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BYU gave my sister a dildo (self.exmormon)

momonomoyo が 投稿

When my sister was getting married, she was a student at BYU Provo. They made her go to a meeting at the health center with other girls that were getting married. They gave her antibiotics (because they assumed she would get a uti), birth control pills, and last but not least, a set of vaginal "sizers". They were basically turkey baster style dildos in various sizes. They told her to stick them up her vag up so it wouldn't hurt as bad when she had sex (assuming they were all virgins). I remember my sister coming home and was laughing but was also a little freaked out. They told her to read her scriptures while she used them. I can't believe this crap goes on. It's no wonder why so many LDS people are fucked up in the sex department.

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[–]PartiallyDerivative 48ポイント49ポイント  (22子コメント)

FWIW, a vaginal sizer was also prescribed to my wife when we got engaged by her private gynecologist. It isn't exactly something you'd get off on.

Edit: We were also living in Utah at the time.

[–]No_Longer_A_Menace 21ポイント22ポイント  (12子コメント)

One of my coworker's friends was also prescribed vaginal sizers dilators as part of a treatment for vaginismus (why my coworker told me that, I'll never know).

[–]sowellfan 25ポイント26ポイント  (6子コメント)

Yeah, definitely something that's used for vaginismus. I think they're usually called 'dilators'.

Now, if someone has vaginismus, then these things are totally called for. But, for most women, I think this is something that should generally be unnecessary - assuming that they're aroused when they get ready to have sex [I could totally be wrong on this though]. I wonder if the generally sex-negative attitude of the church leads to more problems with painful sex.

[–]BabyPunter3000 18ポイント19ポイント  (2子コメント)

Not to mention the whole, "WHEN YOU HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME, IT'S SUPER-PAINFUL AND THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!" thing they teach the teen girls.

[–]zaffiromitezaffiromite 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Really they teach that?

[–]chaispicetea 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, to be fair, sometimes there is blood and/or pain. My first time involved both, and I was very, very into it and the guy was very gentle with me. I think it was just the way I was built.

It was not, however, the horror show that people make it out to be. I enjoyed the sensations once the pain was over, the blood wasn't "all over the place" (a pad was more than sufficient to contain it) and all in all, it was a good experience.

[–]Sheretic 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

I wonder if the generally sex-negative attitude of the church leads to more problems with painful sex.

YES.

[–]FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

It can make a first sexual experience less painful by stretching the hymen so there's less tissue tearing. For women without a hymen it can still help by training muscles to relax and not lock up with penetration. In a group where tensing up is more common compared to the general population, it makes sense to offer it to everyone.

[–]loungesinger 4ポイント5ポイント  (2子コメント)

My TBM ex wife went to a private ob/gyn before we got married. She experienced pain throughout the exam and the doctor said he had difficulty completing the exam since things were pretty tight down there. The doctor said this would all make sex somewhat difficult, so he gave her these syringe-like tube things to take home. As I recall there were like 3-5 of these things. They were dildo-esq, but they resembled syringes more than they resembles dildos -- they definitely had more of a clinical feel than a sexy feel. The smallest was maybe the size of an index finger. The largest was the size of an avg. penis. There was a gradual size increase from one tube to the next. The doctor explained that my ex should insert the smallest for a few minutes each night. She was told once she could insert the smallest tube without much discomfort, she then start using the next size, and so on. The instruction were to just insert a tube and let it float essentially -- she wasn't told to masturbate with it or anything like that. I believe the purpose was to slowly stretch things out so that sex wouldn't be painful. It was all very clinical.

In light of this, I guess I don't necessarily think it's weird that that the BYU health centers gives these things to women. It would be weird if they give them to every single woman, I guess. It is DEFINITELY weird that the health center tells these women to read scripture during the process. These people are just so ridiculously stupid when it comes to the human body.

[–]No_Longer_A_Menace 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Let it float... maybe this is where the rumors about "soaking" come from, lol

[–]loungesinger 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Soaking! I couldn't remember what the crazy BYU kids were calling that, so I guessed it was floating. lol... that was exactly what I was going for though.

