上位 200 件のコメント全て表示する 209

[–]lacrosse- 1141ポイント1142ポイント  (68子コメント)

https://i.imgur.com/54jJaBh.jpg

Since you posted this only a month ago, I'm gonna go ahead and call this one a lie to pander to the imaginary "conniving trapping woman" reddit loves to hate.

[–]hellraiser24 139ポイント140ポイント  (44子コメント)

That post is complete bullshit too. No one wears a condom AND pulls out. What's the fucking point.

[–]Thoarxius 34ポイント35ポイント  (1子コメント)

He's actually 15 and guesses that this is what people do?

[–]NuclearStar 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well its true, if you dont pull out the condom goes shooting into the woman right? right guys???

[–]xrudeboy420x 62ポイント63ポイント  (18子コメント)

I always, always, always pull out. I didn't once and the condom was broken. Never again. Plan B for my plan A

[–]Im_why_Waldos_hiding 74ポイント75ポイント  (13子コメント)

My Plan B is usually to put it in her A.

[–]CondescendingIdiot 17ポイント18ポイント  (12子コメント)

Unless she wants it in the C and you are desperate for the V and she likes your P, amirite?

[–]InfiniteHatred 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Later, dudes! F you in your A's without wearing a C and J all over your B's.

[–]Chill_Confirmed 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

my P feels funny what is happening to me :[

[–]CousinImar 3ポイント4ポイント  (8子コメント)

Wait, what?

[–]New_new_account2 19ポイント20ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think something illegal happened

The cat should not be involved in any of this

[–]XkF21WNJ 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

If and only if f: X → Y and y∈Y ⇒ ∃x∈X f(x)=y, f is surjective.

[–]Gonnagame 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Either my spring break was too long or you mean surjective.

Edit: I checked the interwebs and I'm now pretty sure you mean surjective.

To be clear, if and only if f: X → Y and f(a) = f(b) ⇒ a = b, f is injective.

[–]XkF21WNJ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, you're right. Not sure why I mixed them up.

[–]Jazztoken 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Surjective = onto

Injective = one-to-one

Upvote /u/Gonnagame not /u/XkF21WNJ

[–]RiseAboveRuin 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

You never, at any point, stop and wonder why it all of a sudden feels amazing?

[–]GetTheWatts 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

With a broken condom you might as well just go raw.

[–]dfsgdhgresdfgdff 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

If the condom breaks you're either buying them from a hobo, or you're using them wrong.

[–]I_eat_satans_ass 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You can't feel it break? You ever wonder why suddenly it feels so much warmer and slippery?

[–]Pvt_Lee_Fapping 22ポイント23ポイント  (10子コメント)

Condoms aren't force-fields; they can rip during sex.

[–]hellraiser24 0ポイント1ポイント  (9子コメント)

Yeah so then you get Plan b

[–]Pvt_Lee_Fapping 3ポイント4ポイント  (8子コメント)

That's good too, but pulling out while wearing a condom isn't going to hurt anything; might even improve the success rate at preventing pregnancy by 0.0000001%.

[–]hellraiser24 1ポイント2ポイント  (7子コメント)

It absolutely hurts. It is a completely different experience.

[–]wishiwascooler 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

I... I do, i just feel like its extra safe.

[–]grraznazn 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe he wanted to practice safe sex and cum on her face. Still bullshit, but just a possibility.

[–]lionday 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Besides, what married couple actually has sex?

[–]Synectics 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

I thought the 13th Amendment outlawed owning people like this

[–]242sicnarf 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

He is economising on that Karma bruh

[–]ArtThouIncensedBro 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

He's also an American Student studying in the UK http://i.imgur.com/rHrNPyy.png

[–]NorthernSpectre 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

I don't get why people care so much about karma that they fabricate a story and create a meme with it... Like seriously, Karma is literally worthless.

[–]one-eleven 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Conversely so is believing a fake story. None of these people actually exist in your life, you can just treat it as entertainment, whether it's real or not. Do you get upset if Rachel and Ross don't actually like each other in real life?

[–]i_never_use_caps 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you get upset if Rachel and Ross don't actually like each other in real life?

uh.... yes!

