HomeHuman InterestPatton Oswalt Slays Adam Baldwin on Twitter: ‘Take Ayn Rand’s D*ck Out of Your Mouth’

Patton Oswalt Slays Adam Baldwin on Twitter: ‘Take Ayn Rand’s D*ck Out of Your Mouth’

Believe it or not, it really isn’t that hard to get famous as a hard-right conservative. The Fox reality bubble is pretty small. If you want to appeal to that roughly one-fifth of the population, it doesn’t require much in the way of talent; just coming out and bashing famous liberals on Twitter will do it. But that can, however, a dangerous gambit, and the last laugh isn’t guaranteed if you pick the wrong target. Patton Oswalt is one such.

The D-List troll in question is one Adam Baldwin (no relation), one of a great many once-famous-now-D-list celebrities who has taken up neo-conservative trolling to get back on the map. You might not remember him from such films as Full Metal Jacket, and bit parts in several sci-fi ventures including Independence Day, Predator 2, the X-Files and Stargate SG-1. In fact, Baldwin does have something of a cult following; especially since he landed the lead role on that ultimate cult-following TV series, Firefly.

But things have been a little slow, a little D-List behind-the-scenes for Baldwin since Firefly was (unjustly) cancelled ten years ago. But like a disgraced Hollywood boxer looking to climb back up in the ranks, he’s recently taken up trolling heavyweight liberals on Twitter. Presumably, Baldwin plans to eat them to absorb their power. But he bit off more than he could chew when he decided to troll Patton Oswalt.

And no, none of those were fat jokes.

Speaking as many out-of-date D-Listers do of something that happened five years ago, Baldwin jabbed Oswalt over a bit he did in 2009. You’ve probably seen it — the one where he talks about going ten years into the past, and telling himself about iPods and a black president named Barack Hussein Obama. To be fair, Oswalt was a fairly hardcore Obama fanboy; more than half of Americans were at the time. And even in his last term, about 43 percent still are. Now 68 percent among Latinos.

However, in that sketch Oswalt was more highlighting how much the world had changed in the previous decade than stumping for Obama. Still, Baldwin must have struck a nerve after his years of trolling when he posted a “reminder” of Oswalt’s earlier enthusiasm. And Oswalt, probably having read Baldwin’s Twitter feed for the first time, lashed back.

Isn’t it fun when our guys stop being nice?

Of course, either side of this particular Twitter fight could call a win, and they are. But, let’s do a quick tally, and see who got the last laugh from this particular exchange. The Tweet above was Oswalt’s last mention of Baldwin. Since then:

Oswalt: Approximately 15 Tweets about his hit network TV show, a picture of his latest voice character on Disney, notice that there are only about a dozen tickets left for his stand-up show, and a picture of him consuming what appears to be filet mignon, caviar and Chardonnay.

Baldwin: Approximately 50 Tweets about Obama, communists and Patton Oswalt.

And the last laugh goes to…

About Richard Rowe

Richard Rowe
Richard Rowe is a full-time freelance writer who has written over 3 million words in the last four years alone -- mostly on automotive and technical subjects. He's also a seventh-generation native Floridian, and was born and raised in the Ocala National Forest. A conservative soul turned Bull-Moose Progressive, he believes that "When change becomes necessary, the once impractical ideology of progress becomes practical, and maintenance of the status quo becomes the impractical ideology." And also, that "Rustoleum Black Enamel is a primary color."
  • Nathanael Rose

    Did you proof-read this before you posted it?

    ” But that can, however, a dangerous gambit, and the last laugh isn’t
    guaranteed if you pick the wrong target. Patton Oswalt is one such.”

    What?

  • Brigadier

    So, Ayn Rand had a dick? So, she was a tranny like Michelle Obama? If not, then an epic fail for Oswalt ….again.

  • Paul Revered

    Hey Fatton Oswalt, at least Ayn has a dick! When you get obamas dick out
    of your mouth you can maybe get back to your flagging “career”.

  • deegeejay

    Actually, Oswalt lost that one. lol

  • Darren Cohen

    “I thought progressive hate rich people?”

    That’s because you live in the right wing echo chamber.

  • DGoffNspector

    No, Progressives only hate rich people who use their wealth to try and destroy the lives of non-rich people. The Kochs fit in that category. Gates, Soros, et al., do not.
    Try to keep up, Scooter.

  • DT

    “ayn rand’s dick” why is this kind of discourse glamorized, for any cause?

    • Rob

      Because its funny. He’s a comedian, not a political science professor. Lighten up.

  • conor1051

    Ummm, Richard you forgot about Chuck, 5 years on NBC, so while I disagree with him about politics, the ad hominem attack is really rather baseless and I am with Samwolf, he is good to his fans and likes to interact with them, plus half the time the show Chuck would playfully rip on how much of a conservative he is, so he can have a sense of humor about him.

  • DsMTwoShoes

    Oswalt character of Constable Bob in season 4 of Justified puts him in the A Class.

  • Clive Johnson

    The thing is, we don’t need to stoop to the right’s level. I believe we have the better arguments. In a debate requiring rigorous use of reason and reference to evidence, we can disarm a lot of right-wing rhetoric.

    The right has its share of serious thinkers, but they’re a very thin layer on top of a pancake of relative lightweights, sitting atop a mountain of abominable ignorance. Unlike non-conservatives, liberals, and lefties, conservatives have very little intellectual infrastructure outside of their “think tanks,” academics at religious universities, and a smallish minority of professors in the rest of the university system.

    There are reasons for this. Perhaps the largest is that the liberal project’s use of reason brings much skepticism on traditional impulses, practices, values and pseudo-knowledge. Religions, hierarchical power arrangements, authorities of caste, race, gender and wealth–the strongholds of the right–are severely challenged by reason and science.

    Recall how decisively Christian mythology has fallen to geology, physics, astronomy and cosmology. Note how quickly in the past couple of years old religion-based prejudices against same sex marriage has been demolished by rational argument. Hearts are surely being changed with regard to this issue, but it has been rational argument that has won in the courts. Traditionalist and rightist prejudices fall before reason.

    With regard to libertarianism, check out Critiques of Libertarianism online, the best resource for arguments against the libertarian cult.

  • forpeace

    Some people use social media to share the good information and accurate news with others, spread the important information, and etc.

    Some use social media to display their ignorance.

    I really feel sad for our society.

  • DarkerMarker

    Nathan Fillion had the Lead Role on Firefly.I stopped reading your article once you made that fatal error.

    • Larry McD

      Thanks. Can’t believe there was no Google before that sentence was written.

  • samwolf78

    This is sad I really like Adam Baldwin. I even got a picture with him. I hope he pulls his head out of his @ss soon.

    • mynameisjohn

      Maybe after he gets done eating the peanuts out of Matthew Modine’s sh*t?

      • samwolf78

        Did I mention I like the guy? He’s very cool to his fans.

        • mynameisjohn

          I was just making a flippant reference to Full Metal Jacket, wasn’t really trying to put the guy down.

          • samwolf78

            Oh now I get it. Mathew Modine aka Joker. LOL.

    • Robert Kennedy

      It’s been up there so long it will never come back out, sorry.

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