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Dealing with women's sexual pasts (self.TheRedPill)

Robert_Robz が 投稿

Today I would like to address an issue that might have been have run into at some point in your life. Especially if you have adopted a more RP lifestyle. I can hardly make my peace with the sexual history of girls.

Personal background (optional)

I am 18 and still in highschool. I have come to learn about the RP from an early age mainly by finding PUA texts on the internet. Products from people like David DeAngelo, Mystery and Vin DiCarlo have helped me see the flaws in behaviour. Unfortunately I felt too young and incapable of applying a lot of that advice. That is no longer the case. I have started practicing calisthenics at home (I find them safer and I like the benefits more, research Convict Conditioning for more info) and deprogramming the beta training I received from mainstream culture. I don't feel beta anymore and feel like I have drive and purpose.

Bottom line is, I started having success and hanging out with more like minded individuals.

My issue

About a month ago I hooked up with this girl. She is the type of girl I don't feel is threatening my RP progress. We fuck like rabbits and she lets me do whatever the fuck I want with her and she is rather hot. The issue is that I have learned that she has had anal sex with a guy she liked about a year ago (she hasn’t had any sexual contact besides that until we hooked up). After finding out I felt somewhat threatened and when I remember that I still get angry at the thought.

Generalization

First of all, I o ly brought this up because the problem is becoming more and more widespread. Girls are becoming more and more empowered and the female imperative is allowing them to do whatever the fuck they want and have countless sexual partners and popular culture is making the feel okay with being sluts and we men are supposed to forgive that and take them as they are. I have one more year of pre-college to do and most girls I know have had at least one sexual partner. Theoretically, this means more sex for alpha males, but I find that is just making me angry. Evolutionary psychology says we are wired to avoid promiscuous females due to sperm competition, but I believe that hatred starts to arise because females have a much easier time finding new sexual partners that do males. To get laid as a male you have to work on your deprogramming and constantly make yourself better.

How I have been dealing with it

To make sure I don't feel threatened by the idea I have been making an effort to be better in bed. I fuck her until she can't think straight and work out and diet. I also make a point to occasionally make a joke about the experience to make her associate shame with the experience and condition her to be loyal and feel like she can lose me anytime to hotter girls. That makes her work considerably harder to please me.

I am new to this reddit. Any opinions, advice or personal experience is welcome.

How do you guys deal with histories?

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[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 16ポイント17ポイント  (6子コメント)

EDIT: This post is probably going to get deleted because it belongs in asktrp, not here, but I've already responded, so yeah:

I'm an older guy (42) and for me the way to deal with it long ago had been to fuck so many women and do all the sexual things I wanted that it stopped mattering who used to do what with whom way back when.

Your approach looks good too, except I would not do the whole anal slut shaming thing. It brings attention to the thing in a bad way.

If you want anal from her, by all means push for it (how is an entirely different topic) but not in a butthurt way, not like it's some shameful thing, and not like she owes it to you because she used to do it with the other guy.

She knows perfectly well that this thing bothers you, or she wouldn't have told you about her experience with the other guy.

If you continue to bring it up to shame her (even in jokes), she'll start using it against you.

Instead, be like: "Anal? Whoa, that's really hot, I like when a girl is adventurous in bed, I'm looking forward to exploring this experience" blabbity blabbity blah.

The choice of words is up to you, but you need to spin it like a positive thing that you want to get in on too!

[–]NewbieOnPoint 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

"She knows perfectly well that this thing bothers you, or she wouldn't have told you about her experience with the other guy"

That's right. That was a shit test. He failed it.

[–]Robert_Robz[S] 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

I already got anal. I thought about the shit test thing but the thing is she wasn't the source of the info. I learned from one of her friends.

I know that caring about that is beta and I make a point of not caring and NEVER showing that. Yet it still bothers me.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUrsusG 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yet it still bothers me.

It's natural and will only change with age and experience.

Be the best fucker you can be, get your pleasure, give her pleasure and DGAF about anything else.

I learned from one of her friends.

Oh. Then you do realize it could be a straight up lie, right?

Maybe the friend is jealous, maybe he or she wants to rustle your jimmies and fuck up your thing with the girl?

If it's other people you heard it from, that's even more reason not to give a single flying fuck about it.

[–]Robert_Robz[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yeah, I try to condition myself to not care and I hope it goes away as I continue to add experience under my belt. Thank guys.

[–]NewbieOnPoint 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Honestly dude, you are 18? fml! You got great mentality, I can tell; it's only upwards if you keep that kind of mind and keep working on yourself.

[–]1Thenextprince 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Women = Slut. That simple. Instead of hating it, embrace it. Sluts are great. I ❤ thotties. Honestly the only reason sluts should bother you is if you're looking to LTR/Make a family.

[–]mavericksteve 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

When I was 18 I had the same kind of insecurity. Yes, it's an insecurity. Now at 20, 2 insignificant years later, I've realized her history just doesn't fucking matter except for 2 instances; LTR or if you suspect she's a nasty slut with a bunch of STDs.

When I was 18 I was obsessing with my gf's history at the time. That was LTR & still shouldn't have happened.

