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submitted by krbin
...she's four and a half months pregnant.
Yep.
First woman who seems really into me since my return to OKC after a year long relationship is already knocked up. Already agreed to meet for lunch at Panera tomorrow and see what the hell happens.
Doubt this will turn into anything but a good test for my first "first date" in a year+. Her profile said "The baby's father is out of the picture forever and there won't be any drama there." If she hadn't included that I probably wouldn't even have considered it. I don't need some crazy fucking pickup truck driving ex trying to kill me.
Will report back if it is weird or whatever.
all 121 comments
[–]sunshineweave19/F/loveable 29 points30 points31 points  (10 children)
You don't have to worry about getting her pregnant. Giggidity!
[–]thebrennagadesweet mountain lamb chop 15 points16 points17 points  (9 children)
My friend got pregnant while pregnant. Twins had different dates of conception. Though to be fair, she was a lot earlier than 4.5 months.
It's called superfetation.
[–]Cruel_Melodyold/male/surly 11 points12 points13 points  (2 children)
That can happen if a woman drops two eggs and has unprotected sex several times with in a span of a few days.
If she had sex with two different men during that time, she could have twins with two different fathers. Awkward.
[–]thebrennagadesweet mountain lamb chop 6 points7 points8 points  (1 child)
That's one way, sure. A woman can also ovulate twice, and the babies can be conceived ~3 weeks apart.
[–]Cruel_Melodyold/male/surly 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
There are so many ways to ovulate. It's quite fun to read about.
[–]murrrrrgleowls is owls 5 points6 points7 points  (3 children)
oh god that is terrifying
[–]leesha198431/F/Largo,FL 9 points10 points11 points  (0 children)
Seriously. I think my vagina just sealed itself off.
[–]thebrennagadesweet mountain lamb chop 2 points3 points4 points  (1 child)
Kids turned out real cute, though.
[–]murrrrrgleowls is owls 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
I would feel sort of dirty if I were the older kid though
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
what the hell!
[–]LoveVigilanteeу тебя есть мое сердце 50 points51 points52 points  (9 children)
Woman who was single while pregnant here. She's probably a huge mix of ridiculously lonely and horny (damn those prego hormones), and is searching for any kind of intimacy and human connection.
Please tread carefully. I'm 99.99% sure she shouldn't be dating, but it's not your job to play her counselor, so ultimately try not to get too invested unless you're really, really interested in the long haul. Unless she plans on putting the baby up for adoption, it's a world changer.
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 17 points18 points19 points  (8 children)
Yeah, I have a habit of trying to fix/save chicks who are a hot mess so I gotta be careful with this one.
[–]polyfionicspree38/M/polyville 21 points22 points23 points  (0 children)
Yeah, I have a habit of trying to fix/save chicks who are a hot mess so I gotta be careful with this one.
Run. You're trapping yourself.
[–]fretit 2 points3 points4 points  (4 children)
Just make sure you don't turn into this guy.
[–]chillwavesbetatester 3 points4 points5 points  (1 child)
I kind of hate you for making me watch that..
[–]fretit 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
You hate me now, but you'll thank me later.
[–]Ralmaelvonkzar21/M/Ohio 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
God damnit that made me sad. Basically the 80's movie version of all of those "chad" stories
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
lol, not like that man but I usually venture too high on the crazy/hot matrix.
[–]LoveVigilanteeу тебя есть мое сердце 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Oh, I was that person for the longest. Protip: don't treat them like projects, and really try to determine what they need. I.e. most people just really, really need an honest friend more than a relationship. The lines get blurred, but so many people have hangups with relationships that we're not able to help them as much as we could as friends.
[–]Bhiim 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Has that ever panned out for you? I know you shouldn't help people while expecting something in return but if they treat you like nothing afterwards, you just got walked all over.
[–]Maladjust--くコ:彡 80 points81 points82 points  (24 children)
Spoiler: it's going to be weird.
When she's back at your place try not to imagine that you're repeatedly denting the baby.
[–]metallicshrouds 28 points29 points30 points  (14 children)
Some dudes are hot for pregnant women... don't ruin this for him.
[–]Maladjust--くコ:彡 22 points23 points24 points  (8 children)
Or do imagine you're denting the baby. I don't know how this fetish works.
It'll be fine little kids are indestructible so fetuses must be made of like adamantium.
[–]Joseph_KP(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ 8 points9 points10 points  (7 children)
It's okay. The soft spot is squishy and doesn't solidify til age 8 months or something.
[–]Maladjust--くコ:彡 15 points16 points17 points  (6 children)
I choose to believe your flair is you throwing your semen everywhere.
"Partake of my seed!"
