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Any advice is appreciated (self.Parenting)

1WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot が 投稿

Where to start?

I am a veteran and proud of it. I come from a long line of military family members who have served. I hope the same for my son. A while back my son asked me about my service time and I told him a few things. He said that some of his friends in 2nd grade said they wanted to be soldiers and that he did too. This brought a smile to my face.

Last weekend I asked him if would like to watch a movie about the military and he jumped at the chance. I decided that we would relax while my wife was away and watch Zero Dark Thirty. An amazing movie by all accounts. As we watched my son would ask me questions and I would explain things to him. Harmless I thought. I was wrong it appears. This past weekend my wife went shopping and this left me alone with my son. I told him to go outside and play with the dog. I proceeded to go into the garage and work on my hobby car. After about an hour of doing this I noticed the I hadn't heard from my son. I went out back to our fenced in yard and he was not there. I went to his room and he was not there as well. About this time I heard loud sounds coming from the bathroom. I ran into the bathroom and couldn't believe the horror that I saw. My son had our dog pinned down and was dowsing water on the dogs face. I quickly stopped this and harshly asked my son what he was doing. He said he was trying to get the dog to talk like the men in the movie. I couldn't believe my son was actually trying to water board our dog. I told him that we can't do these things and that it was only a movie and that I don't want him doing this again. He said ok and went to clean his room.

My question for everyone is how do I deal with this? Do I tell his mother? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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[–]warlocktx 21ポイント22ポイント  (3子コメント)

Don't show a seven year old violent graphic movies. It's rated R for a reason. I wouldn't let my 12 year old watch it.

Yes, you should tell his mother. If he continues to act out like this ask his pediatrician for a referral to a therapist or child psychologist.

[–]PrimrosePlath 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is great advice OP. I want to add that it's great you want to share a common interest with your son. Don't be discouraged that you went about it in the wrong way this time. There are age-appropriate ways to explore this interest. I also come from a military family. Some things we did were to military museums to see the big machines (tanks, planes, etc), subscribe to an aviation service which sent little pictures with facts about different planes/boats, air shows with the blue angels. play little green army men in an age appropriate way - have them "rescue" another toy in distress - no need for violence there but the "hero" narrative is a strong one for little kids and this can reinforce that. My dad was a mechanic in the military so I had little fisher prices tools and a fake engine to take apart. It was great.

[–]1WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot[S] -4ポイント-3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Why are people these days so quick to run to a therapist?

[–]imyourdackelberry 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Should your 8 year old son continue to try to water board your dog or other animals, a therapist would likely be the best person to give you advice on how to deal with it. I wouldn't call that "running".

[–]PurpleWeasel 10ポイント11ポイント  (1子コメント)

Look, if you show a seven-year-old a movie and tell him "I want you to be like the people in this movie," he's going to listen. It's not fair at all to get angry at him or punish him for it. He's doing exactly, literally, what you told him to do. You're the one who messed up, not him.

If you want your son to be a soldier, you need to start putting some more thought into the kind of soldier you want him to be. You need to show him role models that act the way you want him to act.

[–]1WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot[S] -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I didn't punish him. Not sure what you mean by putting thought into what kind of soldier I want him to be.

[–]EBofEB 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The ratings for movies are pretty good guidelines. Especially if you don't know what is appropriate. When in doubt don't let kids watch a movie that is rated above their age.

I see two things here. You chose to watch the movie when your wife was gone, that tells me perhaps she would have objected and maybe you even knew she would, especially because you have not told her about the incident, and perhaps not the movie you chose? The other thing that stands out is when your wife left again, you told him to go off by himself and play with the dog. And you went off and did your own thing. Why didn't you ask him to spend that time with you?

You absolutely need to tell your wife everything. You may not have seen the end of the effects of this movie on your son. He can't unsee or unhear it now.