories I’ve read on the Manosphere that whenever an ‘accepted’ belief is challenged, people get bent the fuck out of shape. So as I lay awake, pondering what can be done to save masculinity both in marriage and as a whole, it is clear that at the least, the one action that must be taken by all hands involved, is asking the questions.

I used to be a very religious person, then I began to ask questions, from there I went on my own personal journey from which I came out a ‘humanist’ of sorts.

As I am walking this journey of spreading the message of embracing masculinity (vice repressing it) I’ve realized that I need to follow this same course of action. We all need to be asking questions.

  • Why do men get the raw end of the deal in divorce?
  • Why do we teach boys and girls in the same manner?
  • Why are boys told that their natural tendency of being sexually charged, competitive, and aggressive are bad things that should be repressed?
  • Why are women given a pussy pass time and time again?
  • Why are men painted as rapists/oppressors/abusers when they say they enjoy sex/fighting/competing?
  • Why are there no spaces that are ‘men only’?
  • Why do men pay the bill, hold the door, lay down their jacket, & sleep on the couch?
  • Why have men become so sad and pitiful?
  • Why is it called a ‘DadBod’?
  • Why aren’t men entitled to a paternity test on birth?

These are but a few questions that will lead to other questions, so on and so forth. As you ask yourself these ‘Whys’ recognize two things.

  • Until there is a shift in support of the female imperative, this is our reality and you must not balk but rather find a way to make this knowledge work to your advantage. Appreciate the gift provided by The Manosphere – The gift of knowledge and awareness. You are armed with the understanding of how and why things are operating in the manner they do – exploit that.
  • This is not the result of women or feminism – what we are dealing with is the direct result of some white knights who have been looking to gain favor with women on a grand scale. Some dickhead somewhere wants to put women into combat roles so he can say See ladies, I’m a ‘Nice Guy’ and I support women when in actuality he is going to get them killed as well as the men they serve with. The military is but one example – look at how widespread the female imperative has spread. It is in every facet of society and has led to all of the questions I asked above.

The next time you are dealing with an individual who is pushing the agenda of women, just ask the question. Also, do so in a masculine manner, ask the question with overt communication – straight forward, confident, maintaining eye contact, and with a posture that says – Answer Me. It is very rare for anyone to challenge anyone else nowadays, especially in person. We have keyboard warriors out the ass – but challenge accepted thoughts in person – watch them quake.

Question everything, especially as a masculine male living in a weaksauce society.

Question everything, especially as a masculine male living in a weaksauce society.

In order for masculinity to spread, men must embrace their masculine nature. In order for the ripple effect to occur, the knowledge must spread. How do you spread knowledge, you discuss it. For me, it was this blog – the written word. For you, maybe you ask the question, as innocent as it seems, but you do so in a place where you know other men will hear you. You plant the seed in their mind and when they go home, they ponder your question – they wonder, ‘Yeah, why the fuck is it called a ‘DadBod’ I’m a Dad and I look…oh fuck, well maybe I have a little weight to lose, but the wifey doesn’t like muscles she said..wait ..she did fuck me hard after watching Magic Mike XXL…’ Boom! That man has started the process of finding his way to embracing his masculine nature.

Instead of standing by and allowing this bullshit to continue unchallenged, take a stand in a tactful manner. Don’t get up and throat punch the ‘teacher’(society), just disrupt the class (fellow citizens) by asking the question Why?

-Hunter

You need to have a Thing (OCONUS Ponderings Part 2)

/ hunterdrew / 6 Comments

OCONUS Pondering Part 1 – Man in the Mirror

A part of embracing your masculine nature is breaking free from your wife. Too many men out there include their wives in everything they do. Instead of saying ‘I’ enjoy doing whatever, it is always ‘We’ do whatever.

Listen, this may come as a shock to your plugged in system, the one that is still working to dissolve all of the Red Pill, but you need to have a life outside of the supervision of your wife. You need to have a Thing.

On the MarriedRedPill subreddit the advice offered to men who talk to their wives too much or are dealing with a wife who wants to do nothing more than bitch at nothing is for them to get out of the house. The follow up question from these guys is – “what do I do when I leave”. This shows how pitiful married men have become, a majority have no idea what to do without their significant other in hand. These guys don’t have a thing they can fall back on.

Not only this, but in order to build the foundation from which you will build your masculine self, you must be comfortable losing it all. This derives from Rollo’s post: The Cardinal Rule of Relationships  where he says, “In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.” In order for you to exhibit that confidence and ability to walk away from your marriage with your happiness and mission intact, you need to believe – to your core that you will make it.

Do you know how you build this belief? The one that says you will be alright if your wife is not on board your ship that is headed towards owning this life and embracing your masculine nature? You develop an entirely new ‘self’ that can exist without depending on the validation and support of your woman. You find a thing and you own it, you make it the thing you do with or without anyone else.

