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unitedkingdom

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all 69 comments
[–]ichliebekuchenYorkshireman in exile 88 points89 points90 points  (15 children)
Darwin sends his regards.
[–]brycey06 107 points108 points109 points  (4 children)
headline says Brisbane
[–]J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A comment score below threshold-33 points-32 points-31 points  (3 children)
[–]tepkel 9 points10 points11 points  (0 children)
I think it was a joke about how there is also a city in Australia named Darwin.
Now that I've explained the joke in deadpan monotone it is even funnier.
[–]JowhoofGloucestershire comment score below threshold-6 points-5 points-4 points  (0 children)
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
6789
[–]ThomsonAhh comment score below threshold-10 points-9 points-8 points  (8 children)
Yeah, that's not how evolution works.
[–]ichliebekuchenYorkshireman in exile 0 points1 point2 points  (7 children)
Never heard of the darwin awards m80?
[–]ThomsonAhh comment score below threshold-8 points-7 points-6 points  (6 children)
Sure but as with most of their examples, this person's mishap is irrelevant to the natural selection & evolution. Jumping off bridges is not a common problem for humans so an individual's propensity to avoid it is not a realistic fitness function.
[–]ichliebekuchenYorkshireman in exile 4 points5 points6 points  (5 children)
I'm pretty sure you've either not heard of the darwin awards or have them confused with something else.
[–]ThomsonAhh comment score below threshold-8 points-7 points-6 points  (4 children)
I know what the Darwin awards are, in most cases they assume that dumb people dying is humans getting smarter and thereby "evolution in action", but this is a fundamental misunderstanding of evolution, more like some sort of "natural eugenics". Evolution is a retrospective explanation of whatever a species ends up doing over time, being smarter is not implicit to evolution, it just happens to have been beneficial up to now.
[–]ichliebekuchenYorkshireman in exile 13 points14 points15 points  (3 children)
Oh you're just a killjoy, gotcha.
[–]ThomsonAhh comment score below threshold-10 points-9 points-8 points  (2 children)
Perhaps, but criticising people over technical inaccuracy is probably one of my main joys in life.
[–]ichliebekuchenYorkshireman in exile 8 points9 points10 points  (1 child)
"You are a sad, strangle little man."
[–]Free_runnerThe Wall (Cumbria) 17 points18 points19 points  (1 child)
It happens a lot. When I was backpacking in Australia and passing through Brisbane I met 3 guys in the hostel who had jumped off the Victoria Bridge further along the river (all separately). 1 of them had been caught by the police, was arrested and had to go to court.
The thing is, nobody who lives in Brisbane swims in the Brisbane River because Bull Sharks live there.
[–]Jamie54Scotland [score hidden]  (0 children)
I don't think that's why no one swims there. You'll only get the little ones that far up stream so you're not going to e threatened by a bull shark under that bridge
[–]Terra-Infirma 42 points43 points44 points  (2 children)
Lad
[–]FuckCazadors 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
Absolute madman.
[–]KeepCalmMakeCoffeeWest Midlands 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
"Lads watch this!"
[–]ferretocracyHampshire 41 points42 points43 points  (0 children)

