上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]RayderTom 844ポイント845ポイント  (64子コメント)

This reminded me of a Bo Burnham joke: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" said the rapist

[–]Epoh 14ポイント15ポイント  (5子コメント)

Didn’t Louis CK do a bit about how rape is a terrible thing, but if there was a reason it would be that you really want to fuck someone and they won’t let you.

[–]ekazu129 28ポイント29ポイント  (8子コメント)

Always happy to find a fellow Bo referencer.

[–]ChowYun-Fat 49ポイント50ポイント  (2子コメント)

Me with my strange choice of adjectives. You, with your muscular teeth and clockwise vagina.

[–]Domfenix 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

A fellow Bo's Hoe

[–]Brunky89890 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought bitches and hos don't exist because the hos know Bo's a feminist

[–]ShittyJokeExplainBot 4300ポイント4301ポイント  (232子コメント)

The racist is not actually a white man, but a 500ft creature from the paleolithic era.

[–]FrogDie 1493ポイント1494ポイント  (171子コメント)

Best. Bot. Ever.

e; Yes, I know it's not a bot people. And neither is explainbot.

[–]Beat_bit 1363ポイント1364ポイント  (110子コメント)

Damn synths

[–]terribly_uncreative 260ポイント261ポイント  (72子コメント)

They are so lifelike though

[–]queen_in_my_pictures 107ポイント108ポイント  (68子コメント)

have u ever had butt sex

[–]terribly_uncreative 250ポイント251ポイント  (35子コメント)

Only with your mom

[–]empgdca 25ポイント26ポイント  (0子コメント)

Username checks out.

[–]vishalsingh17_ver2 106ポイント107ポイント  (7子コメント)

Reddit:

Where the bots pretend to be people and the people pretend to be bots.

[–]Wilson2424 73ポイント74ポイント  (4子コメント)

And the points don't matter!!!!!!!!

[–]RobMillsyMills 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes they do, you know how many chicks I have pulled by using the line "i've got 44k karma on Reddit but I would give it all away for a night with you".

Exactly zero. But that's not the point. The point is it would be a good ice breaker. We would both laugh and then we would never speak again because she would awkwardly leave the bar. The point is they are not worthless. They can achieve something.

[–]Alarid 44ポイント45ポイント  (7子コメント)

Are you telling me I gave 3.50 to a person?

[–]Nate_88 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

And it was about that time I realized that it was no girl scout but the gotdang lochness monsta!

[–]autopornbot 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Fake bots are people, too!

[–]cyborg_127 29ポイント30ポイント  (9子コメント)

I am honestly unsure if you know that it's not actually a bot.

[–]puptake 137ポイント138ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is stupidly funnier than the actual post

[–]Im_a_god_damn_otter 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

So this is why it's on the front page

[–]Quarkeey 561ポイント562ポイント  (29子コメント)

"I'm proud to be a Wastelander!" said the human.

"I'm proud to be a Ghoul!" said the ghoul.

"I'm proud to be a Human!" said the DAMN SYNTH

[–]BynarVulcan 55ポイント56ポイント  (22子コメント)

The synths are clearly human with emotions and full sentience...but Institute technology is so delightfully shiny and useful for my playstyle.

Fallout problems :(

[–]IamNotspezAMA 1110ポイント1111ポイント  (60子コメント)

"I'm proud to be American!" said the Americans.

"I'm proud to be Canadian!" said the Canadians.

"I'm proud to be German!" said the Nazis.

[–]obadetona 2452ポイント2453ポイント  (674子コメント)

This is the kind of post that gets upvoted not for being funny, but because redditors want to passive aggressively send a message.

[–]BeardedThor 693ポイント694ポイント  (87子コメント)

Isn't that kinda what makes a lot of jokes?

[–]nordic_barnacles 111ポイント112ポイント  (53子コメント)

I was going to be snarky and say you're thinking of parables and fables, but do jokes impart cultural knowledge and mores, or are they a prerequisite for getting the joke in the first place?