Maybe you want to take up sailing, writing, photography, or martial arts. Maybe you want to become a rock climber, camper, or play for an intramural football team. Maybe your thing is traveling or kayaking…Whatever your thing is, you have to own it. Your wife will view this transgression from her ‘acceptable behavior’ list and she will challenge it. She’ll call you out on being a poser, she will bring up how you are wasting funds, and she will say that it is stupid. This, brother, is where you showcase your newly uncovered masculine power. You smile – and you continue to do your thing.

You see – you don’t need permission or acceptance from her, this isn’t about her – your life should never have been about her. She is a part of your journey, she is not the journey itself. In fact, she has been resenting you since the day you made her your soul purpose in life. I understand this is in conflict with everything you’ve been told – but who are you going to listen to – the people who got you into a dead bedroom and resentful marriage or the dude who wants you to get the most from this life and marriage as you possibly can before you die?

Finding a thing is a part of the expression of your masculine nature. It takes a lot to break the habit of repressing your masculine urges and desires, but when you let them go, you can finally say, “Babe, I’m going to take some pictures I will be back in a few hours” and instead of her blowing her fucking lid, she will respect that you are a man. Men think deeply and can maintain focus on subjects and interests for years, masculine men don’t suffer from the plague of instant gratification and 3 second attention spans. Developing your hobby will allow you to break free from the shitty habits you’ve picked up from being plugged in to a feminized society.

In marriage we need to remember that the two do not literally become one. The reason my marriage ‘works’ is because I am a man, she is a woman, and we are lovers. We have our own(separate) lives as well as our life together. We do our own things apart as well as together. We bring each other into one another’s side to check things out, but there is a clear distinction that the painting and decorating is my wife’s and the photos and writing are mine. These are our outlets that allow us to get away.

Until you are able to build that trust in yourself, that you will be OK on your own – you’ll never develop the confidence that is required to fully experience your masculine possibilities. Your woman will always know that you are the one who cares more and that you need her more than she needs you. My wife knows that if she were to leave, I would be fine. I have hobbies, I have money, I have my own thing and because of that – she desires me more. Women don’t want to have to tend to their men like children. My wife and I have 2 kids (3&6) the last thing she needs is me hovering around her because I’m afraid to be alone with myself.

So, my immediately applicable advice: find your thing and begin to develop it. Immerse yourself in it – commit yourself to something. Take a class, find a free course on YouTube to get started, and then just take the fucking plunge. Don’t bankrupt your family by buying a boat or a car to fix up – do it in an intelligent manner. Your wife doesn’t owe you any toys or hobbies, it isn’t her fault you lost your masculine identity to her, she is as much a victim as you, she’s wanted a man with a life from the beginning.

Maybe you go back to the hobbies you had when you first met or maybe you find all new hobbies that you’ve wanted to try but were too much of a pussy to actually go out and try. Whatever it is, remember that it is your’s. 

Now go out there and Do. Your. Thing.

-Hunter

The Man in the Mirror (OCONUS Ponderings part 1)

/ hunterdrew / 15 Comments

 

Traveling the globe gives me plenty (probably too much) of time to ponder how to embrace masculinity in a feminized society

Traveling the globe gives me plenty (probably too much) of time to ponder how to embrace masculinity in a feminized society

I’ve recently been afforded the opportunity to travel outside the United States for my job. Last month was my first real ‘business trip’ and first time leaving the country not on deployment. I took my journal with me and wrote a few posts and I’ll warn you now – some are from a sober mind, others (such as this one) were fueled by some fine liquors. I’ve decided to make all of these posts a series of sorts as I feel time away from the family and outside the ‘normal society’ I am used to will lead to some insight I wouldn’t otherwise have had.

This is the first post from my journal.

It is 0223 and I am in a foreign country, sitting awake in my hotel room, sipping on the last glass of single barrel Jim Beam I picked up earlier in the night. I tried sleeping but the mind was racing, I also have the spins so it’s best I keep my eyes open. I’ve been sitting facing a mirror and thinking hard about the man in the mirror – the guy looking back at me. Then, as is usually the case, I turned my mind to the subject of masculinity.

You see, there have been several times throughout my existence in the manosphere that I have had to remind guys that all of the flaws they were finding in their girlfriends, wives, and children were results of a lack of leadership. These people, the ones you hold closest – are your reflection. Your wife is your mirror. Just like I am able to look at myself right now and see the result of my gym time, looking at your kids or wife shows you how well you have led them – and just like the iron in your gym – the mirror doesn’t lie.

