Here's one of my favorites:
So, a mussle, a frite and a JebusGobson walk into LopLop. The bartender begins to shake his head in disbelief. Before he can utter a word, the mussle says "We are not here to cause any trouble. We are just looking to wet our whistles."
The barkeep begrudgingly obliged. "What shall it be then, gentlemen?", he asked.
The mussle said "Well, since I am from the sea, I shall take a glass of white wine."
"Very good, sir!", said the barkeep.
The frite didn't hesitate for long before stating "I am a proud Belgian frite! I will settle for no less than Leffe!"
The bartender was visibly annoyed, but wasted no time, "No problem. Calm down. You'll have your delicious beer."
Finally it came to the turn of JebusGobson. He looked pensive, as he gazed into the distance, but in his mind he knew already. "A Bellevue."
Suddenly the whole bar went silent. JebusGobson was gobsmacked. But as suddenly as the silence had settled, the whole bar erupted in laughter.
Bewildered JebusGobson turned to the barkeep who gleefully explained: "But JG! You drank all the Bellevues yesterday. Don't you remember?"
It was all coming together now for JebusGobson. He knew what he had to do.
It was the mussle all along. Could he be in on it with the frite? The smart man as Gobson was he ordered two shot glasses of mayonnaise. He raised a toast to his "mates" the mussle and the frite. Little did they know it was merely a ruse. JebusGobson ripped his shirt off and put the mayonnaise shots right on his nipples.
Another wave of applause erupted and as he was carried out of the bar while people shoved tenners into his pockets. While mussle and frite thought this was just his normal shenanigans, JebusGobson made his escape.
He went on to play pool and eat more durums. XD
ここには何もないようです