Quick back story. My girlfriends friend (M) has been living with a guy (B) as basically husband and wife for 8 years. M is still legally married to another friend of ours (F). F is now seeing a mutual friend of (T) and (M). This has sent (M) off the rails and she's mad at (T) for still being friends with (S and F). She's gotten personal and is trying to tell T she better not find out S and F were over at our house together. Finally T had enough and blew up telling M to take her meds. I get a text from M asking if I had seen what T and wrote her...like I was going to be appalled or something. This is my reply.

Yes M. I did see it. Actually I've seen more communication between all the parties involved than I cared to. I've tried to remain this situations equivalent of Switzerland, the "neutral party." The reason being (besides the fact the Vatican Guards have some sweet ass outfits...just call me Capt. Puffy Britches) is for one, I've personally had way too much drama in my life the last couple years. And honestly...I'm tired. And I'm sick of it. I'm just plain sick and tired of it. And for two, the less I know...the better. I don't want to get caught in the middle of he said she said, who I can be friends with and who I can't, and allllll of the other crap that goes along with the emotional train wreck that is "A Fight Between Chicks." Especially chicks that are great friends. I've seen it, been around it, and dealt with it, more times than I can count. Once is too much for me.

Listen, I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear this but, I can be prrrrretty immature. I KNOW, RIGHT!!! I am the first to admit that. But those times I've dealt with chicks fighting are some of the most insane, childish, and emotional rollercoaster times I’ve seen. It's like stepping into an episode of The Twilight Zone. Imagine if you will (in my best Rod Sterling voice) a 4 year old girl going through puberty and menopause at the same time...yes I said 4 year old. Combine her emotional stability with that of a pregnant woman that is 17 weeks overdue...yes I said 17 weeks, a rabid dog that has Alzheimer's, and Hurricane fucking Katrina.

That is what it is like when two girls...so called best friends...bicker. Or fight. Or whatever the hell this is. It makes it to where I'm walking on eggshells. And when it comes up, the mood in the room becomes that of what I imagine is the overall atmosphere in Hell at this very minute. When that happens, there are times that I think Hell would be a better place to be. At least there I could surf the "Lake of Fire" and work on my tan, while everybody's sorting out their shit.

I've had my fill of it honestly. It gets to the point where I feel like I'm back on the playground in Middle School. But at least on the playground I got to play four square, I was king of the tetherball court, and I was being chased by girls trying to kiss me (no lie. I was kind of a big deal). These chick fights though are seriously tiring. I favor the way guys take care of things. Duke that shit out and be done with it.

However, to be completely honest, you are 100% wrong in this situation. Now M, I think you're great. You're fun to be around. I value your friendship. I think you've been awesome. You've been an amazing friend to T. Even when others weren't from what I hear. You've been an amazing friend to me. I have valued that and you and B's friendship.

But with that being said. It's gotten to the point where I can't hold my tongue any longer. So if you can't take someone disagreeing with you, or just plain constructive criticism, then please, I implore you to not read any further. I promise you, you are absolutely not going to like what you read. Because like T, I have gotten to the point where I can't take it anymore. So, I'm pretty much going to just lay it all out. And that's exactly what happened with T.

You asked if I read what she said? Yes. And what she said is the result of taking it and taking it and taking it...like a Nickleback fan in prison...and trying and trying and trying to not take sides. But because we are human, there comes a point where even Mother Teresa would cuss out the Pope while kicking him in the dick. If the visual of Pope getting kicked in the sack wasn't good enough, my point is that a person can only take so much until they explode.

You say things you may or may not mean. You say things that may or may not be true. But I can tell you this. I agree with every word she said. Every word. It's all true. I've waited a day to write and send this to you because I wanted to sleep on it, think about it, and try and be rational so I didn't come off as being &just& a prick. I say &just& because I know I'm going to be a prick. Oh, I intend on being a prick. But, I also intend to throat punch you with words. Or give you the verbal equivalent of an MMA smackdown. But I'll tell you, even after a day, I still agree with everything she said. Everything. And the thing is, I would have said it a long time ago.