Don’t be so quick to judge your woman’s excess weight. Look inside, have you led her towards healthier eating? Have you ever offered to lead her in weightlifting or subliminally send the message that she needs to improve her strength? You’d be surprised how much you can accomplish without saying exactly what you mean. A conversation on the importance of remaining flexible and having strong bones when you’re old could, if delivered correctly, tell a woman that you want her to lift weights and start stretching. Your woman is your responsibility. If you want her to fix a certain aspect of her ‘self’ then you need to let her know that.

The same goes for the kids and wives that drive their husbands crazy for spending so much energy on time vampires such as Facebook, TV, and video games. These are all distractions, they distract individuals from their ‘real’ lives and provide comfort and validation for people who have not developed a life that can provide this same feeling. Neither my wife nor I have facebook and I truly believe we are both better off because of it. I was becoming the angry veteran mad at the world for bitching about the smallest of things and my wife would get disheartened when she didn’t get any ‘likes’ on a picture she put up of the kids. We didn’t realize it but this shit bothered us and it was completely preventable.

I recognized the issue and over time was able to help her realize that her life was passing by and that if she wanted to get the most of it, she would have to start living in the moments and no longer trying to capture them. It’s about living an awesome life, not projecting one for validation from others. My wife is now the most hard core Anti Facebook chick there is – she fucking hates it and has told me on several occasions that she will never go back and is so glad I was able to help her break free from it. When people are on their phones when we go out or they are ‘Scrolling’ –she calls them out on it and it turns me.

This woman is my wife, it is my job to ensure that I am not only setting myself up for success and working towards continuous improvement, but also that I am helping her do the same. The men who are bitching about the poor quality of their spouse and kids are often times guys who have just unplugged and think they now see ‘reality’. This is false, while they do see reality, they fail to see it as a result of their actions. It didn’t have to be this way – it is the result of weaksauce men who have not led their clan for months and likely years.

Before you point your finger at another, make sure you've looked inside yourself for the cause first.

Before you point your finger at another, make sure you’ve looked inside yourself for the cause first.

If you were a weaksauce dude and you break free from the cookie cut mold our feminized society has forced you into, then you need to recognize that you owe it to your wife and kids to help them reclaim their own sense of ‘self’ before you start pointing fingers or threatening to leave. Lead your family – lead your woman – and most importantly take ownership of the damage that was done.

All of this is not to say you can just morph these people into what you want like putty. But -to a degree you can. I have gotten my wife into weightlifting, running, and being more confident in her style of dress. I did this in a manner where she thinks she came up with the ideas and I am totally cool with that (leaders deflect praise and accept responsibility). But, there are still some things she does that I don’t agree with and that is OK. She likes to read from a kindle and rarely read physical books I’m the opposite, she would rather sit on the sand instead of play in the water, not me – she does things her way when it comes to her job and school and while we have argued because I would have done or said something a different way – it is OK; she is her own person and my job is to lead her towards success, not turn her into the female version of me.

When you point your finger at someone you have 3 others pointing back at you, think about that…Our job is to lead our family – it is not to become a dictator.

Remember, Dominant > Domineering you want to lead and inspire respect with a little fear – not all fear with no respect. Your wife will change when two things occur.

  • She finds a reason to change. There are more than a few posts on MarriedRedPill that discuss how a man’s wife got in shape/filled her womanly role/started helping with kids and the house after the guy pulled his head out of his ass and started filling his masculine role. Working out, taking the lead, providing strength and confidence when all others are bending to the wind…these things inspire change.
  • She wants to make ‘daddy’ proud. I’ve written a few times on the importance of supplanting daddy and becoming the man your wife wants to make proud and wants to please. She will start doing things because she wants you to notice. She’ll wear that sundress with nothing under it, she’ll start hitting the squats and deadlifts with more intensity, she’ll do the things you want her to do because now she wants to do them for you. This is often times when she starts providing the unsolicited blowjobs that elude so many marriages.
Until you kill your ego the mirror will be distorted. See the reflection for what it IS and not what you WANT it to be.

Until you kill your ego the mirror will be distorted. See the reflection for what it IS and not what you WANT it to be.

All of this can be achieved by the man who first fixes himself, then approaches others. Ensure that before you point your finger at another person and say your wrong ensure you have an answer to the three fingers pointing back at you making sure that you, yourself are not the one who is wrong. Remember, when you look at your wife or children, you’re looking at the result of your leadership (or lack thereof) – you’re looking at the man in the mirror.

-Hunter

Don’t forget to enjoy the ride

/ hunterdrew / 4 Comments

We have touched on the topic of having fun and the importance of remaining your own Man time and again, yet sometimes I feel the message is lost. So it is important that as writers, bloggers, vloggers, and Reddit posters that we refresh the message and remind guys that we need to enjoy the journey as much as we feel we’ll enjoy the destination. Day in and day out to the gym, writing millions of words, observing your wife, improving your standard and watching those around you raise their own…all of this is fucking awesome. I wrote about Reasons to be Thankful last Thanksgiving and I am reminding you now, find comfort in the discomfort of living life as a masculine male in a weaksauce society that has stacked the cards against you.