[–]Instifly 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's not likely, but he could have left his wife, gotten a vasectomy and then started dating other women

[–]ajustice83 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dammit, every time I set down my pitchfork, there's a new OP who needs some forking.

[–]Gutierrezjm6 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why would anyone lie about this? Karma means nothing. Is it a Reddit employee paid to engage with users?

[–]jascany 88ポイント89ポイント  (8子コメント)

I don't understand why two people engaging in unprotected sex wouldn't have a candid conversation about their methods. Woman - "I'm on birth control." OP - "Great, I had a vasectomy." No reason to be coy this day in age.

[–]twingirlsdaddy 30ポイント31ポイント  (5子コメント)

This right here is a reason for OP to shut up. What if she'd showed up pregnant and claimed it was his?

[–]Jaripsi 7ポイント8ポイント  (3子コメント)

Yeah, but telling her beforehand saves him and her the trouble. She wont make that claim if she knew about it.

[–]karmacorn 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

And if she had a baby on her agenda and knew he wasn't able to give her one, she wouldn't have stuck around in the first place. It's good he found out she's a liar, but he wasted time with her he didn't need to waste.

[–]aliasname 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

He can still give her a baby. A vasectomy can be reversed. However some people think it's acceptable to lie. All he had to say is I don't feel like I'm ready to have kids. If she thinks she can trick him into having kids that's her fault for trying to be manipulating. That's really what the problem has always been some women try to trap a man into a long term relationship by getting pregnant.

[–]twingirlsdaddy 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

You missed my point... It shows her as a liar right off the bat, and one out for deep blood, so the earlier the warning the better.

[–]computergroove 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This happened to me last week. I had to go get my ejaculate tested for swimmers. Still negative. Suck it bitch!

[–]load231 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because, as we saw in OPs post, people might lie because they want to take some kind of advantage of you.

[–]JohnnyDarkside 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, pretty much. Wife had stopped getting depo shots, so we knew there was a risk. Ended up getting all prego. Well, 8 years later, we're married and have 3 kids. Lies usually don't make a good relationship. Honestly kind of crazy to think I've spent 1/3 of my life with her.

[–]floodums 128ポイント129ポイント  (59子コメント)

So, did you stay with a liar or move on?

[–]HillTopEconomist[S] 51ポイント52ポイント  (58子コメント)

I moved on. I don't know if she was trying to trap me but I can't stay with someone that lies about something that important. Kinda sad, she was nice. It could have been something.

[–]lacrosse- 113ポイント114ポイント  (8子コメント)

https://i.imgur.com/54jJaBh.jpg

So did she try and trap you before or after your wife got pregnant from failed multiple birth control methods? Or do you just have a thing for posting about this topic? Or are you pandering to the hate reddit has for this strawman they've built? 3rd seems most likely.

[–]Huitzilopostlian 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe he needs to update that meme to 4 methods and girl she is sleeping with is the wife.

[–]Flem_guzzler 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

So it's time to get an abortion if you don't want a kid.

[–]qiang_shi 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Haha, Strawman.

Kkkkkkkkkk

[–]lacrosse- 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes, because a person who belongs to theredpill, a subreddit notorious for justifying rape and abusing women because they think they're some kind of lesser creature, surely is sensible enough to comment here.

[–]battleship61 129ポイント130ポイント  (12子コメント)

she was nice

nice girls don't lie about being on birth control.

[–]FeralBottleofMtDew 23ポイント24ポイント  (21子コメント)

Definitely the smart move. She obviously wants kids and you obviously don't. It's too big an issue to not be on the same page in a relationship. As a cf female I always told any guy I dated that if he wanted tho whole marriage/kids/white picket fence that he should move on. Saves lots of grief.

[–]molodyets 9ポイント10ポイント  (16子コメント)

Cf?

[–]dragonjz 13ポイント14ポイント  (11子コメント)

Child free

[–]Pinkcees 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm glad you said this. I was thinking cystic fibrosis, and she meant that the guys should move on because she'll be dead soon. I may need a sunnier outlook on life.

[–]PiousLiar 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd prefer that over child-free. Most of the people on that sub are just so negative...

[–]Prison_Vape 2ポイント3ポイント  (8子コメント)

That sub is horrid.... And I'm cf as well...

