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MetaThe Rational Male – Ghosting (self.TheRedPill)

TheRationalMale.comRollo-Tomassi が 投稿

New essay: http://therationalmale.com/2016/03/07/ghosting/

Excerpt: The Price of Truth

I only rarely make an active effort to help unplug men these days. Now, I get that my books and this blog are an effort as such, but I mean in the sense of reaching out personally to a guy whom I think may be ready to consider the Red Pill truths about men and women.

I did make one recently and I was reminded again about the part in the Matrix where Morpheus explains to Neo that he’d broken protocol to unplug him. They never tried to free a mind once it reached a certain age. The mind has difficulties in letting go of “truths” it’s become dependent upon for its own survival.

That’s a pretty accurate analogy for dealing with unplugging other men as well as revealing Red Pill awareness to people too invested in a Blue Pill existence to listen to, much less acknowledge the rationality of a truth that destroys their self-sustaining ego investments.

But attempt it I did. The guy was a fairly high profile, but minor local celebrity who at 48 years old had just had a painful split with his 30 year old girlfriend. He’d been married once before, divorced for all the Blue Pill misguided pandering you might expect, and now here he was ‘blindsided’ by a girlfriend well above 2 SMV steps to his own. Even a basic understanding of the intersexual dynamics that the Red Pill illustrates would’ve spared him a repeat of his Beta behavior and her consequent dumping of him.

But there he was, again, in the same familiar depression due to the same repeated behaviors stemming from the same misinformed Blue Pill conditioned mindset. So I made the effort. I liked the guy. In most other aspects of life he’s very pragmatic, driven, focused and definitely Alpha. He’s got social proof, a low grade of celebrity, he’s affluent, and while somewhat arrogant at times very likable. However, he suffers from one fatal flaw – he is ego invested in a Blue Pill illusion of women so thoroughly that only a man who’s lived it his entire 48 years can understand it.

So I made an effort to just get him to read my book, or at least the Best of Year One posts. He’d have none of it. The reflexive response to what he’s been taught by the women in his life is misogyny short circuit for him. To be honest I was never really hopeful, but I made the effort from that base need to help another man avoid a painful fate – not unlike my reasons for writing at all.

I’ve got to ghost him now. Not because I’m an asshole or I’ve given up, but because it’s just not pragmatic to apply that effort when others would benefit more from it. He’s past that age Morpheus says the mind should never be freed and I’ve got to be OK with that.

That’s just the price of truth.

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[–]ManOfGrapes 17ポイント18ポイント  (2子コメント)

This is an aspect of the pill that is a tough one to swallow. In the three years of actively practicing RP values and reading everyday, I have slowly lost contact or no longer associate with those that might hinder my progress toward self-improvement. Even among my closest friends I quickly learned that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

The weird part is, I don't actively see this transition. I think it's a slow, natural process, because when you gravitate toward hard work and do what most people won't, it gradually scares the rest away. Thankfully, ghosting allows for an influx of new friends and peers and ultimately a better network.

[–]_the_shape_ 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes.

Commiserating takes on an increasingly acidic and vile taste the more you immerse yourself in self-improvement. Complaining and constant whining and looking for shoulders to drench in tears is for losers. How could you engage in this kind of behavior when, day in and day out, your actions steer you in the complete opposite direction? In other words, you become the sort of person who actually does something about their issues.

There is no griping in your daily routine - that doesn't get you the body you want, the girl you want, the career you want, and most certainly, the attitude you want. You begin to view it as something part comical, something part pathetic. Huddling up with others and talking about what you "hate", what gets under your skin, why life is so unfair, about forces holding you back, now all seems so backwards and perverse that it also seems impossible to partake in non-ironically. You know it rubs off on you, gradually weighs on you, "hinders" you..

You don't want to hear of people's problems anymore - at least, not if you know that they're simply vomiting out their issues with zero desire to get to the root of what's wrong and to get to work on it. Many of these by now only know how to hustle for sympathy and pity, but you don't even want to "feel bad" for these people any longer - that's their language, part of their way of perceiving the world. You wish they would reach the point where they'd say: "I've had enough. Now I'm going to do something about it", but you know better. You've developed eyes for the type by now, and a telltale characteristic is that they've learned to stop talking and to start doing, because that's how you and everyone else did it.

[–]Battle-Scars 15ポイント16ポイント  (5子コメント)

I gave your book to a guy who was a Stanford grad making good money and high SMV but the woman in his life was a Berkeley grad Feminazi to the inth degree making his life a living hell. Disgusting beta behavior and sadness on his part.

He returned your book unread.