[–]nevermonancy 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

coworkers do love to share. mine told everyone about finding her daughter's bottom plugs -_____-

[–]No_Longer_A_Menace 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep, I knew way too much about how this same co-worker's husband shaved his downstairs. :/

[–]zando95Running from the tentacles of Divine Providence 8ポイント9ポイント  (3子コメント)

Is this a normal thing...? Most women don't use these before they have sex, do they? I mean I searched the word "sizers" in /r/sex and got zero results.

[–]MorticiaSmithJoseph tried to send Gomez on a mission. 17ポイント18ポイント  (2子コメント)

They are called vaginal dialators. They are used to treat real medical conditions as well as used in gender reassignment surgery.

[–]UltimateDracoMeteorWe believe in being dishonest, false, and belligerent. 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

*sexual reassignment surgery

[–]MorticiaSmithJoseph tried to send Gomez on a mission. 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks.

[–]cloistered_around 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yup, me too. I never actually used them but getting them is fairly common practice in the standard gynocology kit.

Maybe that's just the Utah gynoclogists though, so... dunno. It was normal there though.

[–]zaffiromitezaffiromite 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Never heard of such a thing from my gynecologist, friends family or church.

[–]cloistered_around 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well maybe it's just normal for Utah, then, where gynocologusts basically have to assume that nobody has had sex or any idea of what sex entails. XD

[–]sethky 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Same here.

[–]guellikeafish 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It doesn't feel really good or pleasurable, so yeah.

[–]seventhvision 80ポイント81ポイント  (15子コメント)

OMG! Read your scriptures while......OMG! I can't quit laughing. That's the funniest thing i've ever hears. Only the mormons......I'm still laughing. So damn funny.

[–]ColonelAngus24601 21ポイント22ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh, Moroni!!

[–]BabyPunter3000 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

It kind of reminds me of that tumblr post about the two teens who were dating while their parents were the pastors of rival churches, and when they were getting it on, they had a mini contest to see who could recite the most bible verses before they climaxed.

[–]loungesinger 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm going to pretend that they were both 18-yr-old teenagers so I don't feel like a complete pervert for thinking this is kinda hot.

[–]elviracowles 11ポイント12ポイント  (4子コメント)

One of the sisters of my mission told she was bringing the three books to the honeymoon to pray and read the scriptures with the husband before sex.

[–]ChurchofZhargon 16ポイント17ポイント  (1子コメント)

Well it's official, I don't care how many of them are relatively normal, I'm never dating any Mormons.

[–]CaptainMacaroni 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

After this story and the story about the person that wouldn't kiss before marriage I find myself wondering:

I wonder how many LDS people get married and end up living their entire lives being sexually unfulfilled because they ended up finding out after they got married (after it's too late) that their spouse is an ultra-prude.

Given the way the church teaches about sex it probably happens a lot.

[–]SansabinaI would be ungrateful if I didn’t stand today and bear my teste 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

the three books

triple combination?

[–]Lordofdonuts 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Did they at least suggest song of Solomon?

[–]wattotjabba 5ポイント6ポイント  (4子コメント)

Before we got married my Stake President told us that every sex act should begin and end with prayer.

[–]SansabinaI would be ungrateful if I didn’t stand today and bear my teste 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

does ending it with "oh gooooooddddddd" count?

[–]wattotjabba 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

"...hear the words of my aauuuuuggghhh..."

[–]GET_ON_THE_BANTERBUS 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

"mmm now fuck me from behind"

"hang about we've got to pray first"

[–]Spootscat 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Please bless this first time we attempt anal, that his shaft may penetrate deep without being tainted by my colon. That we might feel thy love as he makes that ass go to sleep. We ask that clean up might be easy, and we may have the energy to clean the Chapel after."

[–]TempleTempestJust your stereotypical exmo 115ポイント116ポイント  (2子コメント)

My BYU sister had the same experience, but she didn't react as well. She called me, sobbing, and we talked for an hour. She was so freaked out. Couldn't even look at her fiance, who was confused and freaked out in turn, wondering what was wrong with her.

This was my militant TBM little sister who wouldn't even kiss a guy until they were married, because she suspected she was a passionate person who wouldn't know when to stop. And then they handed her a "bag of penises" and told her to "take them home and practice."

