I wouldn't say "abusive" - but I would say that a lot of modern parenting practices are damaging to babies by ignoring the needs of the human infant. This is especially true of the psychological needs of the human infant.

I do, in fact, have one baby under a year, and I'm turning 40 this year, so this is our first and last baby. We want to do this right. Now, there are important things and unimportant things - for example, my baby doesn't give a damn what diapers she wears, so we use disposables. Cloth diapers are a huge pain to deal with. But some things are worth the pain. Some things are actual needs of the baby rather than sanctimommy showing-off. And a lot of modern parenting practices neglect those needs.

For example, a baby actually needs to form a strong relationship with a caretaker (attachment). Four out of ten children in the US do not form such a bond:

https://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S39/59/37A89/index.xml?section=topstories

Note that the way to form a strong attachment with your baby is by responding to their crying or other signals. CIO disrupts that. The popularity of CIO may be one of the reasons that disrupted attachment is at epidemic proportions.

And I'm not too terribly exhausted by the expectations I've set for myself. The real needs of a baby aren't all that exhausting. Love (especially physical affection), responsiveness, intellectual stimulation (of the normal kind - conversation and social contact), and milk. I'm doing for my daughter what my mother did for me, and what her mother did for her. It's just normal parenting.