Yach
The story you are about to read is true and everything in it is all true the characters names might be modified, but everything is true to the point. I honestly feel I should be writing about what I have experienced from my 3rd semester at college because my life has literally turned upside down and nobody realizes it. So what you are about to read will either blow your mind or maybe make you feel sorry for me, or maybe even think it’s bullshit. Whatever you feel it doesn’t matter because after you read this story you will feel something after reading what I am about to explain because it feels like a movie, and it is long about 8.8k Characters long so if you have time read this shit, and you may think this is a love story, but it aint. It’s fucking life at it’s finest.

August 2015, 3rd semester at college having dreams to hopefully one day make it out and actually make something out of my life. My goal at this college is to transfer to Long Beach State located in Long Beach, California and hopefully one day become an Engineer and build computers. First couple weeks into my semester was really smooth laid back and easy going just slowly going through the motions because I didn’t know anybody in my classes. First off I met this kid named Brandon in my class and that kid was a really cool dude and still is my friend to this day. Me and Brandon made a plan to try and hook up with some girls in our class. He pointed me out this girl in my class that I didn’t even realize was in my class including sociology. We called her White headband because we didn’t know her and had no idea who she was or where she was from we had no clue who that girl was. That girl is Shortleggs. For starters I told Brandon I’m going to get that girl to go out with me or have sex with me and he didn’t believe I could do it, but I told him I would. This is where my plan comes into effect with this girl. So I chilled back and waited for my opportunity to come up and it did. One day we had to get into groups of 4 and what you know shortleggs was in my group and I didn’t even know her name. So I was just being myself and making her laugh non-stop and even making fun of that girl and she still laughed. So I brought up in the group if anybody knows any movie streaming websites and luckily that girl did so I wrote it down in my notebook and didn’t check it out for about 2 weeks. I lost my notebook that week so one day I approached her after class and asked her “hey weren’t you the girl that told me about the movie streaming website?” and shortleggs answered “yeah that was me!” So the game was set and put into play now I had to strategize on how to get her number cause I was going to ask her for it but I didn’t know how to because she was honestly the most beautiful girls I’ve ever talked to. So then she told me “you can hook up your laptop to your TV and watch it on your TV instead of just watching it on your computer or laptop.” BOOM MY SHOT. So of course I lied to the girl and explained to her im not really good with electronics (even though I’m majoring in computer engineering) and asked if I could get her number incase I had any problems trying to find the website or hooking up my laptop so she agreed and I got her number. So I was IN! So I have been texting this girl for a little bit and she never once told me she had a boyfriend. A week later our sociology class got canceled and she told me it was, but little did she know I would hit her up and take her to food. So we went out for lunch and drove ourselves and I could tell this girl was nervous when she sat down because the first thing she said was “is it hot in here” and obviously it wasn’t so I knew for a fact this girl was nervous. So we chatted for about 2 hours which was really insane because I’ve never actually spoke to somebody so fluently where there’s no awkward pause and either I or shortleggs has to come up with something to say. So we headed back to class and she asked for my charger that day when we got back and of course I gave it to her had to get my points up. It worked obviously because I hit her up that weekend saying “hey can I get my charger” but she was busy all weekend so I never got it until Tuesday. The following Monday she hit me up saying “Hey sorry I didn’t hit you up all weekend my Boyfriend is literally insane and beat some kids ass and took my phone away and I blacked out on Saturday and didn’t remember I single thing, I guess I was flirting with some dude and making out with him, but I don’t remember.” I WAS SHOCKED… because it’s been 3 weeks I’ve been chatting with this girl and she never once told me about her boyfriend.