Just wow. I don't think anything (to that point) had made me so glad I didn't go to BYU.

[–]the70sdiscokingI got my 37 pieces of flair 45ポイント46ポイント  (0子コメント)

And then they handed her a "bag of penises" and told her to "take them home and practice."

Best "LoL" of the day right here!

[–]Mooglyboo 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

"bag of penises"

[–]MinisteringAngle 52ポイント53ポイント  (31子コメント)

I can confirm that BYU Provo Health Services did this in the past (don't know if they still do it now).

[–]No_Longer_A_Menace 27ポイント28ポイント  (14子コメント)

They do.

[–]SunnyOlivia 12ポイント13ポイント  (12子コメント)

Oh my god. Now I'm a little freaked out. One of my friends sisters goes there and is getting married soon. I don't want to know that they did that to/for her! Oh god.

[–]dudando 23ポイント24ポイント  (11子コメント)

Don't worry, this story has been exaggerated. The voluntary sex class is one of the good things that BYU offers.

When I went the doctor even went out of the way to discuss how oral sex was normal, and that anal sex was fine so long as you are careful and clean.

[–]dahliabeta 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I got married there in 2005. I didn't get this--missed out!! Haha

[–]nanabean 9ポイント10ポイント  (14子コメント)

Are you kidding me?! I had vaginismus/vulvodynia for the first year or so. Is this such a common phenomenon among mormon women that BYU is aware and gives out vaginal dilators to engaged students?

[–]FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy 5ポイント6ポイント  (9子コメント)

Yes. I imagine the dilators substantially reduce the percentage of students who have a complete freak-out their first time, which would then reduce later anxiety/pain and therefore reduce the chances of developing vaginismus. (Obviously there are other reasons someone might develop that and dilators don't prevent every case, but I imagine it would help decrease the chances.)

[–]goldenchild-1 2ポイント3ポイント  (3子コメント)

If they're allowed to practice, why is my "practicing" so frowned upon?

[–]FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Using dilators != masturbation.

Start with the small one, insert, relax/chill/read/TV/whatever as long as it's a super relaxing and calm activity, remove and go about day as usual. Repeat for a few days (or however long the doctor recommended). Move to the next size. Repeat.

There's no in-and-out movement, no clitoral involvement, etc. It isn't intended to be particularly arousing. All it does is stretch the tissue and train the muscles to stay calm with penetration.

[–]Whiteheels 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh... So like soaking. ;)

[–]goldenchild-1 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is exactly how I masterbate ;)

[–]Xantos101 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

What is vaginismus?

[–]nanabean 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Vaginismus, sometimes called vaginism, is a condition that affects a woman's ability to engage in vaginal penetration, including sexual intercourse, manual penetration, insertion of tampons or menstrual cups, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations (pap tests). This is the result of an involuntary vaginal muscle spasm, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration painful or impossible.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus

[–]noveltynobody 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Physical and psychological condition that doesn't allow for penis in vagina penetration. It's an unconscious tightening of vaginal muscles. It can vary, but that's basically it.

[–]nanabean 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I disagree. Handing out dilators "so it wouldn't hurt as bad when [they] had sex" as if they're necessities for everyone—not just those who require sexual therapy—reinforces the fear many mormon girls have about being inherently difficult and painful, which it shouldn't be. That will more likely contribute to, rather than diffuse, sexual anxiety.

It also normalizes sexual dysfunction, so those who are actually suffering might be less inclined to seek help because they assume this is just how sex works—everyone needs these dilators, everyone experiences painful intercourse. For the women who need sexual therapy, those dilators are not sufficient.

Edit: A better approach would be to try to dispel these women's deep-set fears by telling them that sex should not hurt, but that if it does, they should then come seek out the resources the health center has available, including dilators and referrals to gynecology and sex therapy.

The best approach would be to stop instilling those anxieties in the young women in the first place, apologizing to those women for whom the damage has already been done. (And then continue with the "better approach" described above.)

[–]FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think that would entirely depend on how they are introduced. Comments abouteeveryone having sexual pain would obviously not help.

