First, Christine apologizes for his insults towards aspies, males and Harry Potter, who he feels was upstaging Pokemon in the cultural zeitgeist. He emphasizes that his misandry is his own problem, and not the fault of any individual male. Then he reminds those who took exception to his public PlayStation begging and mixed up financial priorities, considering he still lives with his mother at more or less damn near forty years old. He reminds them that the smartphones in their pockets are worth hundreds and he should not be judged differently. Let he who has not splurged on tech cast the first scathing comment!

Next he guarantees he will deliver on his $500 Etsy store voucher, for his custom Amiibos or what have you, and throws in a bonus of a livestream of him playing Little Big Planet 3 on the "Autism Tutorial" commentary, which will be more authentic "than that other tranny." About five seconds later he realizes his slur, and covers his mouth "speak no evil" style in surprise at his own callousness.

He then digresses on the sad state of the PS Vita's lack of support, rambling a bit into the story everyone knows about the PSX being originally designed for the SNES, etc. Then he wanders into politics and expresses his support for Clinton. "I feel America really needs a woman's touch finally after all these years." He would have been for Palin if she was running, but Clinton will do. If she wasn't running "...I'd have to vote for the other males. I've got nothing against them personally..." There's some smooth jazz guitar music and elevator music arrangement of Unforgettable by Nat King Cole in the background which lends a deceptively calm ambience to the video.

Finally, the day after his birthday (Feb 24th) he sulks and laments his shit gifts of worthless gift cards and lottery tickets, saying he "...certainly did not receive a PlayStation 4 console, let alone the [White Destiny Bundle]) which he really, really wanted. Rather than dwell on the negative, he bravely attempts to change the subject with some impromptu voice acting with his Amiibos. He cannot escape the disappointment though, as even in character he recalls having to buy his own cupcakes. Then he gives a brief review of the South Park game, with only two gripes. No option for a girl MC, and Cartman was mean to him by calling him a "douchebag." He ends the video with a "Thanks for nothing."

It's a sad picture, sadder than usual even for Chris Chan. Why didn't r/drama pitch in to get him his PS4? If only we had a wealthy benefactor to which $500 would mean little more than topping off his Willy Wonka-esque Wall of Candy, or one quarter of the price of a donation to a r/drama subscriber.

/u/xNotch, I think you know what to do. Make it right.