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Proof of Maternity? (MO) (self.legaladvice)

Berht が 投稿

My ex-whatever was wholly unhappy when he found out I was pregnant. Even less happier when I decided to continue with the pregnancy and downright pissed when I had the child.

I request and received a paternity test/suit/etc. and am requesting child support.

He unofficially today announced that he is requesting "proof of maternity" . We have proof the baby is his, he wants proof it is mine.

His reasoning is that (direct quote)

" you could be pulling something. I just want to make sure that baby is yours."

Before I die a little inside at the stupidity and lose all my faith in humanity is there any such real thing called a maternity test?

Has that ever been a thing that has ever been ordered? I mean, I have no problem providing proof I had a child. I have hospital records, a video of it, and I am sure a blood test would show it.

I am just curious.

How seriously would a request for maternity be taken if he really did file that in response to my request for child support?

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[–]Citicop 140ポイント141ポイント  (57子コメント)

I mean, they can link the mother to the child via DNA just like they can link the father.

I doubt the court would entertain it, but I've been wrong before.

[–]Berht[S] 48ポイント49ポイント  (55子コメント)

True! I am thinking he is just upset over having his test come back as a positive match for paternity. Now he is just grasping at anything to delay the inevitable.

I don't mind submitting to a test or showing a birth certificate.

I was just curious if it had ever really been ordered and couldn't find anything even called that in Missouri.

[–]unevolved_panda 161ポイント162ポイント  (4子コメント)

I think it's obvious what happened here--he was sleeping with you and some other woman, and the other woman got pregnant, and you begged/bought/stole her child and are now raising it as your own. Honestly, OP, this is such a transparent moneymaking scheme. I've totally read about how to do it on the internet.

(Do I need to clarify that this is sarcasm? This is sarcasm.)

[–]panic_bread 29ポイント30ポイント  (3子コメント)

How did I never think of this foolproof moneymaking scheme?!

[–]unevolved_panda 48ポイント49ポイント  (2子コメント)

Seriously. If you're not drowning in money, you're using your uterus wrong.

[–]drbudro 47ポイント48ポイント  (42子コメント)

You should only need the hospital record of live birth. A DNA test will also prove you are the mother, but shouldn't be required.

It is insane that your ex thinks you found some other child he had with someone else (since the paternity test was positive) and are pretending it's yours.

[–]bookbabe85 21ポイント22ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah like what does he think is going to happen? okay so she isn't the mother...now you owe child support t this other woman.

[–]Berht[S] 25ポイント26ポイント  (40子コメント)

Logic might not be his strong point.

Hopefully, he just said a stupid thing and won't do a stupid thing like waste the courts time with this.

[–]Hyndis 11ポイント12ポイント  (1子コメント)

You mentioned you had video in the OP. That, combined with the birth certificate, ought to be plenty of evidence enough. To go a step further there's also DNA testing. And thats only if it actually gets that far.

Let him demand anything he wants. Unless you are served legal notice from a court or attorney, ignore it. If he wants a maternity test, let him do all the work and filing of paperwork. You must respond to any legal documents you are served, but unless you're served you don't have to do squat.

[–]Daisy_W 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

This reminds me of a "Dear Abby" letter where a woman wrote in that her husband fooled around so much that "I'm not even sure if our last baby is mine"

[–]NotALawyer506 16ポイント17ポイント  (6子コメント)

yeah hes probably just mad and taking a fit about it. there's def plenty of ways to prove it tho if its forced, unlikely a court will entertain the idea considering I assume you have pregnancy pics and whatever else too

[–]Berht[S] 47ポイント48ポイント  (5子コメント)

I have video, a birth certificate, he actually came to the hospital and saw me and the baby after, I even still have the arm bands, and a c section scar.

I mean, the baby is less than 8 months old.

[–]SJHillman 80ポイント81ポイント  (3子コメント)

You really went all-out on tricking him. Next you're going to tell us that you pulled some crazy stuff to have the kid grow up looking like its related to you.

[–]oosetastic 28ポイント29ポイント  (2子コメント)

How did he manage to get some other woman pregnant without him knowing about it? :-O

[–]Entegy 11ポイント12ポイント  (0子コメント)

This calls for a return of the spermjacking case as precedent.

[–]WinterOfFire 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm wondering if he has another kid and thinks OP has conspired with his ex to use the DNA from this other kid to claim her baby is his. He's crazy but maybe that is a little more logical and if he can conceive of this happening then he thinks they have thought of it too?

[–]psycho_admin 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

Courts and some government agencies have ordered maternity tests in the past. Did you never hear about the mother who almost lost her kids due to the DNA tests?

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/shes-twin/story?id=2315693

[–]lovellama 76ポイント77ポイント  (9子コメント)

Well, there was that lady whose kids didn't match her DNA, and was hauled to court for fraud and almost had her kids taken away. But it turned out she has chimerism, so unless you do too, I wouldn't worry about it. :)

[–]ObLaDi-ObLaDuh 22ポイント23ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dude how terrifying for that woman. You would think that maybe you were actually crazy. YOU remembered nine months of pregnancy, the actual birth, but here's solid scientific evidence saying you may not be the mother of your children.