[–]Joseph_KP(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ 4 points5 points6 points  (5 children)
Is yours a Monopoly house being blown away by a cartoon hurricane?
Edit: And yes, that is my O Face. Ladies. And gentlemen.
[–]Maladjust--くコ:彡 7 points8 points9 points  (4 children)
It's a squid! :,)
[–]Joseph_KP(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ 2 points3 points4 points  (1 child)
That's kind of dark considering you ride a motorcycle, unless that was the point.
[–]Maladjust--くコ:彡 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
[–]BadAtMakingIDs 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
I see that now... and want to play oldschool Mario. Do I still have a NES/SNES somewhere? Might need to download an emulator.
[–]anotherclumsyjawnthat bird only sings when she's unhappy 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
thanks for indulging my cephalopod fetish
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
I used to think pregnant chicks were kinda sexy but yeah some of the appeal was it being my kid (I want a family and kids one day so I don't think this like a totally a weird thing). If it's somebody else's kid , I dunno.
[–]HanSh0tF1rstWindy City Suburb Guy, 40's 3 points4 points5 points  (1 child)
When I was married pregnant sex was very different and awesome on its own level.
[–]SFthrownare u my shins? cuz im gonna bang u on my coffee table tonight 5 points6 points7 points  (0 children)
ITS LIKE ONE GIANT TITTY!
[–]betamaleorderbride 2 points3 points4 points  (1 child)
Free drinks!
[–]metallicshrouds 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
Why do I feel like I SHOULDN'T look at your post history?
[–]limeybastard36/M/Brit in AZ 5 points6 points7 points  (1 child)
Anybody ever tell you that joke where the punchline involves them poking you in the forehead repeatedly?
People who like telling that joke are the worst.
[–]LifefueledbyfireBachelor Mom 6 points7 points8 points  (3 children)
When she's back at your place try not to imagine that you're repeatedly denting the baby.
Thats how people end up with dimples
[–]hiddenmuenstersecretly an amazon 3 points4 points5 points  (2 children)
I am so going to imagine that next time I see dimples!
[–]SethQ24/M/CA/diredork 8 points9 points10 points  (0 children)
My ex only had one dimple. Clearly one of her parents was all "come on, the doctor says it's fine" and the other said "fine, but we're stopping the instant anything weird happens"...
[–]RanTheRedCedarthe East Coast asshole in your dreams 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
You bet!
[–]riggorousgasp, I'm the sexy single! 1 point2 points3 points  (2 children)
I suspect that he'd have to have a pretty baller dick to even be able to reach her cervix.
[–]Maladjust--くコ:彡 4 points5 points6 points  (1 child)
There's some pretty shallow hoohas in the wild.
[–]LoveVigilanteeу тебя есть мое сердце 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
Fun fact: they also move depending on the time of the month, arousal, etc.
[–]LiftCodeSleep31/M/Chicago - more more than most users 38 points39 points40 points  (6 children)
What if she's 4.5 months pregnant with puppies? Then you get a girlfriend AND PUPPIES.
[–]limeybastard36/M/Brit in AZ 51 points52 points53 points  (1 child)
That's not how doggy-style works
[–]GirlFromYourTownDream Killer 6 points7 points8 points  (0 children)
How many puppies do you think a human could carry to term? I bet a litter of 12 would be no problem!
Oh man, so many puppies!
[–]kintaeb24/M/Virginia 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
I'M PUPPIES?!
[–]Lonelan28/m/San Diego 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Donut you are the worst
[–]ellen_pao -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
that would make her a bitch
[–]2bABeeloves green butts 14 points15 points16 points  (2 children)
She's just a horny mommy.
[–]sunshineweave19/F/loveable 9 points10 points11 points  (1 child)
And he is a desperate guy. A match made in the bowels of delirium?
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Not really desperate yet. A long relationship ended and returned to OKC three days ago.
Willing to let this one go if needed.
[–]monster_snowgoon33/M/S Dakota 56 points57 points58 points  (11 children)
"The baby's father is out of the picture forever and there won't be any drama there."
BUUULLLLLSHIITTT!!!
[–]smokeycoughlin 12 points13 points14 points  (10 children)
He might be dead, we don't know
[–]fahma 12 points13 points14 points  (5 children)
Or he might have been a one night stand/short term boyfriend who refused any attempt by her to get him involved.
I think something like that is more likely considering the timeline.
[–]smokeycoughlin 11 points12 points13 points  (3 children)
That's not a "no chance." He could change his mind any time.
[–]fahma 2 points3 points4 points  (2 children)
I mean, she could make that statement ("The baby's father is out of the picture forever and there won't be any drama there") if, say, she's given up on him and/or decided in her mind that he will have nothing to do with the kid for a variety of reasons.
We're just speculating. You could be right, smokeshow, he could be dead.