I'll never stop trying but it gets depressing at times.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

The problem with Rollo's book is that it speaks to the sort of person who

  • has an experience that aligns with the redpill narrative
  • has a specific inquisitive mindset and is more about "understanding" than "feeling", is more intellectualizing than empathizing
  • most importantly, wants to see it.

[–]TRP_Lee_zard 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would add one bullet to your list: -Are ready to have their world crushed just to rebuild it brick by brick.

[–]systemshock869 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Man I have a friend who was always a source of "redpill" lines of thought for me. I looked up to him in a way as he's somewhat of a "women whisperer" slash self-made player (pre-marriage at least) and sort of a social alpha.

When I started reading here I was going through a divorce and needing a friend so naturally I started to bounce things off of him that I was reading, expecting full agreement.

What I got was a shocking level of backlash and ridicule. Our friendship seems to have been on a decline ever since. For one, I get the vibe now that everything I say and do is put on the misogyny litmus test and two, I've basically lost all respect for his opinion as he's seemingly taken a complete 180 stance to his behavior up till now in the 10 or so years I've known him and resorts to mockery in the absence of an intelligible argument.

It's not just been a refusal to accept certain things, it's open mockery and some very specific hamstring.

I blame it on a couple things:

For one, admittedly he does have the closest thing I've seen to a unicorn relationship since the stereotypical pre-boomer 50 year couple. So thinking about this stuff harshes his vibe and he hasn't really had a slap in the face that leads guys to this kind of thought.

Two, the post-modern "intellectual" line of thought that is so pervasive in Progressivism has a stranglehold on defining any truths outside of "there is no truth." I guess this type of reasoning is a similar luxury - in our spoiled world we like to be able to pursue whatever hedonism we desire without someone pointing out any truths, to the point where we shame people for any sort of judgement. Not to say he is hedonistic but this line of thought has completely taken over in the idealistic left. Blue pill on a huge spectrum. Mainstream Progressivism has redefined intellectual enlightenment to cater to feelings above all else - it's a sad and truly frightening shame.

While I can still reason to some end, there are still walls up that no logic can surpass and when it gets to that point he devolves to redirection, mockery, ad hominem, or complete shutdown. You can see this is consistent with any weak ideology.

I had to get this off my chest.. In summary, you really do have to have all three of the conditions you listed to begin to even acknowledge this stuff, even if you're pretty much already here in practice.

[–]sir_wankalot_here 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

No offense bro but this is BP behaviour.

I'll never stop trying but it gets depressing at times.

Human beings are wired to have a desire to share what they see as useful information. Even to the point where it endangers themselves.

TRP always talks about the benefits of being an alpha, they never talk about the benefits of being a beta. The big one being you never have to think, you just float along. So on some level most people want to be betas.

That is why I say it is BP behaviour, and ofcourse I am speaking from experience.

[–]Battle-Scars 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

None taken, the guy was part of my outer Tribe (former employee) and I know the pain he was feeling. I believe in leading my Tribe, both inner and outer, to make it a stronger unit. The depressing part is losing what is otherwise a good man down the BP path.

[–]sir_wankalot_here 36ポイント37ポイント  (0子コメント)

The TRP truth is most people need to be lied to.

Marx said "Religion is the opium of the masses", people assumed Marx was saying religion was evil or bad. Marx takes on a whole different meaning of you view him as a guy who just wrote down his observations. As in you remove the good or bad judgement.

If you are in severe pain, opium is a good thing. The reality is most people can not deal with reality. If you put Marx's saying under this light it takes on a whole new meaning.

[–]RationalistFaith1 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

Unfortunately many aren't ready. It's painful to see good guys and close friends ignoring the truth.

Hopefully time won't be too hard on them when the truth keeps coming back to shatter their propped up world.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana 8ポイント9ポイント  (1子コメント)

I like the way you describe TRP as "open source". It's definitely a meritocracy of ideas and I hope it remains that way. It's also no coincidence that feminists don't like meritocracy.

One of the most frustrating aspects of humanity to deal with is willful ignorance which is a specialty of feminists who would rather censor opposing views rather than debate.

Upton Sinclair once said, "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." Perhaps a corollary to this might be: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his worldview depends upon his not understanding it."

[–]ArkAngelEV 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

check out the big brain on rpbanana! You're a smart motherfucker, that's right. Upton Sinclair, ignorance. you got it

[–]Dustin_Bromain 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

My own father is a victim to this as well. Always pandering to my mother and getting angry/failing her shit-tests. It's pathetic. And sad.

[–]atifhere 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Luckily I got the pill at the perfect timing, right after such breakup which already made me see the RP truths. TRP just confirmed me that AWALT and I am not minsogynst to not repress my nature. My SJW self would probably never had accepted the reality, if there was no such breakup.