Embrace the challenge that is marriage in today’s day and age. White Knights and Feminazis want to push the female imperative and foster open hypergamy, good let them. Continue to raise your own standard and show them that no matter their efforts, they cannot overcome your masculine nature and make yourself such a high value male that your wife knows if she fucks up, she loses ‘the prize’ which is you. 
On this blog as well as the Red Pill subreddits there are a lot of newly unplugged men who are asking for for advice and guidance concerning their marriage.  There is quite a bit of doom, gloom, resentment, and frustration in the beginning; so much so that it has been given the title of ‘The Anger Phase‘. This is your reminder that while your perceived reality crumbles and you recognize the world for what it truly is, you should still be having the time of your life.

Whether you’re a newly unplugged dude or a seasoned Vet who has had a solid ‘Red Pill’ marriage for years, don’t become complacent or forget how fucking awesome it is to be a man in a sea of feminized bitches.

Yes, it is depressing when you see other guys wasting the precious time we have on this planet making a woman their entire purpose in life. But, they will either unplug when they are ready or they will die thinking that being Mr. Nice Guy is a proper and honorable path.

For your own sanity, make the time to appreciate that you have broken the mold society has been forcing you into and that you are going to raise the standard of the modern day male. It is a more difficult life, but you need to keep in mind, there is no shortcut to any place worth going.

With all of that said, enjoy the ride.

  • Enjoy the shit tests as they are entertaining and truly amusing when you picture the hamster spinning its wheel.
  • Enjoy the pain from lifting the iron. The discomfort from weightlifting provides a humbling yet spiritual experience. Knowing the limits of your body, then training to raise those limits is some fucking powerful shit. I bought a bench, barbell, squat stand, and bumper plates. I can now lift in my garage whenever I want so there is NO excuse for missed workout.
  • Laugh at yourself, laugh at your wife, laugh at your kids, and laugh at the absurdity of what goes on around you. People can’t fathom that I don’t let my kids watch TV or snack whenever and that I will run around outside with them in the rain or do mud crawls or hop around on their scooters, I don’t give a fuck I keep doing me and my kids are better off because of it. It is sad, but fathers have become so sedentary and lethargic that they can’t keep up with their kids. Not me and hopefully not you, enjoy fucking around with them and reminding them that their old man can hang. I’d much rather whoop my son’s ass at connect four then have us all plugged into the TV watching fucking Hey Jessie.
  • Make fun of your wife, ruffle her feathers. Don’t be a dickhead, but bring the spark of humor into your relationship. A while ago I replaced my wife’s incense with a sparkler when she wasn’t looking. It looked like the fourth of July for a few minutes, it was fucking awesome. Stupid shit like that, stop taking yourself so serious. She is just a girl you like on the playground, pull her hair, and tease her.

Gentlemen, we have an opportunity to live life as men and keep our marriage until we are too old to remember we are even married (and at that point who cares)? Enjoy it while it lasts, have fun, and strive to reach a point of optimal existence, full immersion in each moment.

Enjoy each and every moment you are on this earth as life is nothing more than a bunch of experiences. Stay strong, make it count, fucking smile.

Hunter Drew

Lifting is step #1 towards reclaiming your masculinity

/ hunterdrew / 3 Comments
Either you're a strong man or you aren't - your opinion on this doesn't matter as much as your wife's view of your level of strength.

Either you’re a strong man or you aren’t – your opinion on this doesn’t matter as much as your wife’s view of your level of strength.

If you don’t believe in you, then why should your family??

So you’ve discovered The Manosphere and have decided that you are going to take back your masculinity, own your shit, and lead your family. Before you start throwing around AWALT, Dread, and deciding to have a ‘Coming to Christ‘ moment with your wife (which I have said time and again IS A BAD FUCKING IDEA) you need to get your fitness in check. I personally believe that your actions should do all of the talking. You don’t just sit your wife down and act like a Somali pirate saying, “Look at me, I’m the captain now” that’s fucking gay and your wife will laugh in your face. You don’t just ‘become’ a leader, you earn it.

This is why I believe that Fitness is the first brick we are laying in the foundation from which you are building the ‘new you‘. The reason for that is Fitness provides the most immediate effect on your psyche. Simply put – Iron doesn’t lie. You will immediately learn a few things.