[–]smokeycoughlin 2 points3 points4 points  (1 child)
And the point is that's likely bullshit. Plenty of drama opportunity.
[–]fahma 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Yup, the drama could easily be worse than the raising someone else's kid part.
[–]fretit 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Maybe she doesn't even know who the father is.
[–]monster_snowgoon33/M/S Dakota 5 points6 points7 points  (3 children)
Just 'cuz he's dead doesn't mean there won't be any drama. When my aunt's POS husband killed himself she had to get in a bullshit custody battle with his POS family.
[–]smokeycoughlin 8 points9 points10 points  (2 children)
Mmmaybe his whole family and everyone he ever knew died
[–]monster_snowgoon33/M/S Dakota 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
We can only hope.
[–]Cruel_Melodyold/male/surly 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Or maybe he doesn't know he's a father.
[–]noobercakes28m - Your Personal Therapist at $0/hr 9 points10 points11 points  (1 child)
Super cute girl messaged me
Nice.
she's four and a half months pregnant.
lol.
Best of luck I suppose.
[–]ellen_pao 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
lol... my take on this too
[–]adult_angst22/F 7 points8 points9 points  (0 children)
Bright side: she could have never mentioned she was four months pregnant
[–]DarkangelUK 14 points15 points16 points  (3 children)
Not only is her previous partners sperm still inside her, it has combined with her DNA and is mutating to create a new life form... think about that.
[–]naked_guy_saysMy tinder is full of dogs 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
Not only that but it's leeching off of her resources internally until it grows to a point it has to be forced out. Then continues leeching 20+ years
[–]mikarm 3 points4 points5 points  (1 child)
You make it sound so sweet.
[–]Lilcheeks 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
And salty
[–]adreamtomeat 4 points5 points6 points  (0 children)
Oh man I'm in kind of similar boat, falling for this guy who has a baby on the way. The mom is in the picture but they're not romantically involved. There probably gonna be drama and I'm being foolish.
[–]Stopher 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
Well 1) you know she puts out and 2) you can't get her pregnant.
[–]randomguy532 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
Why ya gotta pick on pickup drivers bro? :/
[–]fretit 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Look at the bright sides: contraception is airtight, her boobs will likely grow larger, constantly suckling on them will toughen the nipples to prepare her better for breastfeeding, and sex is actually good for her (and obviously you).
This could be a great FWB arrangement.
But based on your comment "I have a habit of trying to fix/save chicks who are a hot mess ", I would be really careful.
[–]Used-Car-Salesman26/M/RFRAville 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
nope nope nope nope. Danger, Will Robinson.
[–]RyuukoGo 4 points5 points6 points  (5 children)
Could be worse...she could be 45 years old with 4 kids age 11,12,14,16.
[–]Cruel_Melodyold/male/surly -1 points0 points1 point  (4 children)
Why is that bad?
[–]charliemike43 | M | DC Area 13 points14 points15 points  (2 children)
Because he is afraid of the Outback Steakhouse bill for six people.
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
god damn kids always order desserts
[–]RyuukoGo 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
and the hay bill for her two horses ....food for her 4 dogs....I would have to earn 205k to support her....5k would pay pay the water bill...lol
[–]karma-armageddon 5 points6 points7 points  (2 children)
Well, this is great news if you prefer bareback. Just make sure the ex is dead before proceeding. If he is not dead, he will be in the picture for the next forever.
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 5 points6 points7 points  (1 child)
Well, this is great news if you prefer bareback.
As opposed to preferring rubbers?
[–]ellen_pao 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
also if you dont mind risking stds from a partner who likes bareback sex too.
[–]WorldOneWonM/24/MD 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Damn. I don't have snark because you're already doing more than most, which is meet up with her. But go in feeling positive with this! It's a date dude! Good for you! Who knows, she could be absolutely amazing!
[–]Cruel_Melodyold/male/surly 1 point2 points3 points  (2 children)
"The baby's father is out of the picture forever and there won't be any drama there."
How does she know this?
[–]SethQ24/M/CA/diredork 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
He's dead/in prison for life?
[–]Cruel_Melodyold/male/surly 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
If he's dead, she might want to check into grandparent's rights, if she hasn't already. Assuming they know.
If he's in prison, then that's still a tricky situation.
[–]riggorousgasp, I'm the sexy single! 1 point2 points3 points  (2 children)
[–]FRedington 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
Read some of that article. Whew! ... I'm 40-ish[M]. Society is changing a bit too fast for my likes.
[–]riggorousgasp, I'm the sexy single! 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
I don't think crowd-sourced articles from xoJane are an unbiased reflection of society....