No one's calling you crazy. No one is saying you're insane. And when she said to take your meds, it's because we all know that you're on medication for emotional stability. Strong medication. And we've seen how emotional you were the last few weeks, especially the few days when B said you possibly forgot to take your medication. Whether that was an excuse for something else, I don't know. I'm just going off of what he said. I’m not trying to throw a low blow at you. I say all of this with as much love as I can. But when you're acting the way you are, that becomes a serious question.

The behavior you are exhibiting is what I would classify as &not normal.& Obsessive and downright crazy and actually. Which in turn becomes plain scary at times. I've actually said that I wouldn't be surprised for one, if not all of us, to come home one day and find a rabbit in a pot of boiling hot water on the stove. I can't imagine myself, or anyone actually, acting the way you are. Like I said on more than one occasion, I'm one of the most immature people around, but I tell you have me beat hands down.

My immaturity is that of an 8 year old laughing at a fart. Your immaturity is displayed in the fact that you deleted and/or blocked T, myself, and her entire family on Facebook. Now I can see why you would T. And I'll even go as far as me. But everyone else? And then I'm assuming you had B and the others do it as well. Honestly, I could give a crap less about FB. I hate FB at times. For this very reason. But the fact that you did that, just proves my point. You've showed your immaturity on FB more times than I can count with your vague status updates. Fishing for comments, or encouragement, or whatever. With your little quotes about being wronged and what not. With your vomiting your personal drama all over my Newsfeed. It's about the most immature thing I see people do. And that's coming from me!

I gotta say, from the very first day this came out I was telling T, S, and F that you were completely wrong. That it was none of your business. I stayed out of it and didn't say anything as long as I could. But when you started putting words in our mouths, telling F that nobody wanted him here, that's when I had to speak up and tell F that was a lie. I told F as far as I was concerned, I was happy for him if he was happy. But I said the thing to watch out for, and where I thought he was wrong, was that she was still married. Whether she was in a happy marriage or not, that could cause a lot of problems. Of course you should know, right M? The fact that youve been in a polygamist marriage for 8 years. You know, being legally married to F and having a common-law marriage to B. I mean, that would cause a lot of problems in court since polygamy is illegal and all. Eight years. Eight years M! Eight fucking years! You've been with another man for eight fucking years! I'll let you ponder on that for a minute. I KNOW, RIGHT!!!

Why are you so obsessed with T, S and F hanging out? What makes sense is you still have feelings for F. The only other explanation is that you boarded the Starship Irrational, Hyperdrive is engaged, and you are halfway to Planet Crazy Town in the Galaxy of Fatal Attraction...formerly know as Obsessed Much Galaxy.

Now, I know I'm being silly, but this whole thing sounds like the plot of a Lifetime Movie of the Week. Lifetime presents, "Bat Shit, Meet Crazy: A Story of Love, Murder, A Triangle, and a Bat Shit Crazy Woman." A woman scorned. Duh, da duuuuuhh. A woman betrayed. Duh, da duuuuuhh. A best friend that has stabbed her in the back. Duh, da duuuuuhh. But not really because she's been with another man for 8 years even though she's still legally married to another guy who she's mad about for seeing her friend's friend and her friend doesn't agree with her and is still friends with her other friend and...hhhhuuuh...well, know the rest...like every other Lifetime movie . Duh, da duuuuuhh.

I don't want it to end up that way. I mean besides the whole somebody getting murdered thing, who's going to play me now that Robin Williams is no longer with us? I mean...I know he really wouldn't look right bald, but he's the only one that could come close to matching my personality. I mean unlike the reincarnated version of him. Well...except for the fact that he died in 2014 and I'm 40 years old. But that aside...the reincarnated version. He did die on my birthday, though...ponder on that for a minute. I KNOW, RIGHT!!!

P.S. Tell B to grow a pair and tell you how he really feels because he told us that he agrees with us. I don't know if his eggs just never dropped or what but he may need to get his estrogen levels checked because he's acting like a little bitch.