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A Note on Plates (self.RedPillWomen)

redpillschool~30, LTR 2.5 Years が 投稿

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[–]Whisper 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'd also say that not having sex until you're explicitly exclusive would be a workable solution....

Except it's not. First of all, explicitly exclusive is just a promise. It's not an emotional bond. You can be explicitly exclusive one week and dumped the next.

It's the bond that keeps you together that is the relationship, not some words. Words are nothing. If all you have is words, guess what you have.

Second of all, a lot of men ain't gonna go for that. Why? Because men don't like that. They only ever went for it as part of a compromise. Now that this compromise is broken, men aren't going to keep holding up their end of it.

If you want men to do something, you have to provide them with an incentive. This is about getting what you want by doing that. Not about sitting around and deciding what you want and just expecting men to give it to you, regardless of whether it is in their best interest or not.

The cornerstone of female sexual strategy cannot be the assumption that men are stupid. Because not all of them are.

[–]maya_elena26, Married 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'd have to respectfully disagree. Words are words, but they act as a screening tool. Yes, you can't and shouldn't police his activity away from you - and you shouldn't assume exclusivity by default or try to control him, etc.

But (unless you're ready to handle being a plate) in your first few dates, assuming the guy isn't into lying (in which case he might not be your best option anyway), I think he's more likely to be up-front with you. I think it's fairer to tell him what you want and let him leave than wasting his time and resenting him later for not committing. This approach will narrow your field of men, but presumably you are ultimately only looking for one.

Besides, not sleeping with every guy who takes you out for coffee twice is one way to keep "n count" low.

[–]Whisper 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd have to respectfully disagree. Words are words, but they act as a screening tool. Yes, you can't and shouldn't police his activity away from you - and you shouldn't assume exclusivity by default or try to control him, etc.

Certainly screening is a good idea. And listening to what he says can play into that.

Besides, not sleeping with every guy who takes you out for coffee twice is one way to keep "n count" low.

Yes. One implication of the whole idea of the "Passion" article I put up a few days ago (and I'm still working on the second part) is don't ever have sex with a man you're not passionate about.

I think the focus on delay rather than vetting is a mistake.

I once had a (mostly sexual) relationship with a beautiful Korean PhD student at my university. She'd only had one previous partner, but I never promoted her above FWB, because the way she had him creeped me out. She told me she had been about 21, and figured it was about time to lose her v-card and find out what this "sex" thing was all about. So she just picked one of her male acquaintances.

Weird.

I would have been much more willing to invest in her if she'd had three or four, but they were all men she cared about and relationships she was trying to make work.

A woman's n-count is like her credit rating. A woman's sexual history is like her credit history... there's a lot of detail there that the number doesn't capture. Two women with the same n-count can be very different in the amount of trust and investment they inspire from the same man.