[–]dublos50/M/Minneapolis 1 point2 points3 points  (2 children)
First woman who seems really into me since my return to OKC after a year long relationship is already knocked up.
Are you also into her? 'cause that'd be kind of important.
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
Yeah we have a really high match rating and based on her profile we seem to be into the same stuff.
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Meaning yeah, I read her profile, we exchanged three messages before we set up a lunch date but yeah I'm into her.
[–]TrojanMagnumOpus28/m/references available upon request 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
The cutest/coolest girl who has ever gone out with me was a single mom. She made very clear she didn't want a baby daddy and that the father was gone. It hasn't been weird at all, just hard to schedule dates with her.
[–]mickey_kneecaps 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Pregnant girls are sexy.
[–]no_nader_yes_hamster28/f/love child of Ayn Rand and Rand Paul 3 points4 points5 points  (0 children)
She's pregnant; there is literally nothing about the situation that isn't the purest definition of drama.
[–]PiesfilledwithpeasTRIGGER WARNING: PEAS 4 points5 points6 points  (12 children)
Just so you know, if you have a relationship with the child after its born, you can be deemed the father legally speaking regardless of biology and be held financially responsible. That's aside from the whole issue of what state of mind a woman must be in to be in her second trimester and active on a dating site.
Also, when your pregnant, your hormones turn your nipples and vagina lips brown.
GOOD LUCK :)
[–]WhoreMouth8035/F looking for quality meat 9 points10 points11 points  (1 child)
My parts changed but did not turn brown. Stop scaring the children.
[–]PiesfilledwithpeasTRIGGER WARNING: PEAS 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
But it's Halloween season.
[–]McPantaloonsM 31 7 points8 points9 points  (1 child)
What about people that already have brown nipples and vagina lips? Do they get extra brown? More importantly, who gives a fuck?
[–]PiesfilledwithpeasTRIGGER WARNING: PEAS 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Yeah, I think maybe it is if you are already tan/ brown. I don't personally give a fuck.
[–]monster_snowgoon33/M/S Dakota 0 points1 point2 points  (4 children)
your hormones turn your nipples and vagina lips brown.
Like, forever?
[–]shstewShow me your fangs. 4 points5 points6 points  (2 children)
Pretty sure you're safe from this.
[–]monster_snowgoon33/M/S Dakota 1 point2 points3 points  (1 child)
I'm allowed to be curious.
[–]shstewShow me your fangs. 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
I was just trying to reassure you.
[–]PiesfilledwithpeasTRIGGER WARNING: PEAS 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
No, just while your pregnant. But, I mean, things do change forever so maybe for some.
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 1 point2 points3 points  (0 children)
Just so you know, if you have a relationship with the child after its born, you can be deemed the father legally speaking regardless of biology and be held financially responsible. That's aside from the whole issue of what state of mind a woman must be in to be in her second trimester and active on a dating site.
eek
[–]ellen_pao 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
when your pregnant, your hormones turn your nipples and vagina lips brown
lol
[–]Cruel_Melodyold/male/surly -1 points0 points1 point  (0 children)
Just so you know, if you have a relationship with the child after its born, you can be deemed the father legally speaking regardless of biology and be held financially responsible.
Mmmm...sorta. A higher chance if you marry her while she's pregnant. But not too common these days.
[–]0473332002285 1 point2 points3 points  (2 children)
If you stay with her for at least 5 months, don't sign the birth certificate unless youre prepared to pay 18 years worth of child support.
Even if you don't, I'd consult with a lawyer just in case. You could be playing with fire.
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 0 points1 point2 points  (1 child)
That's the scary thing. Would she expect me to like go to the Lamaze classes and be in the delivery room when the baby is born? That's like Relationship Level 85 shit and we're at Relationship Level 0 and we have five months to get there.
I don't think she wants a FWB/hookup, all her answers/profile indicate she wants a long-term relationship.
[–]0473332002285 2 points3 points4 points  (0 children)
She's in nesting-mode, so yeah, be prepared for her to push you into the father role. Also once the baby is born be prepared not to get sex for a good long while. Good luck, have fun!
[–]krbin29/M/Milwaukee[S] 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Eh, nothing on the line. Just going on a lunch date so far. Honestly don't think we'll be a couple but worth shaking off my OKC dust off on a test first date.
[–]themintyness28/f/ all downhill from here 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
How the hell is this not going to be weird? Please please please write another post. I will get popcorn ready.
[–]Tofusmith25/M/Dinosaur 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
I got a match like this on tinder; five minutes into our conversation, I realized she was a cambot/camgirl.
Weirdest niche advertising I've ever seen.
[–]Green_Go529/M/Philly! 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Hmm... Georgia?
[–]thescott2k 0 points1 point2 points  (0 children)
Heads up, there's going to be drama there.
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