[–]thewrightstuff88 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Being direct about things like this reminds me of how you must be COVERT, not overt. Use his own personal experiences to incite the anger phase by having him put 2 and 2 together. Initiate a sort of "inception" and every now and then prod it. Being direct will only incite anger in a negative form because it is seen as an "attack" on him, whereas if you just put an idea in his mind, you did your job, he just has to follow the bread crumbs and jump down the rabbit hole and see how far it goes...

[–]Entropy-7 2ポイント3ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's a process. I am an old goat here; I figure that vast majority of the 150,000 members here are teenagers or 20-somethings rather than pushing 50 like me.

I started to unplug at age 18 well before we had the Matrix.

The question is, can a guy in his 30s or 40s be saved from himself?

I think that a lot of guys who have not unplugged will just live in their bubble. What it takes is something catastrophic, like a major case of divorce rape, for them to pull their head out of their ass.

[–]Benny757 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Over 50 here to my wise friend. It does taking a heavy whipping to get the red to come to the surface. And every single damn relationship is just like a vat of blue pill syrup that want to suck you under and right back to blue pill way we were. It's a daily fight. Even in my 50's.

[–]tekn0_ 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

What I have found to be more helpful is to ask questions, for which Mr. Anderson will have to answer, instead of being convinced as the correct paradigm, so as to become Neo in the end. Morpheus then becomes the Socratic method of questioning, where Socrates is simply a crazy old man, who knows nothing, but simply explores logic.

[–]PabloEscoba 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

The reality is that most men will only learn and accept red pill truths after divorce rape. In our space age, there is virtually no excuse to be ignorant about the true nature of women anymore. I never mention TRP even when the situation warrants it. I only apply red pill truths to my life.

[–]fingerthemoon 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, when you take into consideration how many people deny the irrefutable evidence of evolution then you begin to see how emotion trumps logic. Only 16% of US citizens accept the theory of evolution. And I would add that sexual beliefs are even more difficult to challenge than religious or political.

I understand the desire to help a man especially when you see the emotional pain tearing him apart and you know that you have just the medicine he needs (TRP). But unsolicited advice is just casting pearls before swine. More often than not they will resent you for it and even turn on you. It's better to just be the best you can be and if someone asked you for advice then you might be able to help them.

It sucks but empathy and compassion can get you in trouble. I fucking know this one as I always want to help people, especially guys getting played by women, but I'm getting better at biting my tongue and minding my own business.

[–]Espada18 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

What is the optimum age to be exposed to TRP?

[–]hva_vet 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The moment a man thinks putting women on a pedestal leads to a fulfilling life. Some never acquire this affliction, others contract the disease after starting a LTR, and many inherit this condition. TRP is the only cure.

[–]Luce_Bree 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The mistake here is the choice of material to start someone off on the journey.

Rather than going full-on RP, I HIGHLY suggest offering someone "Gateway" material instead, and thus far the book that I think suits this description best is Robert Glover's No More Mr. Nice Guy, which I've seen mentioned here time and time again.

I discovered the book back in 2009, on my own, and after devouring other, more well-known self-help materials, Glover's book completely blew me away. It introduced me to some very important concepts, such as taking women off the pedestal and owning and embracing my masculinity and my sexual drive. Glover understands and writes about how feminized and anti-male our culture has become, but he isn't as strident as many of the posts here.

In fact one of my closest friends is pretty Blue Pill in some ways, he knows about this sub, and we talk about it, but we can have substantive discussions about our differences in opinion because we've both read Glover's book, and can speak much of the same language.

The RP can be a shock to the system. Maybe the solution to help others is to give them a lighter dose.

I think a book like Dr. Glover's is a great place to start. No, I'm not a shill.

[–]PlanB_pedofile 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

The redpill is a wonderful gift only to those willing to receive it. Not everyone is ready nor is able to wake up to it.

But to those who do accept it, it is a godsend. My current buddy who is 42 and out of prison is very redpill, he just hasn't heard of it. We talk "women" on a very redpill level. I describe theories and truths to him and they all make sense because he's witnessing it first hand.

He's doing well for himself. Banging a 24 year old whom he is steady with but doesn't call her a girlfriend. He's seeing the truth how plating someone like that has raised his smv sky high and it scored him side pieces.

I intend to encourage this behavior. Give him all the redpill reinforcement he needs which is never marry, keep options open, she's only temporary, don't live together, ect.

Basically. Redpill advice is the best male advice you can ever give a man. But not all men are open to it. Even if you are not alpha yourself, the least you can do is help mentor someone else to maximize their potential.

Be the teacher, and watch your student succeed.