So I kicked it with her the next day at school on our break after sociology, and I was like wtf you have a boyfriend? That’s weird why didn’t you tell me? Shortleggs replied “you don’t just say that to somebody you just meet” I knew what she was doing so I just didn’t care because shortleggs was oh boy so god dam beautiful. So Eventually I took a break from this girl for about a week. The following week I kicked it with her only at school and started to talk to her again. That week I kicked it with her I think for like 4 days in a row which I’ve never done with a girl I started talking to with a boyfriend. It was flowing and it was good I impressed that girl a lot, I know I was. Eventually we came back to my house after school because English got canceled and we stopped by her friends house before we came back to the crib and she told me in the future that her friend knew I liked her and of course I did, but shortleggs was so blind that she didn’t know because I pulled the Cool Card. So we went back to my house watched a full movie and I tried to make a move near the end of the movie and she completely denied me which was strange… and then it just was awkward because she was still letting me touch her body and still flirting with me after I tried to make a move, but shortleggs wasnted me to make a move when I walked her out so I pulled the awkward card, and she texted me that night saying hey I really enjoy our friendship and sorry about being awkward and that hug was awkward and she felt bad. Boom so I was back in, and I gamed it pretty good and made her come over the next night to “study” and we made out. So She cheated, and I really didn’t care at the time. Eventually she came over to my house again and I picked her up from some random house in Antelope and Antelope is sketchy and I know her Boyfriend is black so I was like “wtf” no way, and if you don’t know Yach is Paranoid the most paranoid kid out there, and insane. So I manned up and picked her up and it was fine just a bunch of white dudes and she told her parents that I was her ex and we went to the movies, but we went to my house started drinking and getting it on, but we didn’t have sex. The reason why I enjoyed this girl though so much is cause she walked around my house with her shirt off all night. WHO DOES THAT!!? And she sucked my dick, but she wouldn’t finish me and I taught shortleggs how to deep throat that night! More points… Shortleggs texted me the next morning with a really long message and I knew then that she wanted to date me after that text and what happened the night before because the night before she told me she didn’t know how to break up with Matt. So Shortleggs got sick from me because I was sick, but I thought I was cured. So she didn’t go to school or work that week. I came over on a Tuesday before school to kick it with her because I felt bad cause I got her sick. So we we’re chilling and Matt was blowing her up badly, and she wasn’t responding to him. So the kid shows up to her front door while im sitting on the couch, and he asked to come inside and honestly Matt is the dumbest person I have ever heard of because Shortleggs told Matt that her dad was home even though his work truck was gone. So she played him pretty good. I was freaking out texting my boy Beandip and he was laughing his ass off. I am honestly kind of mad that the kid didn’t come in because this girl changed my life and honestly ruined it a little bit. So that night she wanted me to come over again before work and I agreed. I worked at 12:45 and her parents left around 8am so I set my alarm for 8am, but she never texted me so I went back to sleep, and she literally texted me as soon as I fell asleep and I woke up at around 10am to texts saying “I wish you came over im walking around my house naked waiting for you” but the girl is sick… so I was like im not gonna make out with her or kiss shortleggs, but when a girl texts you that you better drive your ass over there ASAP, and that’s what I did. So honestly I couldn’t fuck that girl because there was no foreplay my dick kept getting limp and I felt so god dam embaressed, but she wasn’t really tripping. The next day she came to school and her boyfriend was blowing her up and wanted to talk to her in person. So she broke up with him after I fucked her. The next week we started dating because she was going to break up with him after halloween because matt was taking her to Chicoween. All my boys knew about this girl and they were hella proud of me because the girl was hot, but they told me “why would you date that Yach? She’s a god dam cheater your gonna get hurt my dude” I just blew it off, and didn’t really care cause I was fucking a girl. Yacob said the same shit, but I blew him off as well.