Let it go and learn not to give a fuck. It doesn't matter, bottom line. Compete with yourself, not others.

[–]EMON87 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're too young to have racked up a nasty little sex history of your own. Give it....I dunno, 4-5 years and I'm certain you won't care any more.

Source: Slept with over 130 women. Done some nasty, nasty shit. Lie out my ass whenever asked about my number (I just say 7), don't ever ask them for their number as a result. I don't care.

[–]legion327 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

To be honest, this might only be bothering you because of your age. All the girls you know are either virgins or, like the girl in your story, have only been with one guy. In another 5 years, you'll be lucky to find one who's had less than 5 partners. And quite frankly, it won't bother you that much anymore because it will be more normal to you. Regardless, a woman's sexual history should be of no interest to you. Being threatened by what some other guy has done with her puts that guy above you in the pecking order in her mind because you're threatened by another guy. If you instead have the confidence to think that you're fucking her better than he ever even thought about, then she'll see that confidence and now you're the prize, my young friend.

[–]Endorsed Contributor2comment 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I stopped worrying about it the moment I just kept it to myself, in the sense that I gauge women (or people in general) silently and don't need to emote about it. If one fucked around a lot, then I don't judge her out loud, I just note that that's what she's good for and relegate her to fuckfriend and never tell her beyond refusing to be her exclusive boyfriend or anything. If the women in your life aren't the source of your entire ego, it makes it easier. So an identity outside of women and their ephemeral validation.

So what is, is. And if LTR material presents itself, great, if it doesn't I still got my plate full, great. I don't try to push the people into mental molds of my own making in that sense, it just increases the lying and self-delusion. Women are water, if you present an obvious container to them, they'll appear to fit within it. Try to present something as formless as well to see what they naturally do.

In exchange, I feel perfectly fine relegating useless and second-tier people in my life to the backshelf of my life.

To make sure I don't feel threatened by the idea I have been making an effort to be better in bed.

That's great, but you're still using a woman as your yardstick. If this is really your goal, be your own judge, don't ask for validation and be needy (as so many men will be, and then hear from their girlfriend that they have a special magical dick, the only one that gave them any pleasure), just observe the results and self-analyse.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fantastic advice. There will always be some guy better looking, taller, with a better cock, more game, more money, fame, whatever. She is with you at this moment because you went for it and she wants it. Enjoy her for what there is to enjoy and move on. Besides, virgins are usually lame. Concentrate on you and the ladies will swarm.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMattyAnon 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Evolutionary psychology says we are wired to avoid promiscuous females

We fuck sluts. We don't commit to them. (Don't marry anyone btw).

I have been making an effort to be better in bed

Excellent plan.

How do you guys deal with histories?

By keeping my options open, and realising that the insecurities are my problem.

We all get them - it's how you handle them that matters.

[–]nevva_Again 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

You want to have sex with a girl without her having sex with you? You want to increase your n count without increasing that of the girl? How is that possible?

Just like you feel insecure because another guy had anal with her, the next guy to have sex with her may also feel insecure because you fucked her so much that she couldn't walk or think straight... And the next guy, and the next guy after that... You get the picture?

You can't have sex with a girl and still expect her to remain a prude. The same way you fuck her till she cannot think straight, another guy is going to fuck her till she goes unconscious.

I can hardly make my peace with the sexual history of girls.

If you are having going to have sex with random girls, then know that she's also having sex random guys. No matter how good you fuck her, another dude will fuck her better. Accept it and live with it. That's reality.

[–]Robert_Robz[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

I haven't really tought of it that way. But you really have a point. Thinking of her as property is beta/provider thinking. Innate programming. Thanks for putting it so simply.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

"The pussy is not yours, it's just your turn."

[–]Endorsed Contributor2comment 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you are having going to have sex with random girls, then know that she's also having sex random guys.

It doesn't work like that. There is no karma in life beyond pissing people off enough that they get back at you.

As a counter-example: If you remain a straight true virgin, she will still fuck other guys.

There is no fairness or reciprocity principle at work here. I had friends who fucked everybody including the cleaning lady marry virgins (or extremely low n-count). I know male virgins that married the town bicycle.

In both cases, it came from the standards (or lack of) they exacted in their lives.

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

Don't let her past anger you. It is entirely possible her friends told you that she did anal just to make you think poorly of her. Or anything she tells you about her past may be a lie designed to make you more interested, or to hurt you. It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

[–]casemodsalt 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Never talk to a girls friends. If she has friends and you ever have to deal with them, just drop her. It's not worth it.

[–]Robert_Robz[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That is very wise advice from several perspectives. Thanks

[–]Eyes_Of_The_Dragon 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

All women have friends. You can glean useful info from them even if they're trying to sabotage your relationship. Mild flirting with her friends can sometimes work out in your favor.

[–]OymyakonIsCold 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not entirely related to the topic but consider yourself lucky to have become RP early on. Over the next few years you'll probably get loads of pussy and some sad sack BetaBobs will end up putting a ring and committing to each and every one of them. They'll kiss a mouth that sucked your cock with lust. Just in time for their sexual prime too.

[–]Robert_Robz[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I will try my best, brother

[–]thundgreen 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Bro give it some time jesus you're only 18.