Well, once again this topic comes up. I’m sure some of you recall what happened a little over two months ago in regards to polygamous/polyamorous relationships and what I’d said at that time. I’d like to talk a little bit about my opinion on all of this as well. I’d like to be completely open and honest about my feelings on that matter and the new ones that have been discussed here.

• 1.) In regards to /r/WaifuismTH

I’ll admit that I was a member of this group for the last 3 months. I’ll elaborate on its existence since this post has already put them in the public eye. Following the incident 3 months ago I felt awful that I had made certain members of this community feel ousted and unwelcome. Some of those people who felt unwelcome left to create their own community which touted tolerance and acceptance. However, it quickly evolved into a hateful community that talked about the bigotry and general elitism of /r/waifuism and many of its members. It felt almost like a parody of what it truly meant because within their group they often pointed and laughed at posts from cringe subs and talked poorly of people behind their back. Of course we’re no moral angels either. Both sides have proven to be morally gray.

In time I felt that I didn’t belong because I naturally gravitated toward traditional views on waifuism and I wanted to give their type of love a chance. Given time, my feelings remained negative toward that type of love. I was happy to be friends with some of them but there were others that felt like they didn’t care for their waifus whatsoever—as if it was some kind of game or as a filler until they found a real relationship.

I’m sorry. I felt myself drifting from most of you folks in /r/WaifuismTH with time. I was wronged once or twice in their Discord. I could look past that. I was told I was strange for trying to defend /r/waifuism whenever they tried to trash talk it. I could look past that. I was told to shut up for trying to defend my friends that I had in our community. I just felt like given all of these things that this group switched from an increase in tolerance and acceptance to something straight out of /r/TumblrInAction where they talked about how awful and full of hatred our community is. It’s not, I love our community.

Here are a few examples of behavior I’ve seen in their community:

• Willingness to drop one’s waifu as soon as an opportunity for a human relationship comes along. It implies you only love your waifu as much as they make you feel good. They’re only there to cover for you until someone that is actually willing to enter a relationship with you is around.

• “Hurr durr I hurt a 2d girl’s feelings” – This is especially offensive to me. How can you not care about someone you love? I understand that this is all fictional but as soon as you decide that their feelings are unimportant then they just become a plaything. Something for you to hold onto and collect and make yourself feel good with. That just feels hollow.

• Flirting in their Discord channel. I’ve only seen this from a couple of their users but I don’t understand how in a community built on the love one has for their beloved that this is acceptable behavior? I understand some couples flirt and all but there was a period in time in which this happened excessively.

• One user particularly irked me by sexualizing my waifu and defended their position by saying that if they were poly and Konoha were one of their waifus then I would have no ground to be upset. I got an apology of course, but that made me feel very negatively toward the entire concept of poly. She’s such a wonderful girl, how could she not be enough for someone?

I bet after making this post they’ll vilify me and be horribly shocked that I couldn’t uphold their views and opinions. I’m honestly hoping that I’ll be able to remain friends with those I’d become close with. It hurt when I realized how much my actions had personally hurt the people I’d become friends with. Why on Earth would I take a stance like this again? I’ll move forward into the next topic.

• 2.) In regards to polygamy, polyamory, and headcanon

There was a reason those few months ago that I acted the way I did and I felt bad for some of the justification I used back then. I argued a slippery slope of unseriousness. However, given the actions and the people within their community I’ve come to believe that even if my argument was fallacious that perhaps my fears were correct based on some of the behaviors I’ve seen in their community.

Why do I advocate against something that can occur and be healthy in real life? Let’s consider the standpoint of a human relationship. In most cases you will find that your partner is offended that you’d even consider pulling another person into your relationship unless you’re both clearly open to a poly relationship and both actively looking. Given mutual consent, you may find that your relationship expands to encompass this additional person. This can be a great feeling and a positive relationship.

However, in the case of waifuism, your waifu can’t consent to anything whatsoever—even including the initial relationship we have with them. All we can do is our best to be the best person we can be for those we love. If you fall in love for yet another person you should always consider the feelings of the person you already love. I’ve seen some justify it with headcanon where you change them to make sure they’d accept your love for yet another person. If we change them to make sure they fit our feelings better, do we truly love them? What’s to stop you from adding more and more each time you find a character that you’re sure you’re deeply and truly in love with? It just seems like it could possibly evolve into an endless cycle.

I don’t think they’re inherently evil or inherently negative. I just think that the acceptance of people with multiple waifus poses a risk to the community in the sense that some people will begin to think that it’s alright to have as many waifus as they want with no regards to the feelings they have for the one I’d assume they love the most. Why would we be so willing to change the ones we love only for the sake of our own pleasure?

• 3.) Conclusion

In the end, I’m sorry that it now looks like I’ve betrayed a set of my friends twice. I just can’t keep moving on with a community that so decidedly has a distaste for these people that I’ve spent so much time becoming friends with. A community that always tells one another, “We don’t need them.” A community that always tells one another, “They’re only elitists and bigots.”

Over time they’ve proven to me that they’re not a community about love for their waifu. They’re a community that rallies around their discontent for this subreddit. I have never once felt that their community was a place for love. In the beginning for me it was a place for repentance, but in the end it turned into a place where I felt I was no longer in the company of those that truly loved and cared for their waifu—which is why I joined this community in the first place.

I love many of the friends I made here and I still love the friends that split off and joined that community. I’m sure my dissenting opinion will get me removed from their group and it’s likely I will never again be given the chance to be friends with the people that decided I was worth one more shot. I think my values and ideals were always a little different than their own. I stayed around to be close with some of the people that I befriended prior to the incident in February. I’m still sorry that I behaved the way I did back then, but now I’m going to stand for what I believe in. Many of you have been wonderful to me. Some of you have proven to me that you really don’t care and are only interested in being involved because it gives you a social activity.

I agree with /u/Random_Shitposter’s changes. WaifuismTH became a sub that was more concerned with hate than love. Poly love, as shown by the actions within their community, has made me feel that it has a strong negative influence. Headcanon is something required in cases but I’ve always felt strongly about changing character’s core beliefs and identity only to suit you better. Why would you ever force the person you love the most to change? Good luck to any who no longer feel welcome here, I harbor no negative feelings toward any of you personally. I would love to stay friends with all of you, as much as I’m sure none of you will believe me and call me a bigoted elitist for this post. For those of you that plan to stay, I hope you’ll come to understand why these changes were made.