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ShitTRUEIrishmenSay: Welcome to Patty's Day 2016! (self.ShitAmericansSay)

ObrakaToo sexy to flair が 投稿 - stickied post

Dearest leprechauns, goblins and other Irishmen and women,

It's the best day of the year again. St. Patrick's Day, or how we call it here in the glorious Irish city of Boston: Patty's Day!. Today we celebrate the day Saint Patrick drove off the English from our motherland and restored the Irish kingdom in 1954.

Use this thread for all your juicy true Irish stories about Patty's Day and how drunk you were on green light beer that one time. Posts with reddit threads to Patty shit are still okay of course, but please use only this thread for real life stories and anecdotes.

We wish you all a nice Patty's day and don't forget to get shit drunk, start some fights and wear some green. We're all Irish after all and that's just our heritage!

PS: We are starting the party on St. Patty's Day Australia time because that's just how we roll

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[–]fresheadMaybe after the war we’ll be civilized again 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm at home with a five day old baby. So I'm basically covered in someone else's vomit and other bodily fluids, just like a real Irishman.

[–]NechaefI hate free speech! 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

They grow out of that. When they arrive at crotch hight and they have a cold the leave a traill of snot. Source have a 13year old.

[–]silence_hrEngland really butchers the English language 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'll put a green t-shirt on so I can comment in here. I am 1/2056 Irish. I had a Guinness once.

[–]averagemonkeyA Scandinavian is the most qualified to bear my children 3ポイント4ポイント  (7子コメント)

As a proud Irishman (just look at my last name), I've been looking forward to Patty's Day all damn year! Oh man this is gonna be great, I'll treat myself to an Irish Carbomb to get the party started.

Now let's all sing along: ♫ In Boston's fair city, where girls are so pretty, I first set my eyes on sweet... ♫♪

[–]Martlead 1ポイント2ポイント  (6子コメント)

Am I missing sarcasm? A true Irishman would not call it 'Pattys' Day unless he was referring to the feast of St. Patricia. He would also find the name of a drink such as "Irish Car Bomb" to be incredibly offensive.

[–]averagemonkeyA Scandinavian is the most qualified to bear my children 4ポイント5ポイント  (3子コメント)

Have you ever even been to Ireland? I come from a proud Irish family, and growing up in South Boston I was surrounded by Irish people my whole childhood. Who are you to come here and tell me about my own culture? You don't know anything about Ireland unless you have Irish blood.

[–]mirozi 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

obviously irishmen in boston are more irish than irishmen in ireland, because they don't mingle with filthy englishmen.

[–]Martlead 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Born and raised!

[–]averagemonkeyA Scandinavian is the most qualified to bear my children 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The people of Ireland are barely even Irish anymore. They have been influenced too much by the British and the Europeans and have not held on to their proud culture. The Irish have become weak – a mere remnant of what they used to be – and now their country is being taken over by Shariah Law. You should come over to visit me and the lads, we'll take you to our local Irish Pub and remind you what Irish culture really is.

[–]ObrakaToo sexy to flair[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

Am I missing sarcasm?

Pretty clearly, yes

[–]Martlead 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

My bad. Carry on good sir.

[–]finigian 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I shall be drinking from 2 pm tomorrow, I'll do some Irish dancing and wet the shamrock, while pretending to be Irish.

Happy Paddy's Day to you all x

[–]ObrakaToo sexy to flair[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (8子コメント)

Thanks to /u/twisteddoodles for letting us use his brilliant cartoon for the sidebar.

More of his/her stuff can be found at http://www.twisteddoodles.com/ and social media thingies

[–]averagemonkeyA Scandinavian is the most qualified to bear my children 6ポイント7ポイント  (3子コメント)

What a stupid comic. Paddy and Patty are pronounced exactly the same, dumbass. Learn English.

[–]ObrakaToo sexy to flair[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (2子コメント)

Only when you have a potato in your mouth

[–]averagemonkeyA Scandinavian is the most qualified to bear my children 5ポイント6ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm Irish (great grandfather's mother was from Edinburgh), and that comment is actually really offensive.