YOLO

[–]likes_rusty_spoons 14 points15 points16 points  (3 children)
There's a lot of bull sharks in that river...
[–]ichliebekuchenYorkshireman in exile 11 points12 points13 points  (0 children)
There's some well fed bullsharks in that river now.
[–]Lord-Fumblebuck 11 points12 points13 points  (1 child)
It's Australia. There's probably bullsharks in the hostels toilet.
[–]Grayson81London 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
You're safe from the bullsharks there.
[–]apple_kicks 26 points27 points28 points  (15 children)
“The other three fellows said he took a running jump from three or four metres away, jumped over the rail, went under the water ... he came back up again for a few seconds, rolled on his side and went back under the water and he hasn’t been seen since.”
I over think these events but fuck you're going to think how you cheered your friend on and how easily any of you could have jumped first and now having to face his family when going home
[–]j_icicle 13 points14 points15 points  (13 children)
My rule is to never do two magnitudes of stupid or dangerous in one stride. Jumping over a railing that's obviously there to stop you. Sure. Jumping into a body of water. Fine. Do both and you're asking for it.
[–]jmkniAntrim 21 points22 points23 points  (9 children)
Doing either of those drunk adds another magnitude
[–]Heknarf comment score below threshold-12 points-11 points-10 points  (8 children)
I dunno, being drunk tends to allow me to come out unharmed from dangerous stunts.
[–]KikariskaSheffield 12 points13 points14 points  (6 children)
No you just dont realise how hurt you are until you get home
[–]1-9 7 points8 points9 points  (5 children)
Actually I think I read a report once saying that drunk people do have a better survival rate from high drops - something to do with the fact that their posture and muscles are relaxed.
[–]DogBotherer 10 points11 points12 points  (4 children)
Sadly probably not when you have to swim at the end of it, assuming you're still conscious.
[–]DAsSNipez 0 points1 point2 points  (2 children)
Yeah, it's supposed to be due to the way your body relax's I think, it softens fall damage but that's about it.
[–]DogBotherer -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Sure. It makes sense, just as people sleeping tend to do better in car crashes because they don't tense. Drivers sleeping being another matter, obviously!
[–]dlbob3Down -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
I can vouch for that, I fell off a balcony when drunk and only broke a foot. Easily could have been much worse.
[–]ZOIDO 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Again, could be made up, but back in ye olden shipwreck days... Drunk sailors would sometimes have a better chance - due to being relaxed and not using up their energies they'd end up swimming long enough to get caught in currents to take them ashore. Where as Soba sailors would panic, possibly swimming against currents and make rash decisions using up valuable energy...
[–]DogBotherer -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Drunk autopilot is great and never fails, until the day it does - sometimes catastrophically.
[–]humansdotget_i 13 points14 points15 points  (2 children)
My rule is never jump off a fucking bridge for fun.
[–]Mred12Dorset 2 points3 points4 points  (1 child)
My rule is never jump off a fucking bridge for fun.
[–]humansdotget_i 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
I had that originally then decided I might need to do it to save a child or something, so couldn't rule it out entirely, but certainly never for fun.
[–]jimofwalesCardiff 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
They were backpacking so there's a good chance they all met each other that day.
[–]JoeyJo-JoJnrShabadoo 19 points20 points21 points  (12 children)
How on earth can you have 4 presumably functional adults and not one of them has the brain power to work out that jumping into a big river off a bridge, in the night no less, is a very bad idea. I know it says they've been drinking, but I dunno, drinking has never made me commit any suicidal acts before.
Reminds me of that neknominate craze a couple of years back when someone decided to down a bottle of vodka and jump into a river. You just have to wonder how some people even survive as long as they do.
[–]Grayson81London 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
How on earth can you have 4 presumably functional adults and not one of them has the brain power to work out that jumping into a big river off a bridge, in the night no less, is a very bad idea.
Three of them did work it out. Eventually.
[–]DakowtaWarwickshire comment score below threshold-7 points-6 points-5 points  (10 children)
Haven't been out drinking with the lad's for a long time have you?
Jumping off a bridge sounds like fun if you knew what to do and knew the depth was fine where you were going to land.
Drinking just means you get to ignore the safety part of your brain.
[–]Mred12Dorset 13 points14 points15 points  (0 children)
#justLADthings
[–]JoeyJo-JoJnrShabadoo 11 points12 points13 points  (8 children)
Or maybe I'm just not a Darwin Award contender. If drinking makes you completely disregard your safety, maybe you shouldn't drink, clearly not suited to it. Jumping into a river certainly doesn't sound like fun if you have half a braincell and know that big rivers tend to have strong undercurrents.
[–]DakowtaWarwickshire comment score below threshold-6 points-5 points-4 points  (1 child)
Drinking in excess makes you like that as its cutting oxygen to your brain causing decisions making to be more difficult. Doesn't matter how smart you are its going to do that.
Fairly sure with a few friends and a lot of alcohol they could make you do some stupid shit.
[–]JoeyJo-JoJnrShabadoo 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
Drinking does make you more impulsive but I think most people have a ceiling where somewhere below "this has a good chance of killing me" they have some level of self-control. More impulsive doesn't mean you have no control. You should know regardless of how much you drink for example, that you shouldn't drink drive even if people are pressuring you too, even if its a real chore to get home. But some people have a mentality where they presume having a lot to drink means they have absolutely no control, which I would guess strongly correlates with the kind of person who always finds themselves getting into scraps and such on a night out, and these are absolutely the kind of people who shouldn't be drinking.
Drinking isn't for everyone. I'm not saying that you shouldn't ever do anything embarrassing or something when you drink, but absolutely if peer-pressure and drinking can make you do something severely dangerous to yourselves I would say those are the exact people who shouldn't be drinking a lot.
[–]shakaman_ comment score below threshold-8 points-7 points-6 points  (5 children)
Its only 10 meters mate.
[–]JoeyJo-JoJnrShabadoo 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
It's the big watery part that causes you to drown that would be my concern.
[–]BoraxOn the run 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
Not sure if trolling...
[–]Kobrag90 2 points3 points4 points  (2 children)
Enough to break bone and lacerate skin...not to mention the bull sharks.
[–]shakaman_ -1 points0 points1 point  (1 child)
Its the same as diving boards I (and lots of others) used to jump off as a child. Maybe minus the bullsharks
[–]Lord-Fumblebuck 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
Well look at you with your la-di-da childhood swimming pools.
No bullsharks indeed...
[–]nahnahman 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
"If all your friends were jumping off a bridge..."
[–]Mista_WongStaffordshire 6 points7 points8 points  (2 children)
More like British idiot missing.
[–]Kobrag90 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
And found in a constipated shark.
[–]Mred12Dorset -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
...presumed dead"
[–]mrleebob 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
Have they looked under the bridge?
[–]frankster 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Oh crap the bit about coming back up and rolling onto his side and sinking again sounds really bad, like he hit something under the water.
[–]smbkrEdinburgh 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Some guy dropped a can of beer in the Brisbane river while fishing a year or two ago, decided like an idiot to keep drinking it, and ended up with his stomach swelling up like a hot air balloon from all the horrible stuff that's in the water. I lived in Brisbane for 16 odd years and no one who lives there would dare go in the water.
[–]UnionJames 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
He ded.
[–]angryratman 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Nice city. Enjoyed my time there.
[–]Ohfudgewhatismypw -3 points-2 points-1 points  (0 children)
Ha what a lad! Love it, that's how I'd wanna go.
[–]miraoister -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
A life well lived.
[–]ImperitoNorfolk -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Natural selection at its finest.
[–]real-G -2 points-1 points0 points  (0 children)
R.I.P. LOL.
[–][deleted]  (2 children)
[deleted]
    [–]Kobrag90 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
    He jumped of a bridge, drunk, into a high volume shark infested river. Not pretentious, just out-right disrespect for the idiot. I just hope he snapped his neck in the fall and felt nothing.
    [–]retiredliontamer 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
    And yet yours is by some margin the most pretentious. Way to be meta.
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