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[–]DowagerCountess 78ポイント79ポイント  (35子コメント)

Dude, there are so many men who are attracted to men and women...most of them just don't identify as bi. It's weird.

[–]PhazonZimHarbinger of Muffins 19ポイント20ポイント  (4子コメント)

I agree with the first and second part but not the third. I think the stigma of men potentially wanting sexual relationships with other men is still pretty strong. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a good amount of straight women who are totally fine with gay men, but get squicky about it when it comes to themselves potentially interacting with a man who has had sex with another man.

It's silly of those women to think that way, but I don't think it's weird that bi men don't want to announce it for fear of encountering one such woman and/or the usual homophobes.

[–]sean_ake 13ポイント14ポイント  (2子コメント)

but I don't think it's weird that bi men don't want to announce it for fear of encountering one such woman and/or the usual homophobes.

As a male, because I've had sex with other men in the past with protection, midwestern women have literally told me they won't have sex with me because I most likely have HIV.

[–]cuttlefish_tragedy 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's like they've never heard of modern medicine, and these things called "blood tests".

[–]lbeaty1981Gaystapo Double Agent 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Texan here, same. Fortunately, I lean more toward guys anyway so it's not a huge issue.

[–]Helovinas 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

I wouldn't be surprised if there were a good amount of straight women who are totally fine with gay men, but get squicky about it when it comes to themselves potentially interacting with a man who has had sex with another man.

There was a thread espousing precisely this POV rolling through my Twitter TL just a couple days ago.

[–]meoka2368 9ポイント10ポイント  (4子コメント)

I don't identify as bi, because I'm pan...

[–]bgaesop 3ポイント4ポイント  (3子コメント)

What's the distinction you're drawing? I ask as a bi man

[–]oditogreUnlabeled 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I usually will say bi if somebody asks because it's so much simpler and the difference is kind of quibbling, but I think pan is probably a better label for myself, personally. I also think of it as Courage Wolf sexuality. ;)

Basically it's that gender doesn't seem to have a significant / noticeable impact on whether or to what degree I find people attractive. It's like ears, or toes, or the neck, if you're not one of the people who has a particular fetish for those things. Like, you're aware of them in the back of your mind, of course, but they don't seem to have any practical / noticeable bearing on whether or not you get aroused.

It doesn't seem to make sense to define my sexuality as being attracted to either or to both sexes in the same way it doesn't make sense to define it as being attracted to either or both of attached or dangly earlobes. I understand why the former is socially useful, hence defaulting to 'bi' for casual inquirers, but it's not a label I'd personally take on or define myself as.

[–]meoka2368 -2ポイント-1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Bi means you like men and women. Pan means that you like men and women, but also people who don't fit within that binary scope (genderfluid, agender, etc.)

[–]Phandango92 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I can absolutely respect your pan identity, and logic for using that label while also noting that the the idea bisexual = binary attraction + reinforces the notion of a binary gender is somewhat outdated, and not true of others who use bisexual as their label.

Many who identify as bisexual (myself included) feel that it reflects attraction to 2 groups: people of their own gender and people who are not. Also, some feel that a bisexual identity makes no judgment about biological sex at birth, meaning that bi folks may be attracted to non-binary/gender minority folks as well. Further, people (myself included) may use the bisexual label as a means of empowerment to combat stigma, and in part, to honor a history of work around bi-issues in our often fractured and neglected communities (under the mantle of 'bisexuality').

Point being, the conversation around the bi-identity has changed, and it is no longer used simply to note binary attraction, just as "Queer" went from meaning "Odd", to "Gay" (derogatorily), to "gender/sexual minority" (affirmingly).