[–]ObrakaToo sexy to flair[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The Irish dilemma. When faced with a potato, eat it, or make booze of it?

[–]mirozi 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

gosh darn you, Obraka. we need to ban you again, now for mentioning other users... can mod ban himself?

[–]ObrakaToo sexy to flair[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well, that's more or less the only rule where we mods DO except ourselves (and quite a lot of users too if the ping is validated).

[–]mirozi 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

come on, you can't use logic in your defence. it's not fair.

[–]ObrakaToo sexy to flair[S] 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Since I am already pinging in this thread. /u/oolongsspiritanimal please feel invited to post your company Patty's day story here!

[–]nessie7Doing an ethnographic study on the tribe of Yuropooristan 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I slept with an irish gal some years ago, so I'm totes irish!

Drinking starts at noon tomorrow, gotta get drunk early, got an important meeting on Friday, that I should proooobably be sober for, but most likely wont.

[–]ChuckCarmichaelFreedom ends where the areola begins. 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've been to an Irish pub a few times and even won a pub quiz there, can I apply for Irish citizenship? I've also been there once and it turned out it was St. Patrick's Day, so I'm basically a native.

[–]b3ntleg 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

My Irish ancestors moved England and Scotland and not to America with the true Irish, so I have no right to claim Irish heritage.

[–]JebusGobsonEurofag Extraordinaire! 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ayyyy me wee lads we're going to have a mighty fine party we will!

[–]thewindinthewillowsThey don't really have elections in Germany 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

I have a very nice name now. I want to keep it.

Also... is that green river photoshopped, or do they actually do that?

[–]ObrakaToo sexy to flair[S] 0ポイント1ポイント  (2子コメント)

Also... is that green river photoshopped, or do they actually do that?

I think it's a bit enhanced, but yeah, they actually do that

[–]thewindinthewillowsThey don't really have elections in Germany 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

At which I guess I'm showing my German-ness, because my first thought was honestly "but what about the environment?"

[–]averagemonkeyA Scandinavian is the most qualified to bear my children 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Calm down there, Simone Peter.

[–]FloZone 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Remember its /pæɾiː/ with a d !

[–]linsell 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm a proud 1/8th Irish Australian, but I've never before felt the need to bring that up.

[–]Antimony_tetroxideThe pope is anti-God. 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

According to my Aryan certificatese I am probably descended from Charlemagne. There are more than enough patriots descended from Charlemagne. Due to homoeopathy, I'm a trillion (i.e. 10004) times more Scotch-Irish than the entire rural population of Boston put together and thus qualified to comment here:

The banner looks great, I'm wearing the same T-shirt as our snoo, right now because I'm Irish. The only thing that's irking me is the comic misspelling "Patty" as "Paddy", ruining the joke of it being a homonym to "patty". Also, I don't get the title. What the cuck is "Patty Patty not" even supposed to mean? If I, as an Irishman don't get it, nobody does.

Due to Irishness, I had drunk so much green beer earlier today that my piss turned green. I was also so drunk (must be those Irish genes) that I drank my piss afterwards. I didn't taste a difference and changed to green IPAs after that. There are more different types of IPAs than I, being Irish, can count. Anyway, I'm bored now, so I'm going to grab a few freedom rifles and drive to a nearby school for some fun, does anyone want to come with me?

Did I mention I'm Irish? I'm also drunk. Because I'm Irish. Unlike those queen-fellating cucks in Shakirastan. Shakira isn't Irish because Mexicans can't be Irish. Unlike me. An Irish Irishman. Who is Irish. Irish.

[–]Erik_Meijer_ 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Ladies and gentlemen, please rise and remove your 'kiss me I'm Irish' hats for our national anthem

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29UMACdfyZw

... and thank you for your service to all our men and women in uniform serving overseas in the Provisional IRA."