全 139 件のコメント

[–]tandembicyclegang 660ポイント661ポイント  (32子コメント)

This is straight up just a Steven Wright joke.

When I was little my grandfather asked me how old I was. I said, "Five." He said, "When I was your age, I was six."

[–]peanutbuttahcups 97ポイント98ポイント  (11子コメント)

Steven Wright is the bomb. I looked him up after seeing Fallon's impersonation of him on America's Got Talent, and his stuff cracks me up ever since.

[–]JavelinTF2 12ポイント13ポイント  (7子コメント)

Reminds me a lot of Mitch Hedburg

[–]peanutbuttahcups 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yup, I love this kind of humor.

[–]sleepy55 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

And Rodney Dangerfield.

[–]Ballersock 1ポイント2ポイント  (2子コメント)

I think he is too animated for that style of humor. I realize he paved the way for a lot of comedy, but I just can't enjoy his stuff.

[–]ozzyzak 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

Speaking personally, I always liked his animated delivery because it allowed him to just bury you with line after line of comedy.

I think if his personality was different it might have turned me off but with Rodney it just worked for some reason.

[–]bbbukowski 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

A lot of his stuff is a little dated. Even though it's a joke...you can't talk about women like that and get quite as many laughs as you used to. His work in Natural Born Killers was good.

[–]kenba2099 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

But what is Jimmy Fallon doing on a show called "America's Got Talent"?

[–]Mike-Oxenfire 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Isn't Nick Cannon the host of that show? I mean sure, he's probably more talented than Mozart but not as talented as Martha Stewart.

[–]B1GsHoTbg 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yea but did he make it with the "???Face"? Nah didn't think so

[–]interwebbed 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

No it's not!
In the meme, the ages are 18-19
Definitely not the same thing.

[–]canipaybycheck -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

You suck the fun out of things.

[–]4breakf4st 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Didnt Shel Silverstein make this into a poem too?

[–]Alex_Rose 3ポイント4ポイント  (4子コメント)

It's actually technically true though. In Singapore your age is the current year minus your birth year. If you're born on December 31st, the next day you are 1.

So technically if a Singaporean told their 18 year old child "when I was your age, I was 19" and they hadn't yet had their birthday that year, it'd be a true statement.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Asian_age_reckoning

[–]haamm 1ポイント2ポイント  (3子コメント)

Wow I didn't know that, do you have any idea why they doing that way? It just seems to not make sense to me but that could be because I am just not used to it and calculated age based on accrued time instead of the year only

[–]NEET9 0ポイント1ポイント  (1子コメント)

I was told it's to account for gestation.

[–]haamm 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

That makes sense I guess it all depends on when you believe that life really begins, it's cool to see how other cultures do things

[–]Alex_Rose 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I guess it's just easier to work out age when it's based on year alone?

Like, it could only ever be an issue really early in life, the difference between a 42 year old and a 43 year old is basically nothing.

But even at young ages we still do things based on the year. In the UK school starts at age 3 with nursery. Because term starts in September, you'll have some kids who are 3 and 11 months old as soon as term starts and some that are 3. So that large difference already exists in our education system, and that can actually really hold kids back and knock their confidence (or give confidence to the older kids born in September).

I don't really see the issue with extending that to birthdays.

[–]ThorOfKenya2 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

"Then he cackled madly and threw a spoon against the window"

[–]droplob 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I think it was also a shel Silverstein poem. Never thought he'd be featured on bp twitter

[–]Sorgutentarer 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Check Stewart Francis. Found him after I ran out of Wright's material.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because it's not possible for 2 people to both think of the same joke.

[–]Mike-Oxenfire 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

When I was little my grandfather one Christmas gave me a box of broken glass. He gave my brother a box of Band-Aids, and said: "You two share."

[–]Rotagilirtni 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Um Shel Silverstein dude.

[–]Vestlerz -4ポイント-3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Can confirm. Gf's mother is Haitian, she is never satisfied

[–]bk20111 192ポイント193ポイント  (30子コメント)

Me: Hey dad, can i get some money for jordans? Dad:When I was your age [insert 3rd world poverty story here].

[–]ArtisticAquaMan 28ポイント29ポイント  (25子コメント)

Well to be fair asking your dad for money to buy shoes is silly.

[–]Cettechemise 122ポイント123ポイント  (19子コメント)

You bought your own shoes during childhood? I know if I wanted/needed shoes I had to ask my parents as in my country it's illegal for children to be employed.

[–]I_ate_a_milkshake 62ポイント63ポイント  (12子コメント)

I didn't buy my own shoes but my parents certainly didn't buy me jordans...

[–]ConorPMc 20ポイント21ポイント  (5子コメント)

and lots of parents do buy their children jordans.

[–]Mitz510 1ポイント2ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yep, grew up wearing Sketchers.

[–]SovietRus 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

thrift store had those struggle boost 10s cheap

[–]miniflip -4ポイント-3ポイント  (3子コメント)

My mum bought me Yeezys this afternoon.

[–]DiveOnIn 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

You wore shoes during childhood? How was it being in the 1%?

