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[–]mizmooseHated At Every Size 75ポイント76ポイント  (7子コメント)

WELCOME TO THE LIBERTARIAN TEXT ADVENTURE

 

You are standing in an open field. In front of you is a mailbox. To your west is the side of a house. What do you do?

>open mailbox

You open the mailbox. Inside is a letter. It has been delivered by UXPS, a private company that delivers mail to your area, because the government should not be wasting money on useless things like mail delivery. What do you do?

>open letter

You open the letter, not noticing that the edge of the paper is coated in some sort of metal. The metal slices your finger open, badly. You are bleeding everywhere. The letter is getting soaked. What do you do?

>take phone, check bank balance

You know that health care only goes to those who can afford it, so you want to check your bank balance. Unfortunately, you are in an area without sufficient coverage for your phone, because there aren't enough residents to have bought into a local cell tower.

You are still bleeding. What do you do?

>wrap finger with letter

The letter is not solid enough to stop the bleeding. The paper quickly becomes soaked, obscuring the words so that you can never read it. You bleed to death.

Game over. Your score: 20/1000000

[–]Osiris32assistant sound tech in the world of internet drama [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

Can I choose the Librarian version now?

[–]seanlax5 [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Just whisper the previous comments quite loudly.

[–]jmkiii [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Death by papercut. Checkmate, Libertarians!

[–]pepperouchauFuck you and your ducks. [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

>more than 3 points on first run

this shit is too casual imma go play Nethack

[–]SuperSalsaSuperPopcorn [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Unfortunately, you cannot afford grue-control squads, and your area has no electricity at the moment thanks to wire-cutting wars between rival power companies.

[–]kriegkopf [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

As an aware private citizen in this free market utopia, I would like to engage in civil litigation with everybody possible over the injuries I sustained from opening the letter.