  1. The King is alone, heavy is the head that wears the crown. If you don’t have a limitless reserve of confidence in yourself, you’re going to crumble and end up exactly where you were before, a beta provider weaksauce fuck. You don’t want that and neither do I.
  2. You’re weak. You may think it is acceptable that you’ve put on a few pounds as your married, that’s what happens right? You have to be a physical presence for yourself, your family, and for society to even give you a notice. Dread only works if your wife views you as a man who can get other women. Women know women, they know that nobody is checking out the dad with a white shirt showing under his polo and stained khakis that show his stomach spilling over the belt.
  3. Lifting kills that desire for instant gratification. This venture takes time and that patience and diligence will carry over to the other aspects of your life. Learn to calm the fuck down and take your time. Do it right, not fast.

Again, the Iron doesn’t lie, either you can lift it or you can’t there is no place for your male hamster or rationalizing it away. Are you strong enough? Yes or No? Why?

The confidence that you will gain through your relationship with the iron will lead to a newly found believe in your sense of self. You will know your body more intimately than ever before. You will know what you are capable of and the strength you are developing will be noticed by those around you. If you want to be the Master of Tingles you need to have a body that makes women wet. Fuck what women say, watch their actions as it’s what they do that truly matters. If your wife says she hates ‘muscular men’, what she is actually saying is there is no way she would have married a loser and the reason you aren’t muscular is because she doesn’t like that. It saves her own ego and if you understand women’s solipsistic nature, this is an obvious example.

The next time you have sex watch as she grabs those hard triceps, holds onto your lats, or keeps touching your abs. The chick who ‘didn’t like muscles‘ is all about those new ‘hard‘ muscles you’ve built.

As for the instant gratification, the commitment needed to enter the gym day in and day out is fitness for your mind. You develop more self-discipline and remove the instant gratification that plagues many ‘men’ out there. The simple act of going to the gym is, in itself, improving your ‘self’. It also gets you away from your wife, developing your own life separate from her’s. My wife and I have a life together, but we also have lives’ apart. It keeps us from becoming needy, dependent, or desensitized to one another.

At this point it seems like a good time to ask the question. Are you working out as hard as you can? Are you lying in bed at night thinking ‘Tomorrow I will take action and start working towards removing this flab’ – then waking up and not making any progress towards that goal?

You are a Man, act like it.

Embrace the pain of lifting. You cannot move forward until you complete step one, reading the books, making posts on Reddit, understanding the theories – they do nothing if you are not able to implement the knowledge. Until you are confident and look like a man who owns his shit, the application is going to fail. You cannot come at your wife from a position of power if you are winded walking to the bedroom to have the discussion.

I’m a Moderator of Married Red Pill, a subreddit dedicated to men who are married and are looking to reclaim or maintain their masculine nature in marriage. There have been several instances where guys have posted ‘I’m not building attraction / Dread isn’t working / We still aren’t having sex yet’ and instead of viewing this to be the consequences of poor application and accepting responsibility, they blame ‘The Red Pill‘. Yet, when the question of Do you even lift Bro? Is asked, the answer is almost always a long winded answer that could be summarized as NO.

You must lift heavy weights and you must build that sense of self-satisfaction in the gym. When you hit that PR you will think, ‘I did that through hard work’, then you’ll realize that the same dedication needs to be applied to every facet of your life – Hard work pays off.

It’s also important to note that it isn’t motivation you need, it is self-discipline. Harnessing the two is the most optimal way to reach goal accomplishment.

Motivation burns like a match, Hot & Fast. You can get it from a speech or a YouTube video, but it doesn’t translate well to self-improvement. You will only make progress when you take that match of motivation and use it to light the ‘Log of Discipline’.

Fun Fact: Fit People Have More Fun

Fun Fact: Fit People Have More Fun

Stop living in denial and thinking that being 30lbs overweight is normal or in any way acceptable. Being a Dad does not mean you should be rocking a beer gut. You need to be strong and in shape, there’s no excuse for your lack of vascularity or any indication of having abdominal muscles, that’s just laziness. I take these weaknesses more personally than I should, but when I see weak, dadbods at the beach I am reminded that the reason there is such a shitty stereotype for married men is because of these fucking fucks who let themselves go. You want to know the real reason your wife cheats or won’t fuck you, because you’re pathetic and there are better men who deserve her pussy and attention. The truth is a bitter one, but your wife will fuck you if you’re a high value man and there are no high value men who don’t have their physical fitness on point. Even the rich dudes who are fat get cheated on. Want your marriage to be ‘successful’ and last? Lift heavy fucking weights.

My brother in law took the photo that is at the top of this page. We were doing squats and he took it without my knowledge because he thought it would look cool which it does. I proceeded to call him a fag for taking pics while lifting but regardless of how gay it is to take photos while hitting the iron, I sent it to my wife while she was at work. She sends me nudes so from time to time I return the favor.