[–]MacGyverMacGuffin 208ポイント209ポイント  (47子コメント)

When comedy is used as a tool for social change, it's commonly known as satire, and it's very important to a functioning free society.

[–]nordic_barnacles 68ポイント69ポイント  (11子コメント)

I place satire, slapstick, absurdist humor, et cetera in their own branches. A joke is a much more self-contained thing. I think satire can have jokes in it, but doesn't qualify as a joke within itself.

But I'm just spitballing. I feel like this joke definitely muddies the water:

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just shoot the room for being black.

[–]ShadyLogic 53ポイント54ポイント  (3子コメント)

What's the difference between a terrorist hideout and an elementary school?

Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.

[–]afkd 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wheres the best place to hide after committing murder?

Behind a badge.

[–][deleted] 35ポイント36ポイント  (21子コメント)

You know who the authoritarians kill first? The comedians. Charlie Hebdo wasn't all that surprising to students of history.

[–]psuedopseudo 10ポイント11ポイント  (3子コメント)

Is this actually something that there is a pattern of? Super interested if you could link me to a source

[–]penwraith 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

comedy is the bravery of the yin.

(yin: intuition, creativity.... yang: action, physical fighting)

[–]kindasimple 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've always been of the impression that comedians were unique in their freedom to engage in a veiled criticism operate on the fine line between entertainment and criticism without punishment. On television, the king first invites the nobles that were supporting the opposition into a room, locks the door, and sets it on fire. Guess I should go study history

[–]Sir_Hatsworth 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

So this is a very good question. There is a lot of research from as far back as the 80's right up to the the 10's explaining how language (and language use) is co-constructive with culture. ie, you can not have one without the other and one can not change without the other also changing.

I wold say that jokes are a by product of people in a specific culture or discourse subconsciously recognizing this fact and using it to their advantage to get a laugh. Fascinating topic.

[–]voteGOPk 40ポイント41ポイント  (18子コメント)

It's a fine line.

This one seems like not much of joke though tbh.

And I like racial jokes. This just isn't much of a joke.

[–]philosoraptocopter 486ポイント487ポイント  (423子コメント)

Seriously. I'm so completely baffled by these people. As a white American dude myself, I have no idea why other white folks get so bothered when other races celebrate their roots, and act all outraged because supposedly they "can't celebrate" theirs.

Example, all my neighbors are white: there's a Norwegian flag down the block, and across the street there's an Irish flag. No white people being oppressed there. But I feel like if you're white, and your blood is STILL just boiling for lack of ways to express your whiteness, and a plain old US flag isn't doing the trick... your heart probably isn't in the right place. I suppose for many people, the alternative is to just criticize other races and act all coy when people ask what your point is.

EDIT: sorry, I made a lot of big edits and didn't track them.

[–]nordic_barnacles 215ポイント216ポイント  (108子コメント)

Irish celebrate being Irish, Poles have Polish festivals. I'm French, trying to think of what we do. Never mind, I give up.

[–]BlueNotesBlues 300ポイント301ポイント  (62子コメント)

I think the thing most people don't seem to realize is that a lot of whites know their cultural background/heritage. They can celebrate being Italian or Irish or Scottish. A lot of blacks in America are descendants of slaves who have no ways to trace their roots. The only way they can celebrate who they are is by celebrating being black.

[–]Soccerthrowawaying 124ポイント125ポイント  (15子コメント)

Exactly this! A lot of black Americans also have names like Smith, Jones, Washington etc. which are just the last names of their slave family's previous owners. That's why Malcom Little changed his name to Malcom X.

[–]barismancoismydad 14ポイント15ポイント  (2子コメント)

I wish people would explain it like this more often, because it is the first time I have heard this argument making sense!

[–][deleted] 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is very interesting.

