Some small questions, refining the Frame

maxofreddit · 7時間前

Dude...this is so good...it acknowledges & deflects, and doesn't let you get sucked in.

Thanks

maxofreddit · 19時間前

Ah...that's why it doesn't feel right. And yes the changes I'm making are, but once again, I'm assuming there's no need to mention specifics, since then it about getting her to notice.

A good response would be more along the lines of, "Actually, turns out I'm making changes to our sex life starting today, you better get ready, baby!" or, "I've got a few things in mind."

..or something along those lines? That seems to show ownership but also in a way a little not giving a shit. Once again, any help is appreciated!

Edit - clarity/2nd example

maxofreddit · 1日前

I started tracking her cycle about a year ago after reading Athol Kay's stuff. The immediate effect was changing our date nights to coincide with the most opportune time. This alone allowed major progress to be made. It REALLY makes a difference (for us anyway), as in, the minute she starts her period, I'm suddenly not an asshole anymore and I haven't changed a thing.

I mean, I almost have compassion for her, getting horny like guys do is one thing, but being a total slave to your hormones must just suck.

maxofreddit · 1日前

Seriously, Get No More Mr. Nice Guy. It's not really about techniques (like in Sex God Method) unless she's willing to actually have sex with you.

That shit woke me the fuck up. As in the world doesn't work the way you think. Get it, read it, then read it again taking notes.

maxofreddit · 1日前

I'm realizing more and more the power of letting her stew on her own. Learning how to harness the hamster grants one great power.

maxofreddit · 1日前

Ha!! Note taken...

Time to get back to minimum of 2 plates when squatting.

maxofreddit · 1日前

NOOB FOLLOW-UP

start taking her to social events where all the women are way hotter and fit than she is.

On the ride home, when she says either,

"Those girls were _____(superfit, crazy, had big glutes), I think that's too much." I should just keep quiet, yes?

Alternatively, "You seemed pretty flirty with some of those ladies. Do you like that look?, because I don't, I like a dancer's body." -- My intuition says, "I like anyone's body where I can tell they work hard and take pride in how they look & feel."

Just unsure how to escalate without making her feel like she doesn't have to do anything more, you know?

maxofreddit · 1日前

Responded below, but felt I should here as well.

Noted, time for a strength cycle. I've got some volume planned for this week anyway, I'll up the ante. I got through my 3 sets of 20 at 185lbs without puking, so I can push it this week.

I'm down with supersets, it's kinda what CrossFit is anyway, and the faster I can be in & out of the gym, and still push-it, the more time for other stuff. One of my favorites is back squats supersetted with L-pull-ups on the back squat bar when it's racked. Being closer to the ground at the bottom of the pull-up makes you keep your feet higher and makes it harder to cheat the L-sit. Good, grueling stuff.

If I do hit the other local gym, I'll go at off hours, to avoid the lines. I detest them.

maxofreddit · 1日前

thanks again,

just to clarify, you guys think I should be repping 350? Are there a lot of 40+ yr old guys that do this who are 6'/185lbs? (If that's the case, I've got some work and eating to do)

I'll look back at the BPP comments, if I'm asking the same fucking question, then I obviously haven't made any fucking changes. Shit.

And yes, I could do better about finding playful ways to constantly escalate. I do find that she responds to it. It's almost a habit for me now, but still have little slip-ups when I'm not on point.

maxofreddit · 2日前

Haha...I hear this is Alec Baldwin's voice.

Noted.

maxofreddit · 2日前

Once she is not the most attractive in a group her hamster will do all the work for you.

Dude..solid stuff right there. We need to get out a bit more anyway, it'll be good to find a sexier crowd to be around. We're in LA, so Hollywood should provide plenty of 10's to be around. ;)

As far as the lifting, I can deadlift 2x+ bodyweight, but squatting is another story, between long legs, a hip tweak in highschool and now that I'm in my 40's, that double-bw back squat amy not happen. (The hip tweak makes my entire left leg tingle when I go really heavy, like 350+ on the deadlift). Like someone hit a funny bone in my left leg, not making excuses, just don't want to injure myself) I can squat bodyweight for 20 reps (according to this chart, that puts me at double bodyweight for 1, though the most I've ever done is 275 for 1, cuz the leg). And am going to start working up to Dan John's suggestion of 50 reps back squat with bodyweight. I wouldn't say it sounds like fun, but I think it's more doable than a 370lb back squat. And my body seems to respond a little better to the volume training than the lower rep stuff.