[–]Berht[S] 30ポイント31ポイント  (5子コメント)

That is crazy! And interesting. I had never heard of this before but I doubt I have it.

I guess we will find out if the court orders it though.

[–]UsuallySunny 55ポイント56ポイント  (2子コメント)

The court is not going to order it. In fact, it's going to take every bit of willpower the judge has not to laugh in his face when he requests it.

In the highly, highly unlikely event you get the craziest judge who ever was crazy, request an order that he has to pay for the test.

[–]Berht[S] 13ポイント14ポイント  (1子コメント)

If it comes to that I would definitely prefer he pay for it. I doubt he will actually file anything though. Hopefully he is just saying this stuff to be mean or confusing or something.

[–]UsuallySunny 14ポイント15ポイント  (0子コメント)

He sounds like a real peach.

[–]lovellama 8ポイント9ポイント  (0子コメント)

It was just a worse case scenario that I think is very interesting.

In your case, I think the court would likely laugh him out of there. I mean, all you have to do is provide doctor's notes and hospital bills, etc.

I'm not a lawyer though, so who knows what will happen. Keep us updated and tell us what the courts says!

[–]Hyndis 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

The interesting thing about chimeras is that they are impossible to detect without DNA testing for comparison purposes, and most people aren't tested in that way.

It is possible that your ovaries could have different DNA than your bone marrow (which makes blood) or your skin cells (usually a scraping inside your mouth), but unless you were DNA tested for maternity no one would ever know.

Chimeras could be quite common indeed. They could be everywhere but undetectable. People could live out their entire lives without ever knowing they're a chimera. Its interesting stuff.

Fortunately you mentioned you also have video and presumably you have witnesses who were in the room with you at the time, so even if you are a chimera you're still okay!

And then you could impress everyone because you're a chimera.

[–]Mrs_CuckooClock 4ポイント5ポイント  (1子コメント)

I heard after the tsunami in Indonesia, a baby was found alive and they had to do maternity testing because several women claimed the baby was their child.

[–]FireHazard11 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well that actually makes sense.

[–]cassius3000 31ポイント32ポイント  (1子コメント)

OP, Please update us and let us know if you really are the mother. LOL

[–]cassius3000 24ポイント25ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'd like to believe that some judges would ask him point blank who he thinks the mother is.

[–]Berht[S] 13ポイント14ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'd like to know that as well. I have actually asked him and gotten no response.

[–]NotALawyer506 20ポイント21ポイント  (3子コメント)

They could technically do a dna test. They could also just talk to the multiple doctors and nurses present when the baby was removed from you, not to mention the offical paperwork alread in existence lol

[–]Berht[S] 41ポイント42ポイント  (2子コメント)

And he was there too! Not during but he came to the hospital immediately after because he wasn't quite sure I had ever been pregnant. He saw the kid and me in a hospital bed. I guess he thinks I submitted a different child for the test or something. Or brought a baby into the hospital. Like his baby. Like another baby he made somewhere with someone and I just happen to find that woman and got her to agree to an elaborate scheme to get that sweet, sweet $217 a month.

[–]NotALawyer506 18ポイント19ポイント  (1子コメント)

lol yeah hes def just mad. Nothing to worry about, enjoy that sweet 217, while your doing the court stuff ask for half of future child care too he may not make enough for it to be official but it should be a separate order from child support. Save yourself some time

[–]Berht[S] 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good advice. Thank you!

[–]damageddude 17ポイント18ポイント  (6子コメント)

announced that he is requesting "proof of maternity"

As a father present for the birth of both my children, there were several witnesses who saw my children come out of my wife's vagina. As those witnesses are on the medical records (I assume, my youngest is 10 so I don't recall who signed what), that should be proof enough -- not to mention the birth certificate, an official government document.

I'd love to hear the court's reaction if the request for maternity gets that far. I guess if taken seriouskly they'd order a DNA test.

[–]Anti_Obfuscator 21ポイント22ポイント  (2子コメント)

I was present at the birth of both of my kids. I could swear however, that the purplish goo covered creature that came out of my wife was an alien, who transmogrified into a human baby inside of 20 minutes.

[–]damageddude 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

LOL! I seemed to have wiped that from my memory...

[–]juuular 1ポイント2ポイント  (0子コメント)

We're all aliens to something somewhere.

[–]Berht[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (2子コメント)

He is probably just pitching a fit and saying stuff to make me angry (maybe). I don't really expect him to file anything and I'd hope any lawyer he got would advise him against it but, hey, he might. And then it would get interesting. Or at least entertaining.

[–]Grave_Girl 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep, that is totally what he's doing. There is an asshole ex handbook somewhere. I haven't heard this particular thing before, but I've encountered so very many cases of men (including my ex) threatening to have the court do something it can't or won't do just to be an asshole. For example, there are a number of divorcées out there whose former husbands tried to force them to resume their maiden names. I guess this is the unmarried asshole version of that.

[–]BanjoFatterson 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

You have entertained us all! Thx, OP's ex!