    So instead of going to Chico we went to Reno for Halloween to her brothers house. The day started fine, but the night turned into a shit show. She ditched me that night after she started puking her guts out after I took care of her in the bathroom I was their for her and not her brother, her brother seemed like he liked me as a kid, but supposively he didn’t. So I lost her for about 2-3 hours and idk what happened, but I went downstairs and her brothers roomates arm was wraped around her and I was dating Shortleggs. LIKE WTF? So I was pissed off and starting talking to other girls that night, and it was a coincidence because some dude told me that “Nick was trying to work on a Sierra girl that night” and what do you know? Nick and her were taking shots together that night. Her brother saw me talking to girls and exploded which was uncalled for because he didn’t like me for some reason and instead of telling me he didn’t he just watched me. So I guess Shortleggs was crying to Her brothers Roomates all night because her brother didn’t like me and she wanted him to so bad. That’s why his arm was wrapped around her all night. I didn’t believe it because the kid didn’t talk to me. Shortleggs told me this and I didn’t believe her at all. Eventually the kid explained to me what happened and I explained to him why I did what I did, but the kid fucking hated me I could just tell by the way he looked at me. Even though he shook my hand it was a bullshit handshake and I knew it. So I went home and drove us back to my place and just thought about what happened. I forgave this girl of course because I just wanted to keep her around because she was the only girl I was fooling around with. So 2 weeks later I found out that Matt texted her saying “I cant wait to see you this weekend” and she thought I didn’t see it, but I did and she lied and said it was Whitney her best friend that lives in San Fransisco, but It was bullshit because that weekend she shaved, and she randomly stopped texting me and “Accidently FaceTimed me” Which was a lie because it rang like 3 times and then she hung up so it was a sham. I blew it off because I didn’t want to believe it. Next week Shortleggs was texting some dude in class and I didn’t know who it was, but she said “I was texting jon on snapchat” which was bullshit. Took her back to the crib fucked her and asked who it was, and she said “she wasn’t on snapchat sorry it was Jon I just feel like you would freak out because that’s how my ex was” and I was like wtf no idc you can have friends just fuck me and be committed to me so I kicked her ass out. She apologized and we got back. The next weekend she stayed the night and we took Ecstacy, well she took it, and then she really started to love me after that night, but that night I fucked up because I let her smoke a cigarette and then she got addicted and I told her if she ever bought a pack I would break up with her, and said only smoke these with me. She agreed. Next week she stayed the night again and we got fucked up and I knew she loved me so I told her “Shortleggs I have a feeling you starting to fall in love with me” and Shortleggs looked down at the ground and smiled and stated “Your not supposed to know that.” The following Tuesday she told me she loved me because that day was swag points. I picked her up from her house had to go to work and I would’ve been late if I dropped her off at school then drove back to work so I dropped myself off and let her drive my car. Then we went back to my house watched a movie, fucked, and I made her food and everything. She told me that night. Shortleggs told me she loved me, no girl has ever said that to me in my life or bought me clothes and food.
Next week was my Birthday and our relationship is going really good, but this is where my life goes downhill from here because of this girl. Went to a rave with my boy Duckwatcher from highschool, and my boy beandip went with him 2 nights before and said Duckwatcher was down. So me and Duckwatcher went and we got some Press pills he told me only take half don’t do anymore, but I didn’t listen to him and eventually caused permenint brain damage. I took an overall 1000MG of Ecstacy and couldn’t even say sentences correctly. Next morning I woke up around 2pm went to bed around 6am so I woke up and called up my boy Brown, and I didn’t eat or drink anything that day and we smoked a blunt at his buddy’s house, and I felt like shit because I didn’t eat or drink anything and smoke 2 blunts, felt like shit thought I was going to puke and then walked to the bathroom and blacked out and didn’t even know my name or where I was for a good I don’t know minute. So I thought I almost died to be honest. This is where this situation comes into play so bad. Eventually I healed and Shortleggs was tripping and was so god dam scared for me and shortleggs wasn’t home so she didn’t see me until school, and all my boys called me up the next day too making sure I was okay because I legit almost died. Brown was telling me that when he drove me back to my house Brown stated “dude what the fuck man I care about you dude like im scared man you sure your okay” some real friend shit. Brown has a big mouth so he told Duckwatcher, and Beandip. Beandip was tripping, but Duckwatcher wasn’t because he didn’t know me that well cause we went to highschool together. Eventaully Duckwatcher invited me to an event in San Berdedino and I was down. I convinced Shortleggs to go with me and buy our tickets and I would pay her back after New years Eve. A week later I started to love Shortleggs and I was scared cause I never loved a girl before, and I explained that to her and pretty much told her what has happened to me in my life and what I have been through, and I have been through some fucked up shit in my life, and I legit told her no more lies if you have any lies own up right now so we can start a relationship with no lies, and of course she lied and said no I