I've actually toyed with getting a membership at the local body builder gym, for less than $15, they have a couple of machines I just don't have room for at my place. Sure I can make it work at my place by jerry-rigging stuff, but sometimes just having different tools is jsut makes shit faster/easier.

Side note - Although a lot of CrossFitters poo-poo body building, I started with Arnold's Encyclopedia when I was a teenager, body builders do amazing shit, and there's a place for everything, even yoga. Even now, when I do a bodybuilder-ish workout, I find, because of the CrossFit stuff, I can go harder/more intense, since my conditioning is really good.

Thanks for the notes and the call-out on the lifting, I'll see if I can up the volume of the body-building/heavy stuff to ramp my shit up a bit more.

maxofreddit · 2日前

I should've been more forthright, I actually own a CrossFit gym. She has total access. I'm even cool if she doesn't do CrossFit...do pilates, yoga, ANYTHING to get sweaty and stronger.

If I can crack the code, I will share, for sure.

EDIT - Re: Dishes - amplifying/funny business (as others have mentioned) seems to fall in with my nature a little better, thanks for your note.

maxofreddit · 2日前

I'm realizing this more and more. If it comes up again, I assume it should just be, "I'm not," and stop talking, go do something? Seriously, it helps me to think things out a bit beforehand, it's when I'm going off the cuff that I seem to come out of situations with that twinge of, "that wasn't honest."

This seems very weird/ackward to try to agree/amplify, or joke away. A sarcastic, "Yeah, TOTally satisfied," seems just like stirring the pot for no reason.

Any assistance/exmaple would be awesome, thanks for your own brutal truth.

EDIT - It would also seem that a "list of demands" would be weird as well. It puts the power back in her hands or something. It doesnt' feel right either, but I'm a little at a loss.

Thanks again for prompting a noob.

maxofreddit · 2日前

I think I can pull of a little T-800 from time to time...

maxofreddit · 2日前

I'm generally a happy guy too, enough so that when we got some marriage coaching a while back, there was an issue that "everything is funny/a joke." I get that sometimes shit just ain't funny, but way more often than not, it is, indeed funny.

I'm pretty good at keeping it light, since it's in my nature, but I can get derailed sometimes. Now that I think about it, I think it has a lot to do with her cycle. Shit. That means I'm still affected by her and need to do more work to be ok with me.

Nice notes though, I like this style, since it's more me than Mr. Hardcore Alpha. And I agree that the most confident-alpha guys find most stuff entertaining/funny. Great to steer things in that direction whenever I can .

maxofreddit · 2日前

I'm all for stealing ;)

Edit - as long as it's from the best

maxofreddit · 2日前

Nice stuff here, will use Terminator at strategic times now...good ammo there.

maxofreddit · 2日前

I do have to remember that keeping it fun & playful is up to me, not her. Some days are easier to keep this way, others are not...progress is being made on having better control over all the days.

maxofreddit · 2日前

Everything is a chance to escalate, if you do it right.

Well said, keeping this in mind will really help.

maxofreddit · 2日前

This...thanks both of you...I've been at this for only a short time & every so often just need little reminders from the RP crew here on things that I know aren't quite right, but don't have the longevity/experience to just naturally know what to do. I know it's off, that's why I needed a little nudge/reminder.

maxofreddit · 2日前

Dude...that breathing properly actually got a lol from me...

I'm gonna use that little ditty a lot for my mental translations, thanx

maxofreddit · 2日前

You see they weigh first, come to a conclusion and then rationalize.

This...this...this... good god I wish I learned this sooner...

Just...the most accurate ever

maxofreddit · 4日前

THANKyou for that link...I tend to "over-intellectualize" with my wife...this post fuckin spoke to me.

maxofreddit · 4日前

THIS...order even a beater bar from Rogue, it'll be around $200 with shipping but you'll only buy it once in your life, we use rogue bars in our gym, and beat the shit out them daily in a commerical setting, they made for real lifting.

Edit - looked up the price, it's definately the best value you're going to find, dude.

maxofreddit

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