[–]Pvt_Lee_Fapping 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I always felt like that sub was more for people who legitimately hate kids as opposed to those who just want a relationship without the complications kids bring into it.

[–]sage101 2ポイント3ポイント  (6子コメント)

Yeah I'm CF as well and I was subscribed to that subreddit before, but it got way too depressing reading the posts on there.

[–]Prison_Vape 2ポイント3ポイント  (5子コメント)

Same. Its constant negativity. Its blatant hatred towards anything that inconveniences them, often times having little or nothing to do with being child free.

They LOOK for reasons to bitch and moan and be offended. They WANT to be harassed, and since no one cares if you want kids or not, they take EVERYTHING as "oppression".

I once read a post about some kid who wanted some candy off a grocery store shelf. OP was complaining as if the kid had sniffed the panties she was wearing because he came within a 30ft. radius of her. Its absolutely ridiculous.

Edit: to my fellow cfers and their downvote buttons, I'm reading your toxic sub right now. Seriously /r/childfree. Tell me this isn't FPH for kids.

[–]SLSnickers 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

Agreed. That sub feels WAY more anti-child that anti-having a child.

[–]sage101 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

For me being around kids is like being in a pet store. Sure they can be cute, or adorable at times, but there's no way I want to spend more than 20 minutes around them.

[–]slanid 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Just went to that sub and a comment on one of the top posts is suggesting that OP tell her mother-in-law to "not stick around to annoy everyone, but go ahead and die" because MIL asked for a grandchild.

[–]Prison_Vape 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Which is somehow perfectly reasonable. Riiight?

/s

[–]DrJohanzaKafuhu 23ポイント24ポイント  (2子コメント)

I hate when people use acronyms that only apply to their subreddits. Like you see cf on a daily basis. My nmom knows about that.

[–]-DDD- 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

idkmybffjill does the same thing

[–]Mrfunnynuts 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're a bullshit op

[–]Iplaynakeder 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

"...someone that lies..."

"Https://i.imgur.com/54jJaBh.jpg Since you posted this only a month ago, I'm gonna go ahead and call this one a lie to pander to the imaginary "conniving trapping woman" reddit loves to hate"

Yes OP, lying is BAD!

[–]Wildcat7878 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

My last girlfriend tried to trap me by getting her IUD taken out without telling me.

[–]PiousLiar 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

How'd you find out before it was too late?

[–]Wildcat7878 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I actually wasn't sure at first. We'd broken up a couple weeks prior, then she suddenly wanted to start having sex again. We did, but I know what a liar and a user she is, so I wore condoms just in case she was trying to trap me. After we started having sex again, more pieces fell into place; I couldn't feel the IUD anymore, she would beg me to take the condom off in the middle of sex. Then finally I got confirmation when I gave her a ride to her OBGYN and her doctor let slip something about "When you came in for your IUD removal last month..." in front of me.

Listening to her try to cover her ass after I caught her red-handed was hilarious, by the way.

[–]i_never_use_caps 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

in all seriousness, why are you lying?

[–]guildensterncrantz 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

IDK how anyone that lies about being on birth control can be "nice". Like, what if she stays pregnant, what will she do - say "oops, you'll be a father now"? It doesn't compute.

[–]Hatefullynch 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I bet your wife appreciate you moving on from your girlfriend since she's pregnant

[–]fourcornerview 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Seems likely that she brought up birth control, unlikely that you would have neglected to mention vasectomy.

I say you lie.

[–]Kobe32 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You lied for karma. Just imaginary points you dumb asshole

[–]mMounirM 21ポイント22ポイント  (22子コメント)

Aren't vasectomies not 100% effective?

[–]throwaway-coder 24ポイント25ポイント  (9子コメント)

If they are done right. Snipped, cauterized, and tied. 18 years no swimmers

[–]rocketwrench 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

How often have you been tested after the procedure?

[–]RentonBrax 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not op but once, 3 months after, to confirm the procedure was successful. After that there is no physical way for sperm to get through unless they have specialised medical training and the right tools, and my intelligence genes just aren't that good.

[–]Rhamni 2ポイント3ポイント  (6子コメント)

The failure rate is like 20 in 100,000. Which is not zero, but it's pretty close.

[–]joshublansky 9ポイント10ポイント  (3子コメント)

20 in 100,000

Wouldn’t it be simpler to just say 1 in 5000?