Her reply was that it looked fucking sexy and when she got home we role played Personal Trainer and Client the sex was awesome though looking back she never paid me for my time…

Do you realize that your wife watches what you do? If you are repeatedly making excuses as to why you aren’t in shape, she views you as a weak bitch, so – Stop being that weak bitch and take action.

If you want them to reclaim your masculinity and have it improve your marriage, then you need to stop rationalizing the Iron away like a woman and get your ass in shape. Only then will the rest of the benefits of being a masculine Family Alpha fall into place.

Set the example for your wife, kids, and other men to follow. Be the standard from which excellence will be measured. The better you look the harder every other man will have to try to get your woman’s attention.

Hunter Drew

Voice or Echo?

/ hunterdrew / 1 Comment
Are you the creator or the reflector, Original or Clone, are you doing things your way or are you trying to be someone else?

Are you the creator or the reflector, Original or Clone, are you doing things your way or are you trying to be someone else?

These are difficult questions to answer, especially if you haven’t killed your ego. You may think, “I’m marching to the beat of my own drum, owning my shit, and am the man with the plan…” except for the fact that you are basing your actions off of what you think others will say. Do you see the issue there? If you are not taking action from your own genuine desire to improve and get the most from this life, then you will never feel the void in your heart that is your masculine desire. You can find a mentor and I advise you to do so, but you cannot try to become that mentor. He is walking his path and as I’ve written about already, The Masculine Man walks his path alone.

When I was in the navy (fuck, I’m starting to sound like the old Vets) there was a guy who had been my mentor when I first checked onboard the ship. This story is 4 years after that initial meeting and I had since surpassed him in knowledge, rank, and positional authority. Still, he always held a special place in my heart as he was the first one to ‘take me under his wing’. To those who help me or take a chance on me, I am fiercely loyal to for life. To those why cross me or try to sabotage my plans, I never forget and even when I say I forgive, I don’t. But I digress…

During the middle of one of our deployments I found him alone…and he was crying. I asked what the issue was, to which he responded, “My wife told me (via email) she is sick of me being a pussy and that she wants to leave with the kids. I know she’s found someone else and I’m going to come back from this deployment to an empty house without my kids… Why can’t I be more like you, why can’t she love me, why can’t the other guys respect me, why am I such a fucking weak loser….”

Looking back, this may have been the seed that sprouted and grew into The Family Alpha. This was the first person I ever counseled on reclaiming masculinity in himself and ultimately as a married man. Notice, I said, ‘reclaiming masculinity in himself‘. I couldn’t make him ‘more like me‘, I could only guide him thinking and acting like the man he as supposed to be all along.

I’d like to point out before continuing on with my friend’s story: This plight is one that many men are facing. Those who push the female imperative are paying no heed to the mental health issues men are suffering from entirely due to their repression of self. They hold in their masculine nature to the point where it becomes this ‘dirty secret’ and the results are weaksauce men who lose everything they were promised if they did as they were told. This type of shit keeps me up at night, wondering if I could write a post or book that could bring this attention to the forefront of discussion. Ultimately I have this blog and I’m working on a book, but too many men will suffer entirely preventable deaths and sadness in the meantime. Again, I’ve gone off on a tangent…

Back to deployment

You know what the first action we took was? I made him come with me and the rest of the guys to the gym 6 days a week. He had always played the role of funny fat guy emulating Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson. When we’d get drunk he would be the guy doing the ‘Truffle Shuffle’ and while we’d all be laughing, his wife was never amused. Looking back, I should have addressed this earlier. I’m a people watcher, always observing and I had noticed her lack of enthusiasm several times. I just thought she was a bitch, at the time I was unaware that she was embarrassed in her choice of husband and by him being the Jester of the group, she had a low value male. This removed any validation from others and ultimately making her look like a low value woman.

After getting his physical fitness dialed in and making healthy eating a habit, I then worked with him on standing straight, no longer conforming to those around him but actually speaking his mind, and when we hit ports, I brought him out to get new clothes.

I’d like to point out that this was happening in 2007. There was no Red Pill, Married Red Pill, Rational Male, or Illimitable Men there wasn’t anything like it that I was aware of. But, the ‘prescription’ I gave him to reclaim his ‘masculine self’ is almost textbook to what I would give today, 8 years later.

The time is going to pass year by year, when are you going to make the decision to embrace your masculinity and live this life as your true self?

The time is going to pass year by year, when are you going to make the decision to embrace your masculinity and live this life as your true self?