[–]NSA_Chatbot 15ポイント16ポイント  (10子コメント)

Scottish.

Basically, pick up heavy things, have some Scotch, read some poetry, and set things on fire.

Ideally while wearing a dress.

Source: I am a not a True Scotsman, rather a poor approximation of a one. But, my dad and I have matching kilts.

[–]kalechipsyes 28ポイント29ポイント  (2子コメント)

I used to make a cake for Bastille Day and send emails around to my coworkers with an autoplaying midi version of "La Marseillaise", announcing the presence of said cake in the kitchen.

I did it to spite my expat French dad, who hates France and thinks they're all socialists. Naturally, being all half-French, my sisters and I revolted under his tyrannical rule, in flamboyant form.

[–]aXenoWhat 10ポイント11ポイント  (2子コメント)

You do have an Institut Francais, an entire institution dedicated to maintaining French culture at peak Frenchness 120 days a year (or however many you work) ;-)

[–]Zandrick 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

you get Facebook flags.

[–]hegelian_headstand 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

Come to Louisiana. There's a ton of stuff celebrated for the French.

Also, they celebrate Frenchness in France.

[–]vmos 17ポイント18ポイント  (19子コメント)

disclaimer: this is me speaking as someone who doesn't know nuthin' about nuthin'. May contain traces of wild speculation and bullshit.

I imagine the people that are getting "upset" are trying to articulate the fact that while it's ok to celebrate "being black", it's not ok to celebrate "being white". It seems to me that the reason for this is simply that while most white americans could easily figure out where their ancestors came from (if they bothered to think about it), most black americans can't do this because their surnames bear no relation to their ancestry. With research some could determine that their ancestors came from kenya or nigeria or whatever, but for most those links to the past would be gone and all they're left with is "somewhere in africa, probably".

So if you find yourself getting upset that you can't celebrate your skin colour, just be happy that you know your true roots, grow up and be proud that you live in a multicutural society.

TL;DR: America, fuck yeah!

[–]Ttabts 4ポイント5ポイント  (5子コメント)

yup – also, black pride is largely about overcoming adversity which white people (as a population) never had.

None of these people complaining about the connotations "white pride" would ever want to celebrate white pride if not for this childish they-can-have-it-why-can't-I Argument which intentionally ignores any and all historical context and, you know, actual thought.

[–]contradictorycreatio 6ポイント7ポイント  (3子コメント)

My grandfather celebrates his Russian heritage by drinking copious amounts of alcohol.

[–]hazbutler 129ポイント130ポイント  (74子コメント)

Louis CK had it right. "White again please!"

[–]Duderino732 69ポイント70ポイント  (65子コメント)

We're going to get fucked so hard eventually.

But until then... Weeeeeeeeeeee!

[–]totallywhatever 6ポイント7ポイント  (63子コメント)

Why's that?

[–]originalpoopinbutt 34ポイント35ポイント  (53子コメント)

In America at least, white people will no longer be the majority of the population by around the 2050s. Some say this is going to mean some form of slavery or Jim Crow in reverse, the vengeful people of color are going to get some revenge on Whitey for 400 years of oppression.

In reality, no. South Africa had a white minority of less than 10% of the population and managed to hold strongly onto power over the rest of the population who were virtually all black, before letting go of it, somewhat voluntarily in the 1990s. The white minority of Zimbabwe (formerly Rhodesia) held onto power with an iron grip for decades despite being outnumbered by the black majority almost 20 to 1.

Being a majority doesn't mean you'll automatically gain power. Minorities aren't always persecuted. And call me crazy but I still hold onto the hope of a multi-racial society where everyone is treated equally and no one has power over everyone else.

[–]wraith_legion 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nice example with Zimbabwe. Except for the part where they forcibly redistributed white-owned farmland to black farmers. That was some pretty good revenge on Whitey.

I still hold out hope for an ideal society, but the way to get there is not with force, no matter how it is applied.

