A necessary change in policy

thowaway_pun_here · 20時間前

So it begins, the great shitstorm of our time

See_The_Lights · 21時間前

I feel like i just woke up to the sound of gunshots down the streets.

And I'm just here trying to understand what is even going on and what drama did i miss.

Not to mention i thought this sub would be relatively free from drama.

Also while on the polygamy subject i don't agree nor disagree with you, and on the headcanon part I'm going to have to hold back my opinion.

I'm going to have to disagree with this:

I believe that if we don’t enforce our rules as strongly as they ought to be or allow for casual and hugblanket behaviors then we’re on a downward trend where it becomes more and more difficult to determine who’s serious and who actually cares.

I'm hoping I'm actually misunderstanding that due to English not being my "main" language, But I'm sill inclined to call bullshit on that one thing.

Mostly because this sub is basically the only place on earth I can talk about "waifu stuff" on a casual way and it's (honestly pretty fucking sad "only place on earth" is not hyperbole.

Not to mention taking things too seriously is the downward death spiral of fun places.

Look at TV tropes.

mycerea · 18時間前

I gotta agree with /u/DarkStar5758; I've been a little suspicious of some of the new folks popping up, many of whom claim to have increasingly bizarre and difficult-to-believe waifus.

Generally speaking, though, I don't see any cause for alarm- frankly, the rules as is are fine and I don't see any real changes, just a notice that they're actually going to be enforced more consistently going forward. I'm getting a sense that the only ones going to be feeling the hammer are those who are knowingly pushing the line- even reasonably extensive headcanons, personal doubts, etc. are perfectly OK- it's when someone's intentionally going too far, whether in an attempt to troll, be edgy, etc. that this seems designed to stop.

And that's fine; I think I speak for more than just myself when I say I'd like to see a little less trolling from outsiders- there's stuff I'd like to share on here- cute chibis, "post your waifu when...", and discussion threads that I've held back on due to the non-stop troll activity lately.

jyagariko · 1時間前

I think this is a good step for this community. You have my full support.

PM_ME_CUTE_MEGANEKKO · 19時間前

Well, once again this topic comes up. I’m sure some of you recall what happened a little over two months ago in regards to polygamous/polyamorous relationships and what I’d said at that time. I’d like to talk a little bit about my opinion on all of this as well. I’d like to be completely open and honest about my feelings on that matter and the new ones that have been discussed here.

1.) In regards to /r/WaifuismTH

I’ll admit that I was a member of this group for the last 3 months. I’ll elaborate on its existence since this post has already put them in the public eye. Following the incident 3 months ago I felt awful that I had made certain members of this community feel ousted and unwelcome. Some of those people who felt unwelcome left to create their own community which touted tolerance and acceptance. However, it quickly evolved into a hateful community that talked about the bigotry and general elitism of /r/waifuism and many of its members. It felt almost like a parody of what it truly meant because within their group they often pointed and laughed at posts from cringe subs and talked poorly of people behind their back. Of course we’re no moral angels either. Both sides have proven to be morally gray.

In time I felt that I didn’t belong because I naturally gravitated toward traditional views on waifuism and I wanted to give their type of love a chance. Given time, my feelings remained negative toward that type of love. I was happy to be friends with some of them but there were others that felt like they didn’t care for their waifus whatsoever—as if it was some kind of game or as a filler until they found a real relationship.

I’m sorry. I felt myself drifting from most of you folks in /r/WaifuismTH with time. I was wronged once or twice in their Discord. I could look past that. I was told I was strange for trying to defend /r/waifuism whenever they tried to trash talk it. I could look past that. I was told to shut up for trying to defend my friends that I had in our community. I just felt like given all of these things that this group switched from an increase in tolerance and acceptance to something straight out of /r/TumblrInAction where they talked about how awful and full of hatred our community is. It’s not, I love our community.