He became more direct, found comfort in the discomfort of losing his family (he knew it would suck, but at least now he knew he’d survive and make the best of it), and as a result of the lifting his posture and confidence improved. These changes were both internal and external, physically he improved but more importantly mentally, he developed his masculine identity and embraced the difficult path of masculinity, he found comfort in the discomfort of being a man. This all led to him commanding respect from others and demanding the best from himself. A few times we came to blows and I fucking loved it. He was finally standing up to me and not just cowering or being a Yes Man. Men fight, it brings them closer; we’d throw down over some stupid shit that was amplified because on deployment what else is there to do, then we’d buy each other a beer, such is the life of masculine men.

I don’t know what was said in the emails or letters to his wife, but I do know that she was home when we returned and they are still married to this day. Maybe it was her recognition that he was OK walking away and that he had found purpose outside of her. Maybe she saw he was no longer a Yes Dear kind of guy, maybe it was that he went from being able to do .5 pull-ups to 13 strict, he lost weight, and was dressing better… maybe it was all of the above.

I don’t know, but again, what I do know is, it worked. He was able to reclaim his masculine nature and the message I pushed the entire fucking time was that he was not becoming more like me or the other guys he idolized; he was becoming who he should have been the entire time, a Man.

This is a common theme on the Red Pill subreddits – weak men are forced to face their mediocre performance through women cheating, girlfriend’s leaving, and nobody respecting them. That or they look around and realize that they’ve been a Nice Guy and put everyone ahead of them for so long that the world has moved forward and it no longer needs them.

By following the path laid out by the those supporting the female imperative, these guys are chewed up and spit out while doing what they thought was the ‘right’ thing for a man to do.

You need to become a voice, start sending your own signals without regard to whether they are ‘PC’. You can’t try to be someone else as you aren’t walking their path, you’re walking your own. You can be like someone else, more assertive, replicate some fashion you like, try hobbies masculine men are found doing, etc. But never lose your own identity to trying to become someone else. You can’t be me, you can’t be Rollo, and you can’t be Bruce Wayne or Patrick Bateman. You have to be you and you have to own the shit out of it.

Be another masculine voice that will help change the landscape for men. Allowing others to recognize that they can lend their voice to the cause of reclaiming masculinity. The ripple effect will do the rest. Start Today.

Hunter Drew

Don’t Live Life Vicariously

/ hunterdrew / 3 Comments

This is your life and you need to understand that it is all there is for you. You don’t get today back, you don’t get 5 minutes ago back, it has passed and it will never come again. Every single thing you want to do has to be done in the window you’re given. If you want to have a six pack and get the admiration that is given to the good looking, then you need to make the time to prep meals, hit the weights, and get out in the public to display your art.

You don't have all the time in the world, you have NOW. Stop daydreaming and actually DO.

You don’t have all the time in the world, you have NOW. Stop daydreaming and actually DO.

Do you want to write a book or get your degree?

Then get started! The time is going to pass either way so you might as well do something productive that brings you closer to those goals during the passing seconds.

I was originally going to write a parenting post bringing attention to dads who are looking to ‘do it again’ via their sons. I decided against this as while those dads who want to live through their sons are completely weaksauce, the guys who live through their friends are as equally deplorable.

  • Fathers with Regret
  • Envy
  • Freedom
  • Bonus Question
  • Father & Son NOT Father IS Son

I coach my son’s flag football team. This has exposed me to many instances where fathers, who are totally out of shape, are pressuring (sometimes physically) their son to do better, hit harder, suck it up, and stop whining. These weak fucks rocking the Dadbod are trying to relive their own ‘glory days’ through their kids. Not only are they pathetic losers for choosing to take this path of parenting, but they are preventing the kid from forming their own identity. Every choice these boys ever make is going to cause internal struggle as they won’t know if they are making the decision because they themselves want to, or if they are choosing something because it will make dad proud and would be the choice dad would make.

Gentlemen, listen up – if you have a son, allow your son to grow into his own man. Lead him, foster a masculine environment, train him in discipline, work ethic, and teach him the reality of the world – but for fucks sake – do not try to be him and live his life.

My hero is the Men out there who are living an unapologetically Masculine life/

My hero is the Men out there who are living an unapologetically Masculine life/

I’m lucky in the sense that my boyo is all that is man. The kid loves sports, math, America, and all things boy. But, if he were to come up to me and say he wanted to join dance, I would support the fuck out of that too. I wouldn’t call him a pussy, because I am not living through him. My job is to raise him, not make him who I think I would be if I were to do it (life) again.

I would be the most badass father with signs, face paint, and air horns for my son the ballerina.

A Dad and his Daughter

I also have a daughter, and she is the girliest most feminine thing in this world. As I am typing this post up, she is jumping over my dog’s tail with her bedazzled purse over her arm and a huge bow in her hair (she cuts to my core).