[–]Chronoblivion 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

A lot of population statistics like this, particularly in the medical field, are presented as out of 100,000. Makes it easier to compare.

[–]PiousLiar 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

But 100.000 sounds more impressive...

[–]yaffle53 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Also,1 in 5000 could mean 1 failure followed by 4999 successes.

[–]Edvart 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

So... 1 in 5000?

[–]Rhamni 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes, but I vaguely remember reading it that way, so I just regurgitated it as it was stored.

[–]elokr 34ポイント35ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's why you continue to get sperm counts after the procedure.

[–]RentonBrax 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You only need one about 3 months after to confirm the procedure was successful. If you've been advised to continue to get then find a new doctor.

[–]EgoUncensored 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

2 guys I work with have had children following a vasectomy. One had twins.

No, they are not 100%.

[–]Bon_Jovi_Friday 44ポイント45ポイント  (8子コメント)

I had a girlfriend once that told me she was on birth control. I later found out that she was lying. She broke down and started crying, told me that she was afraid to tell me she was infertile because of complications from 2 abortions she had when she was younger. The abortions were legit confirmed so I believed her. She always wanted me to nut in her but I never risked it. 3 months after we broke up she got pregnant from her new boyfriend. She totally tried to trap me and this guy fell for it.

[–]personablepickle 12ポイント13ポイント  (7子コメント)

Or she really thought she was infertile and was wrong. Maybe not likely since she already lied, but possible.

[–]Bon_Jovi_Friday 14ポイント15ポイント  (6子コメント)

No she knew. She told the truth about the abortions but made up the complication stuff. She was manipulative, a liar, cheated on me multiple times, etc. A few times during sex she tried to sit down hard or wrap her legs around me to keep me from pulling out. I shouldn't have allowed the relationship to go on for as long as it did but I was young and stupid.

[–]adamf1983 12ポイント13ポイント  (4子コメント)

I shouldn't have allowed the relationship to go on for as long as it did but I was young and stupid.

If it makes you feel any better, this describes pretty much everybody.

[–]one-eleven 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Speak for yourself, I was just stupid.

[–]__v -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm the exact opposite :(

[–]dfsgdhgresdfgdff 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/Ufbr5ej.jpg

Intelligent old folks are off running Fortune 500 companies or retired in Maui or some shit, not shitposting here.

[–]riobaby 22ポイント23ポイント  (3子コメント)

Do you by any chance already have children? I know a lot of women who can't handle being with a man that already has children but they aren't hers. My ex-brother in law is one such case. His girlfriend hated the fact that he had a child with my sister, like there was some imbalance in their relationship and my sister had some control over them... She told him she had an IUD and not six months later was pregnant saying that she forgot to tell him she had it removed because it was uncomfortable...... This isn't the only example I have unfortunately.

[–]happyslaughterhouse 14ポイント15ポイント  (1子コメント)

You ever tell her you had a vasectomy?

[–]Takeabyte 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is that important when the relationship is about sexy time and not making babies.

[–]Twerkulez 11ポイント12ポイント  (3子コメント)

OP, judging by your post history you are a nasty little manlet. Stop making up stories to drum up hatred.

[–]qiang_shi 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Haha, that's funny. Except he's already come to terms with his height...

You how ever, are still single, no guy to bleed child support from.

No free shit for you.

[–]Twerkulez 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wat. I'm a married man. We make great money, no reason to need free shit.

[–]friendly_bomber 8ポイント9ポイント  (4子コメント)

My reaction reading this meme. Although I never had an unprotected sex before, so not sure if vasectomy is necessary.

[–]Prison_Vape 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'd like one, simply because condoms aren't 100%.

[–]EgoUncensored -1ポイント0ポイント  (2子コメント)

Neither are vasectomies

[–]Prison_Vape -1ポイント0ポイント  (1子コメント)

But vasectomy + condom.

[–]Armypharmacist 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I swear to god half the people on this thread have never had sex. Condoms suck, I hate the damn things if I can get away with not using one I will.

People who go through the effort of getting a vasectomy obviously do not want to wear condoms anymore.

[–]wilc8650 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

This isn't socially awkward or socially awesome.

Wrong meme.