Here are a few examples of behavior I’ve seen in their community:

Willingness to drop one’s waifu as soon as an opportunity for a human relationship comes along. It implies you only love your waifu as much as they make you feel good. They’re only there to cover for you until someone that is actually willing to enter a relationship with you is around.
“Hurr durr I hurt a 2d girl’s feelings” – This is especially offensive to me. How can you not care about someone you love? I understand that this is all fictional but as soon as you decide that their feelings are unimportant then they just become a plaything. Something for you to hold onto and collect and make yourself feel good with. That just feels hollow.
Flirting in their Discord channel. I’ve only seen this from a couple of their users but I don’t understand how in a community built on the love one has for their beloved that this is acceptable behavior? I understand some couples flirt and all but there was a period in time in which this happened excessively.
One user particularly irked me by sexualizing my waifu and defended their position by saying that if they were poly and Konoha were one of their waifus then I would have no ground to be upset. I got an apology of course, but that made me feel very negatively toward the entire concept of poly. She’s such a wonderful girl, how could she not be enough for someone?

I bet after making this post they’ll vilify me and be horribly shocked that I couldn’t uphold their views and opinions. I’m honestly hoping that I’ll be able to remain friends with those I’d become close with. It hurt when I realized how much my actions had personally hurt the people I’d become friends with. Why on Earth would I take a stance like this again? I’ll move forward into the next topic.

2.) In regards to polygamy, polyamory, and headcanon

There was a reason those few months ago that I acted the way I did and I felt bad for some of the justification I used back then. I argued a slippery slope of unseriousness. However, given the actions and the people within their community I’ve come to believe that even if my argument was fallacious that perhaps my fears were correct based on some of the behaviors I’ve seen in their community.

Why do I advocate against something that can occur and be healthy in real life? Let’s consider the standpoint of a human relationship. In most cases you will find that your partner is offended that you’d even consider pulling another person into your relationship unless you’re both clearly open to a poly relationship and both actively looking. Given mutual consent, you may find that your relationship expands to encompass this additional person. This can be a great feeling and a positive relationship.

However, in the case of waifuism, your waifu can’t consent to anything whatsoever—even including the initial relationship we have with them. All we can do is our best to be the best person we can be for those we love. If you fall in love for yet another person you should always consider the feelings of the person you already love. I’ve seen some justify it with headcanon where you change them to make sure they’d accept your love for yet another person. If we change them to make sure they fit our feelings better, do we truly love them? What’s to stop you from adding more and more each time you find a character that you’re sure you’re deeply and truly in love with? It just seems like it could possibly evolve into an endless cycle.

I don’t think they’re inherently evil or inherently negative. I just think that the acceptance of people with multiple waifus poses a risk to the community in the sense that some people will begin to think that it’s alright to have as many waifus as they want with no regards to the feelings they have for the one I’d assume they love the most. Why would we be so willing to change the ones we love only for the sake of our own pleasure?

3.) Conclusion

In the end, I’m sorry that it now looks like I’ve betrayed a set of my friends twice. I just can’t keep moving on with a community that so decidedly has a distaste for these people that I’ve spent so much time becoming friends with. A community that always tells one another, “We don’t need them.” A community that always tells one another, “They’re only elitists and bigots.”

Over time they’ve proven to me that they’re not a community about love for their waifu. They’re a community that rallies around their discontent for this subreddit. I have never once felt that their community was a place for love. In the beginning for me it was a place for repentance, but in the end it turned into a place where I felt I was no longer in the company of those that truly loved and cared for their waifu—which is why I joined this community in the first place.

I love many of the friends I made here and I still love the friends that split off and joined that community. I’m sure my dissenting opinion will get me removed from their group and it’s likely I will never again be given the chance to be friends with the people that decided I was worth one more shot. I think my values and ideals were always a little different than their own. I stayed around to be close with some of the people that I befriended prior to the incident in February. I’m still sorry that I behaved the way I did back then, but now I’m going to stand for what I believe in. Many of you have been wonderful to me. Some of you have proven to me that you really don’t care and are only interested in being involved because it gives you a social activity.