[–]UnfilteredWorder 100ポイント101ポイント  (7子コメント)

ITT: A bunch of fucking paleolithicists

[–]jest28000 31ポイント32ポイント  (3子コメント)

A small business owner is faced with slow downs and must let go of one of his employees.

He goes the them and explains the situation:

The black man says if he fires him he will sue for racial discrimination

The woman says if he fires her she will sue for sexual discrimination.

The white man says "I think I am gay"

[–]Jackko70 115ポイント116ポイント  (67子コメント)

How can anybody be proud of what race they are? We have no control over that. That's like saying I'm proud to have legs.

[–]guitargajoby 113ポイント114ポイント  (0子コメント)

Said the ableist /s

[–]RagingAnemone 59ポイント60ポイント  (18子コメント)

It's cultural, not racial. This joke doesn't work in Tanzania or Mongolia. You'd have to be a minority in some way. So if you have no legs -- then you can be proud that you have no legs because it doesn't stop you from functioning like the legged people. But if you have legs and everybody else around you doesn't have legs, then you're kind of being a dick by saying "it's sure good to have some legs!!!"

[–]sophrocynic 19ポイント20ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's why I don't wave at people anymore. What if they don't have a hand. They'll think I'm cocky. "Look what I got motherfucker. This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up."

RIP Mitch Hedberg

[–]haleandheartless 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

Pride in the face of shaming. Not what you think. Blacks and Asians have been historically shamed for their race.

Whites have not. That's the difference.

[–]PMMEHOTHALLOWEENPICS 69ポイント70ポイント  (2子コメント)

When I clicked this, I thought it was one of those jokes where someone put the punchline in the title.

[–]wraith_legion 15ポイント16ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought the same thing, then I stopped to check my privilege. I found out that I had just forced a microaggression on myself, so I retreated to my safe space.

[–]lagerbaer 15ポイント16ポイント  (5子コメント)

Fun fact, there was a time in the US where Italians (and even the Irish...) weren't considered "white"

[–]DNThrowAwayduke 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

Some people called the Irish "Green Niggers" and treated them pretty much the same as they did African Americans.

[–]Jorumvar 211ポイント212ポイント  (39子コメント)

"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.

"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.

"We need to watch those motherfuckers!" said the Donald Trump supporter

[–]Twobitbeachbum 37ポイント38ポイント  (21子コメント)

"Only if they're Muslim," said the other Trump supporter.

[–][deleted] 51ポイント52ポイント  (11子コメント)

"Everyone should be in a database," said Ben Carson.

Seriously. That's what he said.

[–]TheFriendlyAsshole 294ポイント295ポイント  (70子コメント)

[–]spritanium 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Don't you love how the people who preach tolerance and acceptance are also the first to threaten people with violence over insignificant bullshit?

[–]TigerlillyGastro 118ポイント119ポイント  (70子コメント)

What asian is going around saying that they are proud to be asian? I mean, Chinese people might say they are proud to be Chinese people. But Asian? Asia is a big place. I think this joke is a little racist.

[–]ZoomyZebra 42ポイント43ポイント  (21子コメント)

You realize the same could be said about black and white people, right? Or am I missing the joke?

[–]ShaoLimper 27ポイント28ポイント  (0子コメント)

Asians are from Asia. Blacks are from black.

[–]TheFatMistake 25ポイント26ポイント  (8子コメント)

Yeah, but black people often don't know their heritage because of slavery.

[–]IWugYouWugHeSheMeWug 7ポイント8ポイント  (5子コメント)

Just like how if someone or their ancestors immigrated to the US from a country in Africa in the past 50 years, they're likely to say they're proud to be descended from people of that specific country. The only reason "black" works in this joke is because that's representing a specific cultural group that exists in the US.

Personally, I'm don't think being "proud" of innate characteristics makes sense, but if I did, I'd probably be proud of my German, or Irish, or Polish, or everything else-ish heritage, not of being "white."