[–]KnuteViking 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Seriously, people use the penguin as good thing or bad thing. Other good memes exist four shit like this.

[–]KAROWD 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why the fuk u lyin, why u always lyin

[–]MewtwoStruckBack 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html

This is what you do in this scenario.

Or let her sue you and you run her through the wringer in court, bankrupt her and basically sentence her to a shitty rest of her life.

[–]marco262 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

The older I get, the more and more it looks like a vasectomy is just a good idea all around. Unless you feel very strongly about passing on your genes, it's an easy procedure that's relatively cheap, has a short recovery time, and gets rid of a LOT of future worries.

Change your mind later and still want kids? Sperm donors are available, if you don't mind a small extra cost. Adopting isn't cheap, but neither are hospital trips for a pregnant wife, and they don't come with the possible health complications of pregnancy.

[–]__v 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'll just keep some sperm in my freezer for a "special occasion" ;)

[–]Whiteyak5 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

Okay I gotta ask.... How does "it" still fire off after a vasectomy? Does anything come out?

[–]Starrisa 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

There is more to ejaculate than just sperm. All the other components still come out, just not any sperm cells.

[–]_9a_ 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yes. Like the Internet, the male reproductive system is a series of tubes...

You've got the nuts. They make the sperm. The sperm is pumped through the vas deferens (the bit that's snipped and cauterized during a vasectomy) to the prostate.

In the prostate, the sperm are mixed with the goopy white stuff that's mostly sugar and protein, with a bit of water to make it more runny. This is literally food for the sperm.

From there it goes into the urethra (yes, the same tube that pee comes out of. Whether the bladder or the prostate dumps into it is controlled by some internal valves), then goes 'woosh' out when everything contracts during orgasm.

[–]PiousLiar 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's scary to think there are people who don't actually know how his stuff works.... That's a failing of sex-ed right there

[–]zodar 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

The girl you're sleeping with rawdog lied? How socially awkward.

[–]i_RAGE_DownVote 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

All juice, no seeds.

[–]imgurtranscriber 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Here is what the linked meme says in case it is blocked at your school/work or is unavailable for any reason:

.

Post Title: I'm firing blanks.

Top: GIRL I'M SLEEPING WITH SAID SHE LIED AND ISN'T ON BIRTH CONTROL

Bottom: I'VE HAD A VASECTOMY

Original Link1 | Meme Template2

[–]Baby_Punter 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, at least you have a healthy, adult relationship. So, you have that going for you.

[–]Boobieone69 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (5子コメント)

She shouldnt have lied. But you should have said you had a vasectomy..

[–]Pinkcees 0ポイント1ポイント  (4子コメント)

How come? It doesn't say they're in a serious relationship; it could have just been a casual fling.

[–]ThermalAnvil 0ポイント1ポイント  (3子コメント)

OP posted a month ago that he got his wife pregnant.

[–]Pinkcees 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah, I saw that the OP is full of it. I was just curious why this poster thinks a vasectomy should be disclosed, hypothetically.

[–]ThermalAnvil 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think it's weird that she had to disclose she's on BC when the guy is also on BC. Why would a guy not disclose that?

[–]Pinkcees 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I can see not wanting to offer up that you've been sterilized with someone you're not that serious about. It could lead into a whole bunch of topics that you just don't want to get into, or personal history you'd rather save for someone serious. It would be the same if the guy says off the bat that he brought condoms. The woman may think, "cool. Birth control discussion is out of the way. I don't have to go into the whole tubal ligation story."

[–]puntini -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Dumb question. But why would a woman want to trick a man into having his child?

[–]AdminsAreCancer01 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Women shouldn't have kids after ~35 so they get baby crazy in their 20's. Men don't have this "biological clock". Also they can trap guy's into child support payments etc.

[–]DoveesBloodyBear -5ポイント-4ポイント  (1子コメント)

Lots of conniving women out there. Though do you ever mention this up front? Might weed out the ones out for something.

[–]Derek573 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Telling them upfront will probably weed out some but weed out a lot more potentials as well, a lot of women want children eventually and unless OP left some swimmers on ice he isnt going to be her kids father. Knowing this will definitely strain the relationship if there is a future there not just another fling.

[–]Lolatyourban113 -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

They are not 100%. Get paternity checked