I think it's safe to say that when we women look for an LTR or a husband, we have a list of desirable traits as long as our arm. Well, Julie's the same. She's not too old to have children, she's had a few boyfriends but not anything long-term and she wants that to change. She wants a husband, a father for her future children, a captain. So she writes herself a list, considering she will be able to measure it up against friends, co-workers and dating profiles online until she meets "Mr Right".

Julie's List:

-tall (6'2"+)

-handsome (somewhere between Rupert Everett and Josh Groban)

-built, but not too bulky, like a swimmer, not a bodybuilder

-of Mediterranean or Hispanic descent

-knows how to cook and clean

-is chivalrous

-was never a PUA or similar

-never married

-over 35

-owns his own car and house

-not employed in any manual job

-earns enough for good holidays

-wants no less than 2 and no more than 3 children

-likes pets

-no allergies

-doesn't follow some special weirdo diet

-doesn't do drugs, drink or take supplements

Armed with her list, Julie starts looking for a man. She meets plenty of handsome, tall, lean men. But some don't want children, or don't want children yet. Some are still paying off a mortgage. Some ride bikes instead of drive cars. Some want a dog but no cats. Some spend too many hours in the gym and follow diets where you can't have pizza or ice-cream or cheese. Some are not quite brown enough. Some aren't polite enough to her. Some choose "staycation" holidays. Some just aren't attractive and she adds them to her list: no male nurses, no computer technicians, no crossfitters, no reptile owners, no mature students, no travelling businessmen...

After the ninth failed date, the twelfth ruled-out friend and the third rejection from a coworker, Julie returns home alone once again and opens a tub of ice-cream. It's so unfair! She's kind-of reinvented herself, gone teatotal, spent time and money on dates and she still hasn't found a husband. Where have all the good men gone?

A month later her best friend has got engaged. She resents it a little, but reminds herself how important it is not to fight over something neither of them can control. Having written her a congratulating email, right before sending, she adds:

"PS: How do you do it? You must have worked some magic magnetism to attract that man!"

Her friend responds by saying there are plenty of marriageable men out there. But there aren't. Are there?

Lying in bed that night, Julie puts her hand on her stomach and wonders whether she'll ever be able to have children. She may have decades to go, she could freeze her eggs, but... for what? If no man will settle with her, if no man will have children with her, then it doesn't matter what she does.

The next morning, after a partially sleepless night, she calls her friend as she prepares her make-up for work.

"I just don't know how you do it Susan! You dated a few guys and out of nowhere he just appears. You get your second date. Four years later you're married."

"We just 'clicked', you know?"

Julie sighs. "No, I don't."

"It's hard to explain, but when you date with a goal in mind, you eventually find someone who wants someone like you as much as you want someone like them."

"Uh-huh..."

"OK, OK, what I mean is, we started seeing each other and we wanted the same things in life, so we figured we could chase them together. After a few years we've worked out where we want to be and that we want to be there together."

"But how do you find someone who wants what you want? I mean, the list just gets bigger and bigger! How on Earth am I going to find a man who meets all the requirements?"

Susan laughs. "Surely there can't be that many?"

"Wait, I'll get the list..."

Julie reads the list to her friend, who went from affirming and laughing to gradually silent.

"So?" Julie gasps in exasperation.

"Are you serious?"

"What do you mean?"

"You want a fit, allergy-free toned, olive-skinned man over 35 who eats pizza, has never been married or slept around, who doesn't drink or take supplements, who wants kids and pets and who earns the living of a Dr?"

"Well, when you put it like that it sounds daft, yes."

"Woman, you're daft. If there is such a man out there, he's probably the sort of social recluse you wouldn't want to date anyway. Or asexual. Or gay."

"Now that's just rude."

"Julie, I don't mean to be, but listen, if a guy wanted a blonde bombshell, 20 year old Swedish supermodel with an IQ of 150 who wants no kids and pets, will support him for life and spend all day baking and cleaning for him, then I'd tell him the same damn thing."

"Is it really that ridiculous? I'm never going to find anyone, am I?"

"Julie, listen. I don't think you actually need all those things in a man. In fact I don't think you actually want them! I'm gonna pop round your house tomorrow and we'll revise your list together, right?"

"Sure..."

The next day, Julie sits apprehensively staring at her list. Can it really be fixed? Could she really let anything go? This is the man she'd set her heart on. And yet, maybe he really doesn't exist? Or maybe he really wouldn't fancy her?

A knock at the door. Julie lets Susan in and makes a tea before sitting down to business.

"So, what do you need in a man?"

"Well, make him handsome and-"

"No, no, no! That's not a need. That's a preference, a perk. What do you NEED? What would be impossible to live without, what would need to tie-in with your future?"

"Well... I want children. Two or three. No more, but not just one."

"Good, that's better." Susan grins. "So we need a guy who wants two or three children. What else?"

Slowly they worked through the list. Now, the stripped list looks like this...

Julie's Revised List:

-physically healthy

-is polite

-over 25

-wants no less than 2 and no more than 3 children

-likes pets

-doesn't do drugs

Julie looks at her list and frowns. "But what if we're not a match?"

"Then you carry on dating. It's not like the first guy to walk in will be Prince Charming. Eventually you'll find someone good. There are enough marriageable guys out there."

That same day Julie goes and changs her online dating profile. She starts forcing herself to talk with the men she'd initially have rejected. She even sends messages to ones she'd previously ignored, apologizing and making the odd excuse for her lack of response.

She tries to only have one or two dates a week, to let her think every partner over.

After a few months she meets Dave. She wouldn't consider him gorgeous, but there is something about him that was pleasant to look at and draws her in. He is polite and has interesting things to talk about. He is a little younger than she'd have liked at 28, but she sees so much potential in him. He loves dogs and children. Dave is also half-Hispanic, which she considers a big plus. Now she's going steady with him. She started drinking again, in moderation. They're going to the gym together. He sometimes cooks for her and she makes an effort to cook his favourites for him. She isn't sure if he's the guy she wants to marry, but he's definitely the guy she wants to be with now. He makes her happy and she's finding herself more attracted to his figure and less bothered by his income every day. It doesn't matter. He's good conversation, good in bed, a strong leader and an excellent candidate for future father of her children. And she's thankful she let him into her life.