have not lied to you since the Jon thing. I didn’t believe her so I told her I going to break up with her because I love you and I am scared. We would still go to countdown, but I don’t know I feel like theres another lie your hiding from me. I just have a gut feeling, and she said no I am not. So I went back out with her and told her it’ll be good, and then she started crying and said im still lying to you Yach, and I told that girl if she ever bought a pack of stoges that I would break up with her, and she did, but I forgave her of course that’s dumb if you break up and cut somebody out like that over a pack of cigarettes, so we were fine and good and not tripping, but my mind isn’t open this girl has lied a lot to me and cheated on her ex with me and I love her, so I was stupid because I kept forgiving her so soon that she thought she could get away with anything with me, and she kind of did.  2 weeks later I thought I found a plug on drugs and it wasn’t I bought 7 pills of pure meth and flushed $105 down the drain. Shortleggs was in Reno with her family so she just Facetimed me all night and honestly what was dope she never told me once how fucked up I looked. Beandip and DaSuan came over and they straight up told me “you are fucked up bro” and then tripped me out. So I facetimed Shortleggs for about 15 minute after they left, and I knew I was fucked up so I didn’t want her to see me like that. She was freaking out that night and kept trying to Facetime me over and over again. I don’t know what she eventually did that night because she told me she would set her alarm for 8am and wake up and call me incase I don’t wake up because I did 5 pills of meth. She didn’t call me, which was fine, but I was tripping because that night Beandip had his phone out and had an Ashley with a heart in his phone and wouldn’t show me the texts, and I just did Meth so I was not in the right state of mind, and I honestly wanted more and more, but I got over it after a week. It was the worst expierence I’ve had in my life. Worse than me passing out after my birthday. So school is out and now what’s on my mind is Countdown on NYE we were going to take Shortleggs car, but we ended up going with Duckwatcher which sucked because I planned out hella spots to hit on the way down to LB. I brought my prescription to Countdown because I wanted to take it for the drive there and back so I could stay up with Duckwatcher. So many times he asked me for it and I never once gave it to him I have no idea why. I left it in my right pocket in my Santa Cruz jacket. Me and Shortleggs stayed at my Long Beach house, and that house is so god dam special to me and my family Shortleggs didn’t realize how much it was. My Father that killed himself on August 16th 2008 ashes were spread in the basement and the other half in the ocean right by the beach. So we had no car and we waited for Duckwatcher to pick us up so we cruised around LB for a while. Duckwatcher picked us up we had all the durgs and were ready to roll, and we brought acid incase I was feeling to do it because Shortleggs wanted to, but I owned up and said I didn’t want to expierence Acid for the first time at Countdown. We were driving to Countdown and Duckwatcher asked for my prescription again which was Vyvance, and I convinced him not to take it because I said it sometimes makes me shit, and I wasn’t going to take it that night anyways. So we got to countdown and me and shortleggs were ready this was our first festival and her first rave ever, and only the second time shes rolled, and shortleggs has only rolled with me which was dope. So we get through gotta do security check, and I had to empty my pockets and im wearing my Santa Cruz jacket, and I forgot to take the Vyvance out…. The security didn’t find it thank god, and I was so god dam happy that I was in because I was praying that he didn’t find it and he didn’t and I was so god dam exstatict and happy I walked up to my friend Duckwatcher and stated “ Duckwatcher it was ALMOST BAD” hella loud. Got pulled away and got searched and went to jail. Left Shortleggs alone, and keep this is mind shortleggs is sheltered… and Duckwatcher don’t give a fuck about anything. So I wasn’t scared that I went to jail I was scared about shortleggs. So jail was horrible because I went to jail for my perescription which is a legit joke. I was so god dam mad, and then I got around 4am and nobody picked me up which was fine because I didn’t expect Duckwatcher to pick me dumbass up, but everybody in my group thought it was the Acid, and I brought it to surprise Shortleggs so they didn’t know when I would get out, but they looked for the Acid and found it when they got home. So the first thing I did was Call Shortleggs cause that’s the only person I was thinking about in jail, and she went to sleep on my ass and put her phone in silent! WTF? That’s the bitch who loves me. THAT’S FUCKED UP. So I called Duckwatchers girlfriend and blew her up and they sent me the address and then Shortleggs never called me after I hung up I called her which again was fucked up… Got home I was mad so mad that she didn’t stay up for me, and I found out Yacob and Tatoe contacted her on Instagram and she read the messages and never called them. That’s FUCKED UP. So I was obviously going to break up with her, but I didn’t.. This is where the story gets crazy.