I agree with /u/Random_Shitposter’s changes. WaifuismTH became a sub that was more concerned with hate than love. Poly love, as shown by the actions within their community, has made me feel that it has a strong negative influence. Headcanon is something required in cases but I’ve always felt strongly about changing character’s core beliefs and identity only to suit you better. Why would you ever force the person you love the most to change? Good luck to any who no longer feel welcome here, I harbor no negative feelings toward any of you personally. I would love to stay friends with all of you, as much as I’m sure none of you will believe me and call me a bigoted elitist for this post. For those of you that plan to stay, I hope you’ll come to understand why these changes were made.

HenshinAJoJo · 17時間前

Huh. Not sure how I feel about this. The polygamy thing, I can't really agree with. If you genuinely care for two people, and they care about each other or are fine sharing you, then you can be in a relationship like that in real life. Sure, you can't be married, but love isn't just marriage. Love is love, and that's all there is to it. But then, there's wondering whether your waifu(s) would be fine sharing you or caring about each other in such a capacity. If it's an IRL and a SO, then there's less guesswork, but there's still uncertainty in one party. Like you said, headcanon fills in the gaps, and if there's too much headcanon, then the character essentially isn't themselves anymore. I don't know, man.

I had noticed all the new people showing up, and a few of them were outlandish. But love can be outlandish, and spring for the oddest things. I love Audrey, despite her bitchiness and drug abuse and such. What's to stop someone from loving a pill, or a horse, or whatever? It is definitely possible that most of them are trolls, but it's also very possible they aren't.

The only drama in love should be between the two lovers, baby. Not any outside memers.

DarkStar5758 · 18時間前

I felt something smelled fishy but I couldn't place what. The main thing that set off alarm bells in my head was how it seemed there was an unusually high influx of new people. I'm not saying anyone in particular is a troll, just that the quantity raised suspicions that at least some were. Obviously I wouldn't base any actions on a mere suspicion.

As for poaching, that is not something I expected as waifuism seems like something we would band together around, not cause even more conflict over. I guess it makes sense that if a few people were feeling alienated they would form their own group and try to turn as many people against the group they left. I expect the irony is lost on them.

As for this other sub, I don't know whether I should be happy or annoyed that this is the first I hear of it. Did they just assume I would refuse to betray my friends or did I simply not have enough of a presence on here for them to notice me and reach out? Especially because for a short time I had both Rikka and Holo in my flair until I worked everything else, you'd think that would make me a target.

It also seems you made them wroth as evident by this thread constantly falling down to zero karma. Don't worry too much about them. You did your job and you can't always make everyone happy, especially when dealing with two groups that are against each other. None of us hold it against you.

Edit: It looks like part of the downvoting is due to a crosspost to another sub. Just remember some words to live by.

loenth · 18時間前

I want to say you have my full support.

At first I wanted to try understanding people with different views on waifuism even if I didn't agree with them. I couldn't help being annoyed by some members that didn't seem to care about their waifus but I still kept it to myself.

Some information I got from waifuismTH didn't help at all, not to mention all the hate they seemed to have against r/waifuism and a few members, some of them friends of mine. Sure, I was never part of that community and I don't know how much of it was true, but u/PM_ME_CUTE_MEGANEKKO's post seem to confirm most of those information.

All of that, in addition to the recent increase of troll posts, made me worried about the state of the sub so I'm glad changes were made. r/waifuism is an extremely important place to me and I believe u/Random_Shitposter knows what's the best for the community.

So-Su · 17時間前

Here's my opinion on this.

This is a community for those who are in serious committed relationships with their waifu.

This very rule, right there, is why RSP and the other mods aren't in the wrong for submitting these community updates. And let's face it, without these set up rules and guidelines, /r/Waifuism is going to go in the direction of /r/waifu : the very place the people of /r/waifuism and /r/waifuismTH mock. Sure, it seems rough to suddenly be forced to deal with a ban because of how your relationship is set up, but there was already a lot of discontent with the very people these rules were set to deal with to begin with. People like /u/Gilberto2196 who casually changed waifus more often than his underwear, or users in the IRC such as male user and his girlfriend that have committed PDA in the chat made for people with fictional/2D waifus.

WaifuismTH and /u/vocaloid_mayu post these updates to Cringe Anarchy.