[–]Hahahahahahai 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

You ask mom for shoes; Dad doesn't give a fuck when he has old Bostonians to pass you down

[–]folderol -2ポイント-1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Mine bought mine but they weren't air jordans or any other top of the line or fashionable brand. To think your parents owe you that is stupid.

[–]folderol 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes and your dad probably didn't have anything as fancy as Air Jordans ever. Each generation seems to feel entitled to more and more. I didn't have shit myself but I had more than my dad did. I'd get the cheapest pair of shoes my dad could find and I've even used tape to fix holes in shit like coats and shoes. Anybody who feels like being given a couple $100 that they didn't earn to buy fucking shoes and having to listen to an "in my day" story for it is a hassle can go fuck themselves. Buy your own fucking shoes then. Mow some god damned lawns, deliver some newspapers, get that fucked up job at Burgerking just like your dad did.

[–]Andefir -3ポイント-2ポイント  (3子コメント)

buying jordans is silly.

[–]Mitz510 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

You're right. I should just use that money for a new gaming PC because that's whats cool on Reddit right?

[–]MGLLNMod 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Jesus, that man had a family

[–]ArtisticAquaMan 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Eh each to their own. I'm not into sneakers but I have spent a hefty amount on freshwater and saltwater tanks we all have our interests to throw money at you know.

[–]NigerianTechno 23ポイント24ポイント  (3子コメント)

More like

Me: Dad can I get some Jordans?

Dad: Jordan? Who is Jordan? Jordan did not save your life, Jesus did.

[–]folderol 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

Sandals were good enough for the Lord; put some fucking sandals on.

[–]immortalone23 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lol i read that in my dad's nigerian accent

[–]JonasBrosSuck 173ポイント174ポイント  (6子コメント)

uphill both ways too

[–]The_Smartass 101ポイント102ポイント  (1子コメント)

"I had to walk 20 miles to school and 30 back because that's the way our sidewalks worked back in the day. We didn't have WiFi back in our day to power our hoverwheels or whatever yall kids are callin em"

[–]TheBaronOfTheNorth 46ポイント47ポイント  (0子コメント)

And did we complain? Not once.

[–]TheRealBarrelRider 41ポイント42ポイント  (0子コメント)

And grateful for the opportunity

[–]Alpacaz 11ポイント12ポイント  (2子コメント)

Uphill in snow, with no snow shoes.

[–]_themuna_ 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

My family lived in Jamaica and still act like I shouldn't complain about the snow because apparently a 5 min rainfall in Jamaica is way worse than a blizzard.

[–]spearchuckin 107ポイント108ポイント  (15子コメント)

Black parents be like that too. My mother and father can't shut the fuck up about how they were my age and had a house. Over twenty years ago when you could fuck up and have a kid with no college degree and get a good job with benefits and buy some house that's fucking way over priced now.

[–]StrangeDwarf 47ポイント48ポイント  (12子コメント)

My parents r white and the bitch about the same things. Except they built a house instead of saying it

[–]iPlowedYourMom 19ポイント20ポイント  (5子コメント)

Are they Amish?

[–]StrangeDwarf 89ポイント90ポイント  (4子コメント)

No, and stay the fuck away from my mom.

[–]TXhype 55ポイント56ポイント  (3子コメント)

Don't nobody want your ugly ass mom. This ain't a slim Jim commercial lil nigga

[–]Cat-Bear 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Same here. My grandparents didn't go to college, grandpa was a postman and grandma was a house cleaner. They owned two houses. Mom grows up, goes to college, pays off her debt in 6 years, she is a teacher and raises 2 kids alone, buys a house at 35. Here I am at 27, no kids, school debt, and the family looming over me wanting kids and a house instead of renting. Well damn I'm sorry y'all

[–]folderol 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

To be fair my dad was from a generation like that too but he worked hard and was frugal as hell. The thing is a lot of people 20+ years ago had one car, one black and white TV, one couch that had to last 20+ years, no expensive shoes they were going to outgrow in a year. These days people seem to have a lot of what they want but complain that they don't have enough of what they need.

[–]DanaKaZ 106ポイント107ポイント  (5子コメント)

Literally true with Korean parents.

[–]questir 45ポイント46ポイント  (4子コメント)

Fking true and they always tell me that if I was living in Korea I would be an year older

[–]_p_daddy 20ポイント21ポイント  (3子コメント)

Isn't it custom that when you're born you're considered "1" already. I think that's what they mean.

[–]HaHaBear 10ポイント11ポイント  (0子コメント)

And everyone age together as the new year starts.

We just gained 1 year ever since the new years day.

[–]20thcenturyboy_ 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah that whole concept of there being a "Korean age" and a "regular age" is hard for me to wrap my head around.

[–]woofspider 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Then you get another birthday on New Years. My mom was two years old at 2 weeks.

[–]ItsOuttaHere13 80ポイント81ポイント  (8子コメント)

This reminds me of the parents episode of Master of None.

Worth a watch if this is your life.