[–]BFoftheAdvocate 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

just the thought of my tithing money going to vaginal dilators.... makes me so much happier lol can I just pretend that billions weren't spent on a mall and instead were spent on vaginal dilators instead? The vaults holding these things much be massive! Anyone confirm?? Are there pallets of vaginal dilators in the vaults of the mountain? I wonder if they only come in "flesh" color? I hope they are made of silicone, some of those "plastics" don't feel right.... so I'm told :O

[–]nanabean 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

The vault of vaginal dilators is an amusing idea, but I wouldn't be so quick to praise the Church for this program. They are just giving these women tools to cure a condition that they caused in the first place. Female sexual pain disorders are most often psychosomatic dysfunctions caused by sexual trauma and stress from abuse and/or shaming. Physical therapy (i.e., using dilators) is only a part of what these women need in order to obtain a healthy, pain-free sex life. What they really need is sexual/emotional therapy.

In fact, vaginal dilators can compound the problem by focusing only on the physical aspect of the condition, leading affected women to think they only need to "stretch themselves out" rather than address the underlying issues. They can cause themselves more pain and reinforce the anxiety that they associate with sex.

[–]MinisteringAngle 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

That was my question when I heard of it too. How come all the high school students across the world having sex don't need dilators, but the BYU students do??

[–]nanabean 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because female sexual pain disorders are most often psychosomatic dysfunctions. In this case, 20 years or so of the sexual shaming and repression within the Church might infect your sexuality to the point that your pubococcygeus muscles will involuntarily spasm and contract in response to anxiety, causing intense discomfort or even debilitating pain during sexual contact, which then reinforces the anxiety associated with sex—what's known as the cycle of pain.

People who don't grow up with such a damaging misunderstanding of sex and their bodies, generally don't experience the kind of sexual anxiety that induces pain disorders.

[–]guellikeafish 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

They did to me in late 2014.

[–]TennisTwin 29ポイント30ポイント  (9子コメント)

Frankly, this seems fairly sex-positive for BYU. I'm all for handing college kids bags of dildos.

[–]LazyOffendedSinnerEnjoys long walks with Satan 19ポイント20ポイント  (8子コメント)

As am I, but the "read the scriptures while you use 'em" part unfortunately makes the use about a million times less sexy.

[–]ayecapnx 7ポイント8ポイント  (6子コメント)

Everyone has their fetish...

[–]UltimateDracoMeteorWe believe in being dishonest, false, and belligerent. 7ポイント8ポイント  (1子コメント)

"And it came to pass..."

[–]ayecapnx 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yea verily. Yea. Yea... YEA!!!

[–]glockenspiel69 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

MMMMMMM YISSSSSS.... Stripling Warriors!!!!!

[–]ayecapnx 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

So many iron rods....

[–]ShynessEst 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yup. So we know what the fetish of the people who surprised the poor woman with dilators is...

What the poor woman's fetish is, we don't know. I'm ok with this.

[–]ayecapnx 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

And round and round the world spins madly on.

[–]rptd3xYou can't have one tenth of all my ziff! 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The scriptures on the other hand, become much more sexy...

Kind of like how the old "sing a hymn" advice, and how it just ends up triggering sexy thoughts during sacrament meeting when the opening hymn just happens to be the one you associate with dirty, lusty sex thoughts.

Actually I'm pretty sure that in a lot of cases this would just create confusion, and then any pleasure that came from the subsequent sex would just end up creating guilt and frustration. Stupid "church".

[–]kipalip15 12ポイント13ポイント  (0子コメント)

I used to work there and put the dilator kits together! Those were the days...

[–]amisoz 7ポイント8ポイント  (11子コメント)

My wife used a vaginal sizer, AMA.

[–]zando95Running from the tentacles of Divine Providence 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

How big are you?

[–]SethHeisenberg 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

In Roy D. Mercer voice (for those who know who he is): "How bigga boy are ya?"

[–]Mavrik_VeritasFacts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Big enough to beat you like cornbread batter!"

[–]smithjrjoe 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

How did she know what "size" to use?