Sure, it is terrible to be judged and oppressed because of the types of relationships people enter, but if you turn around and look at how they retaliated because of this, maybe they're better off themselves back at /r/WaifuismTH or, at the very least, they'd be pillars of the /r/waifu community.

Loneliest-Throwaway · 13時間前

Polygamy is banned. 2D and 3D.

But... but what about v_mayu?

As far as I could tell v_mayu's feelings were real, and I didn't think anyone on here had a problem with that...

ed4828 · 4時間前

I'm usually just lurking here but I think it is important that I take a position in this. First of all, I agree with both rules being enforced. I am against polygamy but I really can't judge or look they down for it( for example vocaloid mayu). I think it's hard but necessary for the community to be more solid. Even when I don't participate much I always read everything here, and this will lead to more interesting posts so yeah, I hope the heat just ends soon.

GenOberst_H_Guderian · 6時間前

Such events are really sad to witness.

Now I'll share my point of view and I'll tell you a thing or two, I don't know how much will be long so I already apologize if you'll spot mistakes. Take whatever I'll say as a constructive criticism from someone who really cares about this community and wishes only the best to it and to all its members.

1.) Polygamy is banned. 2D and 3D.

Now that's really a harsh decision, I can see your point, you're worried about important values like loyalty and devotion and that's honorable. Personally I would never be able to love more than a person at the same time, no matter if 2D or 3D; yet I like to have a live-and-let-live attitude in here especially because in this community I met people with two waifus who loved them at the same way and who were really committed in their love (Have these people really already been banned without a single chance to speak in their defence?), I think that love can really come in every form.

2.) Casuals, Hugblanketers, and Headcanon

Again I can see your point but still I don't think if I can share it. Now people who aren't really committed in their waifus are pointless here, that's a fact, but I believe that they should be invited to leave rather than banned, specially because how can we possibly trace a line about this? How can we tell if someone is really committed or not? Didn't you considered the fact that doing so you might ban someone who really cares about his/her waifu?

I only heard about this /r/WaifuismTH but I didn't know they were against this subreddit. That's really sad, how can groups whose main thematic is love fight each other? How a noble and pure feeling like love can generate hate and distrust? That's a big unhappy contradiction.

No one here wants this happy and joyful community becoming a sort of police regime. I'm the first who wants to put his trust in you, just please don't betray it.

Koakuma_Throwaway · 20時間前

I don't know how I feel about this, but I have a few things to say. Mostly I'll be focused on the last part, regarding headcanon. My interpretation of Koakuma is significantly different than her "canon" interpretation. This is because I created a version of her character. She has her own personality, flaws and desires, before I knew that there was a "canon personality". She is, for all intents and purposes, a character. However, she is more of an OC than an "canon" Koakuma.

So what, am I suddenly in a "casual" relationship with her, because I fell in love with her in this way? I know that we have disagreements regarding OC waifus, but would that be a valid reason to ban somebody like me? Do I really want to be in a community where I consistently have to look over my back and see if I'm posting the "right" thing? I don't know anymore.

Fire_and_Red · 20時間前

So how are you planning on figuring out who is serious and who is casual?

ryukoisbestgirl · 21時間前

wew lad, its begun

PM_ME_CUTE_MEGANEKKO · 20時間前

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20時間前

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Random_Shitposter · 11時間前

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Random_Shitposter · 9時間前

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Faust91x · 18時間前

Can't say I like the new rules since I usually oppose all censorship unless its related to stopping trolls. Also think everyone should be free to love how they want and fear this could turn into a witch hunt like the one the LGBT community has suffered. Anyway since I don't plan on trying polygamy or dating I suppose it shouldn't be much of a problem to me. Let's see how the sub does.

Sir_Waffles_ · 17時間前

I think this is good for both communities. This sub has always had an issue with its vague rules, "serious committed relationships" could be interpreted in many different ways by anyone so a solid foundation for what is and is not allowed here is a good thing. And for those who are affected by these new rules or simply disagree with them, /r/waifuismTH is there as an alternative.

I hope that members of either community can still remain friends with each other, despite their differing beliefs in what waifuism is.

waifuism

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