So while we were arguing at like 5am her mom texted her saying to call her Asap which was weird cause it was 5am, we just blew it off because maybe she knew shortleggs went to countdown. So the next morning Shortleggs mom texts me to have shortleggs call her and I told her to call her mom. While she calls her mom her mom doenst speak with her first, she speaks to me first which made me just know something isn’t right. Her mom told me that her brother has half a brain and is in the ICU and got hit by a car…. Jesus Christ. Like wtf I knew that kid was going to die, but I kept telling shortleggs that he wouldn’t to make her believe. So it was honestly hard for me and that drive home sucked because I rolled and just stared out the window because my father killed himself and I just kept thinking about what this little girl is going to go through after he dies, and I was hella scared because I knew I loved this girl and that when I see her that my fathers death and the pain I went through is just going to run through me because I love this girl. So what shortleggs doesn’t know is that I pretty much cried almost every other night over her brother who hated my guts… and felt so bad for her just true empathy for this girl, and she didn’t realize it at all. So her brother died 2 weeks later.. and then I started really opening my hear to this girl. Like I started meeting her family members and families friends I went to her grandmothers house in Woodland which was a 30 minute drive and have breakfast with that old lady. My heart really opened for this girl and I thought that It would make us closer as a couple because we were kicking a lot at her house. It’s honestly really hard to be there at her house to because I just see her parents and see how much pain she is in and it just hurts I was so god dam scared, and honestly cried not a lot, but here and there for her and what she lost because I loved that girl. Yacob was home so you know he told my dumbass that its going to be a train wreck and I blew it off… and it sucks cause I didn’t believe him because Yacob turned into a drunk and started to day drink and night drink which was bad because I didn’t want shortleggs to meet that kid, that’s not who my brother is I honestly didn’t even know who he was when he visited for 2 weeks. It was horrible, but he told me straight up its going to be a train wreck, and I didn’t believe him one bit that’s the last thing he said to my face when he left for the airport. I had work so I couldn’t take him and shortleggs and me have been kicking it almost every single day she’s been home now for I think a week or 2, and she hit me up that day because I wanted to give that girl as much space as she needed, so we talked while I was at work and I offered to come over or her to come over when I get off and eat some pizza and watch a movie and chill, but I had pot so I was going to surprise her. She said she would ask her mom, shortleggs told me that her mom wanted home and they were going to have a family night, and for some reason my gut thought about the night she saw Matt when she said she went to Stockton, and I don’t know why, but I had to talk to that girl. I told her around 4:30 that I was gonna call her after I got off and she seemed excited for my phone call, but she never answered. So I texted her and honestly blew her up, and Tatoe just had to call me that night so I explained to her how I felt and she said to keep calling her shortleggs is home she aint doing shit, but I asked Tatoe maybe shes asleep? Tatoe told me that “Doubt it go over there and talk to her” So I drove over there and she hasn’t talked to me or contacted me since 4:30 and its now I think 8pm when I was driving over there and I told my Mom I was going and she told me I was tripping, and honestly I told my mom before I left, I told my Mom I have a feeling Shortleggs isn’t home, but my Mom said I was tripping she’s chilling with family don’t bother her, and I disagreed and went with my gut and drove over there. It was honestly stupid for me to drive over there I honestly wish I stayed home and didn’t answer my sisters phone call because I was literally almost about to pass out. So I drive over there and she’s not home… My gut was right. She contacted me a 10:30pm I dropped all her shit off at her house. And she wanted to talk it out so I drove back over there because I thought she was suicidal or something because when my father died I was a little bit, and I was worried why she didn’t hit me up, and I knocked on her door when I went over there and her Dad told me “She’s out with friends Shortleggs isn’t texting you?” and I stated “no just tell her I said hi.” So I went back over there and told her to talk and tell me what happened. I could tell she was lying the whole time. She told me it was her friend Tobi that she hasn’t seen in 2+ years and they were catching up and ate food and were smoking at his house. I saw the texts they were sending each other and they were clearly flirting. So I thought she cheated and the first thing she told me when I said you cheated shortleggs legit stated this “Even if I did cheat I wouldn’t tell you that’s fucked up.” So what the fuck am I supposed to believe now. I said I forgave her, but I really didn’t we kicked it the next day at my house and I told her to open up and tell me everything or I’m done. Shortleggs didn’t open up at all and admit everything she implied shit, but didn’t own up to everything. She pretty much said she didn’t have her phone on her since 5pm and that the kid was her ex in 8th grade. I believed her for the ex in 8th grade, but not the phone thing that’s bullshit, and I know she didn’t open up because the story was different from the night before. Shortleggs is bad a lying to me cause I know that girl, and I know when she’s lying. I can read it. So I was just going to mean fuck her for the last time and lie to her and tell her I cheated on her when I went to San Jose with Duckwatcher. So I fucked her and it sucked worst sex I have ever had with Shortleggs, and I told her to admit to everything right now last shot and she said she admitted everything, but it was bullshit and I knew it. So I grabbed her phone and she was texting you mom all night. So I was fucked up and called her a snake and told her that I cheated on her to admit she cheated on me, but she never once said she did she started crying and tried to run out my door I grabbed her and realized that she didn’t, but in the back of my mind it still lingered. So she admitted to everything. She told me she just didn’t want to talk to me that night and she didn’t want to be fucked up and say that and she saw all my texts and phone calls and Tobi was her first boyfriend that dated her for 3 years, and keep in mind she told me that kid Tobi was the best sex she has ever had, and I was mad. I fucked up and forgave her and kicked it with her the next day, and we had sex and she started crying after and told me “I’m not crying right now don’t look at me” and I asked what was wrong? Shortleggs said “ I am just so happy you took me back I thought we were done that was so god dam passionate and it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.” BOOM nobody has ever said that to me, but in the back of my mind I still feel like shes lying because I didn’t seprate myself from that enough and really thing about what she has done to me, and how many things and lies shes said to me. Bad move.