[–]loungesinger 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

There are several different sizes in a dilator kit. Women start with the smallest dilator and move up to the next size after.... Oh, wait. You were suggesting... Never mind.

[–]fisticuffs32The little factory that could 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you like pizza?

[–]kayjee17 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

My gynecologist gave me a set when I first mentioned becoming sexually active because I'm naturally pretty tight and she didn't want me to have a lot of pain the first time. I imagine that's probably the same reason why they give them out at BYU.

I mean, combine two (probably) very inexperienced people in what would most likely be an anxiety ridden situation (what with the "sex is bad" brainwashing for teenage TBM's), and I can see a lot of problems and pain for both the girls and the guys.

[–]sdDewDropsin the market for armies and navies 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I kind of wish I would have used them. Yikes.

[–]jakedaywilliams 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

How large is your priesthood?

[–]loungesinger 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

A good size, alright! She said it was a good size!

[–]Vinz_Clortho__ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Its size is sufficient for my needs.

[–]No_Longer_A_Menace 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

I knew they did that, but I had no idea they recommended scripture reading, lol wtf

[–]WeberStateWildcat 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Everything seemed strange but passable until I read that part. WTF indeed.

[–]TrollBoothBilly 19ポイント20ポイント  (1子コメント)

So much WTF going on here... What did they send her husband-to-be home with, some jerkins, a box of Kleenex, and Packer's "Little Factory" talk?

[–]jakedaywilliams 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sadly no. Would've appreciated it though.

[–]turncoatmormon 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'm a male so of course I can't speak from experience with women's health but while at BYU I never had to report to them that I was engaged. I only reported my marriage after the fact so that I would no longer be required to live in BYU approved housing.

So how could they have forced OPs sister to go to this meeting since they would have no way of tracking her getting engaged? I don't doubt that these meetings happen. But can I get a source on how they actually enforce required attendance?

And prescribing an antibiotic to a newlywed that presumably hasn't had sex before is not that unusual.

The sizers are kinda weird though. That's the closest BYU will ever get to telling someone to go eat a bag of dicks.

[–]kurinbo"What does God need with a starship?" 12ポイント13ポイント  (2子コメント)

So how could they have forced OPs sister to go to this meeting since they would have no way of tracking her getting engaged? I don't doubt that these meetings happen. But can I get a source on how they actually enforce required attendance?

Probably some church or BYU authority figure told her to go, which to many TBMs would be the same as being "made" to go.

[–]No_Longer_A_Menace 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yes, bishops and stake presidents often suggest that they go to these meetings. That's who told my wife she should go.

[–]GoldangI Reign from the Bathroom to the End of the Hall 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would think the last thing a BYU Bp or SP wants to have a freaked-out newlywed pounding down their door at 3am.

[–]ErraticBiologist 13ポイント14ポイント  (3子コメント)

They told her to stick them up her vag up so it wouldn't hurt as bad when she had sex

oi, smh..if it hurts you are going too fast and you need more lubrication. painful intercourse has nothing to do with virginity.

[–]vivaenmirianaMy shoulders cause boys to sin. 13ポイント14ポイント  (2子コメント)

there is a condition called vaginismus which happens (one reason at least) because of extreme fear and stress around sex. one of the steps to treat it is dilators.

[–]ErraticBiologist 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

yes, but that condition is rare not every woman has it (at least I doubt every soon to be married woman at BYU has it). the idea that first-time sex should hurt and that woman must bleed on her first time is an antiquated belief that reinforces fallacies. now there are anatomical issues that might cause painful intercourse but barring that first time intercourse should not hurt. discomfort probably, pain and blood - nope you need more foreplay.

[–]vivaenmirianaMy shoulders cause boys to sin. 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

i'm just pointing out that it felt like your first statement implied that every time if a woman hurts during sex it's because of not enough foreplay when it's simply not the case.

