Don't want to specify any time, dates, locations etc. As I'm worried he'll find out who I am and contact me, I've asked him to stay away. Sorry if this is the wrong place to type this, but I feel more comfortable putting it here than anywhere else.

After reading a few things I noticed that alot of things were similar with my ex partner in the last 4-6 months of our relationship where he changed.

First thing, at the beginning of the year he said he was going to start working out as part of his new years resolution, as he was somewhat chubby but not too bad that it was a concern to health or anything. Every time he worked out he reminded me that the only reason he done it was for me, not because he wanted to, but because he noticed the way I "looked" at other fit, buff men in films or TV shows and how grateful I should feel.

I mean sure, if I see an attractive man I'm gonna notice it but I'm not going to drop my partner for anyone, just exactly the same as if he looked at other women, I trust him enough to not go there.

Secondly, he booked a load of holidays for our anniversary off work, as in he wanted me to go abroad, expecting me to go. I was at college doing my final pieces of work and most of the holidays he booked were around the time of my hand ins, so I had to say to him...sorry but I can't do this. Can we wait 6 months for when I've finished college and everythings handed in and over? He took it as an immediate offence. He went out of his way to book these dates and I couldn't take a bit of time off college for him? He took time off for me (Even though his course was entirely different) so why couldn't I for him?

Thirdly, I developed some minor health concerns...don't want to go into details, but basically sex hurt. It was extremely uncomfortable. The thought of it, at the time, was painful so I was never in the mood to do anything. The doctors were doing what they can, upping prescriptions and doing swab checks and stuff, but that wasn't good enough.

He expected me to do sexual favours for him still and made me feel bad for not wanting to do anything for him. It was really upsetting not being able to do anything for myself anyway, but he would sit there in pain and say 'ouch'. When I asked what was wrong, his response was 'I'm blue balling, which means it hurts because I'm not getting sex and you won't go down on me. Don't worry about it though, coz you're sick right?.' but he'd say it in such a monotone way and give me a cold stare.

And speaking of pain, during the time of the month he stopped feeling sympathy for me after a while. It was my fault I was hurting when I bled because I wouldn't get any contraception for myself or research other methods to help reduce the pain. So he done it for me and was adamant that I should go. Because I refused, whenever I was in bed in pain he'd just sigh and say 'I told you what to do, you didn't listen.' like, what the hell, it's my vagina, what gave him the right to tell me what to do with it?

Fourth thing, he started getting somewhat cold and aggressive towards my male friends or just men in general. I think coz he started gaining a little muscle he felt he could be my guard or something. I bumped into a male friend from college purely by coincidence at a shopping centre whilst my ex was quickly picking something up from one of the shops. My friend stopped talking to me as he was staring over my shoulder, I looked back and my ex was stood there frozen with the biggest 'what the fuck are you doing, I'm watching you' look to my friend. I said I was sorry, I didn't know what was wrong. My friend just awkwardly said bye and left, when I asked my ex what was wrong he said 'You shouldn't trust men like that, I don't feel comfortable with you talking to him alone.'

Fifth and most important, he suddenly decided that my parents needed to know that I was raped just after I finished school. It's been nearly 5 years, I've had my therapy and counselling and it's all water under the bridge now. I resent the guy who done it, but I feel bringing it all back up isn't going to do anything worthwhile, especially as I want nothing more to do with that person. My ex got very threatening, 'theres nothing stopping me from calling your parents and me telling them. They have a right to know because they're family. I could tell them anytime. Or you can tell them'. Thankfully, he never told them (Sort of...but I'll get to that) but I always felt extremely anxious going back to my parents incase he called them without telling me.

So things started building up and I realised I wasn't happy seeing him anymore. I used to look forward to meeting up with him because he genuinely made me happy and things were amazing, but I suddenly started dreading it. He changed so suddenly, he was very demanding that I spend so much time with him, questioned who I was spending time with and what I was doing in my spare time. I felt like everything I was doing was wrong because he wasn't involved somewhere. I was emotionally drained and dreading spending any second with him knowing it was just waiting for time to pass by so he could go home. One day, I finished work, went to his house and broke up with him in person. He was silent, but said he understood.

A week goes by and suddenly I'm getting texts, I've gone back up to college and its the most stressful week with hand ins round the corner. The texts go something like this

We need to talk. Now. I'm coming over to XXX. Where are you?

I'm sorry but I'm really busy right now, I have deadlines very shortly, earliest I can meet up really is in a couple of weeks.

No. I have to have my say. I'm coming over. When will you be home?

I'm not at home as I'm at college until 9pm. I'm currently there 8am-9pm every day doing my work, or out doing the practical work needed.

Fine. What day can you make spare for me.

I can make this day at the earliest.

Good to know.

When we met up, it was literally him shouting at me for a good 45 minutes about how I didn't care, what a terrible person I was and he asked me if I slept with anyone else. Stupid me, said yes, baring in mind I lost feelings for my ex a long time ago, I felt comfortable having a 1 night stand. He went absolutely apeshit crazy, asking his name and telling me I was a horrible slut for doing this to him. Before leaving, he said he was going to return all my things to my house and was going to give my parents a christmas present wether I liked it or not.

So it comes to christmas time, good couple months have gone by since we last spoke, he returns all my parents things and hands them a food tin with a card inside. I refused to greet him at the door as I wanted nothing to do with it, but my sister was there and thought it was weird there be a card inside the tin. My sister took the tin downstairs as my parents were still talking to him, and found that there was a note to my parents inside. I have no idea what the note said, my sister told me she ripped it into tiny pieces and flushed it. I asked a couple more times what was in the note but all she would say to me was it was extremely nasty and things my parents didn't need to know.

Sorry for the really long story, but it's something that's been on my mind for a long time as to what the hell happened. It was a great relationship and he was a great person but he just suddenly turned into something horrible and I just didn't get it. Hell, he even started pressurising me into moving into a house with him as soon as I finished college and start a family. It all kind of makes sense if he did get involved with TRP, he said around the month he started working out he found a few new subreddits to help him with his weight loss and motivation and stuff. It's such a shame.

TL;DR - Made me feel guilty about him working out, got offended i couldn't make time for him for surprise holidays, made me feel guilty for not wanting to have sex with him when I actually couldn't have sex, tried guilt tripping me into giving him blowjobs, said it was my fault I was in pain during my period, didn't like me having male friends, threatened to tell my parents I was raped years ago, demanded I meet up with him on the spot quite aggressively and gave me shit for having a 1 night stand a while after we broke up.