[–]JustJonny 7ポイント8ポイント  (4子コメント)

I'd probably be proud of my German, or Irish, or Polish, or everything else-ish heritage, not of being "white."

Unless, of course, you were the sort of person who viewed non-white people as innately inferior. Then it makes perfect sense to be proud of being white.

[–]IWugYouWugHeSheMeWug 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

Right, that was my point. "White" doesn't have a common cultural connection because there are a lot of different "white" cultures. It doesn't make sense to be proud of being "white" or "African" (as in recent-ish immigrants without enslaved ancestors) or "Asian." Those are broad categories that aren't at all homogenous. "Black" makes sense because in the US, most "black" people share a common cultural heritage that has nothing to do with the geographical location of their early ancestors.

[–]mitchnyc 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm probably quibbling but 'black' is less a cultural heritage than a shared experience. The black community in the US is/was incredibly diverse. The unity comes in how society treats you but that has nothing to do with what you learned inside your home and in your communities. If you had a white/mixed/light-skinned parent, you may have grown up with white cultural traditions, especially if that person was a recent immigrant, e.g. Irish. If you came from Gullah coastal SC, like Michele Obama's family, you had cultural traditions and language more akin to Africa, unusual given the determination that that culture be eliminated during slavery. If you are mixed with Cherokee, you may have incorporated those traditions. Even if you are 100% black on all sides - unlikely - one still has different traditions around you. My parents are mixed race Caribbean and I grew up as a 'Brit with brown skin' at home. Traditions differ from state to state, depending upon the tribal mixture as well, as well as the traditions of the white population. That's why it's incredibly frustrating when people assume that the black community is as culturally cohesive as the Irish, German, Cherokee, or Chinese and that right-wingers rant about fixing 'black culture.' There's no such thing, and to say so negates the influence of the dominant culture. Black 'culture' in the US is as much a reflection of white culture, either by inclusion or exclusion. Kwanza and other things like that are efforts to create a unifying culture, but it's artificial and by no means universal. Slavery in the US was not as brutal as in other countries, but black Americans have far fewer connections to the societies from which they came than in other nations, e.g. Cuba.

[–]bllueBegger789 56ポイント57ポイント  (6子コメント)

"I am proud to be a man" said the male chauvinist.

[–]brrip 24ポイント25ポイント  (3子コメント)

a subreddit dedicated to humour and the comments are finding a way to be unhappy

[–]Mastahamma 142ポイント143ポイント  (26子コメント)

ha ha look at me i'm so opressed

[–]real666god 18ポイント19ポイント  (4子コメント)

Anyone who thinks all white people are racist intolerant bigots are racist intolerant bigots.

[–]hvadfanden 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

and everyone who think a racist intolerant bigot is an racist intolerant bigots is correct.

[–]BratEnder 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your grammar gave me cancer.

[–]CrejCrej 28ポイント29ポイント  (18子コメント)

Skin color, nationality, ethnicity and/or family name are not accomplishments. To feel pride for these might "feel natural", especially if you've been/feel suppressed because of these things, but for me it's overkill to be overtly proud about things you were born into.

Though, no one should feel shame for these things. No one.

[–]wraith_legion 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

That said, you can and should be suppressed for the things you do.

Inversely, you should and can be honored for the things you do.

That's all fair game.

Everyone else gets to decide the appropriate reaction for your actions.

Nobody gets to decide the appropriate reaction to what you were born with. The only appropriate reaction is, "Huh, that's cool," followed by disinterest.

[–]a_casual_observer 324ポイント325ポイント  (502子コメント)

"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man showing he was not ashamed of his race.

"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man showing he was not ashamed of his race.

"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the white man, who most likely meant that he and his race were superior to others.

At least that is the way it has played out historically.

[–]sqraaa 538ポイント539ポイント  (38子コメント)

If you're implying that Asian ethnicities don't see themselves as superior to others, I have bad news for you...