Next night she promised she would call me around 10:30-11pm and we agreed on it because of what happened, and I told her on Thursday that Jauz was in town and he is favorite DJ ever and I really want to see him and he is down the street. She said she was going to her friends house that night and she didn’t want to ditch her. My feelings were hurt and I was mad. So I told her to ask her friends brother if he could take me and ill come over and ask him. She said okay ill call you when I get back to Marissas, and she snapchats me when shes there twice instead of calling me. So I call her and ask her why she didn’t call me. She said she was busy, and I said okay well lets go to jauz ask her brother ill come over right now and introduce myself to the kid, and she said okay let me ask marissa and marrisa said no don’t come over, and I was like WTF are you serious? So I was mad and plotted and told her I wanted to smoke my pot, and marrisa said she had to ask her brothers friend if I could come over and smoke… which was a little weird cause it’s Megan’s house.. So I convinced her to let me come over and she said when they leave you have to leave, and I was going to make it my mission to convince shortleggs to go to Jauz that night. So I got over there and I was not welcome at all there was tension in that house I could tell. Shortleggs didn’t show me any affection while I was over there and was talking more to Marrisa’s brothers friend more than me. I could tell. So this is where my mind starts racing because a bunch of coincidences appeared that night at the house. For starters Shortleggs wanted to wait for Megan’s bro and smoke with him, but he was taking dumbass long. Then when Shortleggs went upstairs to talk to Marrisa I was talking to the dude and he had 30 points on him, and he told me that he was meeting some girl at Jauz that went to Countdown, and Shortleggs and I went to countdown, and Marrisa was all dressed up, and didn’t want to leave her house that night which was odd cause I offered to take them somewhere, but they declined. Then Shortleggs favorite bottle is in the garage, and Shortleggs said she didn’t tell the dude she went to countdown. Then the kid said he was going to do Acid that night and Shortleggs looked at him and said “Acid will be fun.” Weird? Indeed it was. Then I talked to Marrisa’s brother and he said his car was full I didn’t expect to go with him because they had Acid and 30 points and they don’t know me. So I wasn’t tripping and thought his car was full. Then I smoke a bowl and dip and as soon as I say I want to dip Marissa gets up instantly and lets me out the side door, and doesn’t let me go through the front. Shortleggs kept saying “really is that it?” and I said yeah. Then she asked me if I was going and I didn’t answer, and she didn’t tell me she loved me or gave me a hug or a kiss goodbye. Then she texts me saying are you driving home, and honestly I legit had a feeling she went to Jauz, idk if she did or not. So I didn’t text her back, and then I called her at like 10pm and told her I cant trust you Shortleggs seriously I am sorry I cant do it anymore, hit me up weekly goodbye. Then she texts me instead of calling me and saving our relationship and says im at Marissa’s freaking playing video games. Didn’t believe her and then it got bad, and I started drinking and taking pills. Then I got mad left her another voicemail told her to call my ass up and she kept texting me and said I don’t want to be rude and call you I am at Megan’s its kind of weird because she did the same thing at Countdown she put her phone on silent cause she didn’t want to be rude… So then I honestly didn’t remember what happened, but I went on a god dam rampage and left her a 5 minute long message just talking shit to her, and then said “I hope by you lying it helps you get over your brother dying and he’s not proud of you.” After that idk what happened I woke up and her phone number was gone, and she texted me at 7am saying she’s mad what I did, but I mean honestly all she had to do was pick up the phone and call me up to try and save me and tell me to chill. So I didn’t go to work cause I felt like I said something bad and then that night I blew her up asking her to call me ASAP that I don’t believe she was at megan’s, and I don’t believe a single word you say anymore etc.. talking shit.