[–]VernonT_Waldrip 10ポイント11ポイント  (3子コメント)

Went to BYU, got married in 2008, and took the premarital class at the health center. My experience seems much more positive/less creepy than your sister's. Here's what I remember from when I went:

*I was told by the health center that to be prescribed hormonal birth control I had to take the class. If you didn't want birth control or weren't on BYU's insurance then you wouldn't be required to take the class. *The nurse who gave the class was awesome. She was quite sex-positive (aka a normal human) and told us all how important it was for us to enjoy sex (and not just try and please our husbands). *The presentation included medical diagrams of female genitalia accompanied by top tips such as how to get an orgasm - since most women achieve organism through clitoral stimulation, she pointed out the clitoris and told us to make sure our husbands gave that area extra TLC during sexy times. No info on other types of sex besides vaginal, though. *The nurse also gave us an amazing tip: avoid UTIs by peeing after sex is over. I've been married 7+ years and have NEVER gotten a UTI thanks to that advice. *After the presentation, which included a Q&A, we all went downstairs to get personal consultations with the doctor. He prescribed me my birth control and UTI medication and also gave me a set of dilators, but only after I expressed concern that I might be too tight since even tampons are uncomfortable for me. I also got lube to go along with them. *Honestly the worst piece of advice I got was to start BC so that I would have my period the week before the wedding so I would free and clear for our honeymoon. While I didn't have to worry about menstruation when my new husband I were supposed to be having fun, I was PMSing the week of my wedding. Not exactly ideal.

I'm glad I took the course. It might not have been for everyone, but my now-husband was my first and only boyfriend and the only person I ever kissed. I was 20 years old and we were both virgins when we got married; now that I have much more experience I still think the information I got was extremely helpful. I'm sure it depends on the person giving the presentation though. The nurse who gave it when I went definitely thought sex was awesome and preached the Gospel of the Female Orgasm. And no, we were NOT told to read scriptures while using the dilators. Gah. shivers

Also, the health center offered a similar class for men. I encouraged my fiancé to go and then return and report. He told me it was pretty good; my impression from what he told me was that the class was basically a crash course in how not to be selfish during sex and how to make sure your wife feels loved, respected, and gets an orgasm too. Although my husband did say that when they put up the medical diagram of a vagina one guy got up and walked out.

All in all, we both thought it was a good use of our time.

TL;DR - took the class in 2008 and had a positive experience

[–]Willyayw 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I took the class in 2007 and had the exact same experience! It was probably the same nurse, would be my guess.

[–]turncoatmormon 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Huh. I got married around the same time and I never new there was a similar class for men.

But, don't worry, on our first night and the vast majority of nights after my wife's pleasure comes before my own. ;)

[–]zaffiromitezaffiromite 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I see what you did there :)

[–]grap112ler 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

One of my friends at BYU told a funny story of a "big dildo" appearing one day in the shower she shared with one of her roommates. Being a good mormon girl, she kicked it off the side of the tub at first sight, lol. Later learned from her roommate that it was a dilator given to her by her doctor to make sex less painful. We all came up with some nickname for it that integrated part of the fiancée's name.

[–]Whoa-kay 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

On the one hand, I've had engaged friends who've been given dilators, and if it helps them to feel comfortable and more prepared, I'm all for it.

But there's something terribly sad about the fact that women who are not part of repressive religious sects get prepared for intercourse by masturbating; a highly pleasurable and natural experience they can take at their own pace while learning things about their unique body that they can share with their partner when they're ready. Meanwhile my friends are hovering over a toilet trying to stretch themselves out artificially while not being aroused, because arousal is a sin. Even accidental pleasure or learning about her body must be avoided, because that's healthy /s.

[–]aaroniousme 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I went to the U, pretty much all of us had had sex before we got married. This is the most bizarre thing I have read on this sub. Wow people, just wow.

[–]DiscoTut 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Are you saying you DON'T read your scriptures when using your dildo?

[–]laddersdazed 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sex educators/health care worker roulette why wouldn't we expect that?

[–]wife27 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Haha, I got those from the BYU health center too! They didn't tell me to read the scriptures though, just to chill when I had them in. I was a virgin when I got married and I had them

[–]exdjryan 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

BYU has a Sex Department?!?

[–]TheXax127 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

She was probably reading...

Psalms 77:16

"16 The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee; they were afraid: the depths also were troubled."

[–]Sol-Om-On 3ポイント4ポイント  (6子コメント)

They told her to read her scriptures while she used them

OMFG! That just made my day!