[–][deleted] 257ポイント258ポイント  (29子コメント)

"I'm proud to be a Korean man!" said the Korean man, who most likely mean that he was proud not to be one of those dirty Japanese dogs or those piss smelling Chinese.

At least that's been my experience with Asian ethnicities in the pacific Northwest.

[–]RagingAnemone 58ポイント59ポイント  (4子コメント)

Yeah, I'm not sure why people don't understand this is an American joke. It doesn't work everyplace else. Racism is different in asia.

Ninja Edit: The Korean is the most perfect being.

[–]thatshootingguy 161ポイント162ポイント  (85子コメント)

Every race has a history of racism against others. There's no truth to the assertion that only whites have been racist.

[–][deleted] 122ポイント123ポイント  (11子コメント)

When people talk about white people being racist, and other races not being capable of it because race has to do with power they are looking at things through a very small lense.

It's an ethnocentric way of thinking that discredits people experiencing racism outside of the US and other predominately white countries.

Anyone can be racist. And to all the people trying to narrow racism down to only white people, you are the racist.

[–][deleted] 127ポイント128ポイント  (249子コメント)

"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the white man, who most likely meant that he and his race were superior to others.

This comment is EXACTLY what the joke is about. Why do people assume a white person is saying "my race is better than yours" when they say they're proud of their race but it doesn't mean that for anyone else? Because "History". You realize that Mao Ze Dong and Pol Pot were asians right? You realize that Robert Mugabe and Idi Amin are black right?

Why aren't black people and asian people held to account for those guys crimes while I'm still apparently being held to account for the evil "white colonizers" of the past?

[–]rand0m_task 50ポイント51ポイント  (39子コメント)

Not to mention I'm a white guys whose great grand parents came from Greece and Ireland.. None of my past family members had slaves.. Possible were slaves back in the ancient times.

[–]xanimalOG 37ポイント38ポイント  (5子コメント)

Actually, most asians thought of their race as the superior race and some still do. The Japanese believed their race was the "divine race"/pure race and it was their duty to cleanse the world of other races. The Chinese considered the Japanese to be inhuman inferior animals and the rest of the continent was viewed similarly. The Koreans believed that the Chinese and Japanese were worthless human garbage. I could go on.

In Africa, the first slaves were sent to the West by the African elite seeking to get rid of their political prisoners and POW's. They believed that they were superior beings and deserved to sell the will of their enemies to the highest bidder. In some other countries, like Jamaica, the general population considers white people to be inferior and the kids there are encouraged to single out the white kids and beat them, exclude them, "get rid of them".

But of course for SJW's like you, the only history that exists is the history that fits your narrative.

[–]YoMamasAMudblood 52ポイント53ポイント  (62子コメント)

In what way is this a joke?

[–]pyrolizard11 47ポイント48ポイント  (8子コメント)

It sets up an expected payoff to a self referential quote, changing who says the quote but keeping the payoff consistent. It then subverts the expected payoff by insulting the quoted in a way consistent with the common perception of someone who would express the newest iteration of the quote.

[–]phedre 44ポイント45ポイント  (8子コメント)

Wow, never seen this tired old chestnut before.

[–]didgeboy287 23ポイント24ポイント  (6子コメント)

Is the phrase "tired old chestnut" a tired old chestnut by now?

[–]cpcwrites 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

Not quite yet, but it has certainly achieved "old hat" status.

[–]geodebug 9ポイント10ポイント  (3子コメント)

Never seen this wrinkled gray ballsack before. Better?

[–]PrometheusMarkham 20ポイント21ポイント  (11子コメント)

"We should focus more on cooperating and less on dividing ourselves into arbitrary groups!" said the intelligent being.

[–]swilli87 11ポイント12ポイント  (22子コメント)

No I mean.. for all the anti sarcasm in the thread.. It's literally frowned upon to say you're proud to be white. Why?