[–]NefariousStray 30ポイント31ポイント  (9子コメント)

I would think a birth certificate would be proof enough. They have the mother and child's name.

[–]VicunaLlamaAlpaca 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

I would think a birth certificate would be proof enough.

I will point out an obvious statement to add to this:

See, this works for maternity because the doctor typically sees which vagina (or Caesarian) the child falls out of. It DOESN'T necessarily work for paternity given the doctor doesn't see who was in coitus with the mother exactly at the time of conception.

[–]lkysam 6ポイント7ポイント  (0子コメント)

What if the doctor likes to watch?

[–]Berht[S] 10ポイント11ポイント  (6子コメント)

Yep! And I have that. And i've offered to show him.

[–]NefariousStray 53ポイント54ポイント  (5子コメント)

Ugh, just hope that your kid got your brains.

[–]Berht[S] 27ポイント28ポイント  (4子コメント)

I hope so too. Because he actually came to the hospital before the baby and I got to go home. It would be an elaborate scheme but he thinks it is one.

[–]ConstantGradStudent 35ポイント36ポイント  (1子コメント)

OP, your mastermind days are over. The fatal part of your devious plot is that you didn't create a child with an endlessly RICH dumb guy. Best of luck to you, and I expect that your child already has surpassed this DNA donor in IQ.

[–]Berht[S] 17ポイント18ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ha! I was so close, just one mistake.

But honestly, thank you.

[–]NefariousStray 15ポイント16ポイント  (1子コメント)

Can you give him a Liz Lemon quality eye roll and continue the suit? Because I'm pretty sure any judge is going to laugh at him.

[–]Berht[S] 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ha!

He hasn't actually filed anything yet but it could get interesting if he does. I wonder if he will.

[–]erichkeane 12ポイント13ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'm not a lawyer, just someone who is a little O.o about this.

Your quote, " you could be pulling something. I just want to make sure that baby is yours."

Flabbergasts me. He's either an idiot, or is just trying to delay stuff. He KNOWS it is your child by the sheer fact that he is the father! Unless he thinks you are claiming the baby is one of his other children? Does he think this baby belongs to one of his OTHER (ex-)whatevers?

I just don't even know what the heck he thinks is going to happen. Too bad we can't get an AMA with him to figure out what is going through his mind...

[–]alexa-488 9ポイント10ポイント  (1子コメント)

There's obviously no logic behind it. But hey, maybe OP is a mad scientist who grew a baby in a vat from some other woman's egg and spliced in this man's DNA so she could make some sweet profits or... something. I don't even know.

[–]BanjoFatterson 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

OP, report to the Nobel committee immediately!

[–]Berht[S] 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, I have no idea what he is talking about. He claims not to have any other children and is definitely not paying child support to any of them so his logic is so confusing that I don't even know where to start.

[–]InvalidZod 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Scientifically? Its very possible to do a maternity test.

Legally? Thats up in the air. He would need to somehow really smooth talk a judge who really doesnt give a shit.

[–]ObLaDi-ObLaDuh 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would pay money to see someone successfully convince a judge that a recent domestic birth certificate signed by a medical professional who is still alive and able to sign an affidavit as to the authenticity of the certificate is not sufficient to prove maternity.

Pay real money.

[–]guattarist 5ポイント6ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your ex is the living punchline to a bad joke.

[–]ThisIsMyFatLogicAlt 6ポイント7ポイント  (1子コメント)

Has that ever been a thing that has ever been ordered?

Finally, an opportunity to put my obscure medical trivia to use!

There actually has been at least one instance of a court-ordered maternity test, albeit in different circumstances than yours. Link. Basically, she was accused of welfare fraud by passing off other people's children as her own, and DNA tests showed she was not the mother of her children. Spoiler: she had a rare condition known as chimerism, where she absorbed her fraternal twin in utero and was carrying both her and her sister's genetic code - and it was her dead sister's genes that were getting passed on.

[–]juuular 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I like your username

[–]thechroshley 4ポイント5ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't remember all the details, but my office had a case where there was maternity testing. It was something like she gave birth in an ambulance then ran off before they got to the hospital or got any of her information. When she came back and wanted her baby, she had to have DNA testing to prove the baby was hers.

[–]Nillix 3ポイント4ポイント  (1子コメント)

That would have to be quite the conspiracy involving the hospital, the doctors, the nurses, and some rando infant obtained God-knows-how.

[–]LogicalTimber 7ポイント8ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not just a random infant, though. There's already been a paternity test that confirmed it's his. So some other random infant that he fathered at almost exactly the same time.

[–]TheShadowCat 3ポイント4ポイント  (0子コメント)

I really hope this goes to court, just so we can read what claims his lawyer makes, and the judges response.

[–]cld8 2ポイント3ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've never heard of such a thing. Let him petition the court for a maternity test if he wants. The judge will probably laugh at him.

[–]Greencard01 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

yeah sure why not

[–]Junkmans1 0ポイント1ポイント  (0子コメント)

I really wouldn't do anything other than laugh at this absurd request of his unless, and untill, a court actually orders you to do a DNA test. I don't think you have much to worry about here as I couldn't imagine this happening.