This is tough. I sympathize with your predicament. The person who told your husband about this was a first class jerk.
But let me tell you what it
feels
like as a man.
You were his queen. His virgin. His beautiful princess. He'd understand if you didn't want to do 'everything' in bed. He'd understand if you didn't want sex for x or y reason. Because you're his true love.
To feel this. To believe it in earnest. To put up with sexless periods in marriage. To accept that your wife won't 'do everything' for you. To accept that sometimes she just won't climax with you. To accept that sometimes she'd rebuff your advances. He accepted these things because he was under the impression that you were giving him your whole self. In word and in body.
To accept all these truths and then to suddenly hear, from
someone else
that your wife wasn't the person you thought she was. To hear that she lied (by omission) about (example) 'not liking to go down on people' because she was willfully doing it with two men at once. To him, it feels as though you liked them more than you like him.
To him, they were your princes. Your true loves. You gave them everything. Then you turned around and give him what was left. You don't want to do 'those' things with him, because 'those' things are reserved for them. This is how a part of him may feel. That when it comes to the holiest of all intimate bonds, you made that bond in such a free and open way with your other lovers, but you limit that expression with him. All the 'I love yous' that you've shared between you just feel like lip service to him. He feels duped. Like he's a sucker who fell for the con of the century. Sexually, this is like a nuclear bomb on his ego.
He may also feel ashamed. It's shameful to hear from
other people
that your wife used to sleep around. (not
judging you. again
this is probably what he feels) That's the big splinter in your marriage: broken trust.
You had every right to want to start a new life for yourself. It's commendable. It's really unfortunate that this part of your past was revealed and might railroad your marriage. However, you also need to realize that what he should do has been made incredibly difficult for him with what he knows.
He
should
get over it. He should
forgive and forget. He should
realize that what he has is quite important: that what he's built with you isn't worth tearing down over this.
But that's going to be tough. It's tough to imagine the love of your life with another man's d--k in her mouth and another man taking her from behind. 'Gee that's none of your business' isn't going to cut it here. He knows. The images are in his head. Never mind how or why. The question now isn't whether he
should
move past this, but rather, whether or not he can.
Tell him that you did these things while you were younger. That you wanted to move forward.
And that you're sorry for not at least giving him a heads-up. Give him space. Let him work through this. Eventually, you need to lay down the line. Admit that you regret not telling him what you did. Ask for his forgiveness and tell him that you want to move on.
Put the ball in his court and wait and see.