        So my buddy hits me up I go to his house and then turns out he has a bunch of coke and Jack Daniel’s so I start partying then Shortleggs calls me and told me what I said and that she will send me the voicemails and I told her I remembered it even though I didn’t I barely do. Idk why I said that, but she sent me the voicemails and I listened to them all and I was so depressed at myself that night because for one I was doing coke and drinking, bad idea don’t do that because you think suicidal and it fucks with your mind. Didn’t go to work the next day even though I said I would, and I was honestly just suicidal for what I said to that girl and so god dam depressed because nobody has ever seen me like that other than my family, but couple days later she said will eventually forgive me and she still loves me. So I’m still in. I didn’t provide the space that we needed because that girl honestly just hurt my feelings for what she did and she realized that, but I sent her a letter and everything and explained to her how sorry I was and all that. Next week we kick it at school on Tuesday and I try and kiss her and she denies me, then Thursday she kisses me and then fucks me and then sends me like 11 snapchats like were dating again. So I thought I was in, but she didn’t hit me up all Friday or Saturday. So I just had this feeling we were done so my stupidity and emotions came in and I said “I think we are best off as friends Shortleggs what happened Thursday really opened my eyes I am really sorry for what I said, but I just don’t care anymore.” Then she replied with the answer “Yeah I feel the same way we should just be friends I mean the sex yeah it felt good, but it just didn’t feel the same.” Which was bullshit cause she Came Twice and smooched me really solid after we had sex and like grabbed my face and everything. So I got mad and said like you know you cheated that’s bullshit and argued with her, and deleted her number. Then I missed her on Monday and told her if I could come over and explain why I was being a dick and she agreed, but I didn’t have her number so I hit her up on snap and told her to text me. So I went over Monday and she said she forgives me and loves me and doesn’t want to lose me cause I am really cool, but honestly I told her I was like I cant be your friend I am sorry you brought my fathers pain back in my life and it fucking sucks, but she didn’t take me back. So then I was gonna block her completely out of my life and not talk to her. So then the next day I saw her at school everywhere I went and it fucked me up and I texted her obviously… I love that girl. Then she bought me food and I didn’t kiss her or anything, but I walked her to her class and she held my arm like before. Then she didn’t hit me up at all again on W and I was just mad cause I thought she was playing with me, and cried to her on the phone on Tuesday Night. So then she hits me up on W and my mom had my phone cause I told her to hold it for me, and she texted me like 3 times that night. Then she hit me up on Thursday and I got my phone back and went back to school cause I had to do my drawings and my dumbass calls her up, and starts making out with her again, and she honestly looked at me like we were dating and texted me all night. Then we made plans for the next night after she got off work, but he mom wanted her home because she hasn’t been home in 2 weekends. Its understandable because her parents are strict. So I get emotional again and text her call her and tell her that I feel like shes playing me for the money from countdown cause I was going to pay her back, and then she says on Sunday. “Zach I think we are best off on working on friends right now I don’t want to get back together with you what you said is to hurtful I want you in my life, but if you don’t want to talk to me ever again then that’s the way it has to be and ill respect that.” So I thought It was the money thing and I told her ill give it to her on Tuesday, but Monday night I blocked her on everything even her number, and then I saw her at school and thought she was crying. So I unblocked her on Thursday and asked if she was crying on Tuesday and if she was tripping? She said no I wasn’t I was high. So I tried the friends thing again, but this time it feels different.. I mean she was flirting with me on Thursday and everything, but I felt different. So I added her back on everything and then snapchat and IG, but I blew her ass up on Friday like 30 messages cause I was bored. I honestly did it to everyone in my phone. Then she added me back on snaps. My boy Beandip just told me to play it smooth, but I didn’t tell him I wanted to date her and I loved her, and she told me she still loves me, but not as much as she did. So then Saturday she hits me up, but she doenst hit me up to see how im doing. She wasn’t my prescription, and I was like WTF no. To bad your not my woman. Then she hits me up on Sunday and asks again.. and I said sure why not lets kick it Monday, but once again her mom fucks it up and went shopping with her. Then I got sick didn’t go to school on Tuesday and I told her I would give it to her at school, and then she stopped texting me, but she was snapping me like time to time everyday for the past 5 days, to make me think