[–]Gomestradamus 27ポイント28ポイント  (2子コメント)

Absolutely. That episode hit me so hard to home, man.

[–]I_ate_a_milkshake 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey i bought you a guitar, man!

[–]MGLLNMod 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

That part where he didn't wanna help his dad set up the tablet

[–]KelGrimm 12ポイント13ポイント  (4子コメント)

Shit man, even if it's not. Those dad feels are dangerous and unexpected. Episode had me calling up my old man and shit.

[–]takeme2infinity -1ポイント0ポイント  (3子コメント)

That was the last episode I watched from that show. Story is good but fucking Asiz Ansari's acting is reminds me of "Holds up spork"

[–]terafunker 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're entitled to an opinion, but you're wrong.

[–]NorwegianWood28 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Like the penguin of doom copypasta?

Can you elaborate?

[–]FaythDarkHeart 45ポイント46ポイント  (0子コメント)

When I was your age I was already on my own supporting myself.

....

Cuz you dropped out of school dad LOL

[–]FreshNigerianPrince 25ポイント26ポイント  (6子コメント)

Bruh Nigerians parents are like this 24/7 365

[–]roastplantain 22ポイント23ポイント  (1子コメント)

West Indian parents too.

Me: can you drive me to school? My father: when i was your age i used to walk 10 miles to school, holding my shoes so they wouldn't mash up.

Or if l ever forgot to do chores or whatever

"I used to wake up at 4 am to fetch water for the whole family to bath, and you can't even sweep the floor."

[–]ridesano 9ポイント10ポイント  (0子コメント)

that is a classic one nigerian parents like to use. its just an excuse because they dont wanna do it. its story to be passed down to your children even if you never had to do that

[–]ridesano 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

you must accept that with nigerian parents you were prolly made just to serve them

[–]AtomsAblaze 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

My parents literally ask what my name is on some days. As if they weren't the ones that named me.

[–]samebrian 25ポイント26ポイント  (0子コメント)

My foreign parents are awesome. They always give me presents and invite me over.

It's my domestic parents that can't get enough of my failure.

[–]theasianguyz33 23ポイント24ポイント  (3子コメント)

I tell my son this every year. It funny to see his reaction.

[–]T_Peg 53ポイント54ポイント  (2子コメント)

I strongly advise you not not be that dad

Source: Am son

[–]doughdad 23ポイント24ポイント  (1子コメント)

That dad is the one whose humor you'll remember fondly and with bittersweet notes when you realize you considered the gentle, funny, personable man who raised you, to be the greatest embarrassment in your life for years.

I was so horribly self-conscious about my parents--anything and everything they did--and now years later at age 28 I would give anything to be hangin' out next to my dad while he doodles me a dadly joke on a napkin or makes a very dadly pun.

[–]T_Peg 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

The puns and jokes are great I love them but the walking 30mi uphill both ways in the snow is just obnoxious

[–]vaevictis037 17ポイント18ポイント  (1子コメント)

Or if you did something well and literally anyone they know did it better you aren't allowed to be proud

[–]Benlarge1 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dad! I got a 90 on this math test!

Oh yea? Little Mary fucking Sue made a 100! What is she doing that you aren't hunh? Probably not playing on the Nintendo all the time that's for sure.

[–]Yomo710 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

All Arab dads tell stories about their childhood literally all day.

[–]-kogi 3ポイント4ポイント  (2子コメント)

The dude's like "Dad???".

[–]Dad_Jokes_Incoming 12ポイント13ポイント  (1子コメント)

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent.

[–]thisMonkisOnFire 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

I know this is a joke but, Back where my dad grew up, they begin counting your age when you are conceived. So technically...

[–]Olympiq 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

Kid: Dad can I have money to buy a football?

Dad: You kids are spoiiled. When I was your age we killed the family pet Pig "Senor Oink" to wrap his skin around a coconut for a soccer ball.

[–]CashWho 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is true for black parents too. Probably all parents, really.

[–]kekehippo 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is very true, for some reason my parents count the moment you are born as being 1 and your first birthday as 2. ..

[–]TheShittyBeatles 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

How old are you? You're eighteen years old?
At your age, boy, I was the captain of a ship!
I was the captain of a ship, boy!
I owned and operated my own sea vessel.

[–]Lord_Wrath 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Reminds me of iamdulo

[–]Gurjasg 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

can someone plaz explain tuh funniez to meh? i don get it.

[–]airoderinde 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

And don't tell them the price of stuff. No concept of inflation at all.

[–]zakir2 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

Afghan parents.

[–]crestind 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's funny because this can be true. In some cultures age is counted from conception.

[–]whitehat511 -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why would your dad be asking how old you are??

[–]urallfags90 -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

So black people are considered foreign or what?

What do you call not white parents?

This post is all kinds of racist joke stealing posted by a white guy for the karma. Except everyone gonna upvote and not read any comments, god people are stupid, except anyone who actually thinka this post is stupid as fuck.

[–]cuye -1ポイント0ポイント  (0子コメント)

arent Chinese folk born as 1 year olds accounting for time in womb? that would actually make sense