I fucking hate how so many fathers I know say shit like, “When she goes on her first date I’ll be waiting – cleaning my shotgun when she gets home…”

Awesome dude, you’re going to scare off a 12 year old boy? That’s masculine as fuck, I’m sure that will make your daughter think, ‘Gee, my dad sure is great’. In reality, it will do the opposite and just the fact that you feel the need to play the role of ‘tough guy dad’ means you truly aren’t a tough dude.

Not only this, but you want to foster a relationship with your daughter where she feels that she can talk to you about anything. I don’t want to think of some boy with my little girl, but its life and the reality is, I’m going to have to cross that bridge someday. I would much rather my girl feeling comfortable discussing it with me and asking the questions than having her sneak behind my back. If you’re a weaksauce father and talk about how you’ll ‘scare the boys away’ then your little lady is going to ensure you never even know those boys exist.

Do yourself a favor, let your son live his own life and ensure your daughter knows that she can share anything with you.

Envy

If you are a single masculine man and you have friends who are married or in long term relationships, then you’ve probably heard the pitiful phrase that runs along the lines of, “Man, you’re so lucky, if I wasn’t married I would do x, y, z…don’t ever get married”.

These guys, they envy you, the want what you have, they think, ‘If only I were single…’ which almost directly translates to, ‘my lack of achievement & contentment with life is directly linked to my decision to start a family’. What you probably know and they are afraid to admit, is that their mediocre performance is not due to their family, it is due to their lack of work ethic, discipline, and inability to embrace their true masculine nature.

I loathe these men more than any other group. I have a special hatred for weak husbands and weak fathers because they are a part of my demographic and they are the reason people think I should be weak, fat, and content with what I’ve got. All in all, they are the reason marriage and fathers have such a shitty stereotype (one I’m trying to break). These fucking assholes are using their family as an excuse for poor performance, they talk of their wives and children as if they are anchors when in reality they should be fuel.

You can stare into the abyss forever, thinking of all the things you 'could' do OR, you could choose to actually do those things.

You can stare into the abyss forever, thinking of all the things you ‘could’ do OR, you could choose to actually do those things.

If you are married or in an LTR – do not envy your single friends, instead – raise your own personal standard. You chose to start a family, even if you did so in the BP mindset, you made a life decision. Lead your family to the level you want them at, maintain the highest standard for yourself, and stop being so fucking comfortable and complacent.

You cannot live through your single friends. Stop admiring their achievements and adventures and go out and make your own. Make it a journey with your family. Single friends can’t bring their family to see the beauty of nature, they can’t lead children to overcome adversity or grow as individuals, they are single, and they don’t have offspring whom they can nurture and watch grow.

The past is gone, whether you wanted to travel more or do this or that, it makes no difference. You are here and you are in the now. I appreciate you spending your ‘now’ reading The Family Alpha but I need you to go out and do the things you want to do. Travel with the kids and wife, or set yourself up so that when they are older you can do what you want then. But still, immerse yourself in the now and don’t ever let the thought ‘if only I were still single’ go through your mind ever again.

Carpe Fucking Diem

You’re Freedom Lays within You

 You cannot live through others, whether it be your kids or your friends. You have your life and only your life – maximize it. Find a way to love who you are, where you’re at, and what it is you do. Even if you want to grow or improve, still find a way to love the point you’ve reached thus far.

To quote Jocko Willink, ‘Discipline Equals Freedom’ discipline yourself enough to place what you have to do over pretending it doesn’t need to get done. You have to workout to get the body you want and the body your wife wants you to have. You have to apply yourself to actually DOING and not just TALKNG about whatever goals you’ve set. You have to accept that you are where you are, trying to live through your kid or friends is not you actually living, so choose to live your own life. If you haven’t put in the work then you don’t deserve the glory, every man I know thinks they have what it takes to reach the highest level of living, but very few actually have the balls to grind all the way from beginning to completion of a goal, you have t finish whatever it is you start.

You'll reach the height you work for and the life you earn. Want to climb higher? Then work harder and raise the standard of self as well as that of those around you.

You’ll reach the height you work for and the life you earn. Want to climb higher? Then work harder and raise the standard of self as well as that of those around you.

In closing, you have to find comfort in the discomfort of living life as a masculine male in a weaksauce society. Nobody can do it for you and you can’t do it through anyone else, live your life – own your shit.

Hunter Drew

**Unrelated Side Question**

Does embracing masculinity apply when dealing with homosexuals? Do we have any gay individuals amongst The Manosphere ranks that can answer this? Maybe a lesbian who is the ‘man’ in the relationship, or a gay dude who has to deal with his ‘feminine’ partner.

I deal a lot with heterosexual individuals, I’ve never dealt with gay marriage, why is that?

These things have crossed my mind a few times and I don’t want to write an entire post just to ask this question. I bring it up for people to either private message me so we can discuss or to comment below so we can talk about how, if at all, it works and what the differences of application may be.