it was working. So then on W she been snapping me all day and then she hits me up, and says “What are you doing” and I thought she wanted to kick it, but she just wanted my drugs. So she came over and said she couldn’t kick it because her parents were going to be home in 30min so of course I said okay have fun doing homework cause that’s why she wanted it. Then she didn’t text me she snapped me saying “I’m ready for tonight” and she had a pack of smokes, pot, and my pills, and that was all my shit. Then I called her at like 9:40 and asked her something, and asked if her parents were not home and she said no they are not. So I was like WTF BITCH you lied to me. So I was dumbass mad and I knew she was fooling around, and I asked her that the next day I was like wtf you was fucking around last night, and shortleggs said “Yeah I was idk why or how you knew like wtf.” Like honestly what a bitch. So I got dumbass mad again, and then told her a bunch of dumbass shit like it was all fake you’re a fake friend its all bullshit your hella mean for doing this hit me up when its real. Then I got dumbass Lit on Sunday and just said some really dumb shit. I lied and told her that I tried to fuck a girl on Saturday and I couldn’t do it and I love you and all this bullshit, im sorry im not over you, but I need to know if its real and If you love me and I want you to love me or hate me, and the night before was her brothers funeral. So that’s fucked up. She replied with “Why would you tell me that I don’t want to hear that shit, I don’t love you anymore and you don’t think before you speak and I think we should just go back to not knowing eachother anymore and seprate ourselves completely, and I don’t hate you, but I still do have feelings for you and always will.” Didn’t expect that one so I lied and told her that I was crying when I fucked that girl and left her a bunch of voicemails going on a rampage again. Then the next morning I sent her a mean as text saying how she is a player all this bullshit etc… but she still has me on Snapchat so I aint really tripping yet, but then she removes me and then I sent her a snap saying nudes IG: @  and she was like wtf are you serious? So then I didn’t hit her back, but some dude called me and threatened me if I ever talk to her again that he will come and see me. So I called her and I was like wtf are you serious? And she told me to listen to the kid, but then I texted her back saying I hope you enjoy your miserable life and I told you that you either love me or hate me and I hope you never lie cheat and play with somebody again to pretty much let her think that I posted the nudes. Then the next morning 3 heads show up to my apartment and threaten me and tell me to stay away from her.  That is honestly so fucked up, but honestly she feels some type of way for me or she wouldn’t of sent somebody to my apartment and try and threaten my ass. Like wtf is this. So then that day I locked my keys in my car and then my dog ate my pot brownies and then she almost died and I have been sad all day.

          Honestly though I hope one day that girl can forgive herself for all that she has done to me because she is so emotional volnuarable right now that theres just going to be a bunch of dudes making her laugh and just treat her with the worst respect which honestly fucking sucks cause I loved that girl, but she blocked my number so I mean she wants me gone completely, but honestly if she unblocks me one day I know that girl actually loved me ass only time will tell honestly. I did so many things for that girl and honestly my life has just hit rock bottom over some girl, got my parents threating to kick me out cause she brought over people, and my dog ate my edibles, my mom thinks I am a meth head because I accidently did it once and told her cause I was sad cause Ashleigh Eldredge legit Ruined me, but honestly right now I hope one day that girl becomes something of herself and hopefully forgets about me and what happened, and that girl did blame me for her brothers death which is really fucked up, but it’s fine. I know she feels for me in some type because if she didn’t she wouldn’t of sent somebody to my crib, but I am avoiding that girl and I am keeping her number unblocked incase one day she does unblock me and can apologize to me for everything she did to me. Cause I forgave that girl for everything… fucking everything, and honestly I will never go up to that girl an apologize to her ass at school if she approaches me the only thing I would say is “You sent people to my house and tried to threaten me that is not what civilized people do in the world, that is so fucked up.” And leave it at that one. Honestly this has been a learning experience though because now I know when to forgive and when not to forgive and know when I just gotta be a man of my word and just own up to it, but its honestly all this girls fault she has taught me so much shit, but nobody realizes she has, but I am thankful I met this girl at the point in my life rather that in a couple years because honestly I am only 20 years old and I have a long life ahead of me, And i do not love this girl so don’t think i do, but she obviously feels for me in some type of way, and honestly slitting my wrists never sounded better.