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How to be silent (self.becomeaman)

googlemybulldog が 投稿

Just interested in how can I man the fuck up and be silent like a fucking wolf. I constantly laugh or talk when people with me and I hate it.

Just a man 20years with lots of self doubt and bad self discipline that will change no matter what.

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[–]delux_bg 6ポイント7ポイント  (4子コメント)

And here i am struggling to start talking and have fun with other people.

[–]The_Turbinator 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

Same here - I can not comprehend how people have trouble not speaking.

[–]fernandizzel 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Imagine a flood of thoughts relevant to the situation that at the moment seem like the greatest stories, joke, or related thought. The thoughts are so much better than what's being said that it's criminal you're not talking. The words feel like they're piling up up on the edge of your tongue and it takes all your might to hold them back. So you interrupt or maybe you don't, but you don't listen because you're so set on getting your thought out asap, the second there's a pause.

You blabber on and later realize you didn't say anything great, probably interrupted someone and didn't hear anything said. And you feel like an asshole.

[–]The_Turbinator 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That is a good description.

The way it is with me; before I even say anything I've already thought about, analyzed, and taught about again 4 steps ahead of what I am going to say before I even say it. And even then - when I start the delivery there is some hesitation and re-analyzing.

I guess that is the difference between an introvert and an extrovert.

The worst part for me is - I love social interactions! I love talking with people and being in social situations, but the overanalyzing most of the time tears me apart. It is very frustrating, but kind of funny.

[–]delux_bg 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Happens to me as well, having lots of thoughts, but most of them are left unexpressed. I also think about what I'm about to say next, but that's because i have some kind of automated response of being judged or always wanting to say the right thing.

[–]badfan 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

From what I've heard, it comes from confidence and being comfortable with not having to feel like you need to fill silence.

[–]quasimoto127 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

When in a conversation with a group, just listen to everyone else, then talk. Think about what you can say that is succinct and to the point. Less talking raises the value of when you do speak, because of how much less you speak.

[–]illimitableMan34 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I have the same problem with that as well. I don't know how to explain it, but I'm not as silent as when I'm at home than at school.

[–]Avskygod0 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

wat

it's fine to fucking laugh at funny shit, it becomes a problem when you start smiling fakely at everything with forced laugh, that pisses everyone off