Filmmaker keeps a constant vigil over his Amazon pages
Blood Reservoir review
"Oh yes, this film that I just happened across that I have no connection to is really quite spectacular. Good shot director I am not!"
Aleister review
"And this! This film reminds me of some other great works! Serendipity!"
You don't know what you're talking about!
"Look at all the other five-star reviews that match my bad punctuation and sentence structure, which I totally didn't write... just like I didn't write the bad punctuation in this movie! Average moviegoer here!"
You don't like sex scenes?! Fool!
"You're dangerously unqualified to review this masterpiece! Just watching that fuzzy sex scene didn't make you want to find a foreign orifice to fill?!"
Five minutes
"I keep a constant vigil over how far into the movie people should abandon all hope."
Cinematographer's input
"We weren't a bunch of friends and no fun was had..."
Cinematographer
"I shot the film and I agree; your five year-olds could make a better movie than this grown man."