[–]GoldangI Reign from the Bathroom to the End of the Hall 7ポイント8ポイント  (3子コメント)

"...my breasts like towers." — Song of Solomon 8:10

Scripture porn FTW!

[–]BabyPunter3000 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

If you're into incest porn, Lot and his daughters could get you going.

[–]GoldangI Reign from the Bathroom to the End of the Hall 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

not enough description.

[–]BabyPunter3000 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, you don't know what those rabbis and scholars cut out.

[–]Lodo_the_BearAnswer the questions. Question the answers. 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses." - Ezekiel 23:20

[–]glockenspiel69 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

How could anyone NOT masturbate to this????

[–]BrannigansSlaw 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is so disturbing. I remember my best friend showing them to me once before she was married and I had to pretend to not be seriously creeped out.

Do they at least provide lube with the "sizers"? Because that's the real crime here if they don't. :/

[–]Rainyday177 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

My roommate at USU received all of that from a health center up in Logan as well. I don't know if she went to the University health center or IHC though. She said they called UTIs the honeymoon disease.

[–]ColdDodger 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would assume that, far from what I would have hoped if I were in that position, I would just find myself strangely sexually repressed unless I were deliberately dwelling on how bad I am for wanting to be aroused.

[–]choose_the_riceLet your Kokaubeam so shine 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, we have those BYU medical center issued turkey baster things. They are probably still around the house somewhere.

[–]glockenspiel69 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

"They told her to read her scriptures while she used them."

Reminds me of the bizarre rituals my mission president suggested to help me "resolve" late night boners and wet dreams. He suggested I tie a thick blanket around my waist every night so if a ninja erection popped up, I would be less tempted to masturbate and be done with it. That and a healthy dose of MOTAB and prayer before bed.

Mormons are fucking hilarious.

[–]guellikeafish 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I was given those as an option in the health center. I wasn't told to read the scriptures or anything. However, they didn't clearly instruct me not to use lotions or whatever. I researched and found out myself. They look more like a space ship than a dick though tbh.

[–]VanillaWaiver 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Read the scriptures - better if they discussed lube, relaxation and foreplay to help with dilators (and eventually, sex) Re: antibiotics/uti. This is unnecessary if women are aware that if they have had a bowel movement since last bath/shower, if they have a quick clean of anal area before sex they probably won't get a uti (yes, urinating after can help as it washes out any fecal bacteria that's been pushed up the urinary tract). Bidets really do have a purpose - besides washing dainties or small puppies! Also my best friend's sister (nonmo) was given Dilators in 1982 so she could get any pain over with and enjoy her honeymoon. if it helps someone that's fine - as long as it's not a person presuming that you haven't had some sexual exploration pre-wedding.

[–]duckeee32 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

That happened to a friend of mine as well. And the doctor told her she needed to ask her fiance how big be was so she wouldn't go too big or small.

[–]Sexytexasexmo 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Read...the scriptures...while she was...using them...

Oh god no.

[–]2close2call 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Holy shit is this for real? can others confirm this happens at BYU when you get married?

[–]radicalgeekery 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

O_o

I'm really glad I got to skip all that, and I went o BYU-Idaho. What the hell?!

[–]smithjrjoe 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Is this the culprit? https://www.vaginismus.com/vaginal-dilator-set/

[–]jeffreyeyr 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can anyone else verify this? I went to BYU and pretty sure this sort of thing was not common place.

[–]fluteitup 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

...read your scriptures while sticking a dildo in your vag? BYU is fucked up. on the plus side, I cannot WAIT to tell my fiance about this

[–]Adamwasayetti 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think back on a horrible wedding night and wish my wife had used vaginal sizers.

[–]WeenercopterGently grasp the penis at the base and vigrously twirl. -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm skeptical of your description. I know several women who have participated in something similar while at BYU, and it wasn't weird or gross or perverted. It was no different than a voluntarily-attended general class and then a private meeting with a doctor. You make it sounds like the Church goes around roping young women in the back of vans to forcibly give them a gynecology lesson.

No one "made" your sister do anything.

Before my wife and I got married, she got a vaginal "dilator" from her doctor as well.

We were both virgins. She was, ahem, tight . . .

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

. . . and I have a humongous cock, so, if we wanted to have an enjoyable honeymoon . . . and we did have an enjoyable honeymoon! I'm glad she used them--and so is she.

Anyway, the "read your scriptures" part was creepy. I'll give you that.

EDIT: And just drink cranberry juice if you're worried about UTIs.

[–]velvetstageghost 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I like how progressive this sounds for such a repressive school, but it's not enough. Were they just given plastic/rubber tubes to shove up there and get used to the pain. Vibrators would be better for clitoral stimulus and enjoyment. Scriptures are not good at making you wet. But it's all about pleasing the husband and making babies right? Goddammit girls deserve sexuality. It makes me mad that we're supposed to stay virtuous and get used to the pain.

[–][削除されました]  (14子コメント)

[removed]

    [–]Tindale 12ポイント13ポイント  (7子コメント)

    How do you have the arrogance to claim you know what went on in every one of these classes, year after year?

    [–]dudando -3ポイント-2ポイント  (6子コメント)

    You are right, I don't know what happened years ago. For the past decade at least the class is voluntary. Of this I have first hand experience.

    I am a third generation BYU grad. No one in my extended family, most of whom went to BYU, has ever mentioned anything like a mandatory sex class.

    So at the very least, the first sentence of this anecdote contains a lie...a half truth at best. Do what you will with the rest of it. I think it's pretty clearly been exaggerated to get upvotes.

    [–][削除されました]  (5子コメント)

    [removed]

      [–]dudando 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

      Sorry, I came across more harsh than I meant to. If you want I'll edit the comment to sound nicer.

      This sub can turn into an echo chamber, and sometimes I feel like it turns into a "let's make fun of those ignorant mormons." It just doesn't ring true.

      Your experience was different than mine. Mine was first hand, yours was second hand. Currently, women at BYU can get birth control from the health center, no questions asked. I know that the people there are doing their best to be sex positive, and then I see stories like this that seem totally exaggerated and I worry that it will turn people off from going to the health center when they actually need help. Current BYU students are all over this sub, and this story is only going to turn them off from one of the truly good, positive resources that they have.

      Vaginal dilators are a completely normal thing that a woman would get from any doctor when they become sexually active. I felt like your characterization came from ignorance to get a cheap laugh. If that wasn't your intention, I am sorry. I am sorry for the tone as well.

      [–]nanabean 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Vaginal dilators are a completely normal thing that a woman would get from any doctor when they become sexually active.

      Vaginal dilators are used for treating relatively rare (not at all "completely normal") sexual dysfunctions like vaginismus, and most women would not have any need to get them upon becoming sexually active. The fact that BYU offers them so commonly—when health centers at secular state universities outside of Utah (such as I attended) do not— suggests that BYU is aware of an unusually high prevalence of sexual dysfunction among their sexually active female students that is not found outside of that culture.

      [–]curious_mormonTruth never lost ground by enquiry.[M] 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      It's fine to disagree, but you can't make personal attacks.

      [–]dudando -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

      One more thing: it is illegal for the school to interfere with a doctor/patient relationship like that. Either you forgot some details or you weren't told the truth.

      [–]curious_mormonTruth never lost ground by enquiry. 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Yeah, that rule isn't always enforced in Mormon culture. It's the same reason people recommend avoiding LDS social services.

      [–]doing_well_in_spite 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

      I can confirm. Checks out.

      [–]momonomoyo[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

      There is really no need to be nasty. Maybe the class you went to was different. I assure you that this happened. It was in 2005. They also encouraged her to spend her wedding night writing in her journal. I remember that I also found that quite funny.

      [–]dudando 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

      You are right. I'm sorry for the tone. It was a mistake on my part.

      [–]TempleTempestJust your stereotypical exmo 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

      If it helps, my sister's similar experience was in 2007.

      [–]curious_mormonTruth never lost ground by enquiry.[M] 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

      No personal attacks.

      [–]dudando 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Thanks for the reminder. I